I Know I'm Not Good Enough For You
by EClareObsession
Summary: "'Loves a strong word'; I've heard that a million times. I don't care if I'm using the strongest word to ever be invented-I love Clare Edwards" - Eli and Clare ! EClare Eli's POV
1. Intro

The reason why I'm writing this story is because the minute that Eli and Clare met, I fell in LOVE with the couple(:  
They are the CUTEST couple ever. And Degrassi is amazing. Recently, the episodes have really been heating up.  
I especially am writing this story because, Eli and Clare kissed in tonight's episode(: I love EClare!  
Please Read and Review(:

BTW- The first scene is the same scene in All Falls Down: Part One, but I changed a lot of the lines. (:

_Opening Chapter_

I approached_ her,_

_She _was everything to me.

Every time I saw her, all I could think of was how to make her kiss me

I couldn't even focus in English, all I did was glanced over at her, every chance I could.

And those few special times, when she happened to be staring at me first- it was like Heaven.

I loved making eye contact with her big, blue, bright eyes. The way her jaw dropped and she became nervous.

When ever I'd get 'too close' to her, she'd get all awkward/nervous and stutter.

Just the way she did every thing.. It made me more in love with her.

"Hiding from the some one?" I joked, she slightly jumped at my voice, not exactly expecting me.

"Not exactly, why would I be?" She asked, as she proceeded to walk over to the books in the library.

"Eh, I don't know" I began "Saving the world, _Edwards_? One stink bomb at a time.."

She looked at me, first surprised- but her expression soon turned in to a smirk.

Even the sight of her smiling gave me the chills.. Every thing about her.

"I KNEW IT WAS YOU!" I replied, sounding as if I was victorious.

"Shh! I'm scared out of my mind! Simpson is going to expel me!"

"3 days suspension- **at most**!" I calmed her down.

"Oh my God.. Simpson's coming! Should I just tell him?" She panicked.

"Let me take care of it.." I replied, before approaching Simpson, with Clare following me.

"Sir- Mr. Simpson" I began "About the whole stink bomb thing- I heard Fitz bragging about setting it off.. talking to him would be necessary."

Simpson paused, he most likely wouldn't believe me.. No teachers really ever do.

"Is this true?" He asked, making eye contact with Clare. Clare turned pale, even when her face was white as ever- she was still adorable.

"Possibly" She answered, looking as if she was about to throw up.

"I'll look in to it. Thanks." Mr. Simpson proceeded to walk away. I turned to Clare, smirking.

"What are you going to do once Fitz finds out some one told Mr. Simpson?" Clare immediately asked, the minute Mr. Simpson was out of sight.

"I'll take care of it." I assured her. "Now, let's talk about more important things-"

"Such as?"

"How your going to pay me back?"

"What'd you have in mind?"

"I don't know-" Before I could even finish the word 'Know', I leaned in and kissed Clare.

Probably the best, most deepest kiss I've ever had.

More enjoyable then anything possible.

Right when we pulled away, I broke the silence-

"I've got a French exam"

"I think you passed" she replied.

I couldn't help but smirk as I walked away.

Maybe this was the start of some thing.


	2. Chapter 1

Thanks for the reviews guys(:

**DontStopBelieving **- I LOVED that scene sooo much! and Yees, there is a second chapter(: I plan for this to be a long story.  
**Princesakarlita411 **- Thanks very much for the review(: !  
**Krazeycik** - Thanks for the review! (:  
**Ashkira -** Thanks for the review, the couple is adorable!

Chapter One  
"Think Twice Before You Touch MY Girl"

Mental Note- **NEVER** take French again.

I can't begin to focus on this exam, All I can think about is Clare.

* * *

I walked out of class, in search for that- blue eyed curley haired girl.

A small smile spreaded across my face the minute I spotted her leaning against my locker.

I approached her..

"Edwards, what brings you here?" I asked, beginning to open my locker.

"Making sure you didn't flunk your exam, I've heard you speak French before, it's not the greatest" She burned me, I smiled.

"Alright, I thought I already passed my French exam this morning?" I replied, referring to her remark earlier.

"No, I don't remember that" She sarcastically replied

"Here- Lemme' remind you.." I proceeded to lean in, inches away-

when Fitz happened to give me a little visit..

"Hey Goth" first words that came out of his mouth.. Yeah, real clever there Fitzy..

"What can I do for you? _Another_ fake ID?"

"Listen, I just spent an hour in Simpson's office, because a little somebody told him I set off a stink bomb?"

"It must of slipped out of my mouth" I sarcastically replied, I loved messing with Fitz, he wasn't the brightest guy in the world.

Yeah, Messing with Fitz is fun.. until he punches you in the face.

I fell to the floor. Liquid gushed out of my lip..

What was the liquid? Blood.

"There, maybe that'll stop lies from _'slipping out of your mouth'_" Fitz began.. "Watch it there Eli.. I'm not done with you." Fitz claimed as he stormed away.

Clare dropped to her knees, and put my head on her leg, for it to rest.

"A-Are you okay?"

"I'm teaching him a lesson.. One he'll never forget."

"Violence isn't the answer!" She answered, Example one of Clare's Saint ways

"What would you rather have me do!" I yelled

Clare then stood up and took my hand- helping me stand up

The two of us stood by my locker-

"MAYBE- stay low and go to the dance tonight with your.. _girlfriend_?" I couldn't help but smile

"Yeah your right.. I guess I'll go hang with Jenna" I joked, Clare hit my arm and began walking away.

I followed after her.

"Hey, I was kidding. I'd much rather go to the dance with my girlfriend- _Clare_." I told her.

She smiled and began to bite her bottom lip.

"I'll get our dance tickets." She replied before walking away.

I stood there, watching her walk all the way down the hall.

She's beautiful.. _extremely_ beautiful

I walked those halls, feeling like I was on top of the world.

I have Clare, and Break starts after today..

How much more could I ask for?

* * *

Clare and Adam were talking, looked like an intense talk..

"Some one tell me that I can still graduate even though I flunked everything?" I joked.

The two seemed serious, Nervousness overcame my mind-

_"What if she doesn't wanna date me?"_ Was the question that swarmed throughout my mind.

"Well, I think your extremely smart and you definitely did not fail anything. Your really smart, Eli. Like your a genius" Clare nervously rambled on- I could hardly understand the language she was speaking at the moment..

"Don't speak in French- Just tell me in English.." I replied

"Well, you call me Saint Clare all the time.. which means I act like a Saint.. which also means that I love doing the right thing, which means-" Clare, again, rambled on until Adam interrupted her

"She's going to Vegas Night with Fitz"

My jaw hit the floor, my heart sank, and my stomach got butterflies.

"WHAT?" was the first thing I yelled "Explain this concept to me, please Clare. Explain why your going to the dance with my enemy, when I'm your boyfriend?"

"LISTEN, I have a good explanation-" She begged for my patience.

"It better be amazing."

"I was walking down the hall when.. Fitz approached me. He asked me if I had any plans for the night and I said yes I do, but then he asked me to the dance and I said yes."

"I'm not following!" I yelled, I had every right to be pissed.

"Well.. The real reason is because he promised to stop bullying you and Adam if I went with him.." She explained.

"I can fight my own battles, Clare.. You don't need to go hangout with that asshole just to end a fight.. I can end it myself.."

"Eli, Don't be mad.. I like YOU, not Fitz, not KC- I like you. Don't let one night ruin that."

I remained silent, no matter what she said I was still pissed

"Are you mad at me?" She asked- The way she tilted her head and bit her bottom lip- her cheeks were so red... She was so cute.

"A little bit" Whatever happened to being extremely pissed?

"Good. A little bit's better then alot." Clare replied "Wanna come over before Alli and Jenna show up? I have like 2 hours of spare time."

"Save your spare time to dress up for Fitz.. I heard he likes thongs." I replied, before walking away.

There's no way I can get over the fact that my girl's going with Fitz.

All I wanted was ONE special night with Clare, one that was going to replay in both of our minds for a long time.

I wanted to come home, and be able to smell her perfume on my clothes.

I wanted to her to fall asleep in my arms.

I wanted to hold her forever and not let go.

Sure, it might be cheesy... but I can't be any thing other then that when I think of Clare.

I love her-

_Loves a strong word_; I've heard that a million times.

I don't care if I'm using the strongest word to ever be invented-

I love Clare Edwards.

And I need a plan.. A plan to get Fitz away from MY girl.

Fitz better think twice before he touches my girl..


	3. Chapter 2

The finale... OH MY GOSH, I almost cried when Fitz was coming at Eli! Ahhh, that was good.  
I'm soo excited for this fall! Degrassi is so good! Review & tell me your thoughts about the finale!  
And Oh my God, next fall .. is craazy! I'm really nervous though, in the preview- it looks like Eli has like a breakdown or some thing. If you guys couldn't see it in the promo- one of his hands is like dropping all these papers/books, while the other hand is on the top of his head and he looks scared as fuck! AHHH, I'm nervous!

**never let go .xo**- I had to space your name out, because for some random reason- whenever I'd attempt to save my document- it would erase your name. I'm soo sorry, for the inconvience. And I was on almost in tears at the ending of the finale! Ahh, It was soo good. Thanks very much for the review(:  
**MysteryGirlOfDegrassi**- Awwh! That was soo nice of you to say. Thankyou so much, it really means a lot! Thankyou(:  
**Princesskarlita411**- Thank you for the review(:  
**DontStopBelieving-** I'm glad I made you smile(: And I LOVE long reviews, so thanks sooo much for that! (: I'm soo honored that you like my story, it means a lot. Thank you so much. (:  
**Krazeycik-** ahahahhaa, thanks for the review(:

**WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!** -  
I stole a season from the finale, so if you haven't watched the finale yet- and you don't want me to ruin it for you- don't read this chapter!  
And After this chapter I'll stop following the show's storyline- I'm going to go off on to my own story line(:

Chapter Two  
"It's Some Thing Unpredictable.."

I parked in the Degrassi parking lot..

Many people would say- _'Why would he go to a dance to watch his girlfriend suck face with his enemy?'_

But I don't care. I want to ruin their night.

I want Fitz to wish he never had asked my girl to the dance.

He has what's coming to him..

And I don't feel a bit bad.

I entered the gym.

Cheesy decorations? Very.

Cheesy music? Extremely.

My eyes wandered around the room until I spotted _her_

Fitz and her were talking, all though it seemed a bit awkward between the two.

I acted as if I hadn't seen them, and approached a poker table.

I sat down, and was immediately approached by Clare, who had Fitz walking after her.

"Hey Eli, why are you here?" Clare asked me,

"It's a school dance.. I'm allowed to be here, aren't I?" I obnoxiously replied.

I was being a jackass- I'll admit that.. But do I care? Not at all.

"I'm going to get some thing to drink.. I'll be right back" Clare stated before walking away.

Now.. It was me and Fitz.. Time to settle things.

"If I hear that you even touched her, or did any thing with her-" I began, before Fitz interrupted

"Calm down Eli.." He then paused "We're only going to have sex" He replied, with an evil smirk.

I then did the unthinkable..

I kicked Fitz in the one place that no man want's to get hit..

Fit's hit the floor, and his face turned pure red..

"That's payback for Clare, and for kicking me 2 months ago." I stated.

Clare immediately made her way over, and saw what I had done.

Of course- Saint Clare choses the _victim's_ side.

"Eli! What did you do to him?"

"I did it for you, Clare!" I argued.

"Why would you physically hurt some one for me? What did he even do!" She yelled

"He said he was going to have sex with you. It's the only way I could stop him!"

"Action's speak louder then words, Eli.. And your actions prove that your not the guy I thought you were.. You deserve what comes to you." Clare then helped Fitz stand up and the two walked out of the dance.

I stood there, completely shocked.

I put my neck on the line, and hurt Fitz.. for her- and this is what I get?

I needed to vent, so I approached Adam.

"What the hell happened over there with Clare?" Was his first question

"Fitz said he was going to bang her, so I low blowed him- She's giving me a stupid lecture on how words and actions are different." I explained "I don't care what she think about what I did.. I did it- and that's all there is to it."

"You really like Clare, Eli, she's your girlfriend. Do you really want to lose her over some stupid bully?" Adam asked,

His question got me thinking,

What if I do lose Clare, and she falls for Fitz?

I definitely need to fix this situation..

I then proceeded to go in to the hallway.

I looked from left to right, and didn't spot either of them.

I continued to wonder the halls, in search for Clare.

That's when I saw the two, by Fitz's locker..

Clare looked scared..

I approached the two and immediately became confused once I noticed Clare crying, and Fitz's intense, frustrated facial expression

"Eli! Go!" Clare demanded, tears rolling down her face.

"What's going on?" I asked, worried, as I stood next to Clare- facing Fitz's.

"Fitz.. You should go." Clare began, I suddenly noticed that Fitz was holding a knife. Me and Clare took a small step back.

"And let pretty boy make time with my date?" Fitz replied..

"Please Fitz, don't do any-" Clare begged before Fitz cut him off

"Shut up bitch!" He yelled at her..

I didn't know what to do..

I knew that Fitz was only trying to hurt me.. So I needed to save Clare.

"Get away from me." I told Clare, as I gave her a soft shove on her shoulder..

Clare backed away in to one of the lockers, I then turned back to Fitz.

"Look.." I began "I'm sorry about before, about every thing. You win." I begged for his forgiveness.

"I've heard that before." He responded, then he pushed me

Tears came to my eyes.. This could be the end of every thing..

"Stop, I'm serious." I told him.

"So am I!" Fitz then shoved me once more "You've had this coming for a while." Fitz paused "What's wrong, emo boy, out of smart ass comments?" He taunted me.

He shoved me again, but this time I hit the wall.

I was against the wall, while Fitz stood in front of me - and Clare stood crying against one of the locker's across from me.

Fitz gripped the knife so that it was facing me, his grip was tight.

A tear rolled down my cheek.. He was in position to stab me, I didn't know what to do.

"Please don't do this."

"Some one's gotta shut you up."

Fitz brought the knife closer to me..

"NO!" I yelled

Fitz then stabbed..

I fastly grabbed on to my stomach, I heard Clare scream..

I felt no pain, no blood.. I looked at Fitz with scaredness in my eyes.

I slipped down to the floor, and was in shock.

I then looked up at the wall next to me, where Fitz had stabbed..

"These games? ..Are over." Fitz stated.

Clare rushed to my aid, as she sat down next to me, crying in my shoulder.

Fitz then walked away- leaving the knife stabbed in the wall.

I was in total shock, I couldn't begin to believe what had just happened.

"Let's go" Clare whispered after a few minutes of dead silence.

I nodded softly, I was in lost for words.

I had no idea what to say, what to think, or what to do.

I had just watched my life flash before my eyes.

I had just been in tears- begging for my life..

Clare helped me up and we exited the school.

We began walking down an alley.

"Eli.. Are you okay?" She asked.

Stupid question.

I shrugged, I wasn't in the mood for a conversation.

"Please, talk to me.. I'm really scared." She begged.

"What do you want me to say?" I softly replied.

"Anything. I just need to talk to you."

I remained silent, I had no idea what to even say..

She grabbed my shoulder to stop me from walking.

"I'm so sorry.. Eli.. for every thing." She apologized.

"You didn't do a thing wrong.." I replied. "No need to apologize."

"But I was wrong- you didn't deserve what happened to you."

"Whatever." I replied softly. "I'm going home."

I then stormed away- and immediately entered my hearse..

Only a few minutes ago, I thought I was going to die.. and now I'm driving a hearse.. _Ironic_

"Eli!" Clare yelled. "Please!"

But I ignored her, I entered my hearse and sped off.


	4. Chapter 3

**Krazeycik** - I know! Eli looked soo sad! I wanted to give him the biggest hug! Lol, thanks for the review! (:  
**never let go .xo **- I'm soo nervous about how Clare's walking away from Eli crying! Ahh :( I hope every thing's okay. Thanks for the review(:  
**zeldaskeeper **- Thanks for the review. (:  
**Princesakarlita411** - Thank you soo much for the review! (:

SORRRRY- for not updating, I've been having a little bit of writer's block. But here's a new chapter, tell me what you think!

Chapter Three  
"Secrets"

Later that night,

It was 2 AM

And I found myself, standing outside of the Edward's home, looking up at Clare's bedroom window.

I guess a good explanation for this would be that I had been drinking a little too much the past few hours..

I'd definitely regret this in the morning..

I took a tiny pebble and threw it at her window,

Once I heard no response- I took about four more pebbles and threw them

Suddenly, the window opened and I saw a confused Clare looking down at me.

"Eli?" She whispered.

"Come out." I demanded.

"Why are you here?" She asked

"Just come outside."

She nodded and proceeded to close the window.

After a minute or two, Clare walked out of her house and approached me.

"Are you drunk?" She asked, probably smelling the vodka and beer on my breath.

"No, not the tiniest bit." I had lied..

She'd probably would of believed me if I hadn't slurred all of my words.

"Eli, your drunk- it's 2 AM, and you need to go home." She explained to me.

"Don't take me home- don't go back inside. Just stay with me Clare." I begged. "After what happened, I noticed how much I need you. I realized how bad I want you. I love you so much, Clare." I told her..

I usually was never straight-forward about my feelings.. But then again, I didn't exactly have too much control over the things I had said.

"Eli.." She sounded mad, so I half-smirked- maybe that would make her happier. "What could you possibly want to do at 2 AM?" She asked

"This-" I said right before I put my hand on her lower back and pulled her closer to me.. I then kissed her.

I put as much heart as I could in to that one long kiss. I wanted to prove to Clare that I did like her.

We slowly ended the kiss, but remained incredibly close to each other.

Clare smiled at me.

I leaned in to kiss her one more time, but Clare looked down- so we would put our forheads together.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Your drunk." She reminded me.

"Who cares."

"I do."

I paused, how was I supposed to respond?

"How bout I bring you home, you go to sleep and we can hangout tomorrow night?" She suggested.

Even though, all I wanted to do was have her fall asleep in my arms- I agreed to her suggestion.

"Yeah, fine." I replied.

"Keys?" She demanded.

I rolled my eyes.

"Here." I handed them to her and we entered the car.

After only 3 minutes, we were parked in front of my home.

"Thanks Clare.. for dealing with me."

"No problem, Eli." She replied.

I smiled and exited the car.

I slowly walked to my home, as Clare sat there- watching me.

Once I reached my front door, I looked back at her and smiled.

She then smiled back and drove off.

I didn't enter my house after she left though..

I had different plans in mind..

* * *

I woke up the next morning..

Extremely confused..

I wasn't in my bed.

I was in some one elses..

"Good morning baby."

Fuck..

I need some one to explain to me

Why I'm in Bianca's bed.


	5. Chapter 4

**Princesakarlita411** - Thanks for the review(:  
**Teamjake1234** - Thank you very much for the review! (:  
**zeldaskeeper** - Lol, thanks for the review!  
**DontStopBelieving** - Awwwh, I'm sorry for like scaring you! Lol. Thanks sooo much for the review, it really means a lot.  
**never let go .xo** - ahhaha, thanks for the review ! (:  
**Francesca** - Lol, thanks for the review.  
**Mackenzoe** - Hah, sorry. Things are going to change though, that's not the ending of the story..  
**eclare luv **- Thanks for reviewing (:

Chapter Four  
"Just For Kicks"

"What happened last night?" I yelled, in confusement.

"Don't freak out- nothing happened. You passed out in my alley and some asshole across the alley was threatening to call the cops on you, so I claimed that you were my step brother." Bianca explained

"..And why is my shirt off?" I asked, extremely confused on that part.

"You took it off on your own. I slept on the couch- Nothing happened. I swear." She promised.

"Don't tell anyone that I was here." I demanded.

She smiled,

"Sure." She replied, I didn't trust Bianca.. At all.

I soon left her house and made my way home.

Right when I arrived- I showered and layed down on my bed.

I attempted to remember every last bit of last night

I tried to make the whole night replay in my head..

But there was so many blank spots- parts of the night that made no sense.

All though, I kind of remember falling asleep in Bianca's bed.

I'm POSITIVE that nothing happened between the two of us.

After ten minutes of thinking, my phone vibrated.

A text from Alli ?

"Once Clare finds out what you did.."

What is that supposed to mean?

"What are you talking about?" I replied.

"You and Bianca? Every one's talking about it."

"Me and Bianca did NOTHING, she took care of me because some guy was going to call the cops on me."

"Yeah.. That's not what she said."

I didn't even bother texting back, I just got out of my bed and left my house.

I walked to Clare's house- as fast as possible.

I knew that Alli had most likely told Clare already.

I rang the doorbell, Clare answered.

She looked like she was going to round house kick me straight in the face..

I would if I was her.

"Let's talk." I stated.

She walked outside and closed her front door.

"What did you do with Bianca?" was the first thing she asked.

"Nothing! I passed out in her alley, this guy was calling the cops on me- so she took me in her house, and I slept there. That's all!"

"Then why is she telling every one you two hooked up?" Clare yelled.

"We didn't, Clare. I would never do that to you." I told her.

"You were drunk, Eli, I doubt you even remember!" That was a good point..

"Clare, I remember passing out- and falling asleep." I told her "NOTHING happened."

"Every one's texting me and telling me! People I hardly even know are! Every one knows that we're dating, and they all are going crazy about how you slept over, shirtless, at Bianca's house!"

Suddenly, Clare began crying

"Clare, babe, look at me." I demanded, as I grabbed her hands, "I love you. Bianca? Is a huge slut, that I don't even find attractive. Please, I'm begging you- just believe me."

She pulled her hands away from me-

"I don't think I can."

She then entered her house and left me to stand there..

All alone.

I then walked back to Bianca's house.

I rang the doorbell- Bianca's mom answered..

"Is Bianca here?" I asked, attempting to seem like a nice, non-pissed guy.

"Hold on." Her mother then yelled for Bianca and Bianca came to the door.

She came outside, and closed the door.

"Well well, what brings you here? Going to pass out in my alley, again?"

"Fuck you, Bianca. Clare hates my guts because you lied about last night!" I snapped.

"Hey, I took care of you- don't you think I deserve to say.. or_ lie_ about whatever I want?"

I wanted to hit her. Right then and there.

"Fuck you Bianca, I'm going to make your life a living hell if you don't tell the truth."

"Alright, Lemme' go get Fitz to pull a knife out on you again."

"Go ahead! I'm not fucking scared of you or your stupid ass friends. Your all losers."

"You should be talking.. _emo kid_." Bianca replied,

I hated her.. SOO much.

"Wait and see, Bianca.. You'll regret all of this."

"Alright Eli. Wait till you AND Clare are both in the hospital. Things will really be _regrettable_ then.." She then walked inside.

I was pissed, more pissed then you could even imagine.


	6. Chapter 5

**zeldaskeeper**- Hahahhaa, Thanks for the review! (:  
**princesakarlita411** - You'll have to read and find out! (: Thanks for reviewing!  
**never let go .xo** - I know! Fitz and Bianca are the worst! Thank you for the review.  
**Krazeycik**- Thank you soo much for reviewing! (:  
**TeamJake1234 **- Hahah, Thanks for reviewing! (:  
**No Name** - Thanks for reviewing!

Chapter Five  
"I Want The Truth"

I sat at home that night,

All by myself.. All Alone.

I had nothing to do-

Adam was on vacation with his family,

Clare hated my guts..

And besides those two- I have no one.

I decided walking was the best option at this desperate time.

I walked outside, the semi-cold wind was blowing in my face.

I didn't mind it though,

I was used to things being 'uncomfortable'.

Clare..

How to describe Clare Edwards is incredibly difficult.

The first thing I would say, about her appearance, is she's very put together.

She always looks perfect. Her clothes all match, her beautiful big eyes pop out at you.

Her hair curls in to perfect little spirals that you want to continuously twirl around your finger.

Her face was so bright- so beautiful.

Her smile could light up any one's bad day.

She'd always bite her bottom lip, when she grew nervous.

Her lip-biting would always turn in to a smirk, and then to a smile.

Her Personality?

Clare is probably one of the smartest girls I know.

I've never seen a teacher give her a below B grade.

She had a good sense of humor, all though she was very sensitive.

She also always stook up for herself.

Some say- Clare is too scared to fight back-

But that's a lie. I could name over a hundred times- when I would say some thing offensive to Clare, she would snap at me as if the world depended on it.

But that was the BEST thing about Clare.

She did the unpredictable

Clare was unpredictable.

Bad and Good thing..

Originally, you'd expect Clare to be forgiving and trusting-

But in all reality - She holds grudges.

Once you've hurt Clare- your done.

She hardly ever gives second chances.

That's why I was determined.

I was determined to show Clare that I'm not the fuck-up every one thinks I am.

I want her to see past my attitude and appearance.

I want Clare to see _me_.

I arrived back home and layed down on my bed.

I had ideas/plans, to win Clare back, floating around in my head.

None of them seemed good enough though..

* * *

The Next Day -

My eyes flickered open, as the sunlight shined through my windows.

Worst way to wake up? By the brightness of the sun.

Today is especially the worst- since I'm in the shittiest mood ever.

I wanted a thunderstorm- I wanted water to leak through my ceiling.

I wanted intense rain- but of course, that's not what I got.

Instead, I got the sunniest, most happiest day possible..

_Great._

I showered and watched TV for about an hour,

after doing so- I left my house.

My mother was barely home, and my parent's were divorced.

I had a brother and sister.

Brother - 25, out of the house.

Sister - 18, in college.

I was the only one living at home, with my mom.

Well- it was more like living by myself.

My mom hated being home- she claimed that it reminded her of my father and all the better times in her life.

She always was at work, or out getting drunk.

I hated it.

But it was also a good thing,

It gave me a chance to be independent.

To grow up.

To be myself.

I left my house and entered my car.

I drove to the Edward's home.

I texted Clare - "I'm outside, let's go for a drive."

"No." -was the reply I had received.

Ouch.

"Clare, please." I begged.

I waited five more minuets, no response.

All of the sudden, Clare came walking out of her front door.

I smirked- her coming meant that she at least cared a little bit.

She got in the passenger's seat, with her arm's crossed- also having the meanest facial expression on.

I began driving, not even saying hello- hardly even looking at each other.

I stopped at railroad tracks

"Why are we here?" She asked.

"I come here when my life's fucked up.. Like when my parent's got divorced- I came here. When my girlfriend died- I came here. This place is relaxing.. It calms all the worries and hurt." I explained.

She nodded, We sat there for another minute- in silence.

I, suddenly, exited the car, and came around to the passenger's side.

I opened her car door, and Clare then got out of the car.

I closed the door,

"What are we going to do here?" She asked.

"Talk."

"About?"

"You know what I want to talk about." I replied, she nodded. Clare was staring down at her feet, with her arms crossed. I had my hands buried deep in my pockets, as I looked at her. I was waiting for her to look my in the eyes, _begging_ for her to look me in the eyes.. That's when...

She looked me in the eyes.

"I'm hurt, Eli." She told me, as her voice began to become shakey, and her eyes grew shinier. "I thought we had some thing, I thought this whole Fitz situation, created a new beginning for us."

"It did, Clare. You got to believe me. I went to Bianca's, after I talked to you. She even said it herself- nothing ever happened between me and her. She claims that since she wasted her time- taking care of me, that she deserves to say or lie about whatever she wants."

"How am I supposed to believe you?" She asked,

"Look me in the eyes- and tell me that you honestly believe that I would hookup with Bianca." I demanded.

Clare looked me in the eyes.

We looked each other in the eyes, in silence, for about a minute-

"Eli- I don't know."

"No, Clare- if you honest to God believe that I hooked up with that skank, then tell me now. Because if you want me out of your life- Then say the words, and I'm gone." I told her.

"I want you out-" I looked down, in disbelief.

"I'll drive you home." I told her.

I began to walk past her, going towards my car- until she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her.

"No Eli, I want you in my life- for as long as possible." She then kissed me.


	7. Chapter 6

**Princesakarlita411** - Thank you so much! (:  
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PS- Thanks so much for the reviews guys,  
The more that you guys review- the more it makes me want  
to continue this story!  
If you guys keep reviewing like this-  
This story will be going on for a VERY long time(:

Chapter Six  
"Let's Start A Riot"

I had spent that entire day with Clare.

It was one of the best days this year.

All we did was hung out, kissed, and talked.

It couldn't get any better.

But as my beliefs state-

_When every thing seems to be good.._

_Trouble follows. _

I was right, once again.

Clare and I were walking down the street, close to the Dot, around 10 PM that night.

Our original plan was to walk around till 12ish , and then I'd take her home.

But plans always seem to change.

As we were walking, arguing about who's taste in music was better- we were interrupted.

"Oh Eli!" Fitz taunted me from across the street.

I rolled my eyes and turned towards him, as did Clare.

"What do you want Fitz?" I asked, not in the mood for fighting.

"Well, Bianca asked me to take care of some dude who harassed her and threatened her." Fitz began. "Now, I don't know what your emo beliefs are- but I do know that a guy should NEVER mess with a girl, or one of my friends."

I crossed the street, with Clare following. I stood face to face with Fitz.

"Alright, Fitzy- I thought this stupid rivalry was over?"

"It was over.. until you messed with my girl." Fitz answered, giving me a shove.

"Last time I checked- Bianca wasn't _your_ girl. Even though she's the biggest skank I know- I don't think she'd ever stoop down to your levels. No girl in their right mind would." I snapped at him.

That's when Fitz shoved me- once again.

This time- I did some thing..

I punched Fitz right in the face.

He flew back, and blood gushed out of his nose.

He then pulled his arm back as far as possible and punched me in the face.

Probably the worst pain I've ever felt.

I fell to the ground, lip/nose bleeding.

Fitz got ready to punch me some more- but I kicked him right in the gut.

I then stood up, and Fitz immediately tackled me in to dumpsters.

Clare was frightened as she stood there watching.

We were going at it- worse then ever before.

Punches and kicks were every where.

"ELI! STOP! LET'S GO!" Clare demanded / begged me.

But I ignored her.

The cops then showed up.

They immediately broke up our fight, and forced us to put our hands on the wall.

This was not only the first time that the cops had caught me and Fitz fighting- but the second time.

But this time.. was different.

They handcuffed Fitz, and me right after.

They put us both in the car and began driving, I looked back out the window at Clare.

She looked extremely scared.

* * *

I didn't get home till 3 AM that night.

I had cleaned all the blood off my knuckles and face.

I examined the bruises on my arms, and face.

I had four bruises on my arms- 3 on my right, 1 on my left.

I also had a bruise on my cheek.

I wasn't scared of Fitz..

But he sure did hit hard.

* * *

I woke up late the next day- around 1 P.M.

I immediately showered and blasted music in my room.

My face felt like it was hit by a bus, and my arms were hardly movable.

I layed on my bed, with music blasting till about 2:30.

That's when some one rang the doorbell.

I got up to answer it, but left my music on.

You could hear the music from outside.

I answered the door, to reveal Clare.

"Hey." I said, scared and caught off guard.

I wasn't sure on how Clare felt on the situation.

"Are you okay?" She asked, concerned.

Now- this was a good sign.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered, trying to act like the ginormous bruise on my face didn't even hurt. "Want to come in?"

"Sure." She answered.

I let her in, and ran up to my room to turn the music off.

I then came back downstairs and saw Clare sitting down on the front room couch.

I sat down next to her.

"Sorry about last night, Fitz just really pisses me off." I explained to her, she smiled.

"It's fine. It was his fault, but I'd appreciate if you didn't do that any more." She told me. "I understand the whole 'I need to prove I'm better then him' thing, but it sucks watching your boyfriend fight some guy."

"_Boyfriend_?" I asked, smirking.

I had ignored her entire speech- besides that one word.

"Well if you want us to be like that, I mean- you know?" She stuttered, as her face turned red and she became nervous.

She was the cutest when she was nervous.

"Well, _girlfriend_, what's on the plans today?" I asked.

"Well, Alli invited me to hang with her and Drew. I was wondering if you wanted to come with." She began "Since your good friends with Adam- Drew probably likes you. So I just thought it'd be fun, you know?" Again- she was nervous.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"I'm almost positive that we're going out to dinner." She answered "Alli only asked me because she didn't want me to be alone after.. what happened with you, me and Bianca."

Awkward.

"Yeah, I'll go." I attempted to make all the awkward tensions disappear.

"Make me a promise, though."

"Depends- what's the promise?"

"Be EXTREMELY nice to Alli. She doesn't trust you at all, and I really don't want my best friend and boyfriend hating each other."

I rolled my eyes.

I wasn't too fond of Alli.

I considered her a stuck up, slutty and obnoxiously loud girl.

The only time she had ever talked to me was when she was flipping a shit about me and Bianca.

But if it makes Clare happy..

"Yeah. I'll be Mr. Gentleman tonight." I told her, she smiled. "I promise."

"Thank you." She softly answered, I then softly kissed her.


	8. Chapter 7

**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thanks for reviewing!  
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**EClarefan54** - Awwh thank you so much! (:

Chapter Seven  
"Everybody **_Loves_** Me"

I parked my car in front of Clare's home.

I was here to pick her up for our "double date."

I wasn't too excited for this pathetic event.

I always believed that Double Dates were just an idiotic excuse to see how your friends act with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Clearly Alli does not like me.

Is it too surprising and unbelievable that Alli would want to trash me tomorrow for not being the "Perfect Gentleman" to Clare.

I can see it now..

I'll mess up one little thing, one little mistake-

and Alli will never let Clare hear the end of it.

Suddenly Clare exited her house, closing the door behind her.

She immediately smiled at me, and made her way to my car.

She entered the passenger's seat.

I leaned in to kiss her- but she stopped me.

"Save it for later, Alli and Drew are already at the Dot." She stated, smiling.

I smiled back

I proceeded to start my car and make my way to the Dot.

We pulled up- and I was already in the _not-in-the-mood-to-deal-with-your-bullshit_ mode.

I looked at Clare- without even saying a word, she knew what I was thinking.

"I know I know, Eli. Alli isn't the nicest person ever, but she's my best friend. So I'm asking_- _Actually I'm_ begging_ you to treat her good and show her that I have to best boyfriend in the world." She pleaded.

"Fine.. I better be rewarded." I joked with her, she smacked my arm and got out of the car, as did I.

We then entered the Dot together.

I scanned the small, but decent crowd and spotted Alli and Drew in one of the booths.

We sat down.

"Hey guys." Clare immediately greeted the two.

"Hello Clare.. Eli" Alli replied, sounding disgusted once my name came out of her mouth.

Once I didn't reply, Clare nudged my arm.

"Alli, it's nice to see you." I sarcastically- but believably responded.

The conversation continued on..

I felt as if all three of them were speaking in slow motion

and that the night would never end.

I was spaced out-

Dis-included from the conversation that was being held.

"Eli- how do you feel about it?" Alli asked me,

I wish I knew what the hell she was talking about...

"Huh?"

"Eli, how bout you go order us some drinks." Clare interrupted, saving me from Alli.

I nodded and stood up from the booth, I made my way over to the counter.

"Uh, four cokes." I asked, as I sat down on one of the chairs- by the counter.

Suddenly Alli approached me.

"I didn't want you to drop all of our drinks." She made up an excuse.

"Oh." I softly replied, "Thanks."

She wasn't here to help me.. She was here to lecture me.

"How are you guys?"

"Me and Clare?" I asked, as she nodded. "We're good- better then ever."

"Yeah- I heard you fought Fitz last night.. Right in front of Clare?" She began "Doesn't seem like some thing a good boyfriend would do."

"Listen Alli, I don't care what you think 'a good boyfriend is'. All I care about is making your friend happy. And if you really cared about Clare then maybe you'd be attempting to do the same; instead of constantly coming at me and arguing with me over insignificant things." I snapped.

The drinks were put on the counter.

"I don't care if you like me or not- we should at least be friendly in front of Clare.. for her sake." I stated.

I then grabbed two of the drinks, leaving the other two for Alli to carry.

I walked over to the table, acting as if nothing had happened.

I put the drinks on the table, as did Alli

I then sat down.

Alli did the same as me.

* * *

The night went smoothly..

No drama ; only laughter.

Alli's not as bad as I originally thought.

I figured she was some stuck up, annoying, dumb slutty bitch..

BUT she's actually pretty cool, kind of annoying/stuck up at points,

but if you don't include those few moments- Alli's cool.

.

"Bye guys." Alli and Drew walked out of the Dot, hand in hand.

Clare and I looked at each other the moment they left.

"Well, tonight was a success." She told me.

"Hell yeah." I replied, smirking.

"What were you and Alli talking about earlier- when you guys were getting drinks? It looked intense."

"We made peace. We're friends now. It's all good." I answered.

"Good." She smiled. "Listen.." She said, looking nervous.

"Spit it out Edwards." I demanded.

"My parents.. well I accidentally left my phone at home last night, and my mom had found it and was looking through my contacts and what not." Clare began. "She asked me if I was dating some kid named _Eli _.. And I gave her an honest answer. She wants you to come over to dinner tomorrow."

I laughed out loud..

More of a sarcastic laugh-

but it was a laugh.

"Good joke, Edwards."

"Eli.. I'm serious."

"I'm the WORST with parents." I told her "First thing your mom notices- my clothes. Second thing- my sarcastic remarks. Third thing- my nails painted with black Sharpie ; Your moms going to throw me out of your house by my hair." I explained to her.

"My mom is so open minded!" She defended her family.

"Clare- don't even lie. I've seen your mom before." I paused "She's crazy."

"Alright, I know that. But this dinner means a lot to me. And if all goes well- my mom will let you come over whenever you want." She replied.

I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. Whatever. What time?" I asked

Clare smiled at me.

I guess if it made her happy..

I was willing to be miserable.


	9. Chapter 8

**Princesakarlita411** - Thanks for reading and reviewing (:  
**ilovetaylorswift13** - They were official, but after the whole Fitz incident at the dance, and the Bianca rumor- the two were confused on what they were. But now their dating. Thanks for reviewing! (:  
**DegrassiFan894332** - Thanks for reviewing(:  
**ECLARE **- Thank you(:  
**bcuzily** - Omg, I love that video. I've been watching it like everyday for the past two weeks! Lol. I just started making Eli/Clare videos on Youtube. (: Thanks for reviewing!  
**JustineHale** - Lol Thanks for reading and reviewing! It really means a lot.  
**Krazeycik** - Yes he is! Hahaha, thanks for the review! (:  
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**BrennaBerr **- I know! I want Degrassi to start again! Thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
**zeldaskeeper**- Thanks for reviewing (:  
**eclarefan54 **- Thank you so much! (:

Chapter Eight  
"I Hated Being Judged"

I was standing outside of the Edward's home for about 20 minutes now.

I hadn't built up the courage to ring the doorbell yet.

I had worn all black, like usual, which was definitely going to make a bad first expression.

I also had forgotten to wash off the black sharpie from my finger nails- Another bad impression.

Shake it off- Eli, her parent's will get over it.

It'll all work out.

I then proceeded to ring the doorbell, and wait for an answer.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Clare Edwards.

What a relief.

It gave me about five more seconds to waste before having to meet her parents.

"Come in." Clare told me, smiling.

I did as I was told and entered the Edward's home.

Every thing was so clean.

I quickly scanned the house and was pretty impressed.

My house was the dirt on the bottom of my shoes compared to this.

"You must be Eli." Her mother greeted me.

Clearly- why else would I be here?

"Yes I am." I replied, smiling.

"Come sit down in the dinner room." She demanded.

I followed Clare in to the dinner room, while her mother went to the kitchen.

I immediately noticed Mr. Edwards standing by the table.

"Eli, I'm Paul Edwards- Clare's father."

"Nice to meet you, Paul." I joked..

He didn't take it well..

"Call me Mr. Edwards." He rudely replied, he then proceeded to sit down at the table.

Awkward.

Mrs. Edwards entered the room and sat next to Mr. Edwards

Clare and I sat across from the two.

"So Eli, I couldn't help but notice the hearse you had arrived here in." Her mother began.

I probably should've walked..

"Yeah, What's the story with that?" Her father added on, he seemed disgusted by the thought that I drove his daughter around in a hearse.

"My uncle owns a car shop - and the original owner of the hearse didn't want to waste two thousand dollars on fixing all of the cars damages and what not- so he decided to sell it to my uncle, for only seven hundred bucks. My uncles fixed it up for free and gave it to me for my birthday last year." I explained.

"That's.. Odd." Her mother was extremely rude, if that wasn't noticeable..

"Yeah, very rare automobile you drive around. Are your parents okay with it?"

Obviously my fucking parents are okay with it, dumbass.

"My parents are fine with it. They allow me to make my own choices" I lied,

It wasn't that my parents allowed me to make my own choices.. It was that they didn't care enough to stop me.

"Really?" Her mother replied, I nodded - "What do your parents do for work?"

I had made a bad impression.. I didn't want to make it any worse..

So I figured that since Clare had no idea about my parent's lifes, then lying was an option.

And trust me.. I definitely lied.

"Both of my parents are lawyers." Biggest lie ever.

"Very impressive." Her mother complimented.

"How did you two meet again?" Her father changed the topic.

"At church" I lied. Clare's eyes widened.

I held in my laugh.

"Wow really. That's very good." Her mother replied.

"Another thing- that seemed to stick out to me- was your clothing." Mr. Edwards began

Here we go..

"What about it?" I asked, beginning to become extremely offended and defensive.

"Your one of those emo kids, right?" Her father asked, acting as if that wasn't an insult.

"Dad!" Clare yelled.

"I'm just curious."

"Actually- I'm not_ 'one of those emo kids'_. Are you one of those _overly-strict Christian parents_?" I snapped.

Being a smartass to my girlfriend's parents was probably a bad idea..

But even thinking- that her parent's were going to look past my image, was also a stupid idea

"Wow look at the time. Don't you have to go home, Eli?" Clare tried to hint me in on leaving.

"Yeah. It is." I replied, "Thanks for dinner." I sarcastically replied before leaving.

I was pissed.

Did I have every right to be? Yes

I hated being judged.

All though I know that what I had said and then way I reacted was going to come back to punch me in the face.

But it doesn't matter.


	10. Chapter 9

**JustineHale** - Lol, Thanks for the review! (:  
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**zeldaskeeper** - I wouldn't either ! Thanks for reviewing (:  
**DegrassiFan894332** - Hahah thanks for the review! (:  
**eclare16** - Well, I'm mostly keeping the characters as they are in the show.. I didn't mean to butcher the parents- I just wrote about them the way that I see them. I, personally, see Clare's parents as strick- and quickly judging. Lol. Thanks for reviewing(:  
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**Krazeycik** - Lol, thanks. And Honestly- I didn't know his name, so I just made one up! Lmao. Thanks for reviewing! (:  
**Pretty Eyed Girl **- Eli/Munro is AMAZING. His hearse and clothes are the best! Lol (: Thank you so much for reviewing!  
**eclarefan54 **- Lol thanks so much ! (:

-Sorry for not updating the past two days, I've been getting soo much homework! :(

Chapter Nine  
"You're My Only Exception"

That Night, at 10 PM.

I stood outside of the Dot

Waiting for Clare to arrive.

I had asked Clare to meet me here, and she agreed.

Suddenly, I saw her walking towards me.

I grew nervous.

I knew she'd be mad about me mouthing off to her parents.

"Eli." She greeted me, quietly.

"Clare listen.. I'm really sorry. It's just- you know I have a bad temper. I can't take people who judge me for my appearance. I know I fucked up, and I regret it." I apologized, she stood there, with her arms crossed.

"After you left, I was yelled at for about two hours." She said, making me guilty. "They were going on and on about how disrespectful and how bad of an influence you are." She informed me.

"I'm really sorry. I know your mad-" I told her, but then she interrupted me.

"I'm beyond that Eli! I know they were being assholes, but I've told you before that what my parents think means a lot to me! If my parents don't like someone- I make sure I stay away from that person. Any boy that my parents disapproved of.. I left." She told me "But Eli.. Your my only exception."

I couldn't help but smile, as did she.

"So, we're still together?" I asked, excitedly.

She nodded, and I hugged her, and lifted her off the ground.

* * *

Clare and I walked, hand in hand, down random streets.

"Now tell me how this entire thing went down." I demanded, desperately begging for details of how Clare had broke her parent's hearts.

I personally found it hilarious that Clare had finally stuck up to her controlling bitchy parents,

And it was a major plus that she stood up to them, because of me.

"Well, they were ranting about how bad of an influence and boyfriend you are. Once they mentioned how I was 'forbidden to see you ever again' I went off. I was yelling for five minutes about how it was my life and I didn't care if they liked it or not- I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted to. I then stormed out, and now I'm here." She explained.

"Badass Edwards." I replied, joking with her.

She laughed and jokingly pushed me.

"Goldsworthy, I really need to get home. I've mentally prepared myself for the huge argument that's going to occur, and I really want to get it over with."

"Alright, I'll walk you home."

* * *

After walking Clare home, I arrived at my own house.

I layed in my bed, staring at the ceiling.

My life was messy. It was unexplainable.

I had the most beautiful girlfriend- Clare Edwards

Her parents hated me.

Then there's that whole Fitz situation,

Lucky enough for me- He hadn't made any contact with me..

I'm guessing that the war's over- I could only hope.

It wasn't that I was scared of Fitz- trust me I'm **NOT** at all.

But the way it made Clare despise me, was terrible.

She hated me physically fighting and 'pranking' some one.

She thought that it made me less 'attractive', and immature.

A shorter explanation of this situation would be-

If Fitz were to mess with me, I'd fight back- But if the two of us aren't communicating, then I'd stay away from him.

I only was attempting to stay out of Fitz way, because of Clare.

I did a lot of things for Clare..

I care about her, more then words can explain.

I feel like a wimp when I talk about her though.

I have this image-

My image is that I don't care about school or any thing else, I'm a smartass, and I use girls.

Trust me- One and Two were true.

I am a smartass, and I don't care about school or any thing else..

But I do care about _some one_.

And I believe it's clearly obvious that I care about Clare.

But the 'I use girls' thing isn't true,

I've never done any thing with a girl unless I was dating her.

I would never force any thing on Clare.

I respect Clare.

More then any one in the world.


	11. Chapter 10

**eclare16** - Oooh, that's a good question- I'm not sure, maybe I will(: Thanks for reviewing.  
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**babyspongy** - Awh thank you(: It means a lot!  
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**VOTE**! - eclare16 asked me if I was going to involve KC in my story..  
I was just wondering if that was some thing you'd guys enjoy?  
If you guys would like me to involve KC in the story, or if you want me to leave him out of it  
Review and tell me!

Chapter Ten  
"My Better Half"

I couldn't seem to allow myself to fall asleep.

It was 3 AM and my mind was wandering-

with so many thoughts, so many questions.

As much as I wanted to be lost in my dreams, all I could do was get lost in the image I had in my mind.

The image? Clare Edwards

I kept imagining her face, her voice, and all the smart comments she would say.

She was all that was on my mind, day and night.

I couldn't seem to forget her, ever.

Whether or not I wanted to- I couldn't.

I had finally drifted off in to sleep,

My eyes were slowly shutting as I could feel my mind drifting off,

that was until I heard my window open.

I sat up on my bed, and intensely looked at the short figure that had entered my room.

I didn't say a word, didn't make a move.

I was frightened.

I had no idea what kind of person could come through my window at 3 AM.

I managed to let out the word-

"Hello?"

_"Eli?"_

"Clare?"

I turned on my bedroom lamp, and saw Clare standing there- scared.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, confused

Clare Edwards wasn't the one to sneak out at night..

And she hated climbing.

She sat down on my bed, next to me.

"I didn't want to be alone."

"Good reason, weirdo." I joked, she softly laughed and hit my arm. "I mean- I don't blame you for not being able to stay away from me.. I mean, common- look at me." I joked.

Clare pushed me with both her arms, and I grabbed on to her wrists.

I fell back on my bed, bringing her with me,.

She layed next to me, with her head resting on my chest.

"I never thought I'd been laying in a bed, with Eli Goldsworthy." She stated.

"Well you never thought your dreams would come true." I joked, once again.

She laughed.

"Your very egoistical tonight, Eli."

"Aren't I always?"

She softly giggled, and continued to lay in my arms.

"How many girls have you dated before me?"

Not going to lie- I've dated a lot of girls.

But none of them even compared to Clare.

"Like 8 or 10 girls." I answered.

Bad answer.

A silence took over the room,

Until Clare said-

"Did you love them?"

I thought long and hard about my answer.

I went back to each and every one of my girlfriends.

"Only two."

Clare seemed sad once she heard my answer.

"Who?"

"One of them was- Julia." I began, I had already told Clare the story of Julia and accident that had occurred.. "I really liked her. She meant a lot to me. But I took the relationship for granted.. I never thought I could lose her."

"Why'd you guys get in a fight?" Clare curiously asked.

"She was mad that I had been apparently flirting with one of her best friends.. So she asked me to meet her by the park.. Which is where I took you that one day.. We were arguing, and my temper went off- I was telling her that she wasn't worth the fight, and that I was fine with out her.. She got really pissed and rode off.. Two hours later, my cellphone rang- and it was Julia's mom. She told me Julia was in the hospital and it was bad." I explained to her.

I never talked about Julia and me.

But I trusted Clare.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"It's fine.."

I wanted to stop talking about Julia..

"Want to know who the other girl that I love is?" I asked Clare.

"Yeah."

"You." I told her. "Your the first girlfriend that I actually truly and deeply care about. I cared a lot about Julia, but I care so much for you. I love you so unbelievably much. You wouldn't even know."

Clare looked up at me, with the biggest smile on her face.

She kissed my lips once

"I've got to go." She told me. "My parents will lock me in my room for fifteen years if they find out I'm not home."

I nodded.

"Love you." I told her as she stood up from my bed.

"I love you too, Eli" She said, with a very big smile on her face.

She kissed me once more before leaving my house.

Clare Edwards..

Always doing the unpredictable.


	12. Chapter 11

**zeldaskeeper** - I did too, Thanks for reviewing(:  
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Chapter Eleven  
"Fearless"

I woke up the next morning to numerous texts from Adam.

All four of them involved how he hated being with his family, how I needed to wake up, and how he was going to kick the shit out of me if I didn't wake up.

Clearly, vacation sucked for him.

I rolled out of bed- against my wishes and got ready to leave my house.

Once I was ready, I texted Adam, and made my way to the Dot.

Once I arrived, Adam was waiting.

"What's up man?" He greeted me.

"Welcome back." I replied, sitting across from him in the booth.

"From hell?" He added, I laughed "I'm happy to be back."

"Why was it so bad?"

"We're not the closest people." Was his only answer "What'd I miss? How are you and Clare?" He asked me.

"Me and Clare are dating now.. And you missed lots of drama."

"What kind of drama?" Adam asked

"With Fitz and Bianca, and then with Clare's bitchy parents."

"Start with Fitz and Bianca." He demanded.

This was going to be a LONG conversation..

* * *

I left the Dot at 4 P.M.

I walked by myself, my hands in my pockets, looking forward.

I hated walking alone, because I always got deep in to thought.

I over analyze every little moment that happens between me and Clare.

The way she'll roll her eyes at my offensive comments.

The way she'll fight back whenever I make fun of her.

The way her eyes glisten whenever we're in deep conversation..

Every thing about her is amazing.

* * *

Once I entered my home, I layed on the couch.

**Original Plan** - Have a night to myself to sleep.

**New Plan** - Call Clare and make plans with her.

As much as I wanted to go to sleep, I wanted to see Clare more.

I called her.

"Hello." She greeted me.

"Hey Clare, what are you doing tonight?" I immediately asked.

"Nothing planned." She answered.

"Well you've got _a lot_ planned now." I flirtatiously replied

"As in?"

"Coming over to your amazing boyfriends house and hanging out." I answered.

"Alright, I guess I'll go hang out with KC." She joked.

I hated KC.

Sure- _hate_ has a strong meaning,

but so does _my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. _

"Wow Clare." Was my only response, she laughed.

"I'm kidding. What time should I be over?" She asked.

"An hour."

"Sounds good. See you then." She then hung up the phone.

I immediately began cleaning.

If Clare was ever going to believe that my parents were successful lawyers, then I definitely was going to have to fix this place up.

After forty-five minutes of cleaning, I was done.

Every thing looked perfectly clean.

I then sat down on the couch and relaxed.

I never cleaned.

Actually to be completely honest- I HATE cleaning.

But my house was a wreck, and Clare still believes that I have these wonderful clean parents..

When in all reality.. I have the total opposite.

* * *

I awaited Clare's arrival,

I couldn't help but feel excited that she was coming over.

All I wanted was to hear that doorbell ring,

My wish came true.

I sprung off the couch and made my way to to the door.

I opened it and immediately spotted Clare standing there.

"Can I come in?" She asked smirking.

"Of course." I replied, also smiling.

"We watching movies?" She asked, all though it sounded more like a suggestion.

"Sure." I answered.

..

I put a random horror movie on the TV,

Clare and I sat down on the couch, next to each other-

even though we were barely touching.

Once a frightening scene occurred, Clare jumped up and buried her head in my shoulder

"Well well, is little Ms. Edwards scared?" I mocked her,

"Only a little." She admitted, smiling.

"Here-" I began, with a smile on my face- "Let me make it better." I suggested,

laying down on the couch, putting my arms out to her- signaling for her to lay next to me.

With a smile on her face- she did as I motioned and layed down next to me, with her head resting on my chest.

We continued to watch the movie, softly playing with each other's hands.

We suddenly began to ignore the movie- and drift off in to a random "question" game.

"Favorite season?" She asked me.

"Fall." I immediately answered, I always loved fall. "Favorite color?"

"Blue." She replied "Favorite band?"

"Blink182 or Nirvana- or somewhere in that genre." I answered her, I then asked her a challenging question.. "Favorite ex-boyfriend?

Silence.

I was mostly expecting her to be thinking about it deeply.

She was about to tell her current boyfriend, who her favorite ex-boyfriend was.

This could get awkward..

"KC." She simply answered.

"Why?" I immediately responded.

"Well.. Even though KC broke my heart in the end- I still really liked him. KC was fun and he always cared about me.. I don't know, being in my first serious relationship with him was fun." She answered.

Am I jealous person?

**Clearly.**

And the fact that the girl I was in love with, was ranting on about KC, didn't make anything better.

"Remember me? Your BOYFRIEND." I sarcastically stated, reminding her that I wasn't in the mood to hear her and KC's love life.

"I answered honestly, isn't that what you wanted?" She asked, I rolled my eyes. "Eli- don't be mad. KC means NOTHING to me, and you mean EVERY THING to me." She told me.

I couldn't help but smile.

She then softly kissed my lips.

One of the most gentle, sweet, and deep kisses I've ever received.

We pulled apart, but our faces remained inches away.

I softly put my hand on her cheek, I then leaned in- as did she.

We kissed again- but this time, the kiss had much more passion and movement.

I felt as if I was getting lost in the kiss. Like nothing else mattered-

all that mattered was that I was with Clare.

We were kissing for what felt like forever, until Clare's phone vibrated.

She immediately pulled away from our kiss and sat up.

She spotted her phone on the coffee table and grabbed it.

I was curious to see who it was.

She seemed like she was lost in the text.

"Parents?" I asked.

"No." She softly answered, as she continued to stare down at her phone,

Once she began smiling, I grew even more suspicious and curious.

"Who is it then?" I asked.

"Uh- no one." She quickly answered.

I stood up from the couch, as did Clare

I wrapped my arms around her waist and then began to tickle her.

She immediately broke out in to laughter,

hearing her laugh forced me to also laugh.

She fell to the couch, as I continued to tickle her.

"ELI!" She yelled through her laughter.

"Give me the phone!" I demanded, laughing.

She had the tightest grip on the phone.

I began tickling her even harder- and she finally gave the phone up.

I stood up, with her phone in my hand.

"Now let's see who's so important" I joked, as I opened her phone.

"Eli, give it back!" She demanded- she seemed nervous..

I didn't understand why she was so protective of her phone..

Until now.

"_Let's hang out this week, I miss you so much, Clare._ From KC" I read the text message out loud.

I dropped her phone on the couch and walked to the kitchen.

I wanted to get away from her and be by myself- but she followed me.

She grabbed my arm, forcing me to turn around.

"Eli, don't be mad." She begged.

"Fine- I'll try not to be mad that my girlfriend's favorite ex-boyfriend is texting her about how much he misses her!"

"Eli! I told you that he means nothing and you mean every thing!" She yelled back

"Yeah, that's believable" I sarcastically replied, rolling my eyes.

"Eli, don't throw every thing away on one stupid text message." She told me. "I don't want to fight with you- I don't want you to be mad at me- I don't want to hangout with KC- I don't want to be with KC." She paused "I want you."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Promise me you guys won't hangout then." I demanded.

"I promise." She stated.

I put my arms around her waist, and we kissed.


	13. Chapter 12

**Princesakarlita411 **- Lol, thanks for reading and reviewing! It means a lot! (:  
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Chapter Twelve  
"Your Arm Felt Nice Wrapped  
Around My Shoulder"

Two days till our break was over.

That was unpleasant to think about.

Having to return to school wasn't a joyful thing.

School wasn't a joyful memory.

I enjoyed being able to wake up at 1, shower, call Clare, and just hangout all day.

This break just made me realize how much I am craving Summer break.

But, I know I need to make these two last days count.

I had made plans with Clare, Alli and Drew for the night.

Apparently we were going to the movies.

Movies were okay, but let's face it..

Alli and Drew were going to be continously sucking face like it's their job.

Honestly, watching people stick their tongues down one another's throats, wasn't something enjoyable.

Clare and I entered the movie theatre at 7:30 P.M. that night.

We immediately spotted Alli and Drew.

We made our way over and occupied the two seats next to them.

"Hey guys." Alli immediately greeted us.

"Hi." I simply replied, not in the exact mood to be at the movies.

Personally, I didn't like the movies.

I think paying 13 dollars to see some horrible rated-D actors attempt to make it look like their in love was stupid.

Especially since you could rent the movie for 4 dollars once it's out of the theatres..

..

We were fifteen minutes through the movie before Alli and Drew were making out.

"This is fun." Clare sarcastically whispered to me.

"I've never had more fun then this." I told her "I mean, the way that Alli and Drew are pretty much having sex right now is just.. _amazing_." I joked.

Clare bursted out in to a loud, but then quiet laughed.

"I know. I've never seen that much tongue in my life."

"And I hope to never again." I added.

Clare and I couldn't help but laugh,

"Want to ditch? I mean- it's not like they're going to notice." Clare suggested.

Finally, Saint Clare thinks of something rebellious..

I didn't reply, I just nodded my head.

I raised my eyebrows at her before I arose from my seat.

Her and I tip-toed down the other side of the isle and quietly left the theatre.

Once we were outside we bursted out in to laughter.

"She's going to go ballistic on me!" Clare yelled out as she laughed.

"Suck it up Edwards!" I jokingly demanded.

She gave me a little push, and I immediately wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her towards me.

Her body was against mine.

"I'm not in to violence." I jokingly whispered to her, still holding her close to me.

"Well you better stay away from me then." She replied with a smile.

I kissed her once.

After kissing, she took my arm and wrapped it around her neck, as we walked down the street.

We walked in silence.

Not an awkward silence.

That silence when all your doing is thinking about one another.

Where all you hear is each other breathing.

You feel as if you can almost hear what the other one is thinking.

"Eli." She stated my name, seeming as if she wanted to tell me some thing

"Clare."

"When can I meet your parents?" She asked me.

Fuck.

I never told her the truth about my parents. I was too embarrassed.

From her point of view, I had a family alike to her's.

Only if she knew the truth..

"Why do you want to meet them? They're just parents." I replied, remaining calm.

"I mean- you met mine, I just thought it'd be fun to meet yours. We've been talking and dating for a while now." She reminded me.

"I know, but look how bad meeting your parents turned out? What if my parents don't like you? Then we'll both be screwed." I attempted to make her realize that 'meeting parents' was unnecessary.

"Nevermind I guess.." She said, sighing after.

I know exactly what Clare was doing..

She wanted me to feel bad.

Honestly- I did feel bad.

But I ignored it.

After being silent for a few seconds..

"KC met my parents.. He wanted me to meet his, but his family situation was a little messed up." She told me.

Low blow.

"And I care?" I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Eli.. Tell me the truth- About every thing." She demanded.

She definitely could read my mind.

But as much as I trusted Clare, I refused to tell the truth..

I just couldn't.

"Clare- I never lied to you about anything. Parents are lawyers, is that too hard to believe?"

"No it's not. Sorry." She apologized quickly, realizing that I wasn't too happy about her thinking I was lying.

"No- I'm sorry for snapping at you. I've just been in a weird mood today." I replied,

I didn't want Clare to feel as if I was pushing her away.

I stopped walking, and held on to her hand- she stopped walking and turned to face me.

"Now- let's talk about your birthday." I stated, smiling at her.

"Oh, some one remembered my special day?" She replied, smiling

"How could I forget? Now, since it's next week- We need to plan what you want to do." I told her.

"Well, How about you surprise me." She replied.

"No, I suck at that stuff- Can't you just tell me what to do, and then act surprised?" I begged.

She laughed-

"You can think of some thing."

"Can you at least tell me what kind of gift you want?" I asked.

"No."

"Why not?" I replied quickly, she laughed at my intense reply.

"Eli- I believe that you won't screw this up." She encouraged me. "Just do some thing that you think will make me happy."

"Clare, you suck." I joked.


	14. Chapter 13

**degrassilove18** - haha thanks for reviewing! it means a lot(:  
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-Thank you guys for reviewing(: It means so much to me  
and this story. I hope you guys enjoy my writing!

Chapter Thirteen  
"I'm Only Human: Part One"

Clare and I continued to walk together.

"How are the parents?" I asked,

I loved hearing about her overly strict parents. It was hilarious.

They were so uptight and controlling.

"Eh" She answered.

"And that means?" I replied, confused with her short/non-detailed answer.

"They're all over me about dating you."

"Of course." I answered, rolling my eyes- "What'd they say?"

"Well, they started off by bringing up KC.." She told me, "They were like- _We didn't like KC but this kid is far worse_." She explained, "They were saying other stuff, but I wasn't listening. I told you that you were worth the fight, and I'm going to keep on fighting till they accept you."

I smiled.

"Alright, calm down there Rocky." I joked.

She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Sarcasm and name-calling.. I'm shocked at your verbally violent words." She joked back.

"It's either physical or verbal violence.. Which ever you'd prefer."

"I'd prefer a sweet and sensitive boy who my parents adore." She replied, smiling.

"Eh, I guess we don't always get what we wish for." I replied,

"But I got you." She responded, I kissed her forehead.

We walked silently together, we then stopped at a bench.

The same exact bench that we had once been at when we first began talking.

English Partners.

That day, where I encouraged her to ditch class and she brought me along, changed me forever.

That one day began every thing.

Sure, I wasn't Romeo.. Not the most romantic guy in the world.

But at least I try.

I try for Clare.

Clare was willing to look past my image and rude remarks and actually give me a chance. Most girls don't do that.

Luckily, I was paired up with the prettiest and most amazing girl in the world

We sat down on the bench.

"Memories." She stated, smiling.

"Yeah, going to scream at the top of your lungs again, Edwards?" I replied, bringing up the old memory of what had happened.

"Nah, are you going to chicken out of screaming at the top of your lungs again, Goldsworthy?"

"Ouch." I joked.

"What time is it?" She randomly asked me.

"Eight." I answered, glancing down at my cellphone.

Clare and I had made eye contact.

I felt like every thing around my was in slow motion, and I weighed less then air.

I took in a deep breath before leaning in,

Our lips inches away.. the intensity getting stronger and stronger-

I felt silence. No sound..

That's when our lips collided.

My arms on her lower back, her arms around my neck.

I rubbed her back with one of my hands, while I placed the other one on the side of her stomach.

Clare was gently holding my shoulders.

Once the kiss ended, we put our foreheads together.

Soon we pulled our foreheads away from one another and just sat there-

Looking at each other.

"You have pretty eyes." I told her.

"I've heard that before." She replied, slightly smiling, in a whisper tone.

I smirked,

"Clare.. You mean a lot to me." I told her. "I hope you know that."

She smiled and looked down at her shoes, that's when her phone rang.

She grabbed it from her left front pocket and immediately looked at the number.

"_Mother_." She stated, I rolled my eyes as she answered the phone.

I drifted off, not even paying attention to the mini-argument that had been occurring between Clare and her mother.

I was sick of hearing about her parents. They were always texting/calling Clare.

In my point of view, they only called her so many times because they knew she was with me.

What better way to ruin your daughter's nights with her boyfriend then to continuously call her?

Her parents were clever.. but evil.

They disliked me for insignificant reasons. Reasons that were idiotic.

My clothing, and car are the two things that got her parents to have a strong hatred towards me.

What set it off the top was my attitude.

I won't deny having an attitude, but I held my ground very well at the dinner with her parents.

They insulted me the entire night, and I didn't say a word until the very end. I figured that they'd at least accept me.

But all they want is to ruin the one important thing in my life.. The one person that can make me smile..

Their goal was to make me unhappy, and I refused to allow them to achieve that goal.

Once I noticed that Clare had hung up her cellphone, I turned my attention towards her.

"I've got to go." She stated.

Of course she did, as I said before- her parent's goal was to make me unhappy.

"Why?" I asked, curious to what her parent's had made up this time.

"They asked me what I was doing, I said I was at the movies with Alli, Drew, and you." She told me.

"And?" I asked, confused to why that would be a reason for her parents to force her to come home.

"Once the name _Eli _left my mouth.. All hell broke lose." She stated.

"What'd they say?" I asked, annoyed enough as it was.

The reason why I wanted details was unexplainable.

I knew that the more she told me about it, the more angry I would get..

But some thing in me wanted to be angry.

"They just said that they've told me numerous times that I'm not allowed to be with you.. She said that it was necessary for me to be home in less then five minutes to discuss this situation." She explained to me.

"May I walk you home at least?" I asked "They already know your with me, walking with you wouldn't do much more damage."

"Sure." She answered, seeming unsure of what she was allowing me to do.

I had a plan.

A plan that may be stupid.. Probably unnecessary too..

But at this moment.. It seemed perfect- it seemed bulletproof. I guess we'll have to wait and see.


	15. Chapter 14

**J. Shark'sGirl** - Thank you so much for reading and reviewing(:  
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-Sorry that this chapter is so short!

Chapter Fourteen  
"I'm Only Human: Part Two"

**Note to Self** - plan things out BEFORE your in front of the girl's house.

I had a basic idea on what I was going to do, but I had no idea what I was _really_ going to do.

Clare and I stood on her sidewalk, silently, just staring at each other.

"Tonight was fun." She stated, breaking the harsh silence.

"It was." I answered quietly.

"Well I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow, ." She replied, kissing me, then beginning to walk towards her door.

I did the first thing that came to my mind-

I ran past Clare and to the door. I immediately rung the doorbell.

Yes, there was a chance that her dad was going to punch me out for saying this.. but I didn't care. It needed to be said.

"ELI!" Clare yelled "What are you doing?"

"Just trust me." I demanded, as she crossed her arms over her chest

"My parents are going to ground me for the next eight years." She complained.

That's when Mrs. Edwards answered the door..

Mr. Edwards standing right behind her.

Clare was standing behind me.. while I looked her parents right in the eyes.

"Eli. I think it's time for you to go home." Clare's mother told me.

I'll go home when I want to go home..

"Listen, Mrs. and Mr. Edwards. I understand why you don't like me. My clothes, nails, attitude, my parents- every thing is messed up." I paused "But if there is one thing in my life that keeps every thing together.. It's Clare. I know that you two hate me being with Clare, and I can't change that. But all I'm asking is for you to just let me be with her. You can hate me all you want.. Just don't take her away from me." I stated.

Silence.

"Clare, come inside." Her mother quietly responded.

All the hopes that had been building up inside of me..

All the wishes that I was begging to come true..

Every thing I was thinking..

Just got crushed.

I looked down at the ground, as Clare walked past me and entered her home. Then the front door closed, and I was left there by myself.

I stood there for at least five minutes.

All by myself, silent, staring forward. I wasn't thinking of anything. All I was doing was staring at the door.

In amazement, actually. I was amazed at how I was able to pour my heart out to Mr. and Mrs. Edwards and they totally blew me off.

I expected it to be like the movies - where the parents allow their daughter to run off in to the night with her boyfriend.

But of course, with my _good_ luck, I watched my girlfriend walk in to her house, as her parents shut the door in my face.

I walked back to the movie theatres, and got in to my car.

I sat there for a minute or two, still attempting to process how idiotically rude Clare's parents were.

After doing so, I started my car and made my way home.

* * *

I woke up the next day.

**LAST** day of break. Knowing that I had school tomorrow just made my mood even worse.

After showering and doing my morning routine, I blasted As Tall As Lion's music, while laying on my bed.

I love the band As Tall As Lions, mostly because whenever I was in a bad mood and wanted to shut the world out.. there music helped.

I was a very "unique" guy as most people would call it.

The music and appearance mostly added to the image I had.

All though, people assume too quickly.

Every one thinks I'm this dark mooded guy, who is never happy and hates every thing and every one around him..

But that is extremely wrong.

I'm almost ALWAYS happy, I love mostly every one (with the exception of Fitz and Bianca).

I despise being judged.

But I refuse to change my image and attitude for people that I don't even care about.

It's not worth it.

Suddenly my doorbell rang- four times in a row, to be exact.

I kept my music on and went downstairs. Once I answered the door- Clare was standing there.

We looked each other in the eyes, lost in the moment, neither of us saying a word.

That's when Clare hugged me as tight as possible.

"What's this for?" I asked her, confused to why she had the sudden urge to hug me.

"For saying what you said last night" She answered, as she stopped hugging me- but we remained close, with our arms wrapped around each other. "It was the nicest thing a guy has ever said about me, or to my parents. It really meant a lot to me, Eli."

"I'm glad it did." I replied "I meant every single last word I said." I told her,

Clare smiled at me and kissed me passionately.

All though I may not have won the fight with her parents..

At least I won her.

"And my parents talked very good about you this morning." She told me.

Maybe I won both.

"What'd they say?"

"They said that they misjudged you and you might be the perfect influence on their daughter."

"Really?" I asked, not to sound like a loser- but I couldn't help but be excited.

She nodded and we kissed once again.


	16. Chapter 15

**peacelovedegrassi **- I'm glad you "wike" it(: Lol, thanks for reviewing(:  
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Chapter Fifteen  
"I Am Damaged At Best"

I walked in to that_ place_.

School? _More like Hell_..

Of course I was one to argue with the whole idea of school.

What was the point of it?

It was six and a half hours of sitting in classrooms.

Talking about stuff that won't make a difference to us in ten years.

Although, it did give me a chance to be with Clare.

Which was some thing I wasn't going to argue with.

As I approached my locker, I couldn't help but to see Adam putting his books in to his locker- which was located next to mine.

"Adam, whats up?" I asked, passing him and opening my locker.

"Nothing. Clare told me 'bout your girly speech you made to her parents." Adam began, Ugh.. _here we go_.. "_Clare holds my life together_" he mocked me

"Hey, it worked! Didn't it?" I asked, reminding him how my plan was extremely successful.

He shrugged, with a smirk as he closed his locker.

"Clare's birthday's Saturday. Got plans?" He asked, curiously.

Good question.

"Uhhh" I stalled, having no exact answer to give.

I wanted to do some thing special, some thing that would show her how much I cared.

But was there really any thing that I could think of? No.

I had stayed up for most of the night- thinking of what to get her, or looking at things online.

It was like there was no gift possible, nothing I could think of.

Nothing that would _really_ make her happy.

"Better think fast." Adam told me. "You want to impress her, right?"

"Of course."

"Then do some thing unique, some thing that she wouldn't expect you to do."

"Any ideas?" I asked. Adam was a clever guy, I was hoping he could help me.

"Dinner?" He suggested.

"That's too typical - too common. I thought I was supposed to do some thing _unique_?" I rejected his idea.

"Alright man, just trying to help." He defended himself, I smirked.

"I'll think of some thing." I replied, assuring him that I had some thing up my sleeve..

In all reality- I had no plans, no ideas, no help.

I was screwed.

...

I walked down the halls, by myself.

There was still about 40 minutes until first period started.

I had not talked to Clare this morning, so I didn't really have any idea of where she was.

This gave me time to think. Time to brainstorm about her gift.

I needed to buy her some thing special.. Some thing unique..

As I continued to brainstorm, I was suddenly interrupted.

I had noticed Clare walking down the hall with a boy..

As I watched the two walk together, I suddenly discovered who the boy was..

KC.

Of course, out of all guys to be walking down the hall with _MY_ girl.. It had to be KC.

Sort of ironic, huh? I had recently asked her not to make contact with him, but of course- there she is..

Laughing, smiling, joking, talking...

I approached the two, and they stopped walking.

"Hey Eli." Clare awkwardly greeted me.

Her face turned red, which meant she was either embarrassed or nervous. She was most likely nervous.

"Hey Clare." I replied "KC." I awkwardly added his name after waiting a few seconds.

"Eli." He replied, looking at me as if I was a maniac.

I could tell that he still wanted her, he still thought about her.

**It made me sick**.

"Uh Clare, I'll see you during first period." He told her, breaking the tension.

Once Clare nodded and smiled at him, he walked away.

"Awkward." I murmured once he was gone. "Why were you with him?" I asked.

"We bumped in to each other. His lockers right across from mine, it was going to happen sooner or later." She explained.

Don't play innocent.

"I'm sure that's exactly what happened." I sarcastically responded.

"Eli, don't. Please." She begged, as I looked in to her eyes- I knew I had to obey her demands.

"Fine." I replied, rolling my eyes. She smiled. "I never want to fight with a girl like you." I told her.

She smiled at me, "Love not war." She replied.

I raised my eyebrows and kissed her.

"Couldn't agree more."

* * *

Second Period. English.

I walked in to the classroom, and sat in my regular seat.

Once Clare arrived, I smiled at her. She sat behind me, and I turned to face her.

"How's your day so far?" I asked her, she smiled.

"Very good." She answered.

"And why is that?"

"Science was extremely easy. All we did was started a group assignment." She told me "But I can't hang out for long today. I know I said I would, but I have to go to my partner's house to begin the project." She explained to me.

Of course, she would bail on our plans. But I wasn't in the mood to fight, so I kept myself calm.

"Who's your partner?" I asked, not like I cared- just out of curiosity.

"Uh no one.. I'm working alone."

Liar.

"Then why are you _'going to your partner's house'_?" I asked.

I knew she was lying, I just needed her to admit it.

"I uh, I forgot that I was working alone." She continued her lie.

"Clare." I replied, rolling my eyes. "Just tell me."

"KC is my partner." She spit it out.

Fuck. My. Life.

"What!" I yelled at her.

"Eli. Don't get worked up about us being partners. It means nothing." Clare defended herself.

"I hope KC's house is fun." I sarcastically replied, before facing the front of the classroom- attempting to ignore Clare.

"Eli! He's the only one in my Science class that talks to me! It was him or Jenna."

"Jenna would have been a far better choice." I rudely replied.

That's when the teacher entered the room, and the bell rang.

Clare sat back in her seat, as I continued staring forward.

I had every right to be pissed, right? This was unfair and cruel.

She knew how much I disliked KC, and the fact that she put my feelings aside was annoying.


	17. Chapter 16

**Princesakarlita411** - Eli is very hott! Hahah, Thanks for reviewing(:  
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Chapter Sixteen  
"Where Do I Stand?"

End of English Class.

I had ignored Clare all period, and I was happy with it. I had every right to be mad.

I had every right to want to punch KC's face in.

"Alright. We only have about two more minutes in class, so we'll just discuss your homework." The teacher announced.

Every one sighed.

To put it plain and simple- Homework sucked.

"Now let's calm down, It's not a hard assignment. It's due Friday, so you have all week to work on it." She told us. "You must choose a feeling- like love, hate, angry, and so on.. And you must write about that feeling. It should be typed, about a page. For example- if you were to write about being mad, you could write about how you feel when your mad, or you could tell a story. I really want emotions in your papers. I'm not asking for you to be like _'I'm mad when my mom yells at me' _- I want there to be extreme emotion expressed." The bell then rang and every one sprung out of their seats.

As I grabbed all my books, Clare stood next to my desk.

"Eli." She quietly stated my name.

I rolled my eyes.

"What?" I asked, as though I planned to be on _"non speaking terms" _with her, I decided that a little conversation wouldn't hurt.

"Are you really mad at me?" She asked.

I shrugged.

As much as I wanted to say yes.. I couldn't.

Looking in to her big blue shiny beautiful eyes was just mesmerizing..

I couldn't be mad at her..

Even if I tried.

"No." I answered, letting out a deep breath. "I'm jealous.. not mad."

She smiled, and I couldn't help but do the same.

"Good. Although there's nothing to be jealous of.. I'm glad your not mad."

"Me too." I replied with a smile.

* * *

I walked out of school after my last class, I immediately spotted Clare and KC laughing and talking.

As much as I wanted to punch his face in so hard.. I stopped myself.

My anger issues were a big deal and I was attempting to change that.

Plus, if I kicked the shit out of KC- Clare wouldn't be too happy..

As I approached the two, I felt my jealousy burning hotter and hotter.

Clearly I was jealous- my girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend were talking and laughing together.

"Clare, need a ride home?" I asked, interrupting the conversation.

"No it's okay, KC's driving me to his house." She answered, acting as if it was nothing.

Ouch.

Of course KC was driving her..

I had no response, what was I supposed to say?

I just nodded, feeling defeated..

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow." I responded.

"Well, do you want to hang out tonight?" She asked me, I didn't want her pity plans..

But I couldn't pass up hanging out with Clare.

"Sure.. just text me." I replied, before walking away.

* * *

That night,

As I sat in my room, isolated from the world, I awaited Clare's text.

I wanted her to call me and explain to me how annoying she thought KC was,

I wanted to hear her go on and on about how much she hated him.. I wanted her to tell me she still loved me.

Suddenly, my phone rang. She was calling me, hopefully to discuss her hatred towards her Science partner.

"Clare?" I picked up the phone, greeting her,

"Hey Eli!" She replied, sounding happy, as I heard KC laughing in the backround. "Sorry. I can't hangout tonight. After we began our project, we got carried away and ended up going mini golfing!" She explained, as I could hear the happiness in her voice. "I'll call you when I get home though and we can talk."

I didn't bother responding, I just hung up the phone.

I was beyond pissed. I was extremely angry.

I had every right to be..

Later that night, I found myself waiting for Clare's call.

All though I knew she wasn't going to call, I still waited.

* * *

Next day,

As I predicted, I didn't receive a call that night.

I guess it was pretty predictable. She was with KC, it's not like she wanted to rush home and call me.

This was Clare's first time that she honestly pissed me off.

Sure, there were plenty of times where we fought and almost hated each other..

But this was the first time ever that she really hurt me.

The first time I ever felt betrayed and it hurt..

More then you could imagine.

As I closed my locker that morning, I noticed Clare walking towards me- with a smile.

I love how she attempts to act innocent.. Like every things alright.

"Good morning Mr. Goldsworthy, how are you this beautiful sunny morning?" She asked me.

Extremely happy for being up at 8 AM..

Suspicious? I think so..

I rolled my eyes and remained silent.

"Whats the matter?" She asked, as her mood dropped from Happy to Insecure/Concerned.

"A few things bother me right now actually.." I answered with attitude, as I continued to shuffle things in my locker.

"Like?" She asked, confused.

I immediately turned to face her and looked her right in the eyes.

"Maybe the fact that I have no homework done, because I stayed up all night waiting for MY girlfriend's call, while she was out playing mini-golf with her fucking ex-boyfriend." I snapped. "Sorry for not being sunshine happy this morning like you."

"Eli, it's not a big deal."

"Maybe to you it isn't, but it is to me." I told her

"Why? It was a friend thing- KC and I are just friends."

"Clare! I specifically asked you to stay away from him! You promised you would, and now you guys are best fucking friends!"

"Once we're done with this Science project, all communication will be dropped.. I swear."

"Sure, that's believable. I've heard your stupid promises before."

"Eli, please.. My birthday's this Saturday." She reminded me "I just want to have a good week."

She would pull the birthday card..

"Fine." I replied, rolling my eyes..

I hated giving in, but I always do..


	18. Chapter 17

**Princesakarlita411** - Haaha, he does(: Thanks for reading and reviewing. (:  
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Chapter Seventeen  
"I'm Falling To Pieces"

It was already Thursday and I still had no plans for Clare's birthday.

In the simplest terms.. I was screwed.

As much as I wanted to impress her, and win her back from KC.. it was a difficult task.

I knew KC was planning some thing, some thing that he believed would "win her back" , but I had to prevent that from happening.

I needed to think of some thing that was unique.. some thing that she wouldn't expect from me.

Some thing romantic.

I wasn't a romantic guy, I'll admit that.

But I was willing to forget my dark humor, sarcastic statements and jealousy for one day.

At the end of the day, Clare approached me at my locker. For once this week.. she wasn't with KC.

I smiled at her and was extremely happy. Finally, I had her all to myself.

"What's up?" I asked, grabbing my back pack from my locker.

"Nothing Eli. You seem exceptionally happy after how upset you were this morning." She commented.

"Well what can I say, I'm just too cool to be sad." I joked with her, she rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Your not too cool for anything, trust me."

"Ouch Edwards, some one wants to get their ass kicked? I can have that arranged.. Trust me." I joked back, flirtatiously.

As I leaned in towards her, we were about to kiss-

"Clare!" I heard a familiar male voice,

Why is it that I seem to know EXACTLY who it is before I even see him?

Clare and I put our heads up and turned towards the guy.

KC.

"Sorry. Hope I'm not interrupting, but we need to hurry up and get to my house. Our project is not even close to being finished and it's due Friday." He reminded Clare,

Of course they needed to '_rush to KC's_' house.

I'm not surprised that he wanted her away from me. The more time he spent with her..

The less time she spent with me.

"Oh okay, sorry Eli. I'll be sure to call you tonight, I won't forget this time." She promised me.

All lies. Soon to be broken promises.

I nodded, She smiled at me and softly kissed my lips- she then ran off with KC.

I watched the two walk away together. I was annoyed.

* * *

I sat at home that night,

I wasn't expecting a call from Clare, but once the clock struck 8:30, Clare called me.

I looked down at the caller ID and couldn't help but smile. Finally.

"Hey Clare." I greeted her, happily.

"Hey Eli, I just got home. Want to meet up?" She asked me.

That was the one question I was begging for her to ask me. All I wanted was some time with Clare.

Just with me and her.

"Of course, where?"

"Come pick me up and we'll go to the Dot." She suggested, but it was more like a demand.

"Alright." I hung up the phone and instantly smiled.

She had picked me over KC. That meant a lot. More then any one will ever understand.

As I entered Morty, I turned my music on and began driving.

Once I pulled up to Clare's, she immediately came running out of her front door.

She then proceeded to enter the passenger seat, and immediately gave me a big bright beautiful smile.

Without even saying a word to me, she leaned in and kissed me.

"What was that for?" I asked her once she pulled away.

"For being the best." She answered.

Good answer.

I smiled and began driving towards the Dot.

Once I parked, we got out and entered the Dot and proceeded to sit in a booth.

"How was KC's?" I asked, out of curiosity.

I was begging for an answer that involved how much she hated KC..

but that seemed to be the total opposite of her answer.

"It was really fun." She answered. I rolled my eyes "No, not like that." She defended her previous answer. "He's a good FRIEND, not boyfriend material."

I nodded, and as much as I didn't want to, I accepted her answer.

"Finish your project?" I asked.

"Yes 'sir, so no more hanging out with KC... Like I promised."

"Good." I murmured, but she heard me.

"Why do you hate him so much?" She asked me.

Right after finishing her question, guess who approached us..

This isn't too hard to answer. It's pretty obvious.

KC just happened to be at the Dot and just happened to come talk to us.

"Hey Clare" He greeted her.

Asshole.

"Hey KC." She replied, awkwardly.

"Can I sit?" KC asked.

Was this a joke? No you can't fucking sit.

"Sure." Clare answered.

This was unbelievable.

KC then proceeded to sit next to Clare.

"So KC, what brings you here?" Clare asked.

He probably stalked us.

"Bianca and Fitz invited me here. But I'd much rather sit with you." He replied to Clare's question as they looked at each other.

I had finally had enough. As much as I've been controlling myself for the past four days, I couldn't do it anymore.

I don't care if what I was about to say made me look like an asshole or immature, I didn't give a fuck.

"Alright, listen KC. Clare is my fucking girlfriend, you picked one of her friends over her. You lost your fucking chance with her. Now, how about you leave us alone and stop attempting to win her back - it's pointless." I snapped.

"I'm not trying to steal your girlfriend." He defended himself.

"Bullshit. You've been all over her since school started." I replied.

"Are you mad because I had her first? Or because she would rather have me then you?" He asked me.

Was he fucking out of his mind?

I rolled my eyes and exited the Dot before I did some thing stupid.

Clare followed me.

"Eli! Wait up!" She begged as she attempted to walk as fast as I was.

I suddenly stopped walking and turned to face her.

"Clare, get him the fuck away from me! I'm sick and tired of this bullshit. You have to have my back in there!" I yelled at her.

"What are you talking about Eli? I always have your back." She replied. She seemed scared, but at the time I was too mad to care.

"No Clare, you don't! You allow all these guys to flirt with you, like KC and Fitz. And I always put my ass on the line to try and win you back from them! Your too nice to these guys and they always try to steal you from me! I'm sick of getting in fights with these guys for you! It gets old pretty fast." I snapped.

"Eli! I would never leave you for any of those guys. I love you."

"Well you don't act like it! You went to a dance with Fitz, and have gone to KC's house every day this week!" I reminded her.

"Eli! I went to the dance with Fitz to protect you!"

"How did you protect me Clare! He almost fucking stabbed me!" I reminded her "Thanks for that great protection" I sarcastically replied.

She rolled her eyes.

"Eli, please-" She begged, but I interrupted her -

"I'm done, Clare. I'm done!" I yelled before storming off.

* * *

Later that night,

I was in disbelief.. I couldn't believe what I had done.

As the fight played over and over in my head, I couldn't help but feel like I had made the worst decision of my life.

I had broken up with Clare, for the stupidest reason.

The words_ 'I'm done, Clare. I'm done!' _were all that I could hear echo through out my head.

I could still remember her facial expression when I screamed those words. She looked heartbroken.

Although she had been hurting me lately.. I crossed the line.

I crushed every thing we have, just because of KC. I let KC win..

He wanted us to break up.. And I let that happen..

Worst part about it is.. **It's all my fault.**

* * *

I woke up the next morning a 7:30 AM,

I had fallen asleep at 6 AM.

I hadn't sleeped too much, because whenever I'd close my eyes I'd see Clare's face.

I got up and brushed my teeth, I then changed my clothes and got ready to leave for school.

I walked downstairs and spotted my mother, passed out on the couch.

It was the first time I have seen her in a week. I guess that's what happens when your mother doesn't care too much about you.

It sucked, but I always tried to keep my home life off my mind.. and the way I did that was spending more time with Clare.

But now that me and Clare are done.. I don't know what I'll do.

I sighed as I looked at her, I put a blanket on her, and then walked out the door.

As I proceeded to enter Morty, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness.

I turned on the song "Breakeven" by the Script. All though, I usually wasn't in to this kind of music.. that song described how I felt at the moment..

_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?_

That line especially described how I felt.. Without Clare, I'm nothing.

I parked in the Degrassi parking lot and entered the school.

May I add- I look like an honest mess. You could see how tired I was in my face.

As I stood by my locker, Adam approached me.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you last night?" He asked, referring to how tired I looked.

I gave him an annoyed glare and rolled my eyes.

"Clare and I broke up." I simply stated.

"You what?" He exclaimed "What happened?" Adam then asked, demanding answers.

"We got in to a fight over KC, and I lost my temper and ended things." I honestly answered "In simpler terms.. I fucked up."

"Yeah you did, Eli. What are you going to do?" He asked me.

I didn't have an answer to that question..

"Nothing, I guess. I screwed up- that's the end of it. I don't deserve Clare."

* * *

I had managed to make it through first period, but now was second period.

And second period.. was English.

I entered the classroom and sat down in my usual seat.

Suddenly, a few seconds after I entered the classroom, Clare entered.

I couldn't help but stare at her as she walked and sat in her usual seat- which was right behind mine.

I let out a deep breath as the bell rang, and our teacher entered the room and gave us all a bright smile.

Of course she's happy, every ones happy besides me..

"Alright class, I'm guessing every one finished their writing assignments?" She asked,

I had finished mine.. Even though it was the worst writing I had ever written.

But you can't blame me.. I wrote it at 2 AM this morning.

Every one nodded, but remained silent.

"Alright. Who wants to read theirs to the class?" No one raised their hands "You get five extra credit points"

With that being said, at least 10 people shot their hands up.

I would of volunteered, if I hadn't written the worst paper ever.

"Clare. How about you go first?" She asked.

Of course. Now I was forced to stare at her and regret every word I had said the night before.

Clare nodded and then walked up to the front of the class.

She stood there nervously.

She looked down at her paper, she seemed more nervous then usual.

"For this assignment, I decided to write a poem." She told the teacher.

"Very creative, good idea. What's the poem called?" The teacher asked

"Jealousy."

Fuck.

_"You say your not jealous,_  
_that you don't mind at all_  
_But once you see me with him,_  
_This relationship begins to fall_

_ You acted as if you actually cared,_  
_That you really did love me_  
_But you stand there with a blank stare,_  
_As you let your words run free_

_ "I'm done!" Those words crawl out of your mouth_  
_You walk away from every thing_  
_Pretend it's not a big deal, you didn't hurt me_  
_But inside, I can't help but feel a sudden sting_

_ I believed in your lies,_  
_The ones you always seemed to tell_  
_"I'm not jealous, I love you"_  
_Those words were ones to sell_

_Though I messed up, believed your stupid lies_  
_I don't blame myself this time_  
_For I didn't let this relationship fail_  
_I didn't commit the crime._

_You claimed you weren't jealous_  
_I believed in every thing we had_  
_But in the end of every thing,_  
_You're the one who's mad"_

Clare stated her poem.

I was in shock.

* * *

**- I wrote the poem myself, and that's why it sucks so bad! lmfao. Sorry, I just wrote it myself so I wouldn't have to take one off the internet. Hope you guys don't mind!**

**-And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be mad about this chapter. Just understand that every story needs drama!  
But no worries, you guys need to trust me on this one! I won't screw it up! Lol.  
**


	19. Chapter 18

**Princesakarlita411** - Hahah, Thanks for reviewing! (:  
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-I hope you guys aren't mad at me :(

Chapter Eighteen  
"I've Been Afraid of Changing, Because  
I've Built My Life Around You"

Once Clare finished the poem, she looked up at the class. She looked directly at me.

We made eye contact for a minute, before she walked back to her seat.

"That was very good Clare." The teacher commented, breaking the tension she knew was growing between the two of us.

For the rest of class, I couldn't even turn to face Clare. I couldn't even speak.

It was like I was overwhelmed, shocked.. **concerned**.

I didn't know that I had hurt her so bad. I guess that I never had realized that I wasn't the only one unable to fall asleep last night..

I didn't realize that I had actually hurt her.. more then I had hurt myself.

I also didn't realize how my "insecurities" broke the two of us down.

At the end of class- the bell rang, and I just sat there.

Clare picked her bag up and walked passed me. I begged and begged for her to look back at me.

Once she reached the door.. She did.

"Bye Eli." She said, before walking away.

I tilted my head back and let out a deep breath. I actually lost her.. For real this time.

I entered the hall way and began walking. Suddenly, I was interrupted- by the one and only.. Alli.

"I knew I shouldn't of trusted you." She stated.

It's funny that you actually think that I really care about what you think..

"Shut up Alli." I simply stated, as I kept on walking.

"Why'd you do that to her?" She asked, stepping in front of me and forcing me to stop walking.

She was demanding answers that I didn't know.

"'Cuz I was mad, Alli. And why is this any of your business, anyway?" I replied with attitude.

"Eli. I'm sorry if I'm being mean.. but Clare's birthday is tomorrow." She informed me.

"Thanks for the update.." I sarcastically responded.

Alli rolled her eyes and walked away.

She acted as if I cared about what she thought of the situation. Clare and I were the ones in the fucked up situation.. not Alli.

As I walked those crowded halls.. I couldn't help but feel isolated from the world. I even felt invisible.

With out having Clare on my side.. I realized how unimportant I was. No one even looked at me.

It was like I wasn't good enough for people to take notice to me. I never realized how unsocial I was..

How alone I was.. How much I didn't belong. I hated this feeling.

But whenever I had a feeling as terrible as this.. I talked to one specific person.

The one person who always listened. The one person who was always there for me.

Julia.

I walked out of the front doors of Degrassi. It was lunchtime anyway, so it didn't matter if I skipped lunch.

I entered Morty and began to drive. Once I pulled up to the cemetery, I let out a deep breath.

I loved, but also hated being here.

I loved it because whenever I was talking to Julia, I could feel her presence. She knew I was there, and I knew she was there.

On the other side, I hated it because it reminded me of the love I lost.. Julia was the one person I wanted back, more then anything.

I entered the cemetery and walked up the hill. Once I reached the top, I approached Julia's grave.

I sat down in front of it, and looked at all the beautiful flowers and candles surrounding it.

Julia had so many friends, and such a loving family. Her friends always came here, they invited me- but I disliked coming here with other people. I felt like it was more special if I had alone time with Julia.

"Julia." I stated her name, I felt tears coming to my eyes. "I love you and miss you so much. You wouldn't believe it." I felt the tears rushing down my face. "Your probably laughing at me right now." I stated, smirking a bit.

I paused, and became serious once again.

"I hope your not mad at me.. for the last night we spent together. I'll regret that night for the rest of my life. I just want you back. I'm screwing up my life so bad right now, and I know your probably disappointed in the choices I've made recently." I paused. "My life's been messed up lately, I've been messed up lately.." I added- "I hope you like Clare, I know I do. Even though I screwed the relationship up.. I still love her. I know you would definitely of loved her too... But always remember, you were the first girl I ever loved."

For the next half hour, I sat there in front of Julia's grave.

In silence.

* * *

I arrived back to Degrassi, still 10 minutes left of lunch. I made good timing.

I sat in my car, looking straight forward. I looked at myself in the mirror- my face was all red from the crying.

So I made the decision to stay in my car,

if Fitz were to see me and notice that I had been crying, it would of been non-stop jokes and him making fun of me..

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my window, I turned to see Clare.

I rolled the window down-

"What?" I asked, not in the mood to argue or talk about any thing.

"Where were you?" She asked, looking at me with a concerned facial expression.

"I was at the cemetery." I answered. All though I was planning on lying, I wasn't in the mood to make up some lame excuse.

She looked down, not knowing how to reply to that.

"Can I come in?" She asked, breaking the silence. I nodded in approval.

She then made her way around the car, and entered the passenger's seat.

"How are you?" She asked me.

"Terrible." I honestly answered.

She nodded, understanding why I was in such a bad mood.

"I just wanted to tell you that we can still be friends. I know things ended quickly and unpredictably, and I know that it was only yesterday that this all went down.. But I want to still see you and be able to say hello instead of totally ignoring each other." She explained "All though, I don't think we can be close friends now.. It's too hard." She added.

I nodded and opened my mouth to say some thing.

"I've got to go." She stated, opening the car door and stepping out. before closing the door, she looked at me- "See you around, Eli." With that, she walked away.

I rested my head on the steering wheel. This day couldn't get any worse.

No way could I have ever predicted that this was going to happen. That I was going to be in complete misery.

That all of this was going to be my fault..

* * *

As I layed in my bed that night, I began thinking of ways to fix my life.

I could find a new girl and occupy my time with her- That sounded like a good idea, but NO ONE could ever replace Clare..

Just forget about Clare and move on with my life? Not going to happen.

Win Clare back? .. Now that was some thing I would love to do.

The clock read 11:56 A.M., which meant that Clare's birthday was in four minutes.

I have four minutes to drive to Clare's house.


	20. Chapter 19

**Princesakarlita411** - You'll have to read this chapter to find out(: Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot.  
**marleyismyhoney** - Awwh(: Thank you so much. It means sooo much(:  
**MadameCeeCee** - Awh, I'm glad you like my story! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing.  
**DegrassiFan894332 **- I'm glad you did(: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Awwwwh(: Thank you so so so much! Also thank you for reading and reviewing! It means so much.  
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**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Awwwwwwwwwh, I'm sorry for making you cry :( Thanks for reading and reviewing though! It means a lot.  
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**sassy selena** - Awh I'm sorry that you cried :( Thank you for reading and reviewing though!

Chapter Nineteen  
"Living In A Teenage Dream"

As I pulled up to Clare's house, I couldn't help but have second thoughts.

As much as I was nervous about attempting to win her back.. I knew that I had to do it, it was necessary. Winning her back meant the most to me.

As I watched the clock, waiting for it to turn from 11:59 to 12:00.

That minute felt like 1,000 years. Once I saw the clock change- I jumped out of my car and ran by Clare's bedroom window.

I surprisingly was able to find a way to climb all the way up to her bedroom window,

All though I did receive a few cuts on my hands..

Once I reached Clare's window, I opened it and climbed inside.

"Eli?" She stated my name, she seemed to be in total confusement- as she sat up from her bed and pulled the blankets off of her.

Nice PJ's.

"Clare." I stated her name.. I probably should of planned out what I was going to say before hand..

"What are you doing here?" She asked me, wanting answers. She stood up from the bed,

I walked towards her until we were close.

"Happy birthday." I stated. She smiled.

"You came all the way here, at midnight, to climb the side of my house and tell me happy birthday?" She asked, smirking, I nodded. "That's believable." She jokingly/sarcastically added.

I couldn't help but chuckle, as she smiled.

"Why are you really here?" She asked.

"Well.. It's your birthday. I promised that you'd have a good day." I answered.

"And how is this making my day any better?" She replied, with a smile on her face.

"Ouch Edwards." I replied, making her giggle "Well I thought I could make every thing about today special."

"And how would you do that?"

In that moment, I kissed her.

I ended the kiss, and put my forehead against her's.

Our hands held on to one anothers.

"I've been waiting for that.." She quietly told me.

"I've been _wanting_ that."

She smirked,

"But Eli, I'm scared of this.. of every thing." She admitted, as she moved her forehead away from mine and looked me in the eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"You ended things.. so fast, so unexpectedly. Am I really that easy to give up?" She asked.

"No- Clare. Listen, I have a bad temper-" I began to answer her question- until she interrupted me.

"And that's the problem!" She told me. "I can't be scared of what's going to happen next. I can't be with some one who is going to change their mind over the littlest things."

"Can't you just accept all of my stupid flaws?"

"No Eli, I can't.."

Of course you can't.. I don't understand how you want me to change for you.. but you won't even change for me.

"Eli, you have to realize that I was in complete shock when you broke up with me. It was so random- so stupid." She told me.

"It was an _'in the moment' _thing!" I defended myself.

"Well how many_ 'in the moment'_ things are you going to have?" She immediately yelled back.

I let out a deep breath.

"Clare. It was a one time thing. It'll never happen again. I'm not going to break your heart." I told her. "I promise."

She nodded and looked down at the ground. I then took her chin, with two of my fingers, and lifted her chin up.

She looked up at me, with her eyes shining-

"Hey birthday girl.. Be happy." I demanded, once she smiled- I couldn't help but smile.

"Why is it then when I want to kick you out of my house.. you find a way to make me want to kiss you?" She asked.

I smiled and pulled her in closer to me.

"I'm just irresistible." I joked with her, she softly laughed- and then I kissed her.

Once the kiss ended, I layed down on her bed.

She rolled her eyes- but remained smiling.

"My parents are going to be home at 3. I'm going to get in so much trouble!" She yelled at me, as she sat down on the bed.

"Hey.. It's 12." I reminded her, "Just relax and lay down."

She did as I asked, and layed down next to me. Her head was rested on my arm, as we looked in to each other's eyes.

"You have pretty eyes." I told her, it made me remember the first time we ever met.

"I've heard that pick up line before." She smarted off, smiling at the end.

"Well how about this one- I think your gorgeous, even if you have no makeup on." I complimented her.

She smiled.

"Too bad I look like the biggest mess right now." She replied, denying my comment.

"Not at all." I told her "You look like the most beautiful girl in the world."


	21. Chapter 20

**DegrassiFan894332** - Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**im. an. eclare225 **- I wish Eli would say Happy Birthday to me too! Mines in January though :( Lol, thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Awh, I'm glad it made you smile(: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**degrassilove18** - (: Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot to me!  
**marleyismyhoney **- Awwwwwh(: Thank you so much. I'm glad you like it! Thank you for reading and reviewing(:  
**EliandClare414** - Don't worry, this story isn't going to end anytime soon(: And the reason why I enjoy fanfiction a lot is because you get to twist and change the storylines to how you want them. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! (:  
**mcflyXlove** - Hahaha, Eli is quite the smooth talker! Haha. Thank you for reading and reviewing. It means a lot(:  
**EveryoneLovesEclares **- Awwh, I'm glad you do(: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Hahah, thank you for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me(:  
**MadameCeeCee** - (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!  
**sassy selena **- I'm happy that it was a good cry! Hahah. Thank you for reading and reviewing! (:  
**Emsy **- I wish I had a guy like Eli too! Haha. Awwh, I'm so glad that you like my story! I really do try to make it my own, and create storylines that aren't usually in the show. And I always like writing about character's birthdays! Lol, thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me!

Chapter Twenty  
"I Don't Want This Moment To Ever End"

As Clare and I layed next to each other, I couldn't help but fall for her even more.

I know that I'm young, and "inexperienced" when it comes to love..

But I can't help but believe that right now, I'm experiencing it.

_It's perfect_

"Eli." She whispered my name, I could tell she was drifting off- and getting ready to fall asleep.

"Yes Clare?" I replied, as I softly ran my fingers through her curly hair.

"My parents are fighting a lot lately." She informed me. I'm guessing that she's looking for support.

"Is it bad?" I asked.

"Yeah." She softly answered.

Clare got very hurt when her parent's would fight. She was very sensitive about the topic, and got concerned easily.

I felt bad for her. Her parents put her through a lot.

"Did they tell you any thing about splitting?" I asked.

"My mom mentioned it, but never officially told me."

"Clare. I know that it sounds dramatic and scary.. But I went through the exact same thing-"

"Wait.. I thought your parents were successful lawyers, who were still married?" She asked me, confused.

Fuck.

Maybe I should of told her..

"Uh- yeah. I uhm.." I babbled on, using random words. I then let out a deep breath, attempting to come up with an answer- some thing to say.. a way to explain myself.

"Eli. I won't be mad.. Just tell me." She assured me.

Well..

She was going to find out sooner or later..

"My parents split up." I told her. "My dad never talks to me anymore.. My mom's never home- and when she is- she's passed out, drunk, on the couch. I haven't had a conversation with my mom since I was about eleven." I told her. "I pretty much live alone."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." I told her "I'm used to it."

"I'm here for you." She told me. "Forever."

I smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm the luckiest guy ever."

"Got that right." She said,

"Mmm, some one's a little egoistical on their special day." I replied.

She smiled and rolled her eyes,

"I try to be."

I smiled and also rolled my eyes; after doing so- I began to close my eyes.

A nap sounded nice- it was definitely appropriate for a guy who had rushed over to a girls house, and climbed the side of her house at 12 AM.

As I felt my self drifting off- I took notice to Clare, who had already fallen asleep.

I decided to do the same.

* * *

I woke up..

As I flickered my eyes opened, I looked next to me and noticed that Clare was still fast asleep.

I took my arm out from under her, and reached in my pocket for my phone.

As I opened my phone, I immediately noticed the time.

3:04 AM.. Clare's parents were going to arrive home any minute.

Suddenly, I heard the front door open

I began to panic, and shook Clare's shoulder- forcing her to wake up.

"What?" She moaned, refusing to fully wake up.

"Your parents are home!" I whispered- her eyes shot open and she sat up from the bed.

"Get out then!" She demanded, whispering

I nodded and kissed her lips-

I then proceeded to slowly and quietly make my way to the window, as I opened it- I glanced back at her.

"See you bright and early, birthday girl." I told her, she smiled- and I then began to climb out the window.

Getting down.. was going to be A LOT harder then getting up..

* * *

I woke up the next morning, 10 AM. I had set an alarm on my phone, so I'd wake up early and be able to create the perfect day for Clare.

As I examined the cuts on my hands, from all the climbing, I couldn't help but laugh.

I then got up, and changed. After doing so, I called Clare.

"Hello there." She greeted me, sounding exceptionally happy.

"Hello birthday girl, There's a rumor going around.." I informed her.

"And what would this vicious rumor be?"

"That you want to hang out with Eli Goldsworthy?" I replied

"False." She stated, I heard her giggle after.

"_Ha ha_, very funny Clare." I replied, acting as if I was angry. "I'm coming to get you in ten minutes." I informed her.

"Ten minutes?" She asked, sounding as if she needed more time.

"Better be ready." I then hung up, I gave her no time to argue- I didn't allow her to suggest a later time.

I wasted the next ten minutes- getting ready and making sure I had her special gift.

I then entered Morty and began to drive. The time read- 10:20 AM.

Earliest I've ever woken up on a Saturday..

I was one to stay up extremely late, and sleep in late. I guess my sleeping schedule was a little fucked up.

But I'm a teenager.. Am I supposed to care?

I pulled up in front of Clare's house and decided to send her a text message.

"Here." was all I said.

Suddenly, Clare came walking out of her house- She looked beautiful, as always.

A huge smile spread across my face. Clare smiled and looked down at her feet, nervously, as she walked.

Soon, she reached my car, and entered the passenger's seat.

"Well, some one looks mighty fine today." I told her. She smiled and playfully rolled her eyes

"Smooth talkin' Eli Goldsworthy - some one's a mighty fine suck up today."

"What can I say, I'm just too good." I jokingly replied, she giggled and I smiled at her happiness.

"So- where are we going?" She curiously asked.

"Everywhere." I mysteriously replied- as I began to drive.

From the corner of her eye, I noticed her continuously glancing at me. She seemed nervous/happy.

As I pulled up to our destination, I got out of the car, and came around to the passenger's side.

I then opened her door, and she exited the car. She smiled at me, as I closed her car door for her.

"So, what's this place?" She asked, as she looked at an empty field.

The field was ginormous, but all empty.. it had grass, and trees all the way in the back.

It also was in a very isolated neighborhood. We were practically all alone.

"This is the best place in the world." I told her. "The train tracks are cool.. but this place is the best."

"And why is that?" She asked, as we slowly walked on the opened field.

"I've had so many memories here,_ good and bad_."

"Like what ones?" She asked.

"This is the place where I met Julia." I began reminiscing. "I had my first physical fight here, my first kiss, first time I ever got arrested by the cops was here" I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered all the crazy things that had occurred here.

"Arrested?" She asked, surprised. "For what?"

"For drinking underage and because I had fought this boy, who was being an asshole to Julia." I explained, I chuckled- "It was the first week of me and Julia's relationship- and we were here, there was like fifty kids here, because it was a small party. Well I was a bit tipsy, when Julia approached me and informed me that some douche bag was hitting on her and trying to touch her. And me, being a dumb ass, went over there and punched him. The fight got out of hand and the police came. Even though it sucked at the time.. It's one of the best memories."

Clare laughed.

"First physical fight?" She asked.

"Well.. I was 15, and it was the first day I ever met Julia.." I told her. "I had taken notice to her and her boyfriend arguing, and how Julia had mentioned how the two should just break up and be done with each other." I explained "This jackass boyfriend of hers began seeming like he was a little too mad, and looked like he was going to snap. So, I went over there and stood between the two and told the guy to back up.. He punched me in the face, and I clearly fought back. I went home with a bloody lip, and nose. My cheek and ribs were so bruised, and Julia felt so bad. She began eating lunch with me and all my old friends. That's when we clicked."

Clare smiled and looked down.

"I'm so sorry." She told me.

"Don't be." I replied. I didn't want to discuss old memories and things/people that I could never get back... So I changed the subject. "So, Birthday Girl.. Are you ready?" I playfully asked.

"For what?" She asked, brightly smiling.

"For lunch?" I replied.

She looked confused, as I pointed to a folded up blanket and picnic basket that was laying on the ground across the field.

I had asked Adam to set this up.. But she doesn't need to know that.

She smiled and began to blush, She then bit her bottom lip. I held on to her hand as we approached the food and blanket.

I then layed the blanket out and the two of us sat on top of it.

"For lunch, we only have your favorites.." I told her, as I grabbed the picnic basket. "To prove that I listen to every word you say.. I decided to cook all of your favorite foods.."

"Hmmm, I have faith that you completely screwed this up." She replied, smiling. She loved messing with me.

Ouch, Saint Clare.

"Wait and see.." I murmured. "Here, we have-" I began, as I started to take stuff out of the basket- "For the main course- Bow-tie spaghetti, with carrots on the side and for dessert- vanilla sundaes, with strawberries mixed in, and chocolate fudge on the top."

She smiled, and seemed amazed- even surprised.

I smiled- "See.. I don't suck THAT bad."

"I'm impressed." She told me.

"I'm good at impressing you, aren't I?" I replied, as I made her plate of food- I then handed it to her.

"I'm not going to lie-" She began "Your unpredictable.. In a good way."

I smiled at her and looked down.

Clare was the only girl in the entire world that could make my cheeks turn red..

She was the only girl that could make me smile continuously - being unable to control it.

...

We had the best conversation while we ate our meals, we were continuously laughing and talking about stupid and non-important topics.

Once we finished our food we stuck it in the basket and pushed the basket aside, we then remained sitting on the blanket.

"So Clare, did you hear the morning announcements yesterday at school?" I asked her.

"Yes I did." She claimed. "What about them?"

"There's a school dance, in two weeks." I told her.

"And you want to ask some one super cool?" She jokingly replied, knowing that I wanted to ask her.

I decided that messing with her could be fun..

"Yeah. Can you text Alli and ask her to go with me?"

Clare smiled and rolled her eyes, she then pushed me.

"Ouch, _violence_! Whatever happened to violence not being the answer?" I replied, jokingly, reminding her of her Saint ways.

"Sorry.. It's just that I'm getting so old that I'm beginning to forget things." She joked back, she then stood up and pushed me once more.

I also stood up and she began running from me.

As I chased her around the field - it only took me a about 20 seconds to catch up to her.

Once I was right behind her, I wrapped my arms around her - which caused her to stop running.

I then picked her up, off the ground, and spinned in circles. She was continuously laughing at the top of her lungs.

After spinning her for ten seconds, I let her down, but kept my arms wrapped around her waist- as I remained standing behind her.

"Scared?" I whispered in to her ear.

"Not the littlest bit." She replied, her voice full of confidence.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

I kissed her cheek, and turned her around to face me.

"I have a gift for you." I told her.

A smile immediately spread across her face, as she looked excited- like a little kid.

"And what gift would that be?" She asked.

"This one.." I replied, as I reached in my pockets- digging in them, in search for her gift.

I then pulled out a jewelry box, her eyes lit up immediately.

I handed her the box, and gave her one of my famous half smiles.

"Happy birthday." I said softly.

She then slowly opened the box.

Her mouth dropped and formed in to a huge smile.

"Eli!" She yelled "It's beautiful!" She added- as she took the 150 dollar necklace, I had bought for her, out of the box.

It was a silver necklace, that had a tiny heart- which had engraved "Forever & Always"

I took the necklace from her hands, and had her turn around- so I could put it on her.

Once it was on - she turned around to face me. Her smile was the biggest it's ever been.

"Your the best." She stated, before hugging me tightly.

"I love you, Clare."

"I love you too."


	22. Chapter 21

-So, this is extremely random- but I'm IN LOVE with the song "A Little Bit" by Madi Diaz.  
I had originally heard it on Degrassi, and decided to look it up. I strongly suggest listening to it (:  
Oh, and I read Aislinn Paul's (Clares) twitter, and she suggest listening to the song  
"Chasing Pavements" by Adele- and it's realllly good(:

**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!  
**zeldaskeeper** - Hahha, I'm glad you love it(: Thanks for reading and reviewing! It means a lot  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Awwh, (: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reviewing! (:  
**Its. Sarah. FoSho** - Haha, Awh(: I'm glad it did! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me(:  
**sassy selena** - I would LOVE a boy like Eli! Haha, and I thought the necklace would be a cute gift. (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me. (:  
**EliandClare414** - Awwwh(: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot.  
**DegrassiFan894332** - Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot! (:  
**peacelovedegrassi **- Ahaha, no worries, I'm not mad! Lol. Thank you for reading and reviewing(:  
**mcflyXlove** - It would be the best birthday ever! Hahaah, thanks so much for reviewing! It means a lot(:  
**Aww **- Hahaha, Thanks for reviewing! (:

Chapter Twenty One  
"Never Stayed In Love So Long"

After running around and acting like little kids for a half hour- we decided to go back to the blanket and sit down.

She seemed like she was in the mood to talk, more like a deep conversation instead of a silly one.

"Eli." She began "Can you tell me stuff?" She asked.

"Like what?" I replied - I've told her plenty, how much more could she want to know?

"Personal stuff."

"Like..?" I replied, asking for more detail.

"Why did all your past relationships end?"

The one question that I dreaded answering.

"Well.." I began "Things were never.. _right_."

"What do you mean?"

"For example - my first girlfriend, Ellie.." I began "We seemed like we were perfect for each other. She was in to my type of music, dressed in all black a lot - our names were even alike. She had light blonde long hair, that was beautiful. I liked her.. but I never felt that real connection. After dating for three and a half months- it just ended." I explained "But don't think that I give up easily.. I don't. I'm always the one to fight to keep the relationship going. But if I honest to God believe that the relationship is going no where- then I'll end it." I paused "Simple as that."

"What about our relationship?" She asked, as I watched her grow nervous- Her face showed that she regretted asking that question

"It's going some where.." I replied, I saw her softly smile, as her nervous and regretful facial expression calmed down. "For sure."

* * *

It was 3 PM, and I was taking Clare back to her house.

"You have two and a half hours before I pick you up again. And this time I'm taking you out to eat- some where_ fancy._" I assured her, as I raised my eyebrows and smiled.

I had made plans at this expensive and fancy restaurant.

Where was I getting all this money? My dad knew how messed up my mom was, so he sent over 50 dollars a week.

I had been saving up my money for about a year now.. I guess wasting it all on some one special is worth it.

"So what should I wear?" She asked.

"Some thing nice." I replied, she smiled and rolled her eyes.

"I'm coming in sweatpants then." She responded, joking. "See you at 5:30." She replied, kissing me- and then exiting the car.

I then began to drive towards the cemetery.

I thought seeing and talking to Julia would be a good idea. I always wanted to make sure that Julia knew that I still loved her.

As I made my way up the cemetery hill, I noticed that some one else was already sitting in front of Julia's grave.

As I walked closer, I noticed it was Julia's mother.

I sat down next to her, catching her a little off guard.

"Eli." She said my name softly, "I haven't seen you in the longest time." She added, before hugging me.

"I know. I've always wanted to drop by and say hello, but I didn't know if it was appropriate or not."

"No, no Eli. We would love to see you more. Julia loved you more then any thing in the world." She told me. "She would go on and on about how great of a date you two had that night- she would always doodle your name in all of her notebooks." She softly laughed, as did I. "Julia would continuously bring you up.. She really really loved you, Eli. I'm glad that her last few months of her life were spent with some one that she loved."

"She was great, Mrs. Williams." I replied. "I wish I could go back in time."

"We all wish that, Eli." Mrs. Williams began "But since we can't - we just have to remember that Julia's sitting right here with us.. She's always here."

"I know that." I replied "What are you guys doing.. for uhm, next Thursday?" I nervously asked.

"It's going to be hard." Mrs. William's began to explain- "Celebrating her birthday, without her, for the first time... It's going to be _really_ hard." She told me "We're mostly going to spend the day here- probably get here at 12 AM and stay till 4 and then go out to eat. If you'd like, you can join us." Her mother said with a smile.

Mrs. Williams was the sweetest mother I had ever met. She had the biggest heart.

"I would love to join you guys."

She smiled at me- "Good. We'd love to have you there."

I smiled back, and then the two of us sat in silence as we stared at Julia's grave.

I miss her more then any thing.

* * *

I had gotten home from the cemetery at 5 o'clock, so I only had thirty minutes to get ready.

I got in the shower, brushed my teeth, and got changed.

I was wearing black dress up pants, and a black dress up shirt.

Once I had finished doing all of these tasks- it was already 5:25, so I entered Morty and made my way to the Edward's home.

Once I pulled up, with out texting her - Clare walked out of the front door.

I was shocked.. She looked more beautiful then ever.

Her hair was how it usually is, in curls. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress, and low, black, high heels.

She looked amazing.

As she got closer to my car, I exited the car and stood before her.

"Yes?" She asked confused to why I had gotten out of the car.

"I love you." I told her, she instantly smiled.

"I love you too Eli."

* * *

We pulled up to the restaurant, and I got out of the car- went to the passenger's side and opened the door for her.

She smiled, and exited the car, I closed her car door and we walked to the restaurant doors and entered.

"Goldsworthy, table for two." I stated to the waiter.

"Right this way." He stated as he grabbed two menus and guided us through the restaurant to one of the booths.

The restaurant was very fancy and well put together

Once we sat down -

"How's your birthday so far?" I asked her, out of curiosity.

"Amazing." She told me. "Parent's are getting along for once in a long time.. and your making a lot of things even better then they were before."

"I'm glad for all of that. I hope your birthday is honestly amazing. You deserve it, Clare."

She smiled, and blushed.

* * *

We finished eating around 7 PM, and we decided to take a walk.

As we exited the restaurant, I took notice to how cold Clare became.

"Cold?" I asked, smirking- she looked at me, confused at first, but then caught on.

"Yeah, the day you decide NOT to bring a jacket, is the day I need it the most." She answered, smiling.

"I did it on purpose. I knew you'd be cold, so I decided not to bring a jacket.. My life depends on making hour's miserable." I joked with her, she rolled her eyes, and chuckled- she then proceeded to give me a little shove.

"Eli Eli, you have got to stop messing with me." She demanded with a smile.

"And what will you do if I don't?" I replied, expecting her usual clever- but some times offensive response.

"I'll have to take Morty out for a test drive." She responded- referring to how bad of a driver she was.

"If you touch Morty- no if you even _LOOK_ at Morty.. Shit will go down." I warned her,

"I'm so scared!" She sarcastically replied. "Like you even have the guts or muscles to beat me up."

"Oh, now your in trouble!" I replied, as I wrapped my arms around her waist and picked her up- she immediately began laughing hysterically and screaming.

As I held her up, I spun her around continuously-

And then I stopped- as she stopped laughing.

But I continued to hold her up.

We kissed and then I put her back down.

"Eli Goldsworthy- I'll admit it.. you win." She stated.

"Don't I always?"


	23. Chapter 22

**mcflyXlove** - Hahaha, thanks for reviewing(: It means soooo much to me.  
**No Name** - I'm listening to A Little Bit right now! (: Haha, thanks so much for reading and reviewing.  
**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thank you for reading and reviewing  
**DegrassiFan894332 **- Thank you for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me and this story. (:  
**peacelovedegrassi **- Hahahha, it's okay- just use whatever words come to mind! Lmao; thank you so much for reading and reviewing!  
**daretodream94 **- Hahha, I wish that too! (: Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot to me.  
**xXIBeLiEvEXx** - Hahaha, awh thank you(:  
**zeldaskeeper** - Well, you do have to understand that he was dating her when she passed away - but I understand what you mean(: Thank you for reading and reviewing!(:  
**sassy selena** - Hahah, i love your reviews! Don't worry! Hahaha. Eli is quite the gentleman some times(: Awwwh thank you so much, I'm glad you like it(: Thanks for the review, and for reading my story! (:  
**vampirelovr333 **- Awh thank you so so much(:

**-**Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry for not updating,  
I've been sooo busy lately. I'm failing Science,  
and I had a dance yesterday, so I had to get  
every thing ready for that. So I'm really sorry.  
And I hope you guys aren't mad! (:

Chapter Twenty Two  
"I Won't Let This Go"

Monday quickly came -

I'm so_ excited _for school!_ - _Only if you could hear the SARCASM in my voice..

I rolled out of bed - with the alarm clock blasting some radio station.

I rolled my eyes- I guess you could say I wasn't a 'morning person'.

I showered and changed - I then grabbed my back pack and entered Morty.

I drove to Degrassi,

Once I arrived - I exited my car and entered school..

I immediately went to my locker and sat on the ground- my back leaning against the lockers.

I took out all my unfinished homework - I only have 30 minutes before school started, and I needed to finish two assignments.

May I add one of them was Math and the other was Science.. two of my worst subjects.

Well let's face it.. I wasn't the smartest guy in the world- It's not like I had the brain of Clare Edwards.

I was only good at English, to be honest.

When it came to every other subject.. I sucked.

I guess falling asleep in class and continuously making sarcastic remarks didn't help my grades either..

But I honestly don't give a fuck.

Life's too short to care about the _little_ things.

* * *

English Class.

Favorite period of the day.

I sat down, and Clare arrived only a few seconds after I did.

She sat down, next to me, with a huge smile on her face.

"What'd you do yesterday?" She asked me.

"Just slept at home- I was more tired then you'd think." I answered her. "And how was your Sunday?"

"Well I spent the entire day with my parents. We made an agreement that since you got me for my entire birthday - they got me the day after." She explained.

Sucks for you..

"Psh, sounds like a great time." I sarcastically replied- She rolled her eyes

"Their not all _that _bad." She defended her parents, all though I could tell she was lying.. Her parents definitely were_ that _bad.

"Yeah. Okay Clare." I replied, again- sarcastically.

She smiled and shook her head-referring to no.

I smiled and faced the front of the class.

* * *

After School -

I pulled up to my house, parked Morty, and immediately took notice to my father's car, which was parked right in front of my house.

I hated when my parents were together. It was all hell breaking loose.

I hesitated to enter my house- but knew I had to do it sooner or later.

Later would of been much better..

As I walked in- I immediately walked in to chaos.

"This is my house! You have no right to be here!" My mother yelled at the top of her lungs.

"I don't care where I have the right to be! I want my son with me! You are no where near a good parent!" He argued.

"Don't I get a say in this!" I yelled out, making them acknowledge that I was present.

"Eli - This is a discussion between your mother and I." My dad turned to me, saying this in a very rude voice.

"No it's a fucking argument about where our son lives!" My mother argued.

Of course.. right when my life is all put together.. these two come to ruin it.

"Listen- Eli can come live with me. I only live an hour away." My dad put an offer on the table.

No. Way. In. Hell.

"And what about school?" My mother responded.

"There's a private school, just a few blocks down from my house-" He began, but I quickly interrupted

"DAD!" I yelled "Are you kidding me right now?" I complained.

"Eli, your mother is never home. It's not a suitable environment for you." My dad explained.

Bullshit.

"I don't give a fuck. I have a girlfriend, I'm finally happy. You can't take that all away from me." I replied.

"Eli. This is a high school girlfriend- you two aren't going to be together forever."

"I don't care what you think, dad! I'm not moving." I stated. I wanted to make sure he knew that I was happy where I was.

"We'll see about that."


	24. Chapter 23

**Princesakarlita411 **- I know. :( Thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
**DegrassiFan894332** - (: Thank you so much for reviewing my story. It means a lot.  
**daretodream94 **- Hahaha, you'll have to wait and read(: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me! (:  
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**marleyismyhoney** - Awwh(: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Hahaha! I know, I can't wait to see Eli in his uniform. He's going to look sooo cute! (: Hahah. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story. It means a lot to me! (:  
**sassy selena** - Hahah, I'm glad the lines made you laugh! (: And I'm glad that you like this story. (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me and this story.

Chapter Twenty Three  
"I Can't Breathe Without You"

My world seemed to be crumbling right in front of me.

I had finally gotten every thing together. Clare was happy, Fitz and I hadn't communicated in what felt like forever, and I wasn't totally failing every single class I was in.

I should've prepared myself for the down fall. My life has never been perfect.

For example - Julia and I were practically in love.. Then, we got in to the tiniest fight- and in that moment, when I told her I never wanted to see her again.. she left me.. And that was the last time I ever saw her. It was harsh. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

Losing Julia, was the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

But I finally made progress.

I was out of my house, chasing after this beautiful girl. And I was finally happy.

I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror, with out feeling ashamed.

I was finally able to stop imagining how it would be if Julia was still here.

Clare cured my hurt. She fixed the broken heart that seemed to be unfixable.

She made me in to the old Eli I used to be, and helped me overcome all of my stupid decisions.

Clare made me who I was.

If I was forced to leave her.. Who I am would slowly fade away.

I'd go back to the old Eli, who hated every thing and every one.

The one who sat in his bedroom, night after night, blasting sad songs..

Trying to hide himself from the harsh reality of the real world, and the people who were in it.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to go live with my dad.

As much as I didn't want to.. My dad always got what he wanted, and if he wanted me to go move with him.. that's what was going to happen.

The worst part of this entire situation-.. would be telling Clare.

* * *

Tuesday.

I walked in to Degrassi and made my way towards my locker.

Right when I turned the hall, I saw Clare- standing by my locker.

"Hey Clare." I greeted her, with a smirk on my face.

"Eli." She replied, smiling.

"What's up?" I asked, she usually didn't wait by my locker- so this must of been a_ 'special' _occasion.

"Nothing really," She answered "Where were you last night, you didn't answer any of my calls." She asked, seemed a little concerned but hid it easily.

"Oh, I uhm- I was helping my mom clean."

Lie.

Yeah, I wasn't the best at lying- but I was usually better then_ that_.

The only reason I was lying was because I wasn't in the mood to tell her that I might be leaving her.

"Oh." She replied, suspiciously.

Clare was smarter then I thought some times.

She had the ability to see right through my lies..

I nodded, and had no idea how to break the awkward tension that seemed to be getting worse and worse by the moment.

I finally thought of a new subject to begin-

"So, the dance is in less then two weeks." I brought up.

"I know." She replied, smiling. I did the same.

"You going with KC?" I replied, joking.

"Yeah." She played along. "Your going with Jenna?"

"How'd you know?" I joked, she laughed and I did too. "But on a serious note.. Want to go to the dance with me?" I asked.

She smiled, and nodded - "I'd love to."

* * *

I entered my house, and dreaded the thought of hearing my mother's voice.

And of course in that moment..

I heard my mother's voice.

"Eli, sweetie. Can you come here?" She yelled out, in a sweet tone, from the family room.

Great.. Whenever she talks in a 'sensitive' voice, it means she has some thing to tell me.. Some thing that usually isn't too good..

I rolled my eyes and sighed as I put my backpack down and made my way to the family room.

"What mom?" I asked.

"Come sit down." She demanded, patting the spot next to her on the couch.

I did as she asked, and sat down next to her. She seemed nervous.

"Eli, sweetie.. I'm really sorry." She began to apologize. "But in two weeks, your moving in with your father."

Fuck. My. Life.

"WHAT?" I screamed, at the top of my lungs.

"Sweetie, listen please. You need to understand that I'm not a good mother, and he's a better parent then I am."

"Mom, please. Fight for me - do some thing!" I begged.

"Eli, there's nothing I can do." She informed me.

I felt my stomach twisting and turning.

"Mom! I'm going to the dance with Clare in two Saturdays!" I explained, attempting to find a way out of this.

"That's fine, Eli. Your moving the day after- on Sunday."

"That's not_ fine_, mom!" I argued. I felt like punching her right in the face.

"Eli. Please." She begged for my patience, which I refused to give her. "I know that moving is going to be tough.. But there's nothing else I can do for you.. Your moving."

Those words felt like a bullet.

* * *

10 PM that night..

I layed in my bed, imagining life with out Clare. It would feel like Hell.

And I said it right before - I didn't want to be with Clare, because some thing bad was going to happen between us- like some thing bad happened between me and Julia.

And look at us now.. I'm about to leave her- alone..

_In other news.._

There was a good and bad thing about tomorrow.

**Good thing **- Since I wasn't going to school, I didn't have to see Clare and blurt out what's going on.

**Bad Thing **- I was missing school because tomorrow is Julia's birthday..

I honestly dreaded tomorrow. To be honest, I was scared.

I was scared of celebrating Julia's birthday without her. I wanted to see her.

I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her I love her.

I'm in love with Clare- more then I was in love with Julia..

But people need to understand that I was dating Julia.. I was the last person to hear Julia's voice.

I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get to tell her I love her..

I didn't get to kiss her one last time.

I would do anything to go back to that night and just show her that she means the world to me.

I would do anything to stop her from riding off on her bike. I would honestly do _anything_.


	25. Chapter 24

**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thanks for the review and for reading my story. It means a lot to me(:  
**DegrassiFan894332 **- I plan on it(: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**daretodream94** - Awwh, Thank you so much for reviewing and reading this story. (:  
**clareandeliforever **- Haha, awh- don't worry, I'll update as much as I can- so that all of your questions will be answered! (: Haha, thanks for the review and for reading this story.  
**EliandClare414** - Hahaha lmao, well I do control this story, BUT you'll have to wait and read(: Ahaha, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me and this story! (:  
**im. an. eclare225** - Haha, thanks for the review and for reading my story(:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - You'll have to wait and read! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to the story and to me! (:  
**mcflyXlove** - Awwwh. Thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
**xXIBeLiEvEXx** - Awh thank you so much(: It really does mean a lot to me! (:  
**vampirelovr333** - Hahaha, I'm really bad at science! Haha, Thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
**Madame Degrassi **- Awwwwwh(: Thank you so so so much. It means so much to me! (:

**-**I really wanted to write this chapter, because recently one of my friends passed away.  
It's the hardest thing to go through, and I really wanted to express that in my writing.  
So this chapter is dedicated to my friend. I love you and miss you more then anything. :(

**-PS-** I just noticed that I made a mistake! I originally said that Julia's birthday was  
going to be on Thursday, but I accidentally forgot- and changed it to Wednesday. I  
hope you guys don't mind!

Chapter Twenty Four  
"There's Some One I've Been Missing.."

I don't think that people realize how fast and short life can be.

You have the world in your hands- and the very next day, it can all end.

I guess I never came to realize this until I lost some one.

I used to let words slip out of my mouth so easily.

I used to believe in saying mean things to hurt others..

But now that I know how things can change so quickly.. I've realized how precious time and words are.

The way you express yourself to others is so important.

You should always show them how much you love, care, and need them.

It's a mad world.. But as humans- we all need to learn how to fix it.

* * *

Wednesday - 6:30 AM

I opened my eyes, and felt like it was unreal that I was awake this early.

I wasn't able to sleep.

I felt like throwing up. I felt like crying. I felt like hell.

I **miss** her. More then anyone could ever understand.

I **need** her. More then anyone will ever know.

I can't even express how much I want her back.

I rolled out of bed and hopped in to the shower.

I always liked taking showers when I was thinking of Julia- because I felt like it cleansed my body of all the guilt.

It made me feel like I was cleaning off all the heartbreak.

Once I got out of the shower- I changed in to sweatpants and a t-shirt.

I then proceeded to lay down on my bed- and began blasting my ipod.

I had the song "Come Home" by One Republic playing.

"_Hello world, hope you're listening_  
_Forgive me if I'm young or speaking out of turn_  
_But there's some one I've been missing_  
_And I think that they could be the better half of me"_

Once I heard those lyrics, I couldn't help but cry.

Whenever this song came on- I'd immediately think of Julia and begin crying.

I've only cried over one person in my life- and that was Julia.

I usually never cried. I always dealt with my sadness and hurt with violence and drinking.

But when it came to Julia.. It was a different story.

Whenever I thought of her, I broke down. I felt my entire world closing in on me.

I remember the first four weeks after she died..

I was a wreck.

I stayed in my room - blasting sad songs. I was so angry that I had thrown my cell phone at the wall and broken it. I refused to talk to anyone.

My mother ended up sending me to counseling because I was so depressed.

I guess I could understand where she was coming from..

I'm the only kid that still lives with her, and to see me so low and unhappy must of hurt her.

But I still feel like she should of given me space.

For the first month, I kept going to Julia's grave.

Every single day- I'd spend at least three hours at the cemetery. In silence - just sitting there.

I guess that I had this dream that she'd come back if I showed her how much I needed her.

Sadly, my dream never came true. But I still believe that she's here.

Even if I can't see her.. She's here.

* * *

The clock reached 12 PM and I knew that I had to begin to leave to meet the William's at the cemetery.

I was wearing black dress up pants, and a black dress up t-shirt.

I had twelve red roses to leave at Julia's grave. I also had written her a letter.

As I entered Morty, I suddenly got a text- from Clare.

_"Hey Eli. I just wanted you to know that I love you and I hope you have a good time with the William's. I'll see you tomorrow."_

I didn't bother responding, I really wasn't in the mood to.

Once I parked my car in front of the cemetery - I got butterflies.

I spotted Mr. and Mrs. Williams standing at the top of the hill.

I put my head on the steering wheel and fought back the tears.

After sitting there for a few minutes- I got out of the car and made my way up the hill.

I soon approached the Williams.

"Eli" Her mother said, turning around once she heard me- she had a smile on her face once she saw me- "I'm so glad that you're here." She told me as she hugged me.

"Eli. It's great that you're here." Mr. William's added- shaking my hand.

"I'm glad to be here sir."

We then proceeded to sit down in front of Julia's grave.

Her mother put two "Happy Birthday" balloons next to her grave.

Her father then layed a bouquet of flowers on her grave.

Finally, I layed my roses and note on her grave.

My note read -

_Dear Julia,_  
_Happy birthday beautiful. I wish you were here to enjoy it. I know that you're here with us- even if I can't see you.. I know your here. I really wish I could go back in time and change every thing. I really wish I could see you once more. Every time I look up to the sky- I see your face. Some thing in me knows that your always here with me. Whenever I feel like I'm about to break down- I can feel your presence. I love you more then any thing. And I hope you know that. I miss you more then anything. I'll never forget you. Forever remembered. _  
_-I love you, Forever and Always._  
_Eli Goldsworthy._

As we sat there in silence.. I couldn't help but continue to think deep in thought.

Every single day.. I should've told you how beautiful you were..

I should've told you how much I loved you..

I should've done so much more then I did.

* * *

For the next three hours- the three of us sat there.

Mostly in silence, all though there was the occasional conversations that'd we have about Julia.

All the funny memories we discussed made me miss her even more.

Once the clock turned to 3:30, we decided to go out to eat.

* * *

The dinner was long- but enjoyable.

We reminisced about funny memories we all had shared with Julia.

Her parents had to be the nicest parents to ever walk the earth. Much better then _my parents,_ to be honest.


	26. Chapter 25

**daretodream94** - Awh thank you(: It really does mean a lot to me. Thank you for reviewing.  
**Madame Degrassi** - Awwwh, I'm so happy that my story 'melts your heart' (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me and this story.  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Hahha, thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**clareandeliforever **- Awwh, sorry for making you cry :( And haha, you have to wait and read! (: - And she was young. It was a very unexpected loss. And thank you for cheering me up(: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me.  
**EliandClare414** - Awwh, thank you(: and also thank you for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me.  
**XxBlaHbLAhBlaHxX** - You'll have to read and find out(: Thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
**vampirelovr333** - Hahah, don't worry- this chapter involves a lot of EClare(: Thanks for reading and reviewing(:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Haha, awwh! Just keep on thinking! (: Hahah, thanks for the review and for reading my story! (:  
**MadameCeeCee **- Hah I'll try to. And don't feel bad, it's fine. Don't worry. Thanks for reading and reviewing.  
**understandingcritic** - Awwh, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I know it's a hard thing to go through, but you just got to keep trying - one step at a time.

Chapter Twenty Five  
"It's A Good Day"

The next morning,

I was feeling really good about today - from the moment I woke up.

I got all my bottled up emotions and sadness about Julia out yesterday- and was ready to focus my life and mind on other things and other people..

Like Clare.

As I entered Morty, I immediately drove to the Edward's home.

As I pulled up in front, I called Clare.

"Eli?" She answered the phone, sounding like she had been caught off guard.

"I'm driving you to school today." I told her "I'm outside - let's go Edwards."

She hung up the phone, and I couldn't help but smile.

I could imagine her rushing to get ready and attempting to make sure she looked good.

But to be honest.. I ALWAYS thought she looked beautiful - whether she was in an expensive dress or a pair of sweatpants.

She was always gorgeous.

Suddenly, Clare came walking out of her front door.

She had a bright smile on her face, as she approached Morty.

I smiled back at her, and soon- she was entering the passenger's seat.

I'll say it once again - she, as always, looked beautiful.

"What's the special occasion?" She asked me - wondering why I would randomly pick her up when I never had before.

"Well.. I've been focusing a lot of my attention on Julia and stuff.. And I just wanted you to know that your number one and I love you more then I've ever loved any one." I explained to her - I watched her face turn a bright pink and her lips formed in the most perfect smile. "And I had a good idea for today.."

"And what is this _Goldsworthy_ plan?" She asked me.

"Ditch."

"School?" She asked in confusement.

What else would we be ditching?

"Yeah." I answered

"And do what?" She asked, seeming to dislike my master plan.

"Anything." I answered - The expression on her face seemed to express how she did not want to go.. "Alright Saint Clare, can't you just be bad, _for once_?" I replied - Attempting to persuade her in to agreeing to ditch school with me.

Her jaw dropped as I could tell she was offended.

I couldn't help but do my half-smirk as I watched her attempt to think of a good comeback.

"I've done plenty of outrageously bad things!" She argued.

Yeah, _sure_..

"Psh, like disobey your parents? Your _so bad_." I sarcastically replied- I knew that if I kept on pushing her, she'd eventually give in.

"Fine. Let's ditch."

And there we go..

She gave in.

If Clare ever heard some one doubting her - she'd always prove them wrong.

As we drove- I turned on one of my radio stations.

Number one rule of my car - I played MY music, no one elses.

I hated girly and over-played radio songs.

I refused to allow anyone to pick the radio station or CD that I played.

But I glanced at Clare and saw how annoyed the music made her..

And of course.. Like always.. I gave in.

"Pick the station." I told her.

"Huh?" She replied, seeming to be caught off guard.

"Pick the radio station - before I change my mind."

I saw a smile grow on her face, as I could tell that this happened to make her happy.

She began searching for a radio station- I was regretting my decision already..

Suddenly, she stopped at a song. I immediately attempted to discover what song it was.. But I had no idea.

"And what's this?" I asked, as I continued to drive. She looked at me and smirked.

"Chasing Pavements by Adele"

"You would be one to listen to one of these _girly_ songs." I teased her- I couldn't help but smile once I said this.

I saw her jaw drop- as she thought of an insult to throw back at me.

"Well, my music happens to be a lot better then your music."

"How so?" I asked, very curious to how she was going to insult my taste in music.

"Well, Your music is just a bunch of guys screaming, at the top of their lungs, random words that no one can ever understand." She insulted me.

"Ouch!" I yelled out. "Well at least my music has meaning- other then your annoying, bubbly, non-talented singers who have other people write their songs for them."

Her jaw dropped- and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I glanced over at her and noticed that she had no idea how to insult me back.

"What's the matter Clare? Feeling _defeated_?" I mocked her.

I saw her dropped-jaw form in to a smile.

"Eli Goldsworthy.. You have a lot to learn."

"Clare Edwards.." I then paused "_Teach me_." I flirtatiously replied.

I saw her smile and blush as she looked out the window.

I pulled up in front of my house, and looked at Clare-

"Why are we here?" She asked me.

"Mom isn't home. So why wouldn't we be here?" I replied, with a smirk on my face.

"Are you sure we won't get caught?" She asked, nervously.

"Trust me." I stated as I exited the car.

Clare followed me up to the front door, I opened it and the two of us entered.

"What do you want to do?" I asked her, as I closed the door.

"Uhm.. We should watch a movie." She answered.

I nodded and actually happened to agree with her.

But I think that she had a _different_ type of movie in mind..

"I think a horror movie would definitely be necessary." I replied.

Funny thing about Clare - she HATES scary movies.

"Uhm.." She replied nervously.

"I'll go pick one out." I intentionally interrupted her, as I walked in to the living room.

Clare eventually followed.

"You know, Eli- a movie might not be the greatest idea after all-" She nervously told me.

I ignored her comment and turned around- holding a movie in my hand.

"What movie is that?" She nervously asked-

I could tell by the sound of her voice and the expression on her face that she dreaded watching this movie. But watching a movie was _HER_ idea.

"Halloween 1, the new version." I told her.

She nervously stared at the DVD box. I couldn't help but laugh.

I then proceeded to put the movie in the DVD player. I then turned the lights off and sat down on the couch.

"Going to join me, Edwards?" I asked- as I watched her stand there.

"Of course." She quietly answered as she began walking towards the couch.

She sat next to me.

Sure, I felt bad for making her almost piss her pants when the movie hasn't even started yet..

BUT all guys know the secret to scary movies..

All girls tend to jump in to a guy's arm WHENEVER some thing scary happens..

And of course, once again- the 'secret to scary movies' payed off..

After watching the movie for only 20 minutes, Clare was already hiding her face in my chest.

"Eli. Please please turn it off." She begged me.

"And what do I get if I do?" I asked- tricking her in to a certain answer.

"Anything you want!" She answered.

I laughed

"_Anything_?" I replied- helping her catch on to what she had just said.

She picked her head off from my chest and rolled her eyes.

"Eli." She stated my name- in an unhappy tone.

I chuckled and surrendered.

"Fine!" I replied, as I walked over to the TV and turned it off.

I walked back over, and stood in front of the couch- While Clare continued to sit.

"Your an evil guy, Eli." She told me.

"I try." I replied, messing with her- like always.

She smiled and rolled her eyes.

I then grabbed on to her hands, and helped her stand up.

"Where are we going, now?" She asked.

"Upstairs." I answered.

I could see the confusion and hesitation in her facial expression, but like always- I ignored it and continued to do what I had planned.

I made my way up the stairs and Clare followed.

Once we reached the upstairs, I opened my bedroom room and Clare entered.

"Your room's _clean_.." She sarcastically stated, as she observed all the dirty clothes all over the ground.

"My maids on break." I joked back.

She then walked over to my desk and I saw her face light up.

She picked up a framed picture of the two of us.

"Like it?" I asked, coming up behind her.

She nodded and smiled.

"Love it."


	27. Chapter 26

**DegrassiFan894332 **- Awh thank you so much for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me.  
**daretodream94**- Hahahah! I'm glad that it made you 'aww' (: Hahaa, thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
**im. an. eclare225 **- I LOVEEE the original Halloween. I just thought people were going to think it was weird of me to use the original one. Haha. But Yeah, the original Halloween was the first scary movie I ever saw. (: Thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me and this story!  
**laraa christine**- Haha, ahh sorrry! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
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**Madame Degrassi10**- Awh, thank you so much for reading and reviewing(:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl**- I did use it because Aislinn tweeted it(: But I also do love the song! And I totally agree, Halloween (the original) is ten times better then the remake. But I wanted to keep my story "up to date" hahaha. But Halloween, the original, is my favorite scary movie of all time. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
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-THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS(:  
It means sooo much to me and this story. (:

-Oh and I just began listening to the song - "Still Around" by 3Oh!3  
And I'd definitely suggest listening to it- it's adorable(:

Chapter Twenty Six  
"One Last Look At My Baby  
While She's Still Around"

I layed on my bed, and Clare looked at me - and crossed her arms.

"Nice try, Eli Goldsworthy." She began "Purity ring, _remember_?" She reminded me, acting as if I had this evil master plan to take her religion away from her.

"Oh shut it Edwards, I just wanted to _cuddle_." I said the end in a _'cute'_ baby voice.

She rolled her eyes and smiled.

She then proceeded to walk over and lay next to me.

"Do you have any siblings?" She asked me.

Random question..

"A brother and a sister."

"Do you get along with them?"

"Not at all." I began "My brothers the biggest asshole and he cares about no one but himself. And my sister blames me for Julia's death."

Yeah, maybe I gave a little too much information on my sister..

"I'm sorry." She quietly apologized for some thing that she didn't need to apologize for. "Hows your dad?"

This was the perfect chance to tell her.

I needed to just blurt it out - to just tell her I was going to live with him.

If any moment was going to be perfect- it was probably going to be this one

"Truth is-" I began.

But of course.. was interrupted by Clare's cellphone ringing.

"Hold on- it's Darcy" She replied, sitting up from the bed and answering her phone. "Darcy! What's up?" She asked excitedly.

I rolled my eyes and stared at the ceiling while Clare had an _'exciting'_ conversation with her sister.

Since Clare was on the phone - I was able to plan out exactly what I wanted to say

I'd start off by saying her name and how much I loved her.. Then, I'm not sure..

How am I supposed to tell her some thing like this?

I watched her pace around my room, with her cellphone up to her ear- and a smile spread across her face.

She was so beautiful - so perfect - so happy.

How could I ruin some thing like that?

She was the combination of all things perfect- And I didn't want to mess up.

I had no way of controlling how she'd react, or how she'd feel for me.

I could only control how I told her..

And even though this is a stupid decision- maybe holding off telling her will be for the best..

Suddenly, she layed back down on the bed, and closed her phone

"Sorry- Darcy's coming back next week, and she just wanted to catch up" She explained "But what were you saying about your dad?"

"Nothing" I quickly answered- "Nothing at all."

* * *

Once the clock it 3 PM,

Clare began walking home - this way her parents would believe that she had been at school this entire day.

I had suggested driving her, but she said it would be too 'suspicious' since I never had driven her home before.

I decided to take a drive around - I wasn't going any where specific. I just wanted to drive.

I had a CD - a CD that Clare had made for me a long long time ago.

It was full of 'her kind' of songs.

But I was curious.

First song that played was called- "Still Around" by 3Oh!3.

I was interested, and actually payed attention to the lyrics -

_"Go ahead and burn it down_  
_I'm drunk and so is everyone else_  
_In this devil town_  
_They wont let me turn around_  
_To get one last look at my baby_  
_While she's still around"_

This song honestly felt like it was written for me and Clare.

I know that once I moved- I was going to break.

Breakdown in to the old Eli- that always drank by himself and didn't care at all for anyone or anything besides himself.

I was a mess. A honest to God mess.

I arrived back home- 5 PM.

Even though I knew it was a bad idea..

I went in to my fridge, and got my mother's beers out.

I wanted to get this whole moving thing out of my head. I wanted to be happy for the day..

I wanted to stop feeling like a guilty asshole.

...

Once it was too late- I remembered that I had made plans with Clare for her to come over tonight..

I hope she doesn't mind..


	28. Chapter 27

**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
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**DsSourCream** - Hahah, Eli isn't the smartest guy in the world. Lol, thanks for reading and reviewing.  
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**peacelovedegrassi **- Ahah, awwh don't cry! Be happy! (: Lmao, thanks for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me and this story!  
**sassy selena** - Hahah, Yeah Eli definitely isn't the smartest person in the world. Lol. And I like that my story surprises you(: And I'm really glad that you like my story. And again, thank you for the long review(: Hahaha. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me and this story (:  
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**TheCrazyUnicorn **- Thank you so much for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me.

Chapter Twenty Seven  
"Dare You To Move"

I stumbled to the door, once I heard it ring. I reached for the door knob - after a few seconds, I finally succeeded in opening the door.

"Clare!" I excitedly slurred her name. She looked at me suspiciously.

"Eli?" She replied, I ignored the fact that she seemed concerned and hugged her. "Are you okay?"

"Clare. I'm perfectly good - like happy Eli is here." I rambled. I then allowed her entrance in to my house and closed the door.

"Have you been drinking?"

"**Never** in my life."

Kinda sarcastic and unbelievable..

"Let's go sit down." She suggested/demanded.

I believe that she may have caught on to my stumbling and obvious lying.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the couch- she sat me down, and sat next to me.

"I love you Clare." I told her, as I rested my head on her shoulder.

"I love you too Eli." She replied "But why were you drinking?"

It was pretty obvious that I only drank to get problems off my mind- For example- I drank after Fitz almost stabbed me.

I ignored her question.

Clare softly ran her fingers through my hair - I felt my eyes shutting and my mind wandering off.

Suddenly, I felt Clare shaking me.

"Eli." She spoke my name.

My eyes opened and I pulled my head off of her shoulder. My head hurt extremely bad and I felt like I had been punched in the face several times in a row.

"What time is it?" I asked- completely sober.

"10. I have to go home." She told me.

I slept the entire time she was here.._ Great._

"Clare. I'm so sorry." I apologized, feeling guilty already.

"Eli. It's fine. But why were you drinking?" She asked me.

The question I dreaded, and honestly did not want to answer. I let out a deep breath and sorted out an answer in my mind.

"I was just in a bad mood." I lied. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to just tell the truth and get it over with.

Random Reminder - Tomorrows Friday, I have eight days left with Clare..

"Oh." She awkwardly replied, she then looked down at her phone "I should probably get going. My moms going to go nuts if I'm gone too long." She explained to me. I nodded and watched her walk towards the door.

"Wait, Clare-"

"What?" She replied, turning around.

"Did I say anything mean or stupid to you?" I asked. Not having the ability to remember much of anything.

"No." She replied, with a slight smile. "See you tomorrow, Eli." She added before walking out.

The minute she was gone- I sighed and rolled my eyes. I wasted a perfectly good night and a perfectly good chance to tell her the truth.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, my head felt like it was on fire.

I walked downstairs- in my boxers and no shirt- I grabbed headache medicine and sat down at the kitchen table.

I refused to even go to school... But then again- school was six hours of seeing Clare.. I refused to miss that.

I forced myself to get up from the table and make my way up the stairs.

I took a quick hot shower and then grabbed some clothes. I brushed my teeth- grabbed my back pack and made my way to school.

My hair was already dry when I got there.

I sat in Morty, and honestly did not want to enter Degrassi.

Degrassi was good for one reason, and that reason would be Clare.

But since I'm going to be leaving Degrassi, and entering a new school - I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Or who I'm going to focus my time on.

All I knew was that I was simply going to be isolated and pulled away from happiness.

Leave it to my parents to ruin every little enjoyable thing in my life. Leave it to them to make misery seem like the only feeling I could feel.

I finally exited Morty and made my way towards the front doors. I watched as all the happy students around me talked to their friends- or skate boarded around the parking lot.

Degrassi was a very_ 'unique' _school. I suppose that I never really stopped to look at every one around me.

As I entered the school, I immediately noticed Adam sitting by the stairs, looking through his backpack - in search for some thing.

Man.. I've lost touch with Adam. And I'm pissed off at myself. Adam's a good friend.. I shouldn't always ditch him like I do.

"Hey Adam." I greeted him.

"Oh hi." He awkwardly replied - I should've known he'd be mad.

"Whats up, dude?"

"Nothing.. Haven't talked to you in years."

"I know. I'm sorry about it- I'm just busy."

"With Clare?" He replied, smirking - Good to know he's not mad.

"Kinda." I answered, softly laughing. "But I actually wanted to tell you some thing.."

"What?" He asked, sounding worried.

"I'm moving." I decided to just straight out say it.

"What?" He yelled.

"Shh, dude. I didn't even tell Clare yet."

"When are you moving? Where?" He unloaded all of his questions at once.

"Next Sunday." I answered his first one- Adam's jaw immediately dropped.

"And you haven't told Clare yet?" Adam asked - I could tell that he thought I was insane.

"I'm scared. I don't want to hurt her." I attempted to explain my reasons- which weren't good ones.

"And waiting till last minute won't?"

"I know dude, I'm fucking myself over. But I'll try to tell her this weekend or as soon as possible." I promised- all though I could tell it was a promise that I was going to break "And I'm moving to my dad's - which is like an hour away."

"Dude.. Clare's going to take it hard. Aren't you guys close now?" He asked me.

"Yeah..." I paused "We are."

Adam made me realize how close Clare and I were, and how much I was going to hurt her.

There was nothing I could do about it though.. But I'll continue to try and fix this.

I'll do whatever it takes to keep my Clare happy.

* * *

I sat on the ground and waited at Clare's locker for her for about 5 minutes..

Soon, I saw her walk down the hall, staring at the floor as she did so.

It looked as if she was crying. I immediately got up from the ground and made my way towards her.

"Clare, Clare." I softly said her name- as I placed my hands on her shoulders, "What's wrong?"

"My parents."

"Tell me what happened." I demanded.

"My dad left." She told me, I watched tears slide down her face. I pulled her in to the tightest, most loving hug I could.

"It's okay. Your here with me." I whispered, as she placed her head in my chest- and cried her eyes out.

I couldn't tell her about me moving now.. I couldn't hurt her more then she already was.

"We probably should of ditched today instead of yesterday." I said, attempting to get her to smile.

Luckily - I was successful.

"Yeah, we should've." She replied.

I continued to have my arms wrapped around her and our body's were against each other's- She looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes.

I wiped off the tears from her red cheeks, and smiled at her.

"Your beautiful, even when your crying."

She smiled - "Lying isn't going to help anything." She replied- I smiled at her.

"I would NEVER lie to such a pretty girl like you."


	29. Chapter 28

Yet **ANOTHER **song suggest**?** (;  
- "6 Months" by Hey Monday  
is a really really good song(:

**Princesakarlita411 **- Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing(:  
**zeldaskeeper** - Hahahahha, I LOVED your rhyme(: Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**daretodream94 **- Haha awwh(: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and this story(:  
**EveryoneLovesEclares **- Thank you for reading and reviewing(: It means sooo much to me.  
**marleyismyhoney** - Hahahah! Good idea(: Lmao, thanks so much for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me and this story.  
**sassy selena** - Hahaha awwwh(: No worries- I love when people tell me they love my story(: Haha. It really does mean a lot to me. And I'm happy that you thought the beginning was funny. (: Thanks so so much for reading and reviewing (And for leaving long reviews) (: It means so much to me and this story.  
**EliandClare414** - Ahaha you'll have to wait and read(: And omg, why is Fitz returning? That's soo not cool. I hope he doesn't hurt Eli :( Welll, thank you so much for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me and this story.  
**You** - Hah, you'll have to wait and read(: Thanks for the review and for reading my story(:  
**peacelovedegrassi **- Lol ahah - Sorry that you had to yell! Haha, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me (:  
**DsSourCream **- Well, I really want to keep this fanfiction going for a long long time. As long as people review, I'll keep it going(: Thank you for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me (:

Chapter Twenty Eight  
"You Love Me - I Love You Harder"

For the next half hour - Clare and I sat against the lockers.

I had my arms tightly wrapped around her, as she rested her head on my chest.

"Why do we bother with love, if it never lasts?" She asked me.

"It lasts, _sometimes_."

"Your parents are divorced.. Mine are about to be. That proves my point." She reminded me.

"But me and you are going to last." I told her.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because I love you." I told her. She smiled and looked up at me.

"Good." She began "Because I love you more then you'll ever know."

"Trust me" I paused "I know." I added with a smile.

She smiled and rolled her eyes- "Your one of a kind, Eli Goldsworthy."

"Your the best, Clare Edwards."

"_Obviously_" She sarcastically joked with me.

I laughed. And she rested her head on my shoulder- while I rested my head on her's.

We sat there, together, until the bell for first period rang.

I quickly stood up- and held my hands out to her, offering her help to stand up. She took my offer and grabbed on to my hands.

Once she stood up, I took her books from her hands, and held them in one of my hands. And with my other hand, I held on to her's.

"I'll walk you to class." I told her, she smiled and nodded.

We walked the halls together, holding hands. And I couldn't be any happier being with her. She always made me happy.. no matter what.

We stopped in front of the Science room, which was the class Clare had first period, we stood there- just staring at each other.

"Are you good?" I asked her, as I handed her science books to her - Not wanting to leave her if she was going to cry again.

"Yeah.. I am." She quietly replied. "And thank you.. Eli.." She thanked me "It really does mean a lot to me."

I smiled- "Anytime Clare." I said before walking away.

I got my books out of my locker and lucky enough- made it to Math in time.

* * *

**Mental Note** - Don't drink on school nights... The hangover isn't very pleasant.

I entered the lunch room and immediately approached the table Adam, Clare and me usually sit at.

I sat down, and soon enough- Adam was sitting across from me.

"Hey dude. How was first period?" I asked, making conversation.

"It sucked- obviously." Adam answered -

That's the _last_ time I ever try to be nice...

"And how was your's?" He asked.

"Hangover.. Not fun." I straight out answered.

"Sucks for you." Thanks for the sympathy.

After ten minutes- I began to worry.

Clare was fifteen minutes late for lunch, and I couldn't help but wonder where she was.

She had never been late to any classes, INCLUDING lunch.. I decided that texting her would be the best idea.

"Where are you?" I texted her.

And a minute later, I heard a voice.

"Don't worry about it." I heard the familiar voice say behind me.

I looked back to see Clare.

She sat down next to me, and began eating her salad.

"Where were you?" I asked her, concerned.

"Getting extra credit for Social Studies - My grades going down." She answered.

Saint Clare needing extra credit to pass a class..?

Never thought I'd see the day.

"Damn Saint Clare - some one's falling behind. Maybe I'll be the _smart_ one in this relationship." I teased her.

She smiled and rolled her eyes - "Psh, like that will ever happen." She teased me back.

"We'll see, Edwards.. We'll see." I flirtatiously replied.

"Dudes- I'm trying to keep my lunch down- and your _'cute' _talk isn't helping.." Adam jokingly stated.

Clare and I softly laughed-

"Adam, want to hang out with us tonight?" I asked. We had lost touch with Adam recently- and it bothered me.

"Sorry man, I'm going to my grandma's for dinner." He explained "It's going to be a _blast_.." He then sarcastically added

"How bout you Clare? Got any _special _plans?" I asked her.

"Of course." She answered, with a smile on her face - she had some kind of 'insult' up her sleeve - I could see it in her eyes.

"And who would those plans be with?"

"Oh you know.. The usual - KC, Jenna, Fitz, and Bianca crowd." She sarcastically answered.

"Ha ha- very funny." I sarcastically replied- smiling after doing so "Now how about- you ditch them and come hang with me."

"Eh. I'll think about it." She teased me with a smile.

God, did I love her smile.


	30. Chapter 29

**Princesakarlita411 **- Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me and this story(:  
**daretodream94 **- Haha, awwh sorry for getting you all worked up! Haha, no worries- he'll eventually tell her. (: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me (:  
**EliandClare414 **- Adam is great(: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story! (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Awwwh(: Thank you so much! And also, thank you for reading and reviewing! It means sooo much to me and this story(:  
**IluvThissWebsitee **- Ahaha, is that a good thing? Lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me.  
**zeldaskeeper** - Ahhaha(: Thanks for reading and reviewing(:  
**DsSourCream** - Awwh. Hahha, cheer up! He'll tell her eventually(: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story.  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - You'll have to wait and see what he does! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing this story - it really means a lot to me(:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story(: It means a lot to me and this story.  
**browneyedgirl1234 **- I hope to continue this story for a really really really reall_y_ long time! (: And your reviews aren't boring at all! Don't worry, I love long reviews. And thank you so so much(: It means a lot to me and this story.  
**vampirelovr333 **- Hahaha no worries- I understand. I'm not doing good in school right now, to be honest! Haha. And thank you so much for the suggestion. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I'm going to do with this whole moving thing. But I'll figure some thing out(: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. It really does mean a lot to me and this story(:

Chapter Twenty Nine  
"Go Ahead And Build It Up Again"

I walked in to my house and threw my backpack to the ground- I took notice to my drunk mother, who was passed out on the couch.

I rolled my eyes. I was immature, trust me- I know that, but when I have kids; I refuse to ignore them and I will always pay attention to the things that they do.

If I had invented cars- my mom wouldn't care.. She would just ask me for my money and another beer.

She was a mess. But no matter what she did - I always found a reason to love her.

I made my way to my room and turned on my ipod. As I blasted music, I grabbed my laptop.

I looked to see if Clare was online- and lucky enough for me..

**eli-gold49**: You at home?  
**clare-e23**: Yeah. Listening to my mother cry- as usual.  
**eli-gold49**: Want me to come pick you up?  
**clare-e23**: Yes please.

I couldn't help but feel bad, as I grabbed my keys and turned my music off. Clare was the sweetest girl in the world and she didn't deserve the every day pain that she goes through.

Lucky enough- Darcy comes home next week..

Which means that when I'm forced to leave her - She'll still have Darcy.

I entered Morty and immediately turned on music. I slowly drove to Clare's, and once I arrived- I saw her sitting on the front steps.

She looked up once she heard me pull up, she then began walking towards the car. She looked miserable- so unhappy.

I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted her to be happy once again- I wanted to see that beautiful smile of hers.

She entered the car, and I already had a fun 'insult' to say to her- but I decided it wasn't the time.

"You okay?" I asked her, placing my hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me, and I could see the scared and hurt look in her eyes.

"Yeah" She lied as she nodded.

How could I tell she was lying? - The way she could hardly make eye contact with me, the way her voice was so shakey and fragile.

The fact that I could see that she had been crying, since her make up had been messed up from all the tears.

But whether her make up was perfect or messed up - it didn't matter. I still loved _my_ Clare.

"Where you want to go?" I asked- I didn't want to call her out for lying, she seemed to be in a mood where she wanted it to be quiet.

"Anywhere." She quietly answered.

I nodded and began driving- "Pick the radio station." I demanded.

She looked at me surprised. This was the second time I had allowed her to pick the radio station. And trust me- I wasn't excited to hear what obnoxious girly radio song she was going to pick. But Clare was clearly unhappy.. and I was willing to do anything to make her just a little bit happier.

She turned the radio nob and finally stopped at a station, which was playing- "Maybe I'm Just Tired" by As Tall As Lions.

I loved the band As Tall As Lions. Their songs actually had meaning and really spoke to me.

I glanced at Clare, she was looking out the window. I could hear her crying and heavy breathing.

I pulled over at a park- which had no one in it.

I turned to Clare, and put my hand on top of hers. The music was still playing.

"Clare." I spoke her name, all though she refused to look at me. "Come on." I begged.

She turned towards me. Her face was covered in tears and her cheeks were a bright red. She looked so hurt.

"Your going to be okay. I'm not going to leave your side. I'm going to help you get through this." I said all these promises.

Promises that I knew I couldn't keep. Promises that would soon become broken promises. I was pretty much setting her up for a heartbreak, and I knew it was wrong.

But I had to say anything to just get her to smile- to trust me- to believe that I loved her.

She suddenly hugged me- tighter then ever.

She cried in to my shoulder, as I wrapped my arms around her waste and held her close.

It was the longest hug I had ever been apart of, but I loved every single last second of it.

After about ten minutes- of hugging and being silent as she cried- we finally pulled away from each other.

"Let's go for a walk." I suggested. She nodded and we both exited the car.

I held on to her hand and we walked together.

"What happened with your mom?" I asked. I figured that Clare was extremely upset because of some thing her mom had said or done.

"Just kept ranting on about how her and my father were getting a divorce and how she never wants to see his lying, cheating, disrespectful face again." She explained.

Harsh. Never knew a_ Christian mom _could get so feisty.

"Cheating?" I asked.

Never knew a _Christian father_ was _allowed_ to cheat..

"Apparently so." She answered.

I nodded and the two of us remained silent for the next few minutes.

We continued walking, and then she suddenly stopped. -

"Let's go in the park." She suggested- I nodded and the two of us then entered the park.

We went to the swings. She sat down on one swing, and I sat down on the one next to hers.

We were barely swinging- merely using the swings as an object to sit on.

"I hate school." I randomly stated- breaking the silence between us that seemed to be unbreakable.

"I know. We're only juniors. We still have two more years of hell."

"Eh whatever. You and I can make the best of it." I replied, standing up from my swing and going in back of her.

"Eli Goldsworthy, you better not push me! You know I have a fear of swinging high on swings!" She warned me, before she could even finish her sentence- I began pushing her.

"I do recall you telling me a childhood story about how your father was pushing you on the swing so high.. and then you fell and broke your ankle." I paused- laughing at the end of my sentence. "But, I think you should trust me."

I wouldn't exactly call this _'torture'_.. more like a fun and exotic way of messing with Clare.

"Eli Goldsworthy!" She yelled my name- as I pushed her higher and higher.

"What do I get if I stop pushing you?" I asked.

"Don't even think of it, you pervert." She replied- giggling after.

"Ouch Edwards. _Pervert_? Low blow." I responded- smiling.

"Fine! You can have _anything_ you want." She stated. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine." I began "If it means_ that_ much to you.." I said as I grabbed the chains on her swing, and she quickly stopped swinging.

She then stood up and turned around to face me.

"Your so done!" She warned me as she began to chase me around the park.

After running for about a minute, she caught up to me.

She stuck her foot out in front of mine- causing me to trip and face plant on the grass.

**OUCH**.

Clare bursted out in to a loud laugh as she dropped to her knees, to see if I was okay.

My face felt like it was on fire.

"Clare.. your so evil." I stated, as I layed on my back- holding my face. "I believe that you may have broken every single bone in my face." I joked with her.

She couldn't stop laughing and it made me so happy.

If getting hurt to the extreme would make her _this _happy.. then bring on the pain.


	31. Chapter 30

**DsSourCream **- Awh thank you for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to meeee(:  
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**Justine** - Yeah- in Degrassi; Clare is a sophomore, and Eli's a junior. But I just changed things because if this story were to go on for a long long long time- and it were to get to where they're seniors and getting ready to graduate, then I'd want them to graduate together. Hahha, sorry I'm confusing! Lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing! (:  
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Chapter Thirty  
"Beware Of The Games"

Later that night,

Clare and I were parked in front of her home, at 11:30.

She seemed unwilling to leave - she refused to go see her depressed mother.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I don't know." She answered "Some thing rather then going home."

"Give me an idea before I push you out of the car and drive away with out you." I joked- "Trust me.. I'll do it."

Clare giggled- "Of course you will." She murmured "Can't we go back to your place?"

"And do what?"

"Anything." She answered.

"But my mom might be home." I replied.

"So, who cares?"

"She's always drunk." I honestly reminded her.

"I don't mind, Eli.. It's better then listening to my mom cry her heart out."

"Fine." I answered. Not wanting to go to my house.

I was scared that my mom would mention me moving to Clare..

But it was either I hid Clare from my mother- or I let her go home to cry in her room all night, alone.

I began driving Morty. And in less then a minute; we were sitting in front of my house.

I let out a deep sigh, as we sat there- parked in my car. I noticed my mother's car parked in the driveway.

Yeah.. I'm screwed.

"Let's go." Clare suggested, opening her car door.

"Are you sure you want to go here? We can go some where else." I replied- hoping to God she'd just pick some where else.

"No Eli, come on." She answered, acting as if it was nothing.

I was surprised she hadn't commented on how red my face was- or how nervous I seemed.

'Cuz I was more nervous then I'd ever been before. I opened my car door and exited- while she did the exact same.

We walked towards my front door- I was walking as slow as I possibly could.

"Are you okay?" She asked, finally noticing my hesitation to enter my home.

"I'm f-fine" I answered, stuttering. She looked at me suspiciously, but continued to walk to the door.

Once we were in front of my door, I grabbed my keys and slowly unlocked the door.

I let out a deep breath before opening the door.

"Go upstairs." I immediately demanded.

"I can't meet your mother?" She said with a smile.

"_Clare_- go upstairs." I demanded, once again- but this time, more serious.

"Eli." My mother yelled from the couch.

I'm so unbelievably screwed.

"Yeah mom." I answered, dreading what'd she say next.

"Your father called-" She began- but I interrupted her.

"Mom. Clare's here. We're going to leave now." I replied

"Oh. Is Clare here to help you move?" She asked.

Fuck..

"No. Just go back to bed." I demanded. I then put my hand on Clare's back and whispered- "Go upstairs. Please."

Clare nodded and quickly made her way up the stairs.

I soon did the exact same.

I dreaded entering my room.. I didn't want to hear what Clare had to say; I didn't want to tell Clare what my mom meant; I didn't want to fight.

I just wanted to enjoy these last 9 days I had with Clare.

Well technically 8.. considering the fact Friday is pretty much over.

I entered my room and immediately spotted Clare sitting on my bed.

She was looking down at her hands, which were placed on her lap. Her face was a dark red- and she looked like she was about to burst out in to tears.

"Clare?" I quietly said her name. She didn't look up.

I closed my bedroom door and then went to sit next to her on my bed.

"Clare, talk to me. What's wrong?" I asked, as I rubbed her back. Attempting to comfort her.

She then suddenly looked up at me; we made eye contact-

"Why would I be helping you move? Eli. What are you hiding from me? Are you leaving? Just tell me the God damn truth- because I've been lied to enough. My parents lied to me and you saw how much that hurt me- so if your lying to me.. then don't be a dumbass and just tell me!" She went off.

I was silent- for a moment. I was speechless to how much Clare was hurting right now.

And how I was just about to add on to the pain..

"No Clare.." I began; I intended on telling the truth.. but of course- my words had a different idea. "My mom meant moving rooms. Me and her are switching rooms. I made her realize that she's never home and I should have the nicer room because I'm always home." I lied.

Fuck. Why the fuck am I even lying to her? Like honestly. I don't even have control over the things I say anymore.

I lie constantly to this girl - when all I want to do is tell the truth.

"Oh." Clare let out a deep breath, very calm now. "Sorry for flipping out. I just really can't have you leave me, Eli.. You mean the world to me and I need you here. If you ever left.. I don't know who I would turn to or what I would do. I'd be all alone."

**Guilty** would be the feeling that was filling me up.

I was setting her up- and it disgusted me.

How could I be so cruel?

I'm a hypocrite.

I promised to never hurt her- but I'm currently setting her up for the biggest heartbreak.

"Don't worry Clare- I'm here." I said quietly, as Clare rested her head on my shoulder and I rubbed her back.


	32. Chapter 31

**EXTREMELY IMPORTANT - MUST READ - EXTREMELY IMPORTANT - MUST READ - EXTREMELY IMPORTANT - MUST READ**  
-Alright. I'm going on vacation with my friends until Monday. Which means that I can't put up another chapter until Monday :(  
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be mad. I feel so incredibly bad and that's why I made this chapter as long as possible. And  
I really hope that you guys continue to read and review my story, even though Degrassi is starting up again. I'll always  
keep writing, as long as you guys review. Thank you for reading(: It means so much to me and I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

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Chapter Thirty One  
"It's Nothing But Time And A Face That You Lose"

I woke up on Saturday morning- I felt sick to my stomach.

It was one of those typical 'bad feeling' days. Where you wake up and it's drizzling rain. Also, the minute you wake up - your immediately overwhelmed with a guilty feeling.

It's like the minute you open your eyes - you get butterflies. Not the kind of butterflies you get when your excited to see the girl you love..

More like the butterflies you get when you get punched in the face.

Not the good ones - _obviously_.

As I showered- I felt like I was cleaning off all the guilt and unhappiness from my body. Clare was filling up my mind.

I got out of the shower and called Adam.

"Wanna come over?" I asked, the minute I heard him pick up the phone.

"Sure. Now?" He asked.

_Obviously. _

"Yeah."

"Alright. Be there in 5."

I hung up - with out even saying or hearing a goodbye.

I didn't care - I just needed to rant on and on about how sick to my stomach I was. And Adam was the perfect person to let out all my guilt to.

He was a good listener, and very trusting. I was almost positive that he wouldn't tell Clare.. Well, at least I hope.

It was only a five minute wait - until Adam arrived at my house.

He didn't ring the doorbell - he just walked in and entered my room.

"Hey. What's up?" He asked immediately, knowing some thing was wrong.

"I'm fucking guilty as hell!" I immediately stated, with anger in my voice.

"About?"

"I haven't told Clare that I'm moving yet, and I've had more then a million chances." I explained "Last night, she came over and my mom was drunk. My mom asked if Clare was here to help me move. When Clare and I went upstairs to my room - she asked if I was moving. In my head, I kept repeating the words- _'Tell her the truth'_. But my mouth had a different idea, and decided to lie to her."

"Dude. You've got to tell her." He began "Your leaving in like eight days. I think if you wait any longer.. It's just going to make things ten times worse."

"I know that.. But I can't break her heart." I replied.

"You've broken hearts before, Eli." Adam responded with a smirk.

"I know - but with Clare.. It's different." I told him "It's like, I can't stand to see her cry. I hate hurting her feelings. I can't do this. I can't hurt her."

"It's either you tell her the truth.. or you move away with out her knowing." Adam replied, "I think telling her the truth would be much more reasonable." He added.

"I'm obviously going to tell her - but I don't know how or when."

"Just rip the bandage off.. _Tonight_."

I nodded.

* * *

That Night..

It was 8 PM and I was in my bedroom - getting ready to go pick Clare up.

We were planning on going to a nearby beach, which was only 10 minutes away. It was all Clare's idea.

She claimed that, when she was a kid, it was her favorite place to go.

And I've shown Clare all of my memorable places.. So this time - it was her turn.

For once in my life - I dreaded seeing Clare. I didn't want to tell her the truth. I just wanted to pretend like I wasn't moving..

I just wanted to lie and get away with it. In my demented mind - I believed that maybe I could move.. and Clare would never notice..

But that _obviously _wasn't going to happen.

In the simplest terms.. I have to tell her. It was plain and simple.

Even though it was going to be hard, and even though it was going to break my heart, as well as hers, I had to do it.

It was better for the both of us to face the truth and the reality of this situation. I didn't want to end things with Clare.

But long distance relationships aren't easy. Morty breaks down all the time, and I don't think he'd be able to handle driving from my dad's and back here every day.

I wanted to get this off my mind- so I entered Morty, and drove towards Clare's.

Once I pulled up, I saw Clare looking out her front room window. She was adorable.

She smiled and then opened her front door and came running out to the car.

She was honestly flawless.

She entered the passenger's seat and gave me the brightest smile possible.

"I'm so excited to go to the beach!" She exclaimed. Of course she was. I smiled and softly laughed.

"Of course you are."

* * *

We pulled up to the beach, and it was absolutely empty.

We both exited the car and began walking together. I held on to her hand and the two of us walked towards the beach.

We were walking down the beach - on the sand - in silence.

But it wasn't the awkward 'what the fuck do I say now?' silence..

It was the relaxing and satisfying silence. The one that calmed all your nerves.

"What's your favorite sport?" She randomly asked me.

Alright.. _Random Question_?

"Uh, why?" I awkwardly replied - wondering why in hell she'd ask me that.

"'Cuz you don't seem to really like sports." She stated. "I'm just curious."

"Hockey." I honestly answered.

I mean.. Who doesn't love hockey, though?

"Good choice." She murmured with a smirk.

"And yours?" I asked.

"Football." She answered - I randomly bursted out in to laughter. Her jaw dropped and formed in to a smirk "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You like football?" I asked, in giggles.

"Yes. I do." She answered.

"I'm sorry - I just can't see that happening." I replied, still laughing.

I mean.. can you blame me? Saint Clare and football? It just didn't really make sense to me.

"Want me to prove it?" She asked - seeming to be very determined to 'prove me wrong'.

"And how in the world would you do that?"

"Let's have a football game." She suggested.

"Clare, I don't want to hurt you." I mocked her.

"Psh. Like you'd be able to hurt me, Goldsworthy - your a wimp." She burned me

"OUCH, Edwards. You might want to take that back.. _Or else_." I responded.

"Or else what, Eli? You'll get me arrested for having a fake ID? I'm not as stupid as Fitz." She teased me

"Psh.. I'll do _worse _then that."

"We'll have to see about that."

I then grabbed her by her waist - and picked her up.

I then proceeded to lay her down on the sand.

"Eli!" She screamed, laughing. "That was a cheap shot!"

"_Your a cheap shot_." I replied - what I had said made no sense, but it made her laugh.. So it works for me.

"Oh wow Eli - your just so incredibly clever." She sarcastically replied - as she continued to lay on the sand.

"Psh, I'm more then clever - I'm brilliant." I replied, as I put out one of my hands - to help her stand up.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me down - forcing me to lay down next to her.

"That just proved how _clever_ you are." She replied, smiling.

"That hurts Clare." I joked - she giggled and the two of us suddenly grew silent as we looked up at the stars.

We were silent for a minute or two before Clare spoke -

"Eli." She said my name, in a quiet - but serious tone.

"Yes."

"What do you think of me.. of _us_?" She asked me.

This was my chance.. My chance to come clean. To tell the truth.

"I don't know Clare." I answered. "I see you as the most beautiful, intelligent, fun, amazing.. perfect girl." I complimented her.

"But what about us? Like.. as a couple?"

"We're perfect together." I answered "Why?"

"Because.. I'm always scared."

"Of what?"

"I'm always scared that you'll leave me." She told me.

Of course.. out of all the millions of things she could of said.. she just had to say those exact words.

"I'm scared of you leaving me because I'll honestly be all alone." She added on "My parents are a wreck - I can't even talk to my mother anymore. The only conversation we've had in the past few weeks were about how much she despises my father."

"Clare- Divorces are hard and I understand where you're coming from." I told her "You're going to get through it.. I promise."

She then turned towards me, and layed her head on my chest.

"I need you, Eli.. I need you to help me get through this."

Seriously.. I need to grow the fuck up and just tell her the truth!

"Trust me Clare.. I'm going to be here."

_Strong Promises to Broken Promises.. _

"Good." She answered.

"I love you." I told her, as I closed my eyes.

"I love you too." She replied - kissing my cheek.

I smiled at her - "Out of curiosity.. What would you do if I left you?"

I was hoping she wouldn't catch on to what I was implying..

"I don't know.. Cry my eyes out for the rest of my life." She answered, giggling towards the end.

"Of course you would" I said with a smile. "But seriously.. What would you do?"

"I don't know Eli.. To be honest, My life would crumble. You keep me together." She replied.

Please Clare, don't say these things.. It makes it so much harder.

I didn't even reply.. I couldn't begin to think of words to say.

All I did was remain silent - and softly ran my finger through her curly hair, which was extremely soft.

"I love you, Eli." She stated as she continued to lay on my chest.

"I love you too Clare."


	33. Chapter 32

**sassy selena** - This story isn't going to end any time soon! I promise(: and I love how your guessing! Hahaha. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot to me. (:  
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_Song Suggestion_ - "Stay" by Jesse Thomas  
The song was in the new episode(: And I really love it!

Chapter Thirty Two  
"I've Done You Wrong - I've Made Mistakes: Part One"

Clare and I walked along the beach, holding hands.

"I remember the first time I saw you." She stated.

"Oh, what a memory." I said with a smile, she giggled.

"You ran over my glasses, you jerk." She joked- playfully pushing my shoulder.

"Hey! It's not my fault that you threw them in to the middle of the street!" I reminded her, smiling.

"Well, your car shouldn't be so _violent_." She joked back. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Well maybe you shouldn't be so _clumsy_." I replied. Clare smiled and shrugged.

"Ah, you got me there."

"Of course I did." I replied.

"Remember how awkward I was?" She asked.

I couldn't help but laugh as I reminisced.

"_Guess I'll see you around_?" I mocked her in a girly voice. "How lame!" I joked, she took both of her hands and pushed me.

"Hey! Like you should be talking! -" She began "_'I think they're dead'_" She then mocked me, with a low boy voice.

"Low blow Edwards." I replied with a smile. "You love my unnecessary, rude, sarcastic, but entertaining comments. Every one does." I joked, with a smile.

"Your so smug, Goldsworthy." She replied.

"Ah Edwards - don't try and change the subject. I stated that you loved my unnecessary, rude, sarcastic an entertaining comments - but you didn't seem to deny that you like them."

"Maybe I do like them" She replied, with a flirtatious smile.

"That's what I thought." I responded, smiling back.

We stopped walking, and stood by the water. We were staring each other in the eyes - both of our hands were holding one anothers - while the sun was setting.

It was like one of those unbelievable movie scenes that you thought would never happen.

EXTREMELY cheesy..

But since it was with Clare.. It was perfect.

"My parents would _not_ like this." She replied, with a playful smile.

"Well I'm sure that they'd like _this_" I stated, with a smirk - as I leaned in and we kissed passionately.

As we pulled away, I rested my forehead on her's.

"Clare.. We need to talk." I stated.

She took her forehead off of mine, and looked at me concerned.

God, was this going to be terrifying.

I wasn't ready to tell her.. I didn't want to tell her..

I had never been scared in my life.. But this.. was far from scared.

"Should I be worried?" She asked nervously.

I took a minute to answer, a second to think it over.

I nodded. There was a huge bump in my throat, I felt my heart slowly breaking as I looked at her beautiful face, I felt my every thing crashing down.

I wasn't an emotional guy, besides when it came to Julia. I've always been strong and confident. But I couldn't seem to wrap my head around this whole idea. This whole situation seemed like it was out of my hands and I couldn't do any thing to fix it.

"Eli." She began "What's going on?" Clare asked, begging for answers.

I held her hands tighter and kissed her forehead. I then put my forehead against her's.

"I'm scared."

"About what? Eli, Just tell me." Clare was begging and begging for an answer. I could hear the tears in her voice.

I pulled my forehead away from her's and looked her straight in the eyes. We still had both of our hands grasping on to one another's.

"Things are going to change, more then you'd ever believe." I told her. "My family's changing - I'm changing."

"How are you changing?" She asked, interested in what I meant.

How was I supposed to tell her?

"I know.. I should've told you the minute I found out. But I held it off.. In order to save you from the heartbreak."

"Eli! Stop procrastinating and just tell me the truth!" She grew angry and impatient with me.

"Clare, I don't know how to!" I argued. "I'm scared! Outta my mind- scared!"

"Eli, your making this worse for me." Clare replied, calm now. "It can't be as bad as your making it."

"I'm moving."


	34. Chapter 33

**DareToDream94** - Hahah, sorry! I like doing cliff hangers :P Lmao. Well thank you so much for reading and reviewing(: I'm very happy that you enjoy my story, and I really appreciate the reviews(:  
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**Azula Felinae **- Haha, sorry(: I tend to put cliffhangers at the end of some chapters(: Haha, thanks for the review and for reading my story. It means a lot to me! (:  
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-Song Suggestion - "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday (:

Chapter Thirty Three  
"I've Done You Wrong - I've Made Mistakes: Part Two"

"I'm moving." Those words felt like a bullet that pierced both mine and Clare's heart.

Clare had no response, she was frozen. It honestly seemed like she couldn't even move. She was like frozen in time..

Her mouth was slightly opened, and her eyes were filled with no emotion. Her cheeks were a bright pink color.

To be honest- I was fighting the tears back. As I've stated before- _I never cry_. But seeing this girl so frozen.. so lost - it seemed as if I was the worst man in the world.

"Clare." I murmured her name, as I attempted to get a reaction, or a sentence, from her.

She suddenly looked down and then back up with me - Her eyes were watery; it seemed as if she was also fighting the tears back.

"When?" She asked, her voice so low and shaky.

"Sunday."

"Sunday!" She yelled, with anger and disappointment in her voice.

"I know. It's soon-" I began, before she interrupted me.

"When were you going to tell me, Eli?" Clare yelled.

"I don't know, Clare. I was scared to hurt you-"

"And waiting till now would of made it any better?"

Good point..

For once.. I agree with Clare.

"I know; it was idiotic, and disturbingly stupid. But I can't go back in time and change this."

"Why are you moving? Where are you moving?" She unloaded questions on me.

"My father thinks my mother isn't a suitable parent for me. I'm moving an hour away- I can visit some times.. But not a lot." I honestly answered.

Trust me- I've always known that I was an asshole.

But this was too far.. I was honestly the biggest asshole to ever enter this world.

Clare was silent, it seemed as if she was taking a moment to let it all soak in.

I was also doing the same..

"What's going to happen.." She then paused "Between us?" The one question that I didn't have the answer to.

"I don't know. Whatever you want, I suppose."

"Maybe it's better off that we break up." She suggested.

Can my fucked up life get any more fucked up?

"No Clare, please. I can try and get out of this. I can fix this. I can fix us. Just listen to me." I begged.

"Eli! I don't know what you want me to do! I can't do the long distance relationship thing."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't fully trust you yet - We haven't been dating long enough for me to really trust you." She explained.

"Clare. Just please stay with me. Without you, I'm a nothing- I'm going to go back to the old Eli."

"Who's the _old Eli_?" She asked curiously.

"An asshole who drinks all the time and does things with girls that he doesn't even care about. The guy who just about fails every subject and hardly has any friends." I replied. Giving her an honest answer on my past.

"Well what's stopping you from being that guy?"

"You." I told her "You make me a better guy, Clare. You make me want to be better. I've never felt so good about myself and about my life and about school. I'm finally passing all my classes. I'm finally getting the chance to live a better life."

"Well I'm your girlfriend.. Eli.. Not your mom." She replied.

Ouch.

When did Saint Clare get so clever?

"I'm not here to help you get better grades and not drink.. I'm supposed to be your girlfriend- the girl that you love and never hurt." She added.

Yeah. I have no reply for that one..

"I do love you and I don't want to hurt you- I'm trying not to."

"Attempting to do some thing and succeeding in doing it- are two totally different things."

I stayed silent.

I had no reply, no thought- No way in making her believe that I was a good guy.

I grabbed her hands and held on to them tighter then ever before.

"Believe in me, Clare." I stated. "Believe that I'll find a way to make this work."

"I'll believe it when I see it." She stated as she pulled her hands away from mine- and began walking down the beach- away from me.

I watched her walk away - and some thing in me told me that I couldn't let her go.

In that moment, I ran after her- and grabbed her wrist.

She turned around and I immediately kissed her.

We kissed for a long time. The kiss full of passion and emotion.

Once we pulled away- we froze for a second. Our lips and faces still extremely close- but not touching.

Suddenly, Clare hugged me so tightly. I immediately heard her tears falling on to my t-shirt, as I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

Neither of us spoke words, we just stood there- holding each other as if there was no tomorrow.

We were hugging for honestly at least ten minutes; with out speaking - and I'm not even over exaggerating.

Once we pulled away - I had my hands on her hips and she had her's around my neck.

"Please fix this." She murmured.

"I will. Clare- believe me, I will."


	35. Chapter 34

**DegrassiFan894332 **- (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it- it means a lot to me(:  
**EliandClare414 **- Awwwh, I'm really happy that your dedicated to this story. I really love writing and I'm happy that some people enjoy reading it. It really does mean a lot to me. Thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing this story. I appreciate it and it really means a lot to me (:  
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**DareToDream94** - Ahaha, I'll keep that in mind(: Thanks for the review and for reading this story. I really appreciate it(:  
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**vampirelovr333** - Awwh, you cried? :( Although, I'm happy that you enjoy this story(: Thanks for the review, and for reading this story. It means sooooo much to me(:  
**JustineHale** - Awwwwh :( -But I am happy that my story made you "feel an emotion", you know? Lol(: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I really honestly appreciate it- it means a lot to me and to this story. (:  
**degrassilove18** - (: Thank you so much for reviewing, and for reading this story! It means a lot to me(:  
**gleekster98** - I'm so excited for this Friday! EClare madness! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot(:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Hahah, he finally isn't the bad guy anymore! Lmao(: -I'm really happy that you enjoy my story. It means so much to me. Thanks for reading and reviewing(: I really appreciate it. (:

Chapter Thirty Four  
"All Is Lost - Hope Remains"

Sunday Morning.

One day closer to saying goodbye - to losing every thing.

I know; I made a promise.. I promised to fix all this shit.

But to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll succeed in that task.

I mean.. let's face the facts -

My father is an arrogant asshole who is all about himself- and gets what ever the hell he wants. On the other hand- my mother is always drunk and doesn't have the energy to stick up for the only person in her life that keeps her from going insane.

I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off at the world, at my parents, at my life.. at myself. I shouldn't be mad at myself- considering the fact that I honestly have no control over this situation.. But for some reason, I blame myself. I mean.. I guess it's understandable. I always blame myself..

I guess I'm used to getting blamed for every thing.

When some thing goes wrong.. people seem to blame the only guy that no one would believe.

No one ever believes me- I'm a liar, a jerk, a pathetic waste of a body.

But when I'm with Clare.. I'm the opposite.

I feel alive. I feel like nothing could stop me. I can never stop smiling, and I can never stop loving her.

I need to stay here.

I'll do whatever it takes..

I texted Clare- requesting for her to come over.

She accepted and claimed that she'd be over in less then five minutes.

And lucky enough for me.. She didn't lie.

After waiting only three minutes, I saw my bedroom door open and there stood Clare.

I was laying on my bed, and I looked over at her and smiled.

"Hey." I softly greeted her.

She softly smiled and walked over- to sit on the seat next to my desk.

She looked around my room - she had only been in here a couple of times.

"What did you do today?" She asked curiously- as her eyes wandered and examined my messy, but interesting, room.

"Got up, brushed my teeth, and layed here." I answered.

"_Exciting._" She sarcastically responded.

"Extremely." I also sarcastically stated. I wasn't in the mood for conversation.

She looked down at her hands, and I could see that she was still upset about the news I had informed her about.

"Come here." I murmured, she looked up at me - confused.

"Huh?"

"Come here." I said once again, this time louder. I moved over on my bed- and offered her a place to lay.

I'm not trying to trick her in to doing some thing bad.. I just want to be able to hold her for as long as possible.

She hesitated- but eventually stood up and came over to my bed. She layed down and sighed.

"Whats the matter?" I asked.

"I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I."

"Then run away, yell, scream, fight - do_ some thing._" She begged.

"I'll do what I can." I replied as I grabbed her hand- and held on to it tightly.

She layed- facing me, and I layed- looking up at the ceiling.

"Eli." She quietly stated my name.

I then repositioned my body to face hers.

We layed there- staring in to each others eyes.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I'm scared" She said with tears in her eyes.

"Me too." I answered.

I know, I'm supposed to be cheering her up - but I can't even function right now.

A single tear slowly traveled down her cheek - I wiped it off with my thumb and placed my hand on her cheek.

"Clare. Please." I softly begged. "Be happy."

"I can't be." She answered. "I've been miserable for the past twelve hours. I can't even sleep." She informed me.

Maybe I should of waited..

"Just try and be happy for our last week together. Please."

"I'll try." She stated, as she put her head on my chest and I could feel her beginning to drift off.

I ran my fingers through her hair and let out a deep sigh.

I closed my eyes- attempting to get my mind off of this situation.

I opened my eyes- unable to fall asleep. I guess I should stop sleeping till one PM.

I rested my hand on Clare's shoulder, and softly shook her-

If I was going to have to suffer and stay awake.. then _so would she_.

Yeah.. That does sound pretty cruel..

She suddenly looked up at me with her big blue beautiful eyes.

"What?" She groaned- sounding so tired and unhappy. "I haven't slept in years." She added.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I lied.

"Then what was the reason you intensely shook my shoulder?" She asked, confused- knowing that I was lying.

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh, she looked up at me and smiled - "You were trying to wake me up!" She yelled; seeming to have a raise in her energy

Clare was the smart one.

"Mmm, maybe.. Maybe not." I replied. She laughed and gave me a light playful slap on the face.

"Don't mess!" She yelled, with a big smile on her face. She was proud of_ slapping_ me.

"Oh, your done!" I yelled, as I immediately sat up on the bed and began tickling her.

She layed there- laughing, screaming and begging me to stop - but I loved seeing her laugh.

"Eli, Eli-" She spoke of my name in between laughs "I'll give you any thing you want! Three million dollars!" She ranted on, as she laughed.

"Three million dollars?" I replied- continuing to tickle her.

"YES!"

"How bout three million kisses?" I replied, as I stopped tickling her and leaned in to kiss her.

"Mmm, I'll think about it." She replied with a smile- I smiled and kissed her once more.


	36. Chapter 35

**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I realllly appreciate it(:  
**zeldaskeeper **- Hahaha, I want a trillion kisses from Eli :P but then again.. who doesn't? Lmao. Thanks for the review and for reading this story. It means so much to me, (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Lmao; Thanks for reviewing and reading! (: It means so much to me and to this story.  
**EliandClare414** - Haha; thank you for reading and reviewing(: It means lots to me, (:  
**vampirelovr333** - Lol, Thank you so so much. I really do appreciate the reviews(:  
**Azula Felinae** - Haha, no worries- you'll find out soon. Thanks for the review, and for reading this story. I appreciate it a lot(:  
**degrassilove18 -** (: Thanks for reviewing and reading! (: It means a lot to me. (:  
**Azula Felinae** - Lmao, you'll read and find out soon ! (: Thanks for reviewing and reading. (: It means a lot to me!  
**peacelovedegrassi **- Hahah, you'll have to wait and see! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it, and it means so much to me and this story! (:  
**DancingintheRayne **- (: Haha awh, thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means so much to me and this story.  
**DareToDream94** - Thanks for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me.

**SongSuggestion**(: - "Breathe Me" by Sia  
I listened to this song while I was writing this chapter; It's such an  
amazing and inspirational song- and it really helped me with the  
"emotion" in this chapter(: You should definitely listen to it! (:

-Degrassi tomorrow is going to be insane! EClare madness(; I'm so excited!  
I've been online watching promos for the episode for the past half hour. I'm  
so excited to see Eli! (: Hahah. I hope you guys are as excited as I am(: !

Chapter Thirty Five  
"And The Worst Part Is - There's No One Else To Blame"

"I'll see you tomorrow." Clare told me as she walked out my front door, some where along the time of 8 PM.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you home?" I asked, I felt bad making her ride her bike.

"I have my bike; it's fine. Don't worry." She reassured me, with a smile.

"Well, text me when you get home then." I sounded like a parent..

"Alright, _dad." _Of course she thought the same thing.

I smiled and kissed her forehead "Bye" we both softly said, as she closed the front door.

I walked in to the kitchen and took notice to my mother, sitting at the table- who wasn't drunk.. _For once_.

"Why you sober?" I asked. I know, it was kind of harsh- but I really was kind of 'worried'.

"Your father's coming over to discuss some last few things about how I'm going to visit and such." She answered.

I sat down at the table, across from my mother.

"Mom. Please, help me out on this." I stated; begging for help.

"Eli. I lost the battle. Don't make me feel worse." She responded.

"Did you see the girl that just walked out of this house?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"I've known her for like six months now.. And I'm so in love with her." I told her. "I can't leave her behind."

"There's nothing I can do. Eli. I know you might love that girl, but one girl isn't going to change your father's mind."

"Then what will?" I asked, needing suggestions - some sort of an idea.

"Nothing at this point."

Once my mother said that, the front door opened- and my dad put his head inside the house; I'm guessing he was checking to see if he could come in.

A knock on the door could of worked too, asshole..

"Can I come in?" He asked. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, just seeing my father's face made me sick.

My mother nodded and my dad entered the house. He then made his way to the kitchen and sat down in the empty chair next to me and my mom.

"So, how would you like to plan this visiting thing?" My father asked.

My mother's mouth opened to speak, but I cut her off.

"Well.. I'm going to drive up here, at least once a week- to visit Clare and my mom." I responded; talking in a very confident tone.

My dad didn't seem to like it- "No, your not."

"And why is that, dad?" I asked- He had only been here for a minute and I already wanted to punch him out.

"Your _hearse _is staying here.. There's no way I'm allowing you to creep the whole town out with your car."

"Your taking my mom, my girlfriend, my school, and my friends away from me! And now my car?" I responded; in a very angry voice.

"Eli. I'm trying to have a conversation with your mother. Can you please calm down or leave. We don't need your childish games." He stated - treating me like a child..

"No. Right now- you and I are going to have a little conversation." I responded. I've never been this rude to my dad.. "I have the most amazing life here. I've got great friends, good grades, an amazing mother, and the love of my life here." I explained to him "I've finally found some one in my life that makes me such a better person. I'm finally over Julia, and I can finally smile again. I'd like to see you try to take this all away from me." I told him "Because for now on- I refuse to leave. I will not leave Clare. "

"No Eli - you will do whatever the hell I tell you to do!" My dad snapped. "You are coming to live with me- and you'll be attending a private school." He informed me.

Fuck no.

"Not a chance in hell." I responded.

"There's a chance.. Trust me."

"I will honestly move out of this house - and make sure that you can never find me again." I warned him.

"And go where, Eli? You've got no job - no where to go." He reminded me.

"I've got friends- I know places, dad. Don't think I'm scared to leave." I replied.

"I know your not scared to leave- but I know you won't. Your a child, Eli. You believe that every thing will turn out the way you want- well that's not how life works. You have to do things you don't like some times. And for your girlfriend- you two are in high school. She doesn't love you. And you two aren't going to end up together."

"Fuck you." I stated before getting up from the table and walking up the stairs- to my room.

I hated that man.

* * *

It was 10 PM- and I was still pissed about what had happened before.

"I need to meet up with you." I texted Clare.

"Where, and why?" She replied

"I'll meet you at the end of your block- and it's the whole moving situation."

"Alright. Be there in five." She responded.

I sighed and got up from my bed. I then walked to the end of Clare's block and sat down on the curb.

I was so mad at the world. I hated this- I hated every one.. Besides her.

I knew that meeting up with her was a bad idea though, I was in the fucking worst mood - and I know I was going to say things I didn't mean.

"Eli?" I heard a voice say, I turned to see Clare. I then stood up from the curb and approached her. "What's the matter?"

"My dad came over to discuss some thing with my mom.. And I bitched at him about moving.. But there's no way I can get out of it, Clare." I honestly told her. As much as I hurt me to admit it.. I had to say it-"I'm moving, for real."

Clare nodded and looked down at the floor and then back up at me. "I'm screwed."

"Clare, it's okay. You've got your mom, your dad, Alli, and Adam." I reminded her.

Tears glistened in her eyes. One single tear fell down her cheek.. and that's when the yelling began..

"No Eli, my mom hates every one; and is beginning to drink. My dad hasn't come back yet. Alli is so wrapped up in Drew, that she never even talks to me anymore. And I haven't talked to Adam in forever." She responded. "Your the only person I have!"

"Clare. I'm sorry. I don't want to leave, but I can't stop all of this from happening." I explained, she began crying.

"Eli! Your not even trying to stop it!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"You don't seem like you even care that much! All you care about is dragging me on for the ride!"

"Clare! Stop- rewind- play." I demanded.

"You keep saying_ 'I promise I'll get out of this; every things going to work out'_ - but Eli, your just being an asshole and lying to me! You know you can't get out of this, so why do you keep claiming that you can!" She screamed at me.

I may have finally pushed her to the edge..

"Because I was trying to make myself believe that I could!" I told her.

"That's not a good enough explanation."

"Well, I'm not good enough for you, Clare." I told her. She rolled her eyes.

"Why would you think that?" She asked; she was very mad.

"KC never did this to you! He did one bad thing- and I've done millions. Just go back to him." I replied.

"Eli! You know that's not true, stop playing victim!" She yelled.

"Clare. I'm trying to tell you to get over me!"

"I don't need you telling me what to do!" She argued.

"I'm moving! Do you understand that I'm probably never going to see you again! I'm not allowed to drive back here! Go get another guy, because you'll never see me again." I tried to get her to realize what that meant.

She began crying really hard, she turned her back to me and began walking back towards her house.

I ran my hands through my hair. And grew so angry with myself.

Clare was half way down the block, when I ran towards her.

I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Leave me alone." She demanded, as she turned to me and pushed me off. "That's was the last straw- the last time I'll ever allow you to hurt me." She told me, right before she began walking once again.

I fucked up.. Bad.


	37. Chapter 36

**Princesakarlita411** - Hahah, couldn't agree more. Thanks for the review and for reading my story(: I really appreciate it.  
**DareToDream94** - Haha, awwh(: Thank you for reading and reviewing! (: It means so much to me and to this story.  
**im. an. eclare225 **- Lmao, awwh(: I'm really glad that you liked it - I tried really hard on it(: Thanks so much for the review and for reading my story. I really appreciate your reviews; and it really means a lot to me.  
**DancingintheRayne **- Haha; Thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me and to the story(:  
**zeldaskeeper** - Lmao! I don't think this Bermuda plan is going to work out; all though, I don't think it's a bad plan(: Lmao, thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me.  
**P** - Thanks for reviewing and reading(: It means a lot to me! (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Lmao, agreeeed -thanks for reading and reviewing(: It means lots to me(:  
**Azula Felinae **- You'll have to read and find out(: But for a clue- This is an EClare story, which means EClare is the main couple(: I don't know if that helped, but I hope it did! Haha, Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it.  
**marleyismyhoney** - Lmao, ahh I'm scared :/ Hahaha; Thank you for reading and reviewing! (: I really appreciate it.  
**EliandClare414** - Lmao, Eli's a potty mouth :O haha, and Tonight's episode was insanely cute! Eli has got to be the cutest boy EVEEER. Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing this story! (: I really appreciate it; it means soo much to me(:  
**vampirelovr333** - Awwh/: Don't worry, just keep reading(: Lmao; thanks for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me ! (:  
**DegrassiFan894332** - Oooh, I'll go listen to it now(: Thanks for the suggestion(: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing!  
**peacelovedegrassi **- Lmao, I'm glad you did(: Thanks for the review and for reading my story! (: It means lots to me.  
**J. Stark'sGirl **- You will soon(: Thanks for reading and reviewing! It means so much to me(:  
**xxchannylovexx** - (: Thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It really means a lot to me.

-Honestly, tonight's episode was so fucking amazing. Eli's the cutest boy to ever walk this earth.  
And I liked how Clare was being all rebellious.. But next week; she takes it too far. Haha;  
But I'm hoping the two make up; because they were honest to God adorable tonight! (:  
What did you guys think of the episode?

**-SongSuggestion **; "These Roses" by Gin Wigmore (:  
**And another song suggestion**(; - "The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore" by James Morrison

**MUST READ;** In this chapter, I do Clare's POV for a little bit, towards the end.  
I just wanted to try some thing new by showing what she's thinking in her head.  
The whole story is in Eli's POV, just every once in a while- I might put a chapter in  
Clare's POV (: - Hope you guys like it !

Chapter Thirty Six  
"I Will Stay Addicted To You"

I woke up Monday morning, at 6:30; feeling like hell.

But it was kind of a normal routine for me now a days.. I always woke up feeling like a douche bag.

I'll admit it.. I suck; but I don't care- I can't care. I refuse to let it get to me.

I took a shower and then took a seat at my desk, opening up my laptop.

I went on twitter; I had a twitter account- but never used it. I had only made one because Clare had forced me to.

She claimed _'it was a way to express your feelings in short sentences' _

I wasn't a fan of communicating with people though. I liked keeping to myself.

I was only going to this site to see what Clare had tweeted after our altercation last night.

I went to her page and scrolled down-

I began reading her tweets from last night..

11:59 PM - "Sick and tired of pretending to care for others who don't care for me. I'm done."

12:47 AM - "I can't fall asleep.. which explains my excessive tweeting.. I miss you/:"

1:33 AM - "Well I can't explain why it's not enough; cause I gave it all to you.. And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now; It's the better thing to do.. It's time to surrender, it's been to long pretending. There's no use in trying, when the pieces don't fit anymore."

2:03 AM - "I'll hide all the bruises.. I'll hide all the damage that's done.. But I'll show how I'm feeling, until all the feeling has gone."

2:10 AM - "And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call.. You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all... I will stay addicted to you."

Reading those made me feel sick to my stomach - I was so disgusted in myself.

How could I let her go? How could I hurt her so bad?

I guess I am a jackass.. but I've always known that.

It isn't some thing hard to see. It's pretty obvious.

I got ready for school, all though I didn't want to. Soon, I was in Morty; getting ready to leave.

I dreaded sitting in stupid classes that are insignificant to me and my life. Let's face it, I'm leaving after this week.. What's the point in trying any more?

I pulled up to Degrassi, and sat in my car. I kept my music on, and I just sat there- Blankly staring forward.

I never wanted to see Clare unhappy. But after reading her twitter, I know that she is.

I keep trying to not think about her, or this situation.. But she's all I've got.

Instead of thinking about this for the next half hour- I exited Morty and began walking towards the front doors.

I entered the school and approached Adam, who was talking to his brother; Drew.

"Adam, can I talk to you?" I asked him.

"Sure man." He answered, as he took a few steps from Drew "What's up?"

"I told Clare I was moving.. and we broke up." I told him.

"Ouch man. What did she say?"

"She yelled at me and I was harsh and cruel.. I said things I didn't mean- and she cried."

"Damn." Was all Adam could seem to say.

Yeah, _that really makes me feel better_...

"I know man." I replied. As I said this- I took notice to Clare walking through the front doors.

She stopped and the two of us made eye contact. I could barely breathe as I looked in to her eyes. She then suddenly shook her head and began walking the opposite way of me.

I sighed and looked to the ground - "How do I fix this?" I asked Adam.

"Clare's stubborn. You need to do some thing bigger then you ever have before." He answered "Try to find a way to stay here, instead of moving. I'm positive that she would like that."

"Obviously she would; but it's not going to happen. I've talked to both of my parents- and both are claiming there's no way out. I can't even bring Morty with me.. I'm fucked." I explained to Adam.

"I don't know what to tell you then." He responded.

Thanks for the help...

I sighed once again, and stood there.. Trying to fix some sort of plan in my brain.

* * *

English Class..

I walked in to class five minutes late.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, your late." My teacher informed me.

I clearly knew that.. Thanks for the 'update' asshole..

"Take a seat." My teacher demanded

I nodded and walked to my desk; Clare and I made eye contact as I approached my seat. I then sat down- wanting to turn towards her and tell her I loved her.

But let's face it.. Even if I had told her I loved her.. She wouldn't care.

Clare's done with me, and I don't blame her.. 'Cuz I'd be done with me too..

**-CLARE'S POV-**

God, he was beautiful. His every move was like an angel was present. The way he'd nervously walk towards me and look straight in to my eyes. I was nervous when we made eye contact.. I felt like he could see and hear what I was thinking- what I was feeling.

In honest words- I found Eli to be perfect; the best boy I've ever met in my life.

But he always seemed to mess it up. He always seemed to find some way to screw the whole thing up. As much as I wanted to be with him- I couldn't. I couldn't continue to put myself out there, when all he was going to do was tear me down. He's human; he makes mistakes- I understand that. But how many 'second chances' am I supposed to give this boy?

I don't plan on getting hurt, time after time. Eli causes the pain.. So I have to stop the cause.

On the other hand though.. I'm so in love with this boy. Sure, I'm young- but he is the most perfect boy in the world. When his hands touch mine; I can barely speak. When ever his lips touch mine; I feel butterflies and my lips go numb. Just every little thing he does makes me want him more.

I'm hoping he read my Twitter.. I want him to know that I miss him, but I can't keep dealing with him. I guess I'm sending mixed signals- but he always sends me mixed ones.. So, I refuse to feel bad.

The bell rang, and I just sat there- awaiting for him to turn towards me and give me his beautiful 'half smirk'. Thank God, he did..

"Hey." He softly stated.

Stay strong Clare; Eli's not worth the pain.. Don't give in.

I didn't say anything, I just gave him a blank stare. The best way to show people your done with them is to show no emotion at all. I don't want him back- and I needed to show him that.

"Just talk to me.. _Please_." He begged. God, was he adorable when he begged.

"Hi." I harshly replied; I liked playing _'hard to get'_. He seemed to get so mad that he wasn't winning. Eli expected me to chase after him, that's why I loved making him chase after me.

"Clare. Seriously, can't we make our last week together special?"

-Our last week together.. hearing that just makes it hurt so much more. Although I was refusing to go back to him - I really did not want him to leave.

He held me together.. Even when he was breaking me apart.

"Eli. I quit. Spend your last week with Adam or your mom.. I'm not going to be here to get hurt once more. I'm done- We're done." I told him. I needed to stand up for myself every now and then..

"Clare; I don't want to spend my last days with them. I want to spend them with you."

Please stop.. Your making me want you so much more.

"That's too bad." I, again, played hard to get.

"What about the dance Saturday?" He reminded me. Dammit, I forgot about the dance..

"What about it?"

"You said you'd go with me? Remember? I asked you two weeks ago." He informed me.

I was caught between what I wanted to do and what I should do..

Go to the dance with Eli? Or not go at all?

"I don't know Eli. Maybe you should just go to the dance alone." I know that seemed like a harsh thing to say- but I'm sick of caring. I'm sick of being Saint Clare who gives every one three billion chances. For now on; you hurt me once- and we're done.

"Clare- come on." He begged.

"No Eli. I'm honest to God done. Your leaving on Sunday anyways.. What's the point of getting back together if we're never going to see each other." I responded- as I stood up from my seat, with my books in my hands. "Goodbye Eli."

I then exited the classroom.

I, myself, was even shocked with how confident I was with my decisions. I wanted the boy more then any thing in the world, and I just turned him down.. But right now, I'm not mad at myself.

I know I've messed up though.. But I'm doing this for me; and no one else.

I will always love Eli, though. I'll always be _addicted _to him.


	38. Chapter 37

**im. an. eclare225 **- Hahaha(: Thanks for reading and for the review. It means a lot to me(:  
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**-SongSuggestion**(: - "Whatever It Takes" by Lifehouse (:

Chapter Thirty Seven  
"I'll Do Whatever It Takes"

-Eli's POV-

I arrived home from school and immediately went to my room. Making as minimum noise as possible; considering the fact that I dreaded having conversations with my mother. Let's face it, talking to an intoxicated person wasn't a very enjoyable thing to do.

And as you know, my mother is known to drink. I don't blame her though, I suppose it's understandable. My father treated her so terribly, that it pushed her to the edge. I love her, no matter what. And I've finally came to the point, that I understand that I can't change her.. Even if I want to more then any thing.

I threw my backpack on to my bed, and sat down at the computer. I entered my twitter account and noticed that Clare hadn't tweeted since last night. I also signed on to my Facebook account. Clare was online.. But I doubt she wants to talk to me. I clicked her name..

I typed the words- "Please talk to me"

But instead of sending them, I erased the sentence and closed out of her name. Sure, I look like a wimp, but she honestly doesn't want any thing to do with me. Whats the point in begging and begging for a second chance when we only have like six days left together? I don't blame her for despising me.

I signed on to my Skype account.. If she's on, I'll try to talk to her.

God.. I hope she's on.

_Clare Edwards is Online_

I went to her profile, and put my cursor on the 'call' button. I hesitated, but eventually clicked on to her name. I sat there, as a screen arose- and began making a ringing noise. I was praying for her to accept my call and talk to me. Lucky enough for me, soon- Clare's face popped up on the screen.

"Yes?" She said.

"Hi." I softly and awkwardly responded- _Smooth Eli_... "You answered?"

"Clearly."

I nodded and realized how idiotic my response was before.

"Yeah.." I quietly began "Where's your mom?"

"She's passed out on the floor in her room.. Like always." She responded- "And yours?"

"Same.. Except she's in the living room." I replied- "We should get our mother's together, and they can have a contest to see who can pass out the quickest" I added.

Surprisingly, Clare bursted out in to laughter.

"My mom would own your mom's ass." She replied.

"HA, never." I replied, with a smirk.

"Hopefully you and I won't be like them." She replied. "We'll have to come to our 50th reunion and laugh at each other for being so messed up."

"Hopefully, we'll know each other outside of reunions and school get-togethers." I replied.

"Yeah.." She awkwardly and quietly responded.. It was as if she was already over me.

"Why is this happening?"

"Because your moving."

I seem to be asking and saying really stupid things today..

"I know that. But shouldn't we be taking advantage of this last week?"

"Eli. Don't ruin a friendship that could be beginning.."

"Why can't we just be together for this last week. We can break up on Sunday, and just forget each other- if that's what you want to do." I offered an idea; but let's face it, Saint Clare would never be opened to doing this..

"No Eli." Told you she would.. "I don't want to risk a good friendship that we could possibly have."

"Alright.." I paused "I guess I understand.. I'd feel the same if I were you." That was a complete lie.

I wouldn't feel or do the same, that Clare's doing. I'd want to spend every last minute with her. I'd sneak out at night, just to see her. I'd get up early just to pick her up and go to breakfast.. I'd do any thing and every thing to make her last week as amazing as possible.. Maybe those aren't bad ideas..

"I'm going to go now." I replied. "It's been fun. Bye."

"Wait!-" She yelled; as I looked at her, she paused- "I'll see you around, okay?"

I nodded, and then clicked the 'End Call' button. I couldn't help but smile, as I shut my laptop. Her saying those words made me feel like she still cared.. Like she still wanted me, or wanted to have some thing to do with me. She still loved me... Or at least, I hoped.

* * *

As the night approached- I planned out what I was going to do. As I stated before; sneaking out, and early breakfasts would be an extremely cute thing to do if Clare were to move away.. But, I also see it as being a cute thing to do when I'm moving away..

My plan- to sneak out to Clare's, and show her I care.

As I finished up my homework; I couldn't help but be excited to see this girl. I could barely understand what I was writing down, for my Social Studies homework; but it didn't matter. All that mattered was making Clare happy; whether or not I was passing or failing every class.

I was a failure any way... How much more damage could a few F's do?

I closed my books and shoved them in to my backpack. I then grabbed my keys and put my shoe's on. After doing so, I made sure I had every thing and I looked decent. I walked out the front door and entered Morty

I drove to the Edward's home, and this two minute drive- felt like two years. I was driving slow, to be honest. I guess it was because I was scared; I was scared she wouldn't want to see me, or she'd be mad at me for being all over her- and asking for more chances... when she obviously doesn't want to give me another chance.

Begging her for another chance, that I obviously won't get, seemed stupid. But when it comes to wanting some one; you need to be stupid. You have to follow your heart, not your head. You have to do whatever it takes.. and that's what I was going to do.

I was driving down Clare's block; when I decided to park a few house's down from hers. Let's face it- my car was rare and her parent's would obviously get suspicious if they were to see a hearse parked outside of their home. I parked the car, and made my way to her home. I was right outside of her bedroom window, when I began to plan how I'd climb up there.

And to be honest.. This wasn't going to be easy.

After five minutes of- climbing, falling, and cutting my hands/knees; I was finally opening Clare's window. As I climbed in; I heard her heavily breathing, as if she was more scared then she had ever been before. As I face-planted on to the ground, the lights turned on. I sat up, and noticed Clare sitting on her bed.

"What are you doing?" She quietly asked, with a confused expression on her face.

Breaking in to your house..

"Saying hello?" I replied, with a smile.

"At 11:15, on a school night?"

"What happened to the rebellious Clare, that stayed up past her bed time?" I asked; She rolled her eyes.

"As if she ever existed." As she said this, I stood up and walked over to her bed.

"Nice PJ's." I said with a smirk, as I took notice to her gray tank top and polka-dot pajama pants.

"Sorry, I forgot to dress up for the burglars that break in to my bedroom every night." She joked with me

"Oh my God, they break in to your house too?" I joked back. She softly laughed.

"Eli. I don't think this is a good idea."

"What? Being in your bedroom, unsupervised?" I said, with a suspiciously guilty smile. Clare immediately rolled her eyes.

"_No_. Having a guy friend, who wants to be more then friends, in my room." She responded. Don't pretend like you don't feel the same way, Saint Clare- I can see it in your eyes.

"As if your not happy that I'm here." I replied. She was silent. "Point proven."

"It doesn't matter what I want, or what makes me happy - What matters is- who's going to hurt me."

"I won't hurt you."

"But that's a lie- Eli; On Sunday, your going to hurt me.." She told me "Even if we aren't dating."

"Then can't we at least just hang out every day, and be really amazingly close friends.. I need you to be in my life, in some way.. Whether we're dating, or we're friends. I need it." I begged her.

"I don't know." She softly stated. I then sat down, on the bed, next to her.

"Clare.. I don't care if you hate me, love me, like me, or don't care for me.." I then paused "I'll always care, want, and love you." I told her "I don't care if your engaged to the richest man in the world; I'll always try to win you back. I don't care if your a criminal- I'll always want you."

"I want to say the same.. But I'm scared." She admitted "I'm too fragile to be putting myself out there like this... I'm gonna get hurt."

"Every one in the world gets hurt at some point.. It's just deciding who's worth the pain." I replied "And I know you're worth it- and I hope I am too."

"I don't know, Eli-" She began.. But I cut her off..

By kissing her.

We kissed for a long time; once we pulled away, I couldn't help but be more happy then ever.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I stated, as I stood up from the bed, and exited her room, from the window.


	39. Chapter 38

**Princesakarlita411** - (: Thank you for the review and for reading. I really appreciate it(:  
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HELP! (:  
So I have to write a short story for school, about any thing I want-  
and I honestly can not think of any thing! It can be any topic, about  
any thing I want. If any one has any ideas; I'd really appreciate hearing  
them. I just honestly have the worst writer's block/:

Chapter Thirty Eight  
"Lonely Boy"

I couldn't help but be over-joyed by how I had just handled that situation. Sure, Clare may be upset that I had kissed her -when she didn't want me to. But I know, that in the end, she'll be happy that I did so. I don't think that she's realizing how precious and slim our time is becoming. I need her to believe in me more. I loved this girl; and I needed to prove to her that it was necessary to spend every last waking moment with one another until I was forced to leave.

I layed in my bed, grabbed my laptop, and rested it on my chest. I opened my Facebook, Skype, and Twitter accounts. Ever since Clare and I had broken up - I had found it especially interesting to glance and take a look at these accounts every now and then. This way, I was able to see what Clare was thinking and doing. She claimed that she was a private person - but she posted her ideas, thoughts, feelings and emotions all over the Internet.

I, first, went to her Facebook page. Her last status was posted at 11:35 PM; which happened to be the time that I had left her home-

_"I will stay addicted to you.. Even if I don't want to."_

Hmm, is it egoistical to say that I think this status has some thing to do with me? Well, at least I hope and pray it does. As long as Saint Clare has feelings for me, I'm happy. Even if I can't be with her- I just need to know that she cares. I just need to know that this love is mutual, and that I'm not wasting time and praying on some thing that will never be successful.

I then decided to check her Twitter account. Luckily, she had tweeted once since I had left her home.

11:47 PM - _"You're the only one that hurts, only one that hurts me more than a little bit. More than all the ones before; I would always love you more.. More than a little bit" _

God; it was every sentence and every word that just made me hope and pray that my parents would give in at the end of this. I knew she still cared - it was clearly obvious. Both of her communicating pages claimed that she was_ 'addicted to me' _and that _'she would always love me more then a little bit'. _I just hope that she comes to her senses and just takes me back.

Even if we're only dating till Sunday; I'd still be happy. Just to know that she was still mine was all I wanted. I just needed her to know that we would always have a place for one another in our hearts. No matter where I am, who I am, or what I'm doing - I'll always love Clare Edwards. Many people's response would be- _'In 20 years; your not even going to remember this girl'_ - but that's a lie. I will always remember her, as my first love. And I know I'm young to be saying this, but I hope she's the girl I marry some day.

As I layed my head down on my pillow; I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. I had finally gotten to push my lips against her lips. I may have finally succeeded in getting her back, and I had only been working for one day. On the other hand, we might as well face it - some things going to go wrong.. Clare's not going to want me back; She's going to reject me, and it's going to hurt me more then ever.

Instead of sitting here- planning my heartbreak- I decided to shut my eyes and go to sleep. Which I happily succeeded at doing.

* * *

Tuesday.

I woke up the next morning; not as happy as I had been the night before. I'd blame this sudden unhappy feeling on the fact that it was 7 AM and I had school. School was the one thing that could ruin any amazing mood. I could win three million dollars; and school would still ruin my good mood. But at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that every single teenager in the world is feeling this sudden hatred towards education as I am.

I forced myself out of bed, and then brushed my teeth. I grabbed an outfit, and walked down the stairs. I made myself a poptart and grabbed a juice box - I know; juice boxes are kind of for kids, and may make me seem_ 'less of a man'_, but honestly.. How could you not love juice boxes?

I grabbed my back pack and went out the front door; I made my way to Morty and sat in the driver's seat. For a moment or two; I just sat there. Dreading the thought of seeing the name 'Degrassi' spelled out across the front of a school building. I didn't even want to see, hear, or think about the words Degrassi. I know that I've never really expressed my hatred towards the school- but I have four days left here.. I'd rather not spend most of them at that school.

Instead of sitting in my parked car, in front of my house, for the rest of the day - I decided to begin driving towards Degrassi. I may have been driving slower then usually; but I was willing to do any thing to stall going to school. Even though, I had been driving extremely slow - I eventually pulled up to Degrassi.

I parked Morty and immediately exited my car. I closed the car door, and looked around me. Degrassi was such an.. interesting place. People were so different from one another. All around me were cheerleaders, jocks, nerds, bullies, emo's and average kids. My appearance would land me in the category- Emo. But in my mind, I wasn't a category. Sure, I dressed in all black a lot- and listened to dark music; but that has nothing to do with my personality or thoughts.

I don't mind people judging me anymore, I suppose that I've learned to accept the fact that I'm not a jock or a nerd. I've finally come to face reality that I'm one of those 'outsider' kids. As Clare has told me before- every one had this idea that I was obsessed with death. This rumour happened to be false. I've experienced the pain of losing some one, but that doesn't mean that I'm _obsessed_ with it. It means that I understand it.

I entered Degrassi and walked towards my locker. Once I reached it- I took notice to Adam who had been waiting there for me.

"What up?" I greeted him, as he backed away from my locker- giving me room to unlock it.

"How's the whole Clare situation?" He asked, interested on how I handled this whole moving thing.

"We broke up and she was refusing to grant me another chance. I then decided to take matters in to my own hands- and sneak over to her house, at 11:15ish last night. She was surprised when I came in to her window; but she didn't seem mad. I stayed and talked for a while- and right before I left- I kissed her. With out giving her time to respond, I left." I explained to him the situation.

"Damn. When did your life become a dramatic television show?" Adam asked, with a grin on his face.

"Ever since Saint Clare came in to it." I gave an answer, smiling afterward.

From the corner of my eye- I took notice to that beautiful, blue-eyed, curly-headed girl. She was wandering the halls; seeming to avoid eye contact with every one- as she looked down at her feet and shut out the world. Clare always seemed to isolate herself from others.. That's why I had the urge to break down her walls.

I stepped in front of her, and she bumped right in to me. She looked up at me nervously- and she looked like she had no idea what to say or think.

"Eli." She said my name, as if she had never said it before. "Hey."

Alright.. Saint Clare is exceptionally awkward this morning..

"Hey." I replied, giving her a suspiciously confused look- "What's got you all nervous this morning?"

She shrugged, "Oh nothing." She answered. "Can you meet me, for lunch, at the Dot?" She asked.

"Sure." I answered- unsure of what she had planned. She nodded and walked past me.

"Well that was awkwardly suspicious." Adam stated, I turned to him and couldn't agree more.

* * *

Through first and second period- I couldn't help but wonder and wonder what Clare had been wanting to talk about. She was so nervous, and so frightened- I couldn't even began to wonder what had happened. As much as I wanted it to be some thing good, I couldn't help but believe it was some thing bad. Let's face it - the girl looked like she was about to break down. Obviously, she wasn't okay. But then again, nothing could be wrong - nothing _should_ be wrong.

I let out deep breaths and stared the clock down. The clock had thirty seconds left on it, until the bell for lunch rang. And God, were those last thirty seconds long. As I sat there- growing more nervous by the moment- I watched the clock. Begging and begging for it go faster. Lucky for me, it wasn't too long before the lunch bell rang.

I sprung out of my seat and fast-walked out of class. I went to my locker as quick as possible, and threw my books in- not bothering to even attempt at organizing them. I then grabbed my wallet, and stuck it in my pocket. After doing all of this; I made my way to Clare's locker. As I approached it - I saw her sticking all of her things in to her locker.

"Hey there." I greeted her, with a smile. She immediately looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey." She softly replied.

"Why did you want to go to the Dot?" I asked- I wanted answers, and I was beginning to grow impatient.

"You can wait and see." She responded, smirking.

"Ah- I don't know if I can." I joked with her.

"You can." She stated, with a suspicious smile.


	40. Chapter 39

**Princesakarlita411** - Hahaha; awwh, I'm glad you think so(: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me. (:  
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**munrochambersismylifemb** - Awwh(: And, I have no idea! I really hope that Eli doesn't stay mad at her though. Although, I would understand why he would be mad.. She is taking this whole 'rebelling' thing a little too far. Hopefully, every thing works out by the end of the episode! (: What do you think will happen? And; Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so so much to me! (:

-This chapter is so short, but for a good reason... (:

Chapter Thirty Nine  
"Feel Like I Can Breathe"

Clare and I pulled up, in Morty, in front of the Dot. I smiled at her, before opening the door and exiting the car, Clare did the same. She came around and I grabbed her hand. We walked in the Dot together, and took a seat in a booth. I was over-excited, I needed to know what she wanted to say, what she wanted to do; what was going to happen. I was begging for the words _'I want you back' _to come out of her mouth.

"How's school?" I asked, making small talk first.

"Good.." She answered quietly, it seemed as if that wasn't what she really wanted to talk about.

"So.." I paused "What did you want to talk about?" I jumped straight in to the question that was bouncing around in my head. She hesitated to speak; she looked at me, as if she had no answer for my question.. She soon began speaking.

"Eli. Your leaving on Sunday."

Yeah.. I kind of already knew that?

"And..?" I replied, confused to where she was going with this.

"It's really going to hurt me when you leave." She paused "You mean so much to me. Your the only person I have right now. My parents are so out of their minds lately- and it's like, your the only person that allows me to escape this dramatic situation. But soon enough.. your going to be the dramatic situation that I'm attempting to escape from." She looked at me- and suddenly smiled. "But I'm willing to make this work.. For these last few days, at least."

A huge smile spread across my face; I stood up from the booth, and stood by her- while she remained sitting. I then kissed her so passionately, putting every single last bit of joy in that kiss. We pulled away, and I placed my forehead against hers. Just knowing that she was mine, was all I wanted.

"I love you." I whispered- as our foreheads rested on one anothers.

"I love you too."

* * *

I arrived home, from school, nothing could bring my mood down. Nothing at all could ruin the way I was feeling right now. I was in love.. More in love then I had ever been before. She was perfect - _we_ were perfect. Every thing in my life was finally fitting together. Nothing could stop my happiness now. Absolutely nothing.

As I entered my home; I could hear silence. Although, I'm used to it being silent.. This kind of silence seemed different. My mother's car was parked out, in front, which meant that she was home. I searched the whole first floor- No sign of my mother. I then made my way upstairs- and yet again, there was no sign of my mother. I decided to give up; and walked towards my room.

As I reached my room, I took notice to a note that was taped to my bedroom door. I suspiciously took the note off the door, and began reading.

_"Dear Eli,_  
_I'm out to dinner with your father; to discuss this moving situation.. Call me when you read this.  
Love,_  
_Mom."_

I immediately called my mother, hoping and praying that she had solved this whole situation-

"Eli?"

"Mom! What happened with dad?" I asked, excitedly.

"We're not getting married again. But he's going to come to live with us; this way- you don't have to move."


	41. Chapter 40

**J. Stark'sGirl** - Hahaha(: Thanks for reading and reviewing; it means a lot to me(:  
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**im. an. eclare225** - Haha; will do(: And are you talking about in the real show? If you are - I'm not sure who I want Fiona to end up with; I suppose that I'll have to see how Adam and Drew act around her- Although, I think I'm Team Adam too! (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing! (: I really do appreciate it; It means a lot(:  
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-Thank you guys so much for the reviews! (: This is the most reviews  
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Thank you so much!

**-SongSuggestion**; "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard (:

Chapter Forty  
"We Could Leave This Town And Run Forever"

I immediately closed my cell phone - my adrenaline rising up in side of me. I ran as fast as possible, sprinting down the stairs and out the door. I knew exactly where I was running, and I loved the feeling. I loved knowing that I was going to see Clare; I loved the feeling that I was finally going to make her happy. I just loved the feeling that she gave me.

I turned down her street, and ran the fastest I could. As I reached her house, I texted her saying- "Come outside." It took her barely a minute before she was coming out of her front door. She looked at me confused, as I was out of breath- gasping for air. She gave me a suspicious look, as she walked up to me and stared me in the eyes.

"You're never going to believe me." I simply stated - not giving her much detail or any clues. She shrugged.

"Believe what?" Clare asked, softly brushing her bangs out of her face. I calmed my breathing down, before smiling at her. "Eli. You're scaring me." She stated, smiling after. I softly laughed and looked down and back up at her.

"What would you say if my dad was moving back here, and I was staying?" I said with a smile; Clare's jaw dropped and quickly formed in to a huge smile. She thew herself at me and hugged me, tighter then ever before. I wrapped my arms around her, and I could feel our happiness colliding with one anothers.

"You promise your not lying?" She said, with a smile, as we pulled away- but kept our arms around each other. I couldn't help but smile-

"I promise."

"Good; because if you were going to leave, things would _not_ have been okay." She responded, smiling.

I laughed and kissed her softly- "Let's get away." I began. "We've been under so much pressure, and so much drama- that it's our time to have fun. We'll just take off. We'll get some stuff - get Morty - and just go where ever we want to." I suggested. I wasn't going to lie - What I was saying sounded pretty rebellious; but convincing.

A small smile formed on Clare's face- she seemed as if she was already giving in.

"And where would we go?" Clare asked; with a tempting smile.

"_Anywhere_. We don't need to plan it out - we just need to get away."

"Fine." She agreed.

Saint Clare.. I was turning her in to a devil.

"Just don't even get your things! I just want to get away for one day; we won't be gone for long." I promised. She nodded and smiled.

"You realize that this is probably the most idiotically pointless idea we've ever had?" She asked, with a rebellious smile on her face.

"Oh trust me; _I know_." I laughed.

She smiled, and grabbed on to my hand- as we made our way towards my house.

* * *

We were driving Morty around; and it felt amazing. We had been driving for a half hour; and to be honest- I had no idea where we were. But I didn't mind; all that mattered was that I was with Clare. The song "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman turned on, and Clare immediately turned the radio volume up extremely loud.

"Don't you love this song?" She asked, in excitement.

I glanced over at her, before replying- "I don't like this type of music."

Ignoring my comment, Clare began to sing along with the song.

"_You've got a fast car, I wanna a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere- any place is better. Starting from zero, got nothing to lose. Maybe we'll make something - me, myself, I've got nothing to prove_" She loudly sang.

"Clare- I'd like to not have my ears permanently damaged." I joked; she quickly smacked my arm. I couldn't help but laugh. Surprisingly, Clare was actually a decent singer. She kept a tune and never went off pitch.. Saint Clare, you never fail to surprise me.

"_Remember when we were driving, driving in your car - Speed so fast; it felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us - And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I had a feeling that I belonged. I had a feeling I could be someone_." She sang the chorus. I looked over at her and smiled- as she seemed to be enjoying herself.

"This song kind of reminds me of us." She stated, looking at me. I nodded and could understand where she was coming from. "What song reminds you of me?" She asked curiously. Good Question. I had never really thought about it..

"Honestly?"

"One hundred percent honesty." She replied.

"This is going to sound weird- but the song "Problem" by The Job."

"_What_?" She replied, confused. The song wasn't what you would call _romantic_.

"Remember when we first met? Outside of Degrassi, and I ran your glasses over?" I asked.

"Of course. How could I forget?" She answered.

"That song was playing in my car, when we were talking." I explained. She smiled.

"Please tell me there's another song that reminds you of me?" She begged- smiling.

I let out a small laugh and looked at her - "Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard" I answered.

"Awwh, that's so sweet." Clare said, smiling.

"What song reminds you of me?" I asked. She hesitated; but then answered-

"The Only Exception by Paramore."

"And why is that?" I asked, unfamiliar with the song.

"The beginning is about how her parents were a mess, and she promised she'd never sing of a love if love doesn't exist. But in the end; the guy she's with is her love and he's her only exception." She explained to me, with a huge smile on her face towards the end of her explanation.

"So.. I'm your _only exception_?" I asked, with a flirtatious smile. She shrugged, with a suspicious smile.

"Maybe." She answered. "Maybe not."

I jokingly rolled my eyes; and the two of us became silent- as I put my focus back on the road. I decided, that since we are totally and completely lost- that I would pull over to an empty field, just to take a break. I looked at the radio clock, and the time read - 5:18 PM. I ignored the time, and parked the car.

"Let's take a break." I replied; with out even giving her a say in this- I exited the car, and she did the same.

I walked on to the field, and sat down. Clare came over and sat down across from me. I then proceeded to lay down on the grass; feeling so exhausted. Clare crawled over to me, and layed down next to me.

"What's your favorite memory?" She asked me.

"Meeting you." I answered; _Smooth Talkin' Eli Goldsworthy_..

She looked over at me- and kissed my cheek. "Your a suck up, Eli Goldsworthy. Tell me your _real _favorite memory."

Clare always seemed to see through my suck up comments; I let out a small laugh.

"Honestly; our first kiss together was the best day of my life.. up until Fitz tried to stab me."

Clare smiled and nodded- "Good." She then paused "'Cuz that's mine too."


	42. Chapter 41

**DareToDream94** - Hahaha, Awwh(: I'll try not to(: Hahaaha. Thanks for reading and reviewing; it really means a lot to me(:  
**Dancingintherayne **- Haha, will do(: Thank you for reviewing and reading my story- it means so much to me(:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Hahahah- I love saying "awwwh" (: Hahaa. The episode was totally crazy; and I was scared for EClare, but I think that next episode might be happier! Hopefullly :P Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it(:  
**ANIMEnerdk333** - (: Haha, awwh; thank you(: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it(:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl -** Haha; awwwwh(: Thank you so so so so much for reading and reviewing. It honestly means so much to me; I really do appreciate it! (: Again; Thank you! (:  
**im. an. eclare225** - Haha; Pointless drives are always fun :P hahaha, thanks for reading and reviewing this story. It really does mean a lot to me, and I really do appreciate it(:  
**sassy selena** - Haha; awwh(: I'm glad you enjoy my song suggestions(: I don't know why I put them; It's kind of pointless to put them in my chapters- but I always tend to have the need to! (: Haha; Thanks so so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and this story- I really appreciate it(:  
**vampirelovr333** - (: Haha; Thank you for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**EliandClare414** - Awwh, I'm really glad you liked it(: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story; it honestly means so much to me and to this story! (:  
**clareandeliforever** - Haha; awwh, I'm happy that you are(: Thank you for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me. (:  
**Azula Felinae **- Lol; Thanks for reading and reviewing(: I really appreciate it! (:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Haha, Awwh; I'm glad it made you laugh(: Thank you for reading and reviewing. It really means a lot to me(:  
**MadameDegrassi96** - (: Hahaha, Thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me and to this story. (:  
**zeldaskeeper** - Lmao! I'm glad you like my story! (: Hahahaha, Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me.  
**Kaity-Chan** - Haha, awwh I'm glad they make you happy(: Hahaha; Thank you for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it(:  
**crazyangelz15** - (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It honestly means so much to me(:

-Degrassi was crazy on Friday! I really was scared for Eli and Clare;  
but next week - they look like they made up.. I wonder if Eli's going  
to let her spend the night! :O lmfao. (: What'd you guys think of  
the episode?

**SongSuggestion**(: - "Superman" by Joe Brooks

-PS; sorry for not updating. I had a crazy weekend :P

Chapter Forty One  
"Superman"

We walked the streets - completely unaware of where we are or where we were heading.. All that mattered was that we were with each other.

"How's your dad?" I asked; breaking the silence, but also bringing up a personal topic. She hesitated to answer and looked down at her feet- she soon looked up and stared forward, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Still gone." She simply answered, with no emotion.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No communication since the day he left." She admitted. "It sucks, but I'm getting used to it."

I held out my hand, and Clare stared at it- She waited a second, or two, and finally grabbed on to my hand. We held hands tightly-

"I'll be here." I softly told her. "_Always_." She immediately looked at me and smiled.

"Good." She then paused "'Cuz I need you."

I stopped walking and pulled her hand back- causing her to stop. I then kissed her softly, but intensely. We pulled away and I rested my forehead against hers. She then kissed me quickly and turned to walk.

"Why in such a hurry, Saint Clare?" I asked, as I began walking with her.

"First off - Don't call me Saint Clare; because I'm far from a Saint-" She began; I immediately interrupted.

"How so?"

"I've done many non-Saint things." She protested, I let out a laugh- and she gave me a frustrated look.

"Like what?" I challenged her- I wanted to know what she thought was _so rebellious_.

"I snuck through your window that one night!" She answered "I skipped English class with you." She continued.

"Psh- that's immature rebellion - you could never compete with the stuff I do." I replied- frustrating her by using an egoistical voice.

"Hmm, really?" She paused "And what incredibly rebellious actions have you committed lately?" Clare was confident that she was just as _'bad'_ as I was.. She was so wrong.

"First off- I drink, when your completely against it. I fight guys, when your against violence. I poisoned Fitz. I got Fitz arrested." I continued giving examples until she stopped me -

"Alright your a bad ass - _I get it._" She replied, angry at her defeat. I smirked.

"Your pretty _bad_ yourself" I said with a smile, as I put my arm around her. She smiled and held on to my hand that was wrapped around her shoulders.

"I'm so sick of people." She stated; "Well _besides you_."

"And why is that?"

"I just am." She stated her reason.

Waita explain yourself..

"Explain." I simply demanded.

"Every one makes stupid decisions, and it effects every one around them." She told me.

"Gimme' an example."

"My parents. They seem to act like their divorce and their actions have no effect on me. My mom pretends like her continuous drinking won't effect me. My father acts like he can isolate himself from his family and the people who love him- without effecting every one. I just want to tell them that it hurts me.. It's hard." She seemed to pour out all of her heart to me.

That's what I liked about Clare.

She was willing to tell me any thing and every thing - Even if she thought I wouldn't agree, or wouldn't like hearing it. Clare seems to really trust me and allow herself to speak her mind when she's around me. I couldn't ask for any thing more.

"Tell them." I stated. She gave me a confused facial expression- So, I decided to explain; "You have to let them know how pissed off you are. Remember when you wrote that paper for English, about how you just wanted to know the truth about your parents? Just do the same thing- with out having to write it down, and about how you need them to think of you, instead of being so selfish."

"I don't know Eli-" I quickly interrupted her-

"Clare. Do you really want to have to deal with your selfish parents for a long time? All you have to do is tell them that it's bothering you- that they're bothering you." I responded; giving her more reasons to tell them. I could see it in her face; that I had convinced her to do it.

"Your right." She murmured. "But.. I think I should wait till Darcy comes home. She'll be home Wednesday."

"Good plan." I stated with a smile.

"Thank you, Eli, for listening." She replied. looking me in the eyes.

"Any time.. _Babe_." I replied, smirking towards the end- She kissed me.


	43. Chapter 42

**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Awwh; (: Thank you so much! It really does mean a lot to me(: And also; thank you for reading and reviewing(: I really do appreciate it! (:  
**EliandClare414** - Thank you for understanding(: Haha. And I'm guessing the same thing. I hope they have a sleepover! Haha(: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means so much to me! (:  
**DareToDream94 **- Hahaha; I'm glad you think so! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**Kaity-Chan** - Hahahah; Eli's just too nice of a person :P hahha. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate it(:  
**Dancingintherayne **- Lol, will do(: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me(:  
**Azula Felinae** - I hope he does too; I think Eli's a very understanding person and I hope he understands that Clare really does need him right now. Hopefully every thing works out! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. It means a lot to me and to the story(:  
**im. an. eclare225 **- Darcy is coming back(: Thank you for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me(:  
**sassy selena **- Awwh, I'm glad that you think it's realistic - I really do try and make things as real and reasonable as possible. I'm glad you liked the song! (: I listen to the song suggestions when I'm writing the chapters. Music is kind of an inspiration to me and my writing(: I'm really really am happy that you enjoy my writing and my story! It means so much to me! (: Thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing; I really appreciate it(:  
**zeldaskeeper** - Lmao! I would love to be Clare. I wish I was dating Eli. :P Haha. Thanks so so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me and to my story. (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Hahaha, awwh; I love reading Eli/Clare fanfictions because I love reading all the cute things that people write about. It gives me butterflies too! :P And awwwh(: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me(:

**SongSuggestion**(: - "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum  
I'm sure that you've all heard this song; it's pretty popular. I never really  
listened to the song much, but the song was inspiration for this chapter(:

-I tried to make this chapter longer then usual, considering the fact that  
my latest chapters have been pretty short. Sorry about that(:

Chapter Forty Two  
"Picture Perfect Memories"

We stopped at a street bench; I quickly and unnoticeably took my phone out of my pocket- to check the time. I didn't want Clare to catch on, because I was almost positive that if she saw it was past 7, that she would claim that we needed to be home immediately. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her..

"Maybe we should do some more self embarrassment tonight? Maybe have a dance off in the middle of the street? - or better yet, a sing off!" I joked. Clare laughed and rolled her eyes.

"God. You and KC are the same people." She told me.

Low blow.

"Ouch.." I murmured; breaking our eye contact, and putting my focus and eyes straight forward. From the corner of my eyes, I could see her guilty and worried look.

"No- not like that." She began "You guys both called me out for being embarrassed easily. Both of you forced me to face my fear of public humiliation.. Lucky enough, yours wasn't _as_ bad." She told me.

I was interested.. I wonder what KC had made her do that was less bad as what I made her do..

"What happened with KC?" I asked curiously.

"It was at lunch time; we were sitting at the same table and he began talking about how I was so unassure of myself- or some thing along the lines of that. So, to prove my braveness, I got up on the Lunch Entertainment stage and sung a church hymn." She explained.

I immediately bursted out in to complete laughter.

"That was you?" I yelled, remembering this incident. Although Clare and I are in the same class, we never bumped in to each other. But I sure as hell remember some tiny, uniform-wearing, smart girl getting up on stage and singing. I mean.. How can you forget some thing so embarrassing?

"You saw me?" She yelled- looking at me like I was from some other planet.

"Yeah! I've always attended Degrassi." I told her. "Every one began throwing food at you and laughing"

"And were you one of those people?" She asked; my face read guilty- but I tried to make my words seem innocent.

"Oh- uhm, of course not." I lied.

Her jaw dropped, but turned in to a smile- She hit my shoulder- "You threw stuff at me?"

"_Maybe_." I replied- implying that I had been one of the many people who threw food and insignificant items at her.

"I'm in shock, Eli Goldsworthy. I thought you were a well-mannered gentleman.. Not a vicious bully." She joked with me- I couldn't help but chuckle.

"If I had gotten up on stage and sung a church hymn- what would you have done?" I asked.

"Applaud you for your attempt at singing." She answered; I immediately laughed, as did she.

"Liar!" I replied, still laughing.

"Alright- Fine! I would've thrown food at me too." Clare admitted- us both laughing.

It was kind of funny how we always knew each other.. secretly, in a way.

"I think it's pretty interesting that you never realized that the girl on stage was me." She told me.

"Well, you're a lot different then you were then."

"How so?" She asked, seeming as if she wanted detail.

"Well.." I began "Back then- you were very unassure of yourself, you wore your uniform because you just wanted to fit in; instead of being an individual, you tied your hair back as tight as possible, and you wore glasses." I explained.

"How am I now?"

"Your very assure of yourself, your an individual and you express that, you let your hair down, you are just.. _perfect_."

Clare immediately smiled, and looked down at her lap- "I wish I could say the same about you." She responded, giggling after.

"Oh, Clare Edwards- you must apologize now, before I teach you a lesson." I jokingly demanded.

"Never!" She yelled, giggling. I then began tickling her. She was uncontrollably laughing, as she layed back on the bench. I tickled her as fast as possible- making it impossible for her to stop laughing.

"Say sorry, or I'll never stop!" I told her.

"Never!" She yelled, once again.

"Fine- choose your own fate, Edwards!" I yelled back- continuing to tickle her.

Clare laughed at the top of her lungs- as she attempted to fight off my hands - "Fine, fine, fine! I'm sorry!" She yelled, surrendering.

"That's not good enough!" I replied; not stopping.

"_Your_ not good enough!" She joked- I then, began tickling her even more intensely. She laughed even louder then before.. "Eli! I was kidding, I was kidding! Your totally perfect and I don't deserve you!" She yelled, begging and begging for me to stop.

"And?" I replied, making her compliment me more.. This was fun.

"Your beautiful and totally awesome!" She yelled, between giggles.

"And?"

"I love you!"

I finally stopped tickling her and smiled.

"The three magic words - well done, Edwards." I told her, grabbing both of her hands- helping her sit up from the bench.

"That was _torture_." She told me.

"Psh; get over it." I told her- "Plus; I need to ask you some thing."

"What is it?"

"Your still going to go to the dance with me Saturday, right?"

"Of course." She paused for a moment "Well as long as your not dodging knifes.. _as usual_."

Once again- _Low Blow_.

"Ouch Edwards." I responded "As long as your going to the dance with me- I'll let that one slide."

"Of course I'm going to the dance with you; Why wouldn't I?" She questioned me.

"I was just reassuring myself; so that I didn't show up to your house, ready to go to a dance, for you to completely turn me down." I explained, she smiled.

"That would be pretty entertaining." She replied smiling-

"Thanks Clare." I stated, smiling after- "So, when do I get to meet Darcy?"

For a reason, that was unknown to me, Clare rolled her eyes.

"Am I missing some thing?" I asked, confused to why she was suddenly disturbed at the idea of me meeting her sister..

"No." She simply stated; in an unhappy tone.

"Spit it out, Edwards." I demanded. She hesitated to speak- but soon did.

"It's just... Every one sees Darcy as this perfect girl that is undeniably beautiful, smart, funny, nice, generous, helpful, popular, and just flat out perfect. She always makes new friends- and every boy bows down for her. She's like the definition of perfect." Clare then paused "And then.. there's me.. Who every one sees as _Darcy's little sister _- also known as; the girl who isn't as funny, smart, beautiful, popular and cool as Darcy." She paused once again. "Your going to meet Darcy and be overwhelmed by how amazing she is. By meeting her; your going to realize that I'm far from perfection.. and I'm not the _greatest_ girl out there. You'll probably even end up falling for my sister. Just.. I don't want to lose you." She explained.

"Clare." I said, catching her attention "Don't ever think like that. I don't care if your sister is a super model - you are the most beautiful, amazing, brilliant, funny, nice, popular- and just flat out _amazing_ girl out there. There's no way I could ever question your perfection. I could never pick a girl over you; your sister is not as amazing as you are." I told her. Her cheeks turned a bright red, as she smiled shyly.

We walked back towards the car, and entered the passenger and driver's seat. I turned the car on, and reached for the radio station changer. I glanced at Clare, and moved my hand back to the steering wheel.

"Pick the station." I told her. She looked at me with a confused smile.

"You sure?" She asked, acknowledging how serious I was about my music. I nodded- She smiled and began searching for a song.

She finally stopped at some station, and looked over at me. The rest of the ride home was pleasantly silent- with a few random comments and conversations here and there- but nothing too specific. We enjoyed one anothers silence; the music was loud enough to cover up the awkwardness that you might assume would be there. Although, Clare and I were never awkward. We always kept each other interested. It was like a suspenseful movie.. you just don't know what to expect next.

* * *

I pulled up to the Edwards home at 8:55 PM. I parked Morty, and slowly turned my head to look at her. She looked me in the eyes, and I could read the sad feeling she was feeling.

"I don't want to go home." She said, unhappily. I smiled and nodded-

"Me neither." I told her, she leaned in and kissed me once.

"Call me tonight - I really would like to be distracted from my mother." I smiled-

"I'll be your _distraction_." I responded; she smiled and kissed me once again. "See you tomorrow Saint Clare." She rolled her eyes and softly laughed. Without replying, she got out of the car. She was halfway to the door, when she turned back and walked towards the car. I rolled down my window to see what she wanted-

"Thank you.. For staying and for today and all. It means a lot." She awkwardly told me. I smiled;

"_Anytime_." I replied, before she smiled once more and made her way to her home.

I watched her enter her house, and stayed sitting there for a few more moments. I drove off- heading towards my house.. I couldn't be any happier.

* * *

That night;

It was 12 o'clock, and I was sitting in my bed. I hadn't called Clare yet, but she also didn't talk to me since I dropped her off.. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to call her or not- but I was far too tired to find out. I know.. that sounds selfish; but I'll make it up to her tomorrow.

I was sitting in my bed- reading some random comic that Adam had given to me; when my phone lit up and the name on the caller ID read- "Saint Clare". I smiled and immediately flipped open my shitty phone- I let out a deep breath before speaking-

"Hey there. What's up?" I asked; I heard shuffling coming from the other end of the line and immediately became suspicious.

"Eli. I need help." She told me, I realized that she was crying when she said this.

"With what? What's the matter?" I asked- concerned out of my mind, as I put the comic down and stood from my bed.

"My mom was screaming and yelling so I left my house- and I don't know where to go. And I'm scared." She rambled "I need you."

"Where are you?" I asked- willing to go get her.

"Degrassi's front steps." She informed me.

"Wait there." I demanded, before hanging up and grabbing my shoes and keys. I ran to my car and sped off. I didn't want her to be alone.. I didn't want her to cry by herself.. I wanted her to know that I was there for her. No matter what.

I pulled up to Degrassi, and immediately got out of the car- slamming the door behind me. I ran to the front steps; and saw Clare sitting there, with her face buried in her lap, as she cried. I ran to her and kneeled down in front of her.

"Clare- Clare- talk to me." I begged, placing my hands on her knees. She looked up at me; her cheeks a rosy red and her tears flowing every where.

"I can't be at home- it's hell." She told me; I had never seen her this hurt.

"Why? What happened?" I begged and begged for answers. In order for me to help her; I needed to know what was going on.

"My mom was drinking all day and was really drunk. Even though I said I was going to wait for Darcy- I decided to take matters in to my own hands and deal with my parents. I told my mother that I hated the way she had been acting and I hated the way her and my father were being so selfish. She continuously screamed about how I didn't care and I was just like my father. I yelled back.. I was stupid. She slapped me across the face- and I just couldn't be there anymore- so I sprinted out of my house and ended up here." She explained. "I originally planned to go to your house, but I didn't want you to find out what happened."

"Why didn't you want me to know?" I asked, using my thumb to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.

"I was embarrassed." She admitted; I looked at her sympathetically, as I pulled her in to hug me.

"Clare- don't ever be embarrassed to tell me things like that. I'm always here. Trust me, I'll never let you down." I reassured her, as she cried in to my shoulder. I let her cry, and we sat at Degrassi for fifteen minutes before her crying calmed down. "What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I can't go back home.. at least not tonight." She explained "Can I just spend the night?" She asked.

"Uhm.. Sure." I wasn't too sure if this was a good idea; but if she wanted to, then I didn't mind.

We entered Morty and made our way over to my house. We entered through the front door, quietly- avoiding conversation with my mother. We made our way up the stairs and to my room. I closed the door behind me, and I watched as Clare sat down on my bed. I sat down next to her, and hugged her.

"Do you need to talk about it?" I asked, making sure that she wasn't bottling up any feelings inside of her.

"No. Not right now- tomorrow maybe." She answered. She then layed back on my bed. I layed next to her and pulled the blankets over us. We sat in silence, as I softly played with her curls. She rested her head against the side of my stomach.

"Clare." I softly whispered her name.

"Yeah." She quietly replied.

"I love you." I stated.

"I love you too."


	44. Chapter 43

**Azula Felinae** - Hahaha, yeah- Poor Clare got up in front of the entire school and sang! :P lmfao. That episode was really embarrassing, but slightly funny (: Hahaha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing(: It means a lot to me.  
**DareToDream94** - It is a really cute song(: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it, a lot(:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Hahaa; I like your choice of words(: Lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly does mean a lot to me and to the story! (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Hahaha lmao! Interesting story! (: Hahha. And; I'm glad that you enjoy the connection they have in my story(: It means a lot to me. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it(:  
**im. an. eclare225** - I'm so excited for Friday's episode! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me and to the story(:  
**MadameDegrassi96 -** Hahaah, awwwwh (: Thank you so much; it means a lot to me(: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it - It means so much to me and to the story(:  
**EliandClare414** - I used to like KC too! I thought he was such a cutie and he was so funny! Then, he broke Clare's heart and went for Jenna. After the whole Clare/KC/Jenna thing, I wasn't a fan of KC. I don't like him too much anymore/: But if KC had never broken Clare's heart - then Clare would have never met Eli! So at least one good thing came out of that situation! (: Hahah. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story(: It means a lot to me! (:  
**AWalkToRememberLover** - Hahaha awwh(: Thank you so much; I'm glad you liked it(: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing my story(: It means a lot to me and to the story - I really appreciate it(:  
**munrochambersismylifemb** - Hahha- here's a new chapter! (: And awwh! That's so sweet(: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! I honestly appreciate it, and it means a lot to me(:  
**zeldaskeeper **- Hahahah lmao! I love your reviews; They always make me laugh. (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Will do(: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it(:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Awwh(: I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and reviewing; it means so much to me and to the story(:

**-SongSuggestion**(: - "Be Here Now" by As Tall As Lions  
As Tall As Lions is one of my favorite bands- and I would  
definitely suggest listening to them! (:  
**-AnotherSongSuggestion**(: - "Every Word She Said" by Lost Ocean

Chapter Forty Three  
"Hanging On To Every Word She Said"

Wednesday morning.

My eyes flickered open to the sunlight shining through my bedroom window. I squinted my eyes as I reached over Clare to pull the curtains over them. I then layed back down and turned my head towards Clare. I watched her sleeping - She looked like an angel. I softly brushed her hair out of her face, with my thumb. The minute her hair was pushed out of her face, her eyes slowly opened.

"Good morning." I whispered to her, with a soft smile. She looked so tired. It didn't matter though- to me, she looked beautiful.

"Hi." She softly replied- attempting to fully awaken herself. "What time is it?"

"7. Don't worry; I won't _make you_ skip school again." I answered, she smiled and sat up from the bed.

"If I didn't have a huge Science test today.. Then I would definitely be skipping." She informed me, I softly laughed.

"Of course you would, Saint Clare." I joked with her. She rolled her eyes, as I sat up from the bed and sat next to her. "What's your plan?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to go home and getting clothes or do you want to borrow a sweatshirt?" I asked. She shrugged and didn't seem to really mind what she did.

"I suppose I'll go home." She told me. "But can you come with me?"

I nodded - understanding why she wouldn't want to be alone. I decided to grab all my stuff, before leaving, so that we wouldn't have to come back to my house. I brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, and grabbed my backpack and other things.

"Let's go." I demanded, as Clare stood up from the bed and walked towards the bedroom door. We walked down the stairs and out the door. Once we were in Morty, we began driving towards the Edward's home. I was a little nervous..

I didn't want to sound like less of a man then I already was - but her mother seemed like she was out of her mind, and I didn't want to be that guy who got in between a crazy mother and her daughter. I suppose that I'm not too scared though.. But I'm also not too excited.

I parked Morty in front of her house, and Clare and I stared at each other.

"I'm scared." I admitted, Clare bursted out in to laughter and I smiled.

"There's nothing to be scared of. My moms probably drunk and passed out on the couch." She assured me "Now- shut up and let's go." She demanded, smiling. We exited Morty and made our way to her front door. All the happiness and smiles faded down once we stood in front of the door. Clare placed her hand on the door knob and hesitated to open it. After letting out a deep breath, she opened the door and took a step inside.

She took a minute to listen- to see if her mother was awake or passed out. I stood behind her. After standing there, still as a rock, for a few moments- Clare finally began walking towards the staircase.

"Come on." She whispered, stepping on the first stair and looking back at me. I nodded and followed her up the stairs. I entered her room and immediately sat down on the bed. I looked around at every thing in her room. She began brushing her teeth- this gave me a chance to look around.

I sat down at her desk and looked at all of her picture frames.

There were picture frames that had pictures of Alli and Clare, Clare's family, Clare and Darcy, or Clare and random people in them. I scanned all of the frames, waiting and waiting for one to catch my eye. That's when I took notice to three picture frames; that were right next to each other - in the middle of all the pictures. All three of the picture frames held pictures of Clare and me in them.

A smile spread across my face, as I examined all three pictures. They were all from some of the greatest days ever. One of them was from her birthday. One of them was from the day we filmed Romeo and Juliet. The last picture was from the day we skipped English class. These pictures - these _memories_ ; they were perfect. They were the type of moments in your life that are engraved in your mind and heart forever.

Although, I'm young and careless- maybe even stupid- I know that I have to choose my actions and words wisely. I learned my lesson with Julia and I refused to learn it once again. I wanted to always be there for Clare, and for all my friends and family. I know I tend to be vicious and rude and sarcastic- but that's just who I am. I can't change that.

Suddenly, Clare came walking in to her room. She had all her make up on, her hair was perfect, and she had a new outfit on.

"Ready to go?" She asked; I smiled and nodded. I stood from the bed and approached her. We then continued to walk out of the door, down the stairs, and out of the house. We entered Morty and before starting the car- I looked over at Clare.

"Your not going to say anything to your mom before leaving? She's probably worried." I stated, I knew that it was definitely necessary for her to at least leave a note or send her a text.. But let's face it- Clare was stubborn, if she didn't want to do some thing.. She wouldn't.

"No." She snapped. She made eye contact with me, before saying- "Eli.. She doesn't deserve it."

Instead of questioning her and asking why she wouldn't just suck up her pride and talk to her mother - I started Morty and began driving. Clare turned the radio station to a song named "Every Word She Said" by Lost Ocean. Even though I didn't really like this music too much, I couldn't help but enjoy this song.

We pulled up to Degrassi, and both let out deep breaths. Looking at Degrassi was like looking in to eyes of the devil.. It was torture. We exited the car and walked towards the school together. We were walking exceptionally slow; but I don't blame us.. The slower we walked - the slower we'd get there.

"One to ten.. How much do you _hate_ school?" She asked. I paused and pretended to think for a moment.

"A solid ten.. _thousand_." I joked, Clare laughed-

"Couldn't agree more." She replied, I smiled as we walked through the doors.

I walked her to her locker, and we were in silence- but like always, it wasn't a bad silence. Once we reached her locker, I leaned against the one next to hers. She began opening her locker- as I watched her.

"I'm really excited." Clare randomly stated- I rose my eyebrows, attempting to think of what would get Clare_ 'so excited'_

"Because I'm your boyfriend?" I joked, she rolled her eyes and smiled.

"No, you egoistical jerk." She joked back, I smiled- "Darcy comes home tonight."

"Well.. Are you going back home?"

"Eventually." She told me.

"What about your mom?"

"I don't know what to do.." She admitted "But I wish I did."


	45. Chapter 44

**zeldaskeeper **- Hahha lmao. Well that was random! Haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me and to the story(:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Will do(: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it(:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Haha awwwh(: I'm glad you did! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! It honestly means so much to me and to the story! I really appreciate it(:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Awwh, I'm glad that you enjoy my song suggestions. (: And no worries, I loved your review! (: Thank you for reading and reviewing this story! (: It really does mean a lot to the story and to me. I honestly appreciate it(:  
**EliandClare414** - Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Chantay to be honest. She never really has important story lines. I hope that Alli returns; she had such good story lines and I miss her! :( But anyways, lol, thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! It means so much to me(:  
**Azula Felinae** - (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! I really do appreciate it(:  
**sassy selena** - I would be so scared to go back and change too. Clare's brave though(: I'm glad that you liked my song suggestion(: I love the band As Tall As Lions, their one of my favorite bands! And I just began listening to the band Lost Ocean, and their also really good! (: Thank you so so much for the long review and for reading my story! (: It means so so much to me! (:  
**vampirelovr333** - Hahah, thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! (: I really appreciate it(:

**-SongSuggestion**(: - "Don't" by Jesse Ruben

-I'm so so so sorry for not updating all weekend! I have a totally reasonable explanation!  
On Saturday, I was out with all my friends and I totally full out tripped. I ended up knocking  
out two of my bottom teeth :( I was at the dentist all day today! :( No worries, I'm getting  
them fixed (: But please don't be mad at me for taking so long to update! (:

Chapter Forty Four  
"It's Not That Easy, But Nothing Ever Is: Part One"

At the end of the school day,

I got my things out of my locker and quickly made my way to Clare's. Once I arrived there, I found a quiet Clare, slowly taking things out of her locker and stuffing them in to her backpack. She looked very unhappy.. But to be honest, she has been unhappy for a while now.

"Hey." I stated, catching her off guard. She jumped at the sound of my voice, and looked over towards me. She let out a deep breath and smiled.

"You scared me." She stated, as she turned her attention back to putting her books in her bag. I smiled-

"Why so jumpy?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I keep thinking my moms going to show up behind me." She answered, with a smile at the end. "She's crazy like that." She began to avoid eye contact with me.

Her smile was a fake one. Clare always tried to put on a smile for every one else, when she knew that all she wanted to do was cry. I didn't know how to comfort her and tell her that it was okay to cry, because I was the same as her. Putting a smile on, instead of showing your real emotions will never help. Smiles are worthless if you don't mean them.

"Darcy texted me earlier." Clare paused for a few seconds "She's going to pick me up from your house at five."

"Where are you going to go?" I asked curiously. I was worried about Clare, whether I should be or not.

"Home."

I hated that answer more then any other answer before. This entire situation forced me to despise her mother and father more then anyone or anything in the entire world. They hurt their daughter for no reason at all, they took their anger for each other out on their daughter. I refused to sit back and allow Clare's personality and happiness be ripped to pieces by her selfish mother and father.

"Oh." I awkwardly and softly replied.

"I don't want to go home.." She admitted "But I'll have Darcy there.. To help me and all." She told me- "Thank you though.. For last night and for helping me out. It really did mean a lot to me. It was the nicest thing I could of asked you to do."

I smiled at her, and she immediately began to blush and smiled-

"Don't worry bout it Clare-" I paused "You owe me though." I responded, She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Of course I do." She replied smiling.

"Let's go." I said, holding on to her hand as we walked down the halls.

We got outside and entered Morty. With out saying a word- she began changing the radio station. I looked at her and softly laughed. Of course, she was used to picking the station. Lately, I've been giving her the ability to pick the song.. That was against my rules.. But I suppose I can make an exception.

We pulled up in front of my house and immediately entered it- without saying a word. We went to my room and we instantly sat down on my bed.

It was like a daily routine for Clare and me. We always seemed to be spending our free time at my house, on my bed. That sounds dirtier then it really is..

"Favorite horror movie?" Clare asked; beginning an unnecessary, but interesting conversation.

"Halloween 1978 version." I answered. "And yours?"

"Not in to scary movies."

"Psh, _your brave_." I sarcastically replied, she rolled her eyes.

"And your _so_ manly" She responded. I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"And how could you possibly claim that I'm _not manly_?" I challenged her. Clare and I always seemed to get in to these small arguments- It was like we were testing one another, to prove who was more clever and smart with their words.

"Your just like a little girl."

"OUCH Saint Clare." I replied smiling. She began giggling, but was soon interrupted by her cellphone ringing.

"It's Darc." She told me, as she flipped open her phone and stood from the bed.

I zoned out as a conversation was held with Clare and her sister. I stared down at the floor and remained silent, day dreaming about insignificant things that didn't even make sense. Suddenly, Clare shut her phone and turned her attention back on me.

"Darcy got home early and is on her way." She informed me. Looks like our _fun time _was cut short.

"It's been interesting, Saint Clare." I replied, with a smirk - "I'll walk you out."

She nodded and smiled, as I rose from the bed and walked with her out the door and down the stairs.

We sat on the front steps together, enjoying our last minutes together.

"Luckily, Darcy doesn't have her car, so she'll be walking here to get me. At least this way we can have more time together." Clare told me. I smiled and raised my eyebrows.

I leaned in and kissed her. We were kissing for quite some time before hearing a girl's voice.

"Clare." The girl said, we quickly pulled away and turned our heads to the sidewalk to see a tan brunette with extremely long straightened hair. Clare's eyes lit up and the girl smiled.

"I gotta go- love you, see you tomorrow!" Clare quickly said, before running off to see the girl. I'm going to make a guess that the girl was Darcy.

I sat there, on the steps, watching the two walk together. They both looked so happy, as they talked about their lives. Once they were half way down the block, I decided to stand up and walk inside.

* * *

That night, I was sitting in my room when my mother called my name from the bottom of the stairs. I rolled my eyes.

Just hearing this woman's voice made me annoyed. I walked downstairs and saw my father with his suitcases. Apparently, this whole _'dad moving in'_ thing wasn't a joke..

"Your father's here!" My mom exclaimed, with a smile spread across her face. I fake smiled, when all I wanted to do was roll my eyes continuously.

"Hey son." He greeted me, with a smile on his face. I was in the mood to smack that smile straight off of his face. But instead, I smiled back and hugged him.

"Hey dad." I replied; "I have to go finish my English paper, but after I do- I'll help you move in." I lied. He can move his own damn bags.

My parents nodded in approval, as I made my way back up the stairs. I entered my room and instantly closed the door._ Great_.. Let the fighting between my parents begin. I give them a day before they're yelling and screaming in each others faces.

I sat down at my laptop, and immediately got a Skype call from Clare.

I accepted the call and a box with Clare's face popped up on my screen.

"What up?" I asked. We never would Skype, only on rare and important occasions. Although, I do believe that we should do this more often..

"I have news!" She informed me, with a smile.

"Good or bad?" I asked. I was receiving a weird vibe from her. It seemed as if the smiles she was showing me were fake.. I was good at determining whether or not some one was being fake with me..

"Not so good.." She answered, as her smile faded. _Great_.. More bad news. I nodded, giving her approval to continue- "As Adam always says.. I just gotta rip the bandage off.." She began; Clare then paused before telling me what was going on- "I'm going on vacation for two weeks."

I let out a deep breath- "With who, and to where?"

"Darcy and my mom. Since summers coming; we're going to our summer home." She explained.

"Wow.. _I'm so excited for you_" I sarcastically replied. I wasn't angry, it just sucked.

"Hey; If it was my choice- we definitely wouldn't be going. The last thing I need is more quality time with my family." She stated "But no worries, summer is in five weeks- meaning that we'll have three months of quality Eli and Clare time." Clare added a cute smile at the end.

"Just what I need.. _More quality time with you_." I joked with her, she laughed and rolled her eyes.


	46. Chapter 45

**peacelovedegrassi** - Hahha, thank you for the suggestion(: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing this story. It honestly means the world to me! (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Awwh! I'm sorry. This is my first mouth injury, but it hurts so bad! :( Haha. Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it - and it means a lot to me and to this story(:  
**EliandClare414** - Hahaha, I just tripped. I'm really clumsy /: Hahhaa. Fridays episode was good, up until Clare and Eli got in to a fight /: I'm really excited for the episode tomorrow though, I hope that Eli and Clare can work things out. I'm really scared that they're going to break up :( And I can't believe there is only three episodes left! I can't wait till February :/ Haha. What do you think of Fridays episode? And the season ending so quickly? And thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. I really appreciate it(:  
**Azula Felinae** - (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me(:  
**munrochambersismylifemb** - Awwh, I'm glad you liked it(: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It really does mean so much to me! (:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Here's a new chapter! (: Hahah, thanks for reading and reviewing! (: It means so much to me; I really appreciate it(:  
**zeldaskeeper **- Hahah, I think any girl in the world would! :P haha. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! (: It means a lot to me and to the story.  
**eclarelover4life **- Hahha, Jealous Eli is very cute! :P and No worries, I don't mind run on sentences! (: Haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing this story. It really does mean a lot to me. (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Hahha awwh! (: I'm glad that you like the eclare cuteness :P ahaha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! (: It means so much to me and to the story! (:

**-SongSuggestion**(: - "Taker" by Alexz Johnson  
Honestly, one of my all time favorite singers. Trust me, she's amazing! (:

-Last chapters title said "Part One" but I really don't want to  
name this chapter 'It's Not That Easy, But Nothing Ever Is' -  
So just ignore that Part One part(: Lmfao.

Chapter Forty Five  
"Don't Forgive Her; Don't Believe  
She's On A Mission And This Girl Is Me"

-CLARE'S POV-

Once Eli and I had signed off of Skype, I immediately made my way down the stairs. I was very aware that my mother was home, but for some reason I was willing to face her. I entered the kitchen- and of course I was right- my mother was sitting at the kitchen table, with a bottle of champagne next to her. I rolled my eyes and approached the refrigerator.

"Clare." She spoke my name "Can we talk?"

No chance in Hell.

"Mom. I'm busy." I lied, saying this with no emotion - proving to her that I didn't care, and I never planned on caring again.

"Clare." She said my name- without having to ask me again; I took a seat across from her.

"What mom? What could you possibly want to talk about?" I asked, with a very angry voice. I wanted to over-power her. I wanted to prove my Independence. I was very assure of myself, and she needed to know that.

"I never meant to hit you.. I never meant to hurt you. Your the most important thing in my life, and causing you pain is the last thing I want to do." She apologized. She's the fakest person I've ever met.

"Mom. I don't need your fake apologies. Your not sorry you hit me - Your sorry that dad doesn't love you anymore, and you have no one but me." I responded, with plenty attitude. "If you were really sorry then you wouldn't be drinking right now. I can't stand the drinking anymore mom- I can't stand_ you._"

My mother then proceeded to stand from her chair and point her finger in my face- "Don't you dare speak to me like that. I don't care if I'm sober or intoxicated - I am still your God damn mother, and I demand respect!" She told me. I rolled my eyes.

"No mom- mothers like you don't deserve respect.. neither will you receive it." After saying this, I stormed out of the house.

I was so sick of hiding my hurt from my mother. If I was hurt, I was going to yell and scream any thing and every thing I wanted. I was no longer scared of my mother, I was no longer frightened to speak my mind. If I had some thing to say - It would be said.

I walked down the street, looking down at the ground, on the verge of tears. No matter how angry she made me; there was no way that I could ever stop caring. I know that I keep attempting to convince myself that I hate her and I never want to speak to her again - but I know that I'll never stop loving her. As much as I wanted to scream in her face and not feel bad about it- I just couldn't. I'd always feel guilty for down talking a mother who has supported me my entire life- up until a month ago.

I walked and walked- not knowing exactly where I was going- having no intentions or specific places in mind. Most people would predict that I would end up in front of Eli's house.. But for some reason- I was far from there. I stood there, almost shocked. I was in complete confusion as I stared at KC's apartment building.

I crossed my arms and continued to stand there, silently and frozen. After a minute of thinking- I pulled my phone out and called KC. It only took two rings before he picked up the phone..

"Hey.." He awkwardly greeted me- I would of done the same, this phone call was kind of random.. "What's up?"

"Can you meet me outside your apartment building?" I asked, I decided that I should just get to the point.

"Sure." KC quickly responded. Without replying, I hung up the phone and stood there- waiting and waiting for him to arrive.

As I stood there- I couldn't help but feel guilty. I have a boyfriend - one that I had fallen deeply in love with.. Why was I here? Why was I waiting for KC to come out and talk to me? I had lost all respect for KC months ago.. And I'm angry that I'm here.. But there's no turning back now, considering the fact that KC just walked out of the front door..

This should be interesting..

"Hey" He softly greeted me, as he walked up to me. "What happened?"

I hesitated to answer, as I avoided eye contact. I suddenly looked up at him, and we immediately made eye contact. Just looking in to his eyes made me want to trust him- I trusted him, even though I knew I shouldn't.

"My parents are a complete mess and I can't take it anymore" I admitted, as tears immediately poured out of my eyes. KC wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in tight.

"What's happening with them?" He asked me,

"My dad moved out and has lost all communication with me and my mother. My mom drinks every single minute possible and slapped me across the face yesterday." I explained, KC looked like he was in shock.. I suppose that it was worse then I thought. I was so used to these problems that I said them with no emotion.

"Clare.. I don't even know what to say right now." Yeah.. Thanks for the help KC. "Where's Eli?"

I paused, and felt more guilty then ever before. Even KC knew that I was wrong for ditching Eli.. I had picked my ex boyfriend over the love of my life.. I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to figure myself out..

In that exact moment, my cell phone rang- I took it out of my pocket and flipped it open to see Eli's name. I let out a sigh, as I opened the phone and pressed it against my ear. I pushed back the tears and emotion. I didn't want Eli to know that there was some thing wrong with me..

Some things are better left unsaid.

"Hello." I answered the phone with a very simple greeting.

"Hey Clare- where are you?" He asked me.

Great, now I had to lie.. Let's face it, we've all learned before that I'm not the best liar..

"Taking a walk." I answered. Lame answer, but should be believable.

"Where you by?" Eli responded- great, another time I had to lie.

"Random apartments." I lied. They weren't _random_.. They were KC's.

"Alright, can we meet up or are you busy?" He asked, he seemed suspicious- even if he wasn't calling me out for anything.

"I gotta do some stuff.." The way I said that was so unbelievable that there was no way I was going to get away with this..

"Oh.." He awkwardly replied. "See you later then.." Without giving me a chance to reply, he hung up.

Am I bad girlfriend? Because I sure as hell believe I am.

"What did he say?" KC asked, breaking the silence.

"He asked to meet up.." I told the truth.

"And you lied?" I didn't respond "Why?"

"I don't know, KC."

"Do you not love him or what's going on?" He wanted answers, and sadly- I had none.

"I do love him- I just.. I don't know." I answered, you could hear how uncertain of myself I was just by listening to my voice.

"Clare.. Just tell me the truth, I won't tell him." He promised me. I'm used to broken promises- but I chose to believe him.

"I love Eli." I stated. "He means more to me then anyone I've ever cared for.." I then took a pause, not knowing how to continue- "I just don't know if I can really turn to him. I always pour my emotions and problems out to him.. But this time, just felt different. I took a walk, and stared at my feet the entire time. I expected to show up at Eli's.." I looked KC directly in the eyes "But I showed up here."

"And what about Eli? You shouldn't date some one you can't trust." KC told me. Stop filling my head with ideas.

"Just stop KC." I demanded.

"Clare, I'm just trying to help."

"Well don't." I responded, very coldly. "I don't need your help."

"Then why are you here?" He quickly responded with a clever question.

I'm asking myself the same thing..

"Because." I stated- _very clever, Clare._.

"Because why?" He asked. I paused,

"Just forget it. Bye KC." I stated- I needed to leave before doing some thing stupid. I began walking away- speed walking down the block. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Eli's number. I pressed the phone to my ear and listened to the ring. Suddenly, Eli's voice echoed through out my head.

"Yeah?"

"Eli. Come pick me up." I demanded.

"From where?" He asked.

"At the end of KC's block." I honestly answered.

There was a moment of silence- _complete silence_. I felt butterflies crashing around in my stomach and I shivered. I imagined how Eli felt, and it made me feel even worse. I let out a deep breath- waiting and waiting patiently for his reply.

"Be there soon." He murmured quickly before hanging up.

I slowly closed my phone and felt sick to my stomach. Why was it then whenever I had some thing good going, I had to screw it up?

I waited at the end of KC's block. I only waited two minutes before I saw Morty pull up. I was scared to enter the car, but I'd rather be with Eli then by myself. I soon entered the passenger's seat and awkwardly sat down. Eli put the car in park- but kept the radio playing, very lowly. He looked over at me and he didn't seem happy.

"Clare." He softly said my name- I dreaded having this conversation. I slowly looked over at him, and the two of us made eye contact.

"Yes." I murmured, he let out a deep breath.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I swear." I quickly answered. Eli nodded and seemed to believe me. We had so much trust.. I didn't want to ruin it. "I don't know why I came here, but nothing happened. I was here for five minutes before I stormed off and called you."

"Why did you storm off?" He asked;

"He was saying how I shouldn't be with some one that I don't trust."

"You don't trust me?" Eli quickly asked. It seemed as if every sentence I said made me an even worse person.

"No- I do, KC was just saying that I didn't since I came to him and not you." I attempted to explain.

"Alright." He responded. "But.. Why'd you go to him?"

"I was walking quickly- and I was just staring at the ground the entire time. I didn't care where I was going or where I was going to end up.. I just stopped in front of KC's, I didn't want to keep walking all the way to your house- so I decided to just pour out every thing to KC." I answered.

Eli nodded and turned his head forward- he began driving, not saying a word to me. I can't blame him though, I screwed up- but I tend to make bad decisions. Eli should understand that, considering the fact that he's made more mistakes then I have. We drove in silence- nothing but the low-volumed radio played.

We pulled up to my house, and he parked. I didn't want to come back here, but maybe Eli didn't want to be with me right now. He was jealous and frustrated of what I had done, and I understand why. I just wish he would realize that I wasn't always going to act like a Saint. I mess up some times.. just like he does.

"Why are we here?" I asked- breaking the silent tension that was increasing by the moment. He shrugged and turned to make eye contact with me.

"I'm tired and in a bad mood- I don't want to take it out on you." He responded; I nodded, acting as if I understand why he wouldn't just suck it up and help me through my hard times.

"Alright." I stated, in a whisper tone- as I opened the car door and got out. I slammed the door, and walked all the way to my front door- without looking back to say anything to him. I entered my house and was so angry. I just hated being the way I was.

I just hated dealing with my over-protective and selfish mother. I hated every thing in my life right now- besides Eli, of course. But sadly, I might end up making him hate me. Eli always had a way of getting his problems and insecurities off his mind by doing one thing..

I know that I'm supposed to be very good and never supposed to do some thing _bad_ or _rebellious_. But I just want to try it.. For once.

I looked around the first floor, and finally saw that my mother was passed out on the couch. I walked up the stairs and went in to Darcy's room, she wasn't there- so I was suspecting that she had gone out to meet up with some old friends. After checking the entire house, I went downstairs and made my way to the kitchen.

I opened the refrigerator and spotted what I wanted. I licked my lips as I debated on whether or not it was a good decision. I then grabbed four beer bottles and sprinted up the stairs. I felt like a little kid hiding from her mother- but I needed to hide. I slammed my bedroom door shut and went towards my bed. I layed the beers on my bed and stared at them.

This was a bad idea, trust me- I know that. But.. I was_ interested_.


	47. Chapter 46

**munrochambersismylifemb **- Hahah, well here's a new chapter! (: Thank you for reading and reviewing, it means so much to me! (:  
**DareToDream94 **- Awwh, I'm glad that you squeal whenever you get my update email :P haha. I'm really happy that you enjoy my story, it means a lot to me(: Thank you for reading and reviewing this story. I really do appreciate it(:  
**zeldaskeeper **- Haha, Clare tends to make bad decisions some times! Lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me(:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Sorry /: I just wanted to express a different side of Clare. I hope your not mad :( Thank you for reading and reviewing this story. It honestly means so much to me(:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Ahh! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! You better get all those flies out of your mouth! :P lmao. Thank you for reading and reviewing my story! (: It means so much to me and to the story! (:  
**Moonlit Mayhem** - I'm really happy that you enjoy the way I write Eli's POV. (: And I'm also really really happy that you like my story(: It means so much to me! (: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing the story. I really do appreciate it! (:  
**MadameDegrassi96** - I'm glad that you think so (: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me(:  
**eclarelover4life** - No problem(: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it(:  
**Azula Felinae** - You'll have to read and find out! (: Lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! It really does mean a lot to me and to the story(: I really do appreciate it! (:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - No worries- I think your words and vocabulary are ALWAYS amazing :P Hahah. I'm in honors English and I'm also blonde! Hahah! We're so alike! (:  
**ILoveYouEli** - Awh, I would feel so bad for Eli! :/ Lol, but that was a really really good idea! Thank you for reading and reviewing my story! (: It means a lot to me and to the story(:  
**AWalkToRememberLover** - Haha, Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me(:  
**EliLuvva3** - Haha, awwh I'm sorry for making you sad /: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it(:

**-SongSuggestion**(: - "Tonight I Love You" by The Latency  
-Honestly one of the best songs I've heard in a while. It  
was the ending song on this weeks Degrassi episode,  
when Eli and Clare are in his room in the last scene(:

-Fridays episode was crazy! Eli is so cute and I felt so bad for him!  
Clare shouldn't have gone in to his locker, but I understand that she  
was concerned. Poor Eli was freaking out /: I felt so so so bad for him.  
But the scene in Clare's living room when they hug, and the last scene  
in Eli's bedroom is so so cute! (: What did you guys think about the  
episode?

-Sorry for this chapter being so short! I've been so so busy lately :P  
No worries, this isn't the end of Clare's crazy night :P hahha, sorry  
for the inconvenience and for taking so long to update! (:

Chapter Forty Six  
"Let's Just Take Tonight Slow: Part One"

-ELI'S POV-

I was so angry at this point. Clare and I had every thing going for us- we were each others rocks, we were each others support- we were each others every thing.. Well at least, that's what I thought. She had picked KC over ME. Clare had picked her _ex_-boyfriend over her _new_ boyfriend. Clare might not be a Saint after all..

I had been in my room ever since I had picked her up- it was 11 o'clock when my cell phone suddenly rang.

_Saint Clare _was the name that popped up on the screen..

"Hello." I greeted her-

"Eli!" She yelled obnoxiously.

"Yeah." I wanted to make all of my answers very simple and uninteresting - this way, she would get the hint that I was pissed off.

"Where you at?" She asked in a yelling manner- she was very giggly. I grew suspicious.

"The better question is- where are _you_?"

"I'm at a place!" Clare answered, giggling uncontrollably after. Drinking didn't seem like some thing Saint Clare would do.. but then again- she was _unpredictable_.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, deciding to just come out and ask it- considering the fact that I was almost positive that I was correct.

"_Maybe_." Clare answered, suspiciously.

"Where are you?" I asked, getting frustrated. I hated when Clare did things that were unusual for her. I wanted Clare to stay the same girl that she was when I first met her - A Saint.

"Look outside!" She yelled, _once again_- laughing.

I opened my bedroom window and stuck my head outside- I suddenly took notice to a curly haired girl who was giggling and jumping up and down on my sidewalk. That couldn't be Clare.. That was not Clare..

That was Clare.

I hung up on the phone and ran down the stairs; I immediately ran out the door and to Clare.

"Clare-" I spoke her name, gaining her attention "What happened? Why did you drink?"

"You _hate _me- that's why." Clare answered, slurring her words and having trouble making eye contact.

"No I don't." I responded.

"But I picked KC! I chose KC! I-I disappointed you!" She argued, yelling at the top of her lungs.

"Shh- Clare, be quiet." I demanded. She rolled her eyes-

"That's why I did this- because every one is trying to control me." Clare stated- I ignored her statement.

I grabbed her hand and led her inside of my house and up the stairs. We walked in to my room and I shut the door. Clare fell back on the bed and began laughing. I slowly walked over and sat down next to her.

"Clare.. Are you okay?" I asked, it may seem we rid but I was extremely concerned.

"Eli-" She began, placing her hand on my knee- I wasn't an asshole, and I had no plans to take advantage of her; so I quickly took her hand and put it back on her lap. "I am _fine_." She stated- her tone of voice proved she wasn't; I suppose that I believe she isn't okay because she's continuously slurring her words and giggling.

"Want to spend the night?" I asked- she nodded and smiled;

"Moving a l-little fast there, Goldsworthy." Even when she's drunk, she still makes fun of me.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. What happened next was unexpected..

Clare slowly turned her head towards the floor and threw up. My jaw dropped in disgust, as I stood from the bed and helped her stand up. I rushed her to the bathroom and sat her down in front of the toilet. I grabbed her short hair and held it back, I also patted her back. She was throwing up a lot, and it wasn't the most attractive thing..

After a minute of non-stop vomiting; Clare lifted her head up and looked at me.

"Can I have water?" She asked- she seemed more sober then before. I nodded, and quickly ran to my room and grabbed her a water bottle from my nightstand. I walked back in to the bathroom and handed it to her. I then proceeded to sit down next to her. Clare remained sitting, and leaned against the wall. She drank her water and wiped her mouth with her shirt.

"I'm so stupid." She stated.

"You're not stupid- Clare, you're perfect." I responded- I could see that she felt guilty and embarrassed. After all, it's better that she came to me instead of KC.

"Eli- I drank, for the first time in my life."

"There's a first for every thing." I replied smiling, I wanted to make her feel better. She looked at me and softly laughed.

"Tell me every thing, that happened tonight, tomorrow because I don't think I'll remember too much." Clare said, causing me to chuckle.

"I will- don't worry."

* * *

I helped Clare up- off the bathroom floor and moved her to my bedroom. I layed her down on my bed and sat down at the edge of it. I grabbed the blankets and put them over Clare's body. I then continued to sit there- just watching her. Even when she was drunk, she was beautiful.

"Eli." She whispered my name; slowly opening her eyes and staring at me.

"Yeah?" I replied, giving her permission to continue.

"I love you." Clare stated "Always."

I smiled and nodded- "I love you too Clare."


	48. Chapter 47

**DareToDream94** - Haha, Yeah- Clare kind of ruined the cuteness there(: Haha. And thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It really does honestly mean a lot to me(:  
**Azula Felinae** - You'll have to read and find out! (: And yeah, the hug scene was one of the most adorable scenes EVER. Like, Eli and Clare are the perfect couple and they always have the cutest moments- I pretty much only watch Degrassi to see those two. (: Haha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story; I really appreciate it(:  
**clareandeliforever** - Hahaha! No worries, he does :P lmfao. Thank you for reading and reviewing! (: It means so much to me and to this story (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Lmao- thank you for reading and reviewing! (: It means so so much to me(:  
**bfo75808** - No worries; I would NEVER abandon this story (: And awwh(: I'm glad you think I'm a good writer; it means a lot to me. Also, thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me and I really appreciate it (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Hahha! I would do the same! (: Lmao; thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it(:  
**MadameDegrassi96 **- Hahah awwwwwh(: I'm glad you love it(: It means a lot to me. Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means so much to me and to my story. (: I really appreciate it.  
**Moonlit Mayhem** - Your formula is most likely correct(: Haha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story- it means so much to me and I really appreciate it(:  
**Eliluvva3** - Fridays episode was absolutely adorable! (: And thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me(:

**-SongSuggestion**(: - **AGAIN** - "Tonight I Love You" by The Latency  
I can't get over how amazing this songs is! (: I've been listening  
to it constantly for the past week! (: Lmao, I would DEFINITELY  
recommend giving this song a listen(:

-I know that I already updated today, but I felt like I made you  
guys wait so long for the previous chapter that you guys deserve  
another chapter(: I hope you enjoy it! (:

Chapter Forty Seven  
"Let's Just Take Tonight Slow: Part Two"

As Clare drifted off in to her own world, I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and knelt down beside my bed. I stared at the floor that was covered in puke, and felt sick to my stomach. Oh, Clare was _definitely_ going to pay for this one. I cleaned it up and quickly threw the towel in the garbage. I washed my hands and walked back over to the bed. I sat down, and glanced at Clare- who seemed to be sleeping. I then grabbed my ipod and stuck my headphones in my ears. I kind of wanted to just relax - and enjoy my music.

I listened to a song or two before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked back to see Clare sitting behind me. I slowly took out my headphones and smiled at her. She looked so tired.

"What's up?" I asked, turning my ipod off and placing it on my nightstand. I turned my head to face her-

"Can we talk?" She asked "I can't stay sleeping- I keep waking up." Clare admitted. I nodded and smirked.

"Sure." I answered- maneuvering myself, so that I would be facing Clare.

"Question game." Clare stated. I rose one of my eyebrows.

"Hmm, sounds interesting. You first." I responded. Clare nodded and smiled- she paused for a moment, thinking of the perfect question.

"If I cheated on you- what would you do?" She asked, smirking after. I rose my eyebrows at her "It's a hypothetical question- no worries, it'll _never_ happen." Clare added, assuring me that she hadn't been sneaking around. I let out a small laugh.

"I'd beat the hell out of the asshole." I told her. She smiled.

"And what about with me?"

"I don't know.. Depends on how far you went with him."

"Sex." She quickly responded. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I would break up with you." I answered.

"And if it was just a kiss?"

"If you begged for my forgiveness and apologized a million times.. then I'd stay with you."

"I see. I see." Clare replied smiling. "Your turn."

"If KC.. came crawling back to you- begging for you back and saying that he would never ever hurt you ever again.. Would you take him back and dump me?" I asked. I know, it was kind of an awkward question.. but it was some thing I would like to know.. "And be honest."

"I wouldn't ever pick KC over you. Eli, you mean the world to me. I wouldn't leave you for the richest guy in the world. I could never imagine hurting you." Clare answered. _Good answer_. I smirked.

"Good, because I wouldn't pick anyone over you either.. Don't ever forget that." I told her, she smiled.

"I won't."

* * *

We talked and talked and talked for three more hours. We had never gotten in to such deep, interesting and exciting conversation before. We honestly talked about every little thing possible and every word that came out of her mouth made me love her more. Who would of known that Clare Edwards showing up drunk at my house was going to make our relationship stronger.

I glanced over at the clock to see the time 3 AM. I shook it off and turned my attention back to Clare.

"Sober yet?" I asked her, with a half smirk.

Clare always told me how she loved when I would smile with only one side of my mouth. I had been doing that kind of smile since I was ten.. It was finally paying off.

"Pretty much." She answered, giggling at the end. "Sorry for throwing up.. _every where_." I smiled and let out a tiny laugh.

"Eh, no big deal. But.. you owe me.. _big time_."

"Oh trust me, I know."

"And keep in mind- that if any one else in this world had showed up at my house and threw up on my bedroom floor; then they would have been kicked out before they could even say sorry." I responded.

"Then why didn't you kick me out?" Clare asked with a smile, testing to see how _'cute'_ I could be with my compliments.

"Because I didn't want you to wander off to KC's house." I replied- I tend to _let people down _(: I smiled after, assuring her that I wasn't mad about earlier. She let out a laugh.

"Trust me - I would much rather be here... With you."

"Good- 'cuz that's exactly where I want you to be." I responded smiling.

She leaned in and kissed me. We kissed intensely and passionately. Clare and I seemed to always put this certain emotion in to our kisses. It was like we always tried to make sure that every kiss was worth it. We hardly ever pecked- I guess that we figured that we might as well make every kiss count.

We pulled apart, and I rested my forehead against hers.

"That will be all for tonight." I stated, pulling away from her forehead and sitting there normally.

"Huh?" Clare replied, confused.

"I don't want any thing to happen between the two of us when you still have alcohol in your system. If there's a day where we're going to go any farther- I want _both_ of us to remember _all _of it." I stated. It was the truth- as I stated before; I'm not some asshole who's going to take advantage of a girl I love.

She smiled and seemed very satisfied with my reply.

"I'll be thanking you tomorrow." Clare responded, with a smile on her face. She then layed back on the bed, and stared at the ceiling.

"You tired?" I asked, the answer was obvious but I still felt like asking. I was kind of an _unnecessary_ person.

"Absolutely."

"Alright. I'll go sleep on the couch-" I stated, standing up from the bed- but Clare quickly grabbed my arm and forced me to stop walking.

"No. Just sleep here- I don't want to be alone." Clare stated. We were silent for a moment, but then I smiled at her and she smiled back.

I sat back down on the bed and pulled the blankets over the two of us. Clare then rested her head on my arm; her face was inches away from my neck. We cuddled, and did nothing more then that- but I was happy with that. Just being with Clare was good enough for me.

* * *

My eyes flickered open, as I immediately squinted them - protecting them from the sunlight that was shooting through my window. I rubbed my eyes with my hands, as I turned my head towards Clare- who was still fast asleep. My arm was numb, but I decided to ignore it.

I didn't want to wake her up- she looked so beautiful. To take my mind off the complete numbness of my arm- I decided to think about some thing else. I wandered my thoughts; attempting to remember some thing interesting that I could think about-

Clare's vacation.

She had told me during our talk that she was leaving next Tuesday. It was Thursday today, meaning I only had five days left with her. Two weeks with out Clare.. What the hell am I going to do?

Speaking of it being Thursday.. We have school today.

I quickly pulled my arm away from Clare and sat up on the bed. I grabbed my cellphone, which was placed on the nightstand- and read the time; 12:03 PM. I rolled my eyes and shook Clare, waking her up.

"My heads going to explode.." She whispered. Pulling the blankets over her head.

"Clare it's 12, we're supposed to be at school." I reminded her;

"I could care less."

"Ooh rebellion Clare- Eli likes it." I joked, I heard her softly laugh. "You got a hangover?"

"A very.. _very _bad one. Remind me to never drink again." She responded, I chuckled and grabbed the blankets and took them off of her face.

"Oh suck it up Edwards." I stated. She rolled her eyes and smiled, she then sat up from the bed and walked over to my laptop. She sat down at my desk, and opened the computer. I rose my eyebrows- confused to why she suddenly needed to go on the computer. "What 'ya doing?" I asked.

"Just checking all of my stuff." She answered, I nodded and stood up from the bed.

"Maybe you should call your mom.. you know, tell her where you're at?" I suggested. I always would become worried for Clare's mother and her family. Clare had recently been running away from home and not contacting her parents or informing them where she was. She shrugged and continued to sign on to her Facebook account.

"She doesn't care."

"Clare, can you just do it for me?"

"_Eli_- I don't want to." She replied; I was a stubborn person, and so was Clare..

"_Clare_- I want you to."

"_Eli-_ I'm not going to." We were continuously saying each others names before every thing we said, and it was kind of entertaining.

"_Clare_" I began, as I put her phone in her face "Do it." I demanded.

She rolled her eyes and surrendered. "Fine."


	49. Chapter 48

**clareandeliforever **- Haha, awwh; I'm glad that it made you happy(: And thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story(: It honestly means so much to me! (:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Hahaha (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. I really do appreciate it (:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Will do (: Haha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to the story(:  
**Azula Felinae **- You'll see (: Thank you for reading and reviewing this story. It means a lot to me and to the story (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Haha; Mmm.. Interesting question :P I would DEFINITELY marry Munro Chambers (Eli from Degrassi). I honestly love him (: Hahha. Thanks for the question, it was quite interesting (: Lmao. Also, thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me and to the story(:  
**EliandClare414 **- No worries; I understand (: I love when the episodes end with EClare moments; those two are just incredibly adorable (: Jenna's story line is kind of boring, to be honest. I'm not a big fan of it either. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! (: It means so much to me and to the story! (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing this story (: I really do appreciate it; and it means a lot to the story and to me (:  
**Eliluvva3** - Haha, No problem (: And thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me (:  
**Moonlit Mayhem** - (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story! (: It means so much to me and to the story. I really appreciate it :P  
**eclarelover4life** - You'll have to see and read (: Haha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me and to the story (:  
**XxNonstoppSmilerxX **- You will have to wait and read (: And thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me (:

**Song Suggestion**; "Too Little, Too Late" by JoJo (:

-I changed my screen name to EClareObsession (:

-I've been doing Clare's POV a lot lately, sorry about that. I'm just  
trying to create other story lines, so that Eli's not the only one getting  
all the story lines (; Hope you guys don't mind! (:**  
**

Chapter Forty Eight  
"Your Chance Has Come And Gone"

"Mom. You can't be mad at me." Clare argued with her mother over the phone. "I'm at Alli's! How many times do I have to tell you?"_ Lies, lies, lies. _"Whatever. I'll be home soon." She hung up the phone and rolled her eyes. "Probably shouldn't of called my mom."

"Yeah.. I tend to have bad ideas."

"_Clearly_." She grabbed her phone and stood up from the chair- "I have to go." She then paused for a moment; "Thanks Eli.. for every thing." She kissed my lips and walked out the door.

I couldn't help but smile. I've been dating this girl for the longest time, and I still get nervous around her. No matter how comfortable I am with Clare.. I don't think the butterflies will ever go away.

* * *

-CLARE'S POV-

As I walked home, I felt a sudden feeling of embarrassment. I had thrown up in front of the love of my life. I had honestly done one of the most embarrassing things possible. I showed up at the Goldsworthy's home, drunk, at eleven p.m. I then proceeded to vomit all over his bedroom floor. I had my boyfriend, on his hands and knees, wiping up my throw up. I think I have finally reached an extreme low.

I know; Saint Clare doesn't seem like some one who would go to such extremes to try and have a good time. But let me tell you, last night was NOT a fun time. I regretted stealing the drinks from my mother. Next time I want to have a good time, I think I'll just hang out with Eli.

I dreaded entering my home. Ever since Darcy came back home, my mother has been attempting to 'enforce the rules' more. I think that she doesn't want Darcy to know that she's in the middle of a breakdown. One daughter witnessing her melt down was enough.

As I walked up the stairs to my house, I immediately had a rush of butterflies swarming through my stomach. I hesitated - but eventually opened the front door and slowly entered the house.

I looked around, and let out a deep breath. Where could my mother possibly be? I suddenly heard a crashing noise come from the living room. I grew concerned, as I fastly walked towards the living room. I then saw my mother cleaning up a broken beer bottle that she had dropped.

I rolled my eyes- "What happened?"

"I was cleaning up the house, and dropped a beer bottle." My mother was actually honest.. for once in her life.

"Do you need help?" I figured that sucking up to my mother would be a very good idea. Let's face it, she was already ready to rip my face off- the least I could do was help her clean up some things. She nodded, referring to no, as she continued to ignore me and clean. "Where's Darc?"

"Upstairs." My mother simply answered - She seemed like she didn't want to talk to me. I nodded and began making my way towards the stairs "And if you runaway from home, or ditch school one more time - we're going to have serious problems." She stated.

I decided not to reply and just ignored her comment. I made my way up the stairs and entered Darcy's room. I saw her sitting on her bed, with her laptop on her lap, and headphones in her ears. She immediately noticed me- took out her headphones and slowly closed her laptop.

"Come sit." She said, with a welcoming smile on her face- as she put her laptop on the floor. That was the best thing about Darcy; she was always willing to put her life and things aside in order to help some one out.. Darcy was the best sister I could ask for.

I proceeded to approach her bed and sit down on it; next to her.

"What's up?"

"I'm just really stressed out lately." I admitted. It was the truth.

"With what?"

"Mom, our family, school and Eli."

"What's going on with Eli?" She asked, with a concerned look on her face. Darcy was very protective over me when it came to boys hurting me. Darcy has been hurt many times before when it came to guys and she never wanted me to experience the same pain that she did. I suppose that I'd rather have a smart older sister, then make decisions on my own.

"Nothing too bad. I just don't want to leave for two weeks. I love spending time with Eli and being apart is going to be really really hard." I explained. Darcy nodded, proving that she understood where I was coming from. Thank God, I needed some one to FINALLY understand me.

"Well, the good part about being away for two weeks is- this way, you can't get annoyed. No matter how in love you are with some one; you can't spend every waking moment with them. The fastest way to kill a relationship is to spend too much time together. If you guys spend some time apart; it could bring you guys even closer together."

"But I've never gotten annoyed of Eli. There's no way I could."

"Mom and dad used to be in complete love and they never fought or yelled. They always seemed like the perfect couple, up until a couple months ago. Trust me Clare- no matter how perfect you are with some one; there is always a possibility for a breakdown."

* * *

-ELI'S POV-

I walked downstairs, to see my mother and father in the kitchen. My dad was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper- as my mother cooked lunch. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. These two are trying to make their relationship seem so stable and lovable. I know that they can't stand even being in a room together.

"I know you two don't love each other- so, drop the act. It's pathetic." I stated, I didn't care how rude I was- I just hated watching people fake love.

"Excuse me?" My mother said, much anger expressed through her voice.

"You guys are living together so that I don't have to move- not because you guys have fallen in love again; so stop trying to create this _'we're in love again'_ scene, because no ones going to buy it."

With those words being left said, I walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I was quite surprised, to be honest. I figured my dad was going to hit me, or my mom was going to scream at the top of her lungs. I had just walked all over my parents and never got any kind of emotion in return. Maybe my dad was trying to stop being so aggressive- maybe my mom thought I was right. Maybe my parents finally aren't complete idiots.

* * *

At 6:30 P.M., I got in to Morty and made my way to the Edward's home. Once I pulled up, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and texted Clare; informing her that I was outside, waiting for her. I suddenly saw Clare walk out of her front door; she didn't seem too happy. She reached the car and sat in the passenger's seat.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Just annoyed.. with_ every thing_." She answered. Clare always seemed to be annoyed about things. It seemed as if things were really getting on her nerves lately. If I only had a way of making her happier. "Do you think that you and I could just randomly have a breakdown?"

_Random question?_ I think so..

"Uhm.." I awkwardly began "And by _'breakdown' _you mean?"

"Like.. We could randomly just get sick of each other and call it quits." Clare explained. Saint Clare seems paranoid..

"Clare, do you honestly believe that you and me are going to get sick of each other and just call this whole thing off?" I asked, she nodded. "That's never going to happen, and you don't need to worry about it. I would never let this thing go. You and I have some thing special - some thing that I don't plan on giving up on. You got to trust me, _Edwards_- we're in it for the long run." I said, adding a tiny but noticeable smirk at the end.

Clare's face turned a bright red, as she blushed. Clare hasn't blushed at any thing I've said in quite some time.. I'm _flattered_. (:

Without saying another word, I started Morty and drove towards my house. As we pulled up and parked in front of my house;

"We always end up here." Clare stated.

"And is that a bad thing?" I asked,

"No. It's fun." I looked her and smiled, Clare was so awkward some times- but that's what made her even more adorable.

I got out of Morty and made my way towards my house. Clare came walking next to me, as we entered my house and walked up the stairs. I didn't even bother informing my parents that I had arrived home. I didn't see the point in telling them any thing about me. I didn't care about them - they didn't care about me; Simple as that.

Clare and I entered my room and shut the door. Clare sat down on my bed, as I sat down at my desk.

* * *

-CLARE'S POV-

My phone vibrated, and I immediately flipped it open to see a call from KC.

I rolled my eyes and rejected it. A few seconds after rejecting his call- he sent me a text.

"_Clare. Can we at least talk_?"

"_KC, we're just friends. Stop._" I demanded. I wasn't planning on leaving Eli for KC. KC wasn't worth my time.

"_Just come meet me. Please.. We seriously need to talk._" He texted back.

I took a minute to debate whether or not to go-

Upside Of Going- I could tell KC that me and him are only friends, and that's all we'll ever be.

Downside Of Going- I would have to leave Eli, and he could get suspicious for me randomly leaving.

I took the risk.

"My mother is so obnoxious." I complained.

"Why? What happened?" He asked- good question; I wish I had an answer..

"She says I have to come home immediately."

"Why?" He had a lot of questions, and I didn't have too many answers.

"She texted me saying that since Darcy's home, we need to go out to dinner.. Or at least spend time together." I explained; for once in my life- I wasn't totally sucking at lying.. Which was pretty surprising, considering the fact that I might be the worst liar in the entire universe.

"Oh. Well, want me to drive you home?" His sweetness makes me feel even more guilty..

"No- don't worry. I kind of want to take my time anyway." I lied. "Thanks though." He nodded, with a smirk on his face. Honestly, he was adorable.

I walked towards him and hugged him. He kissed my forehead.

"Love you." He told me, I smiled and blushed.

"Love you too." I then walked out of his room.

As I walked out of his room and down the stairs; I couldn't help but want to run back to him and jump in his arms. I just wanted to repeatedly tell him I love him, and that no other boy means as much to me as he does. I just wanted to make sure he knew that he was the best thing in my life and I don't ever want to lose him; no matter what.

But I couldn't.. My heart told me to go back and tell him he meant the world to me.. But my brain told me to do the opposite. For some reason, I sided with my brain, as I continued to walk out the door and towards KC's house.

I walked slower then usual, I dragged my feet as they slid across the concrete. I felt sick to my stomach, but it was too late now. I was at the end of KC's block.. There was no turning back now. I was here.. and that was it.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed KC's number, as I continued to walk down the block.

"I'm in front." I stated, once he picked up the phone.

"Okay." I calmly replied, as he hung up the phone. I stood in front of his apartment, and immediately got butterflies as he came walking out. Damn.. Why do I put myself in these types of situations?

He awkwardly and slowly made his way towards me, and we stood there- facing one another. It was frightening to stare in the eyes of your ex-boyfriend that hasn't lost all feelings for you. KC let out a deep breath, as did I. He finally broke the silence..

"You came." _Clearly._

"Yep.." I awkwardly and quietly replied. So you had me come all the way here to tell me that I showed up? "Why am I here?"

"Because we need to talk.. about us- about every thing." He stated. "You came to me, Clare- you picked me over Eli."

"I know I did, but it was stupid and I'll never make that mistake again." I informed him- I know, I was being harsh; but I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

KC let out a deep breath. He seemed like he was embarrassed.. Or frightened by how rude I was being. But what did he even expect? He broke my heart in the first place. HE let ME go, I didn't leave him. HE broke MY heart, not the other way around..

And as for me breaking his heart, right now- _What goes around, comes around. _

"Clare, even if it was a one time mistake.. you still made it." KC began "My biggest mistake- _my biggest regret_ was leaving you. The stupidest thing I've ever done was believe that I needed some one like_ Jenna._ She tempted me, and some how forced me to leave you for her."

"No KC- stop blaming the people around you. Jenna never forced you to leave me.. _You_ left me. _You_ chose some cheerleader over me- Jenna never told you to break my heart. _You _broke my heart." I argued.

"But I made the biggest mistake of my life, Clare. I want you. I don't want Jenna. I don't want any other cheerleader or girl at Degrassi. All I want is to say that you're _my girl_. I want to be able to call Clare Edwards my girlfriend."

"You had your chance KC! I gave you the chance to call me _your girl_, and you gave it up faster then anything in your life. You quit our relationship - and I refuse to feel bad and try to put it back together. You can keep attempting to fix this; but it's not going to work. I love some one else now.. And he would never treat me as bad as you did."

"Clare.. I love you." He stated, "Nothings ever going to change that."

"You can't prove that you're a good guy now-" I began, but he quickly cut me off by grabbing my face and kissing me.

For a minute- I just stood there, in complete shock, trying to make myself understand what the hell was even going on. I then quickly pushed him off of me.

"KC!" I screamed his name. I didn't have words to express how confused and angry I was. I was speechless.


	50. Chapter 49

**Moonlit Mayhem** - Haha. (: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me(:  
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**EliandClare414 - **Awwh, I'm glad you liked it (: Fridays episode was pretty good. I really want Adam and Fiona to work out. I don't really like the Jenna story line, I feel like their kind of rushing her pregnancy too. I love Wesley :P He's such a cute nerd (: Hahaha. EClare could not get any cuter. I love when Eli puts his arm around her and they hold hands (: Ahh, they are too cute (: Lol. I need February to come as quick as possible! Anyways :P thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. I really appreciate it (:  
**DareToDream94** - Haha; you'll have to read and see! (: Lol. Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing this story; It means so much to me and to the story. (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - You'll have to read and see what happens (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it and it honestly means so much to me and to the story(:  
**MadameDegrassi96** - Haha awwh(: I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it (:  
**marleyismyhoney** - Haha, I absolutely love that song. And Munro is most definitely MINE. Hahah(: I love Munro Chambers. You can have Thomas :P And thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me (:  
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**DancingintheRayne** - Will do :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it. And it means a lot to me and to this story (:

**Song Suggestion**; "Some Things Are Better Left Alone" by Tyler Kyte  
Tyler Kyte is honestly one of my all time favorite singers, ever! He  
is so amazing, and his songs are incredible. I would DEFINITELY  
recommend listening to him (:

**-IMPORTANT- **  
Is there a limit on how many chapters a story can have?  
I know that I'm allowed to have way more then fifty, but  
I just want to know for future references (:

Chapter Forty Nine  
"Until You Figure Out What's Wrong"

"I can't believe you." I stated, in anger, as I looked KC in the eyes. He looked as if he had no answer- no explanation for what he had done. I also had no thought running through my head..

The only thing I could think of was Eli.. His face popped up in my head, as the memory of his voice saying 'Love you' echoed through out my head. I always felt so guilty, even if things weren't my fault. I've never felt this guilty in my life- and the saddest part is, Eli made me promise I'd never speak to KC again.

"Clare, you didn't push me away right away- that's got to mean some thing!" KC stated.

"No, KC, no! Stop saying that every action I make _'has to mean some thing'_. I don't like you, at all. I don't want to be with you. And I don't even want to be friends with you." I stated harshly. "Stay away from Eli and me."

I then stormed away. As I walked away, I felt a piece of me disappearing. Letting go of KC was like letting go a part of my life.

KC taught me how to really love some one, KC was my first real boyfriend. If it weren't for KC, I would never have opened myself up to boys. All though, KC may have taught me love.. but he also taught me heartbreak. I can't let myself fall for him. _The first cut is the deepest_..

I layed in my bed that night.. The kiss and how I felt, after and before it, replayed in my head. The way that I waited just a few seconds to push KC off. Why wouldn't I push him off right away? Why did I leave Eli's in the first place? Why would I go behind the love of my life's back to see another boy? Thank God; Eli doesn't know.

What Eli doesn't know.. won't hurt him.

* * *

-ELI'S POV-

I walked in to school the next morning; I think the absolute worst part of school was having to wake up at 7.

I entered Degrassi and walked to my locker, I walked as slow as possible. School wasn't my thing- I didn't enjoy it and I didn't want to be in it. If I could run away, as far as possible, with Clare, and just get away from every one else - then I would. School sucks, and home is hell.

I opened my locker and noticed how messy it was. There was smashed up papers everywhere, and all my books were incredibly unorganized. I should talk Clare in to cleaning out my locker. The funny part is- she would enjoy doing that.

I threw my backpack in my locker, and grabbed my books for first period. I then slammed my locker, and sat on the floor; leaning against it. Suddenly, Clare's voice echoed through out my ears. I looked up to see Clare standing there, with a slight smile on her face. Once we made eye contact, she proceeded to sit down, across from me.

I could see her nervousness in her face.. Saint Clare seemed to be hiding some thing.

"What's up?" I asked, wanting her to just tell me whatever was wrong. I've known Clare long enough to know when she's hiding some thing.

"Nothing; just tired." She answered.

"You seem worried." I stated. Clare paused for a moment, and I rose my eyebrows.

"No, I'm just really tired." She lied, once again. I nodded- not believing her, of course. Maybe I'm crazy, and nothing is really wrong with Clare. But on the other hand, I can read Clare's facial expressions like a book.. "Oh, I almost forgot; My mom wanted me to ask you to come over for dinner again.. This time- with just Darcy, me, and my mom. You don't have to go. I can tell her you have other plans."

"No, that's fine. I'll go." I told her, she instantly smiled. I dreaded this family dinner.. but if it meant making Clare happy, then I suppose it was worth it..

"Ever since Darcy came back.. my moms been attempting to pull this family back together- she has called my dad over three hundred times." Clare paused, talking about her family seemed really hard for her. "I feel responsible.. for all of this, you know?"

"Why?" I asked.

"When Darcy was here- our family was so put together, and we were perfect. We had family dinners every night, we would do some thing family-like once a week. Then, Darcy went to Africa." Clare paused "Once Darcy left; every thing was chaos. My parents fought constantly and continuously ignored me. Darcy held all of us together.. and I wasn't good enough for my parents- so it tore my family apart."

"Clare- don't think like that. You're perfect. You don't need to be any different - your parents are the ones who need to change. None of their problems have anything to do with you, I promise you that." I stated, Clare immediately smiled and I could feel her sadness turn to happiness, as she hugged me, tightly. I hugged her back.

* * *

I was in my third period World History class. I only knew one person in the class.. _KC_.

I never talked to anyone in this class, and no one ever talked to me. I liked it better this way.

"Every one- get in groups of four for the project. And remember, it's worth 30 percent of your grade, so pick wisely." The teacher stated.

_Great _

I chose to sit at my desk and wait till every one picked their groups - this way, I would just go with which ever group that needed another person. I sat there, zoned out, when suddenly I heard a familiar voice. I looked in back of me, to see KC and two other people sitting there.

"We need another person. You in?" KC asked. I'd rather get punched in the face over one million times then be in your group.

"Sure." I answered, turning myself to face the group. I couldn't help but feel annoyed. Of course- out of all the groups in the class, KC's had to be the one that needed another person.

Our group walked to the back corner of the classroom, so that we could sit on the floor with our poster. Our group was me, KC, a girl, and a boy. I had no idea who the boy and girl were, but I didn't really care.

As the three of them discussed what our plan was, I sat there- completely silent and zoned out. I was very bad when it came to school; I never tried hard and I failed most of my tests. I suppose that I always focused on my life, rather then school. English was the only class I was good at. I wish I was as smart as Clare- she was a complete genius. I've never seen such a perfect report card.. Saint Clare was just perfect.

"So.." KC said, turning towards me. "How's Clare?" Why the fuck do you care?

I rose my eyebrows and gave him a rude look.

"Fine. Why?" I replied, in an angry tone.

"Just wanted to know." He answered. Yeah, well you don't need to fucking know.

"Don't worry about us- we're doing just fine." I snapped. I didn't mean to be rude, but this guy didn't know when to back off. Clare is dating ME, she isn't dating you anymore..

"Relax. I was just trying to help.." He murmured. Help with what?

"And how could you possibly help us?" I asked- wondering what he was even thinking.

"Never mind." He replied. And with that, we stopped talking for the rest of the class.

But I couldn't help but wonder what he was talking about. What could KC possibly help us with?


	51. Chapter 50

**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Hahaha, Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means so much to me and I really appreciate it (:  
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**EliandClare414** - Awwh, I'm happy that you like it(: And I don't think Jenna looks any where near 9 months, She only looks like 5 months pregnant. I hope that they don't rush her storyline and make it non-believable. Adam and Fiona are so cute, I really hope they work out. And I love Wesley (: Haha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story - It means so much to me (:  
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**Song Suggestion**; "If This Was A Movie" by Taylor Swift  
At first, I thought the lyrics were "_Come back, come back, come back to me Eli_"  
So I got super excited and was so happy.. But I then looked up the lyrics  
to double-check it.. and I was wrong :( The lyrics are "Come back, come back,  
come back to me, like-" BUT- I'm just going to pretend like she's saying  
Eli. Haha (:

-Does anyone know a song that involves the name Eli? (: Hahha.

Chapter Fifty  
"_Part One_: Come Back To Me, Eli"

I walked out of Degrassi. I hadn't talked to Clare all day, and I almost didn't want to. I think it was because I was scared that she was hiding some thing from me. What if Clare had gone behind my back and done some thing really bad? What if all that Clare and I have is a joke? I don't even want to think about it. All I know is; if Clare did some thing bad that involves KC- I'm going to break KC's face with my fist.

I suddenly felt a hand rest on my shoulder, and Clare appeared next to me.

"Hey." She greeted me with a smile. I didn't smile back; I barely even smirked.

"Hi." I murmured. I had no right to be mad, there was no proof that Clare had done anything wrong - Maybe KC was just messing with my head.. Maybe I was just overreacting..

"What's wrong?" Clare asked, worried.

"In Social Studies, we all had to get in to groups of four for a project." I began "I was paired with some girl, a guy and.. KC." I paused for a moment. "He said some thing that seemed kind of.. weird." I explained.

Clare looked shocked, she looked like she had just witnessed a murder. Her face turned pale and her cheeks began to become red. She hesitated to speak, as she avoided eye contact.. Maybe some thing really was wrong..

"What did he say, _exactly_?" She asked me, her voice was sort of shaky.

"He asked me how you and me were doing; I asked him why he wanted to know, and he said he was just trying to help." I answered. "What would he need to help us with?" Clare shrugged, as she seemed a lot better then before.

"Oh, I don't know. KC's crazy - Ignore him." She told me.

I'm not too sure that I should..

"Oh." I awkwardly and quietly replied.

I didn't believe her - I couldn't believe her. Clare has showed me in the past that KC means a lot to her.. Clare has made bad and hurtful decisions when it comes to KC. I feel like no matter what, she'll always have these sort of feelings for KC. I don't know what she did, but I know she did some thing. I'm not going to attempt to force her to tell me the truth.. I'd rather get it out of some one who wouldn't mind ruining Clare and my relationship...

KC.

* * *

The Next Day,

I hadn't talked to Clare all night last night. She had texted me twice and called me once- but I chose to not talk to her. I wasn't mad at her.. _yet._ I just needed time by myself- time to think about what could of happened. I know, attempting to guess what was going on was stupid - but it was all I could do.

I entered Degrassi and went to Adam's locker. I hardly ever talk to him anymore. I miss Adam - he was my best friend and pretty much my only friend. Adam was really easy to talk to. Once I reached Adam's locker, I immediately saw him unlocking it. I approached him.

"Long time - no talk." I stated, he smirked.

"I know, man. Where you been?" He asked. "Wait- lemme guess, with Clare?" Adam smiled, and I couldn't help but do the same.

"Good guess." I answered.

"Hasn't it been like five months?" He asked.

"Five and a half." I corrected him. He laughed, as I smiled.

"How is every thing?"

"It was going good.. until yesterday."

"Why? What happened yesterday?" Adam asked.

"I was put in to a Social Studies group with KC. KC asked me how Clare and I were doing.. I answered and then asked him why he wanted to know. He then told me that _'he was just trying to help'_." I explained.

"Did you ask Clare?"

"Yeah, she got all nervous and scared. It was like she was hiding some thing."

"Well, I doubt her and KC even talk anymore."

"No - they do. Trust me, I know." I replied.

"Well.. Don't get all paranoid - KC's a dumb guy who wants to break you two up. He probably just said that to freak you out." Adam stated. Maybe Adam was right.. but he could also be wrong.

"And if he's not lying?"

"You have class with him, today, right?" Adam asked. I nodded "Ask him about it."

* * *

I walked in to my third period Social Studies class.. I dreaded but also wanted this class to come. I dreaded it because; seeing that scumbags face, didn't make me feel any better. But I also wanted the class because I wanted to get the truth out of KC.

As I approached my seat- my eyes took notice to KC sitting across the room- staring me down. His facial expression was a mixture of hatred and friendliness. I know- it was a _weird combination_. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my notebook. The bell rang seconds later..

"Get in to your groups and continue to work." Our teacher stated. Thank God, I need to talk to KC.

I got up and walked to the back of the class room with my group. We placed our poster board on the floor and we all sat around it.

"I'm Ellie." The girl stated. She had dark red hair, and pale skin. She was very pretty. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a gray v-neck. She seemed to be very quiet. I thought she seemed pretty cool.

"I'm Eli." I announced. "We have alike names." I stated. She smiled.

KC and the other guy then announced their names, but I didn't really pay attention. Since we were working in a group together; we might as well get to know each other. We talked for a minute or two but then got back to work. As Ellie and the boy debated on how to organize the poster - I turned my attention to KC.

"I have a question." I stated, catching KC's attention, as he lifted his head up and looked me in the eyes.

"Go ahead." KC responded. I let out a deep breath, as I attempted to think of a way to ask my question.. Do I just go right out and ask it? Or trick him in to telling me?

"Why did you say you could help Clare and me yesterday?" I asked. KC seemed very frozen - just like Clare was the day before. I hated this, I hated how they both knew some thing, but refused to tell me. Don't freeze up and lie - just tell me the damn truth.

"I just thought I could help." He answered, avoiding the real answer.

"How though?" I asked, annoyed. If you're hiding some thing, then you should probably learn how to lie better.

"Don't worry about it - it's no big deal." KC told me.

"It's obviously a big deal if you're avoiding telling me." I responded. KC let out a deep breath.

"Clare.." He paused "Is stuck in the past."

I rose my eyebrows and grew very confused.. Had Clare confessed feelings to KC? Was KC making this up as he went along? What the fuck was even going on.. I hesitated to reply, as I attempted to process what he had just said through my head.

"_Stuck in the past_?" I replied, and he nodded. "How so?"

"Clare and I have been.. talking recently." He explained. A rage began to rise in my mind, as I clenched my fist.

"And what does that mean?" I snapped; I couldn't control my anger.

"Two days ago.. Clare was over at your house, right?" He asked. I nodded, I was too angry to even speak. "Well.. She left your house.. to come over to mine."

"And why the fuck would she do that?" I snapped.

"She wanted to talk." He responded. Just tell me what the fuck happened already!

"So what happened?" I asked - needing to hear the truth. I expected the worst..

"We kissed." Right when I heard those words come out of his mouth, I punched him as hard as possible in the face. He flew back, and my teacher jumped up from her desk.

"Eli Goldsworthy!" She screamed at the top of her lungs; but I didn't care.

I sat there, staring at KC- who was holding his nose, which was gushing blood. Rage was still building up inside of me and all I wanted was to punch KC over one million times in the face.

"Get to the office, Now!" My teacher screamed, as she walked over to KC and checked to see if he was okay. "Eli! I said _now_!" She screamed.

I finally stood up from the ground and noticed how incredibly silent the room was, as every one in it stared me down - wondering what he had gotten me so angry.

As I walked to Mr. Simpson's office, I couldn't help but think and think. Why in hell would Clare betray me? Why in hell would Clare lie to me? Clare had fucked me over once again, and things were not going to be okay this time. I was going to make sure she knew that I was mad.. I was going to make sure that she realized how much of a bitch move that was of her. I'm your boyfriend, Clare.. well at least, I _was_..

* * *

I sat in the Principal's office for an entire hour. I sat in a chair, while I was continuously screamed at and lectured. My punishment? Two day suspension. Thanks Clare and KC.

I grabbed my things from my locker and left the school. I then went to the Edward's home and sat down on the front steps. I planned to wait for Clare to get home. I wanted to scream in her face and tell her how done we were. I wanted to let her know that she wasted my time. I wanted to make Clare feel guilty and I don't care how selfish or crazy that sounds.

What goes around, comes around - And I wanted Clare to feel the same way I did.

Suddenly, Clare came walking down the block. She turned her head and saw me and smiled. Her smile soon faded away, once she saw how angry I was. I stood up from the stairs and approached her. We stood there, face to face.

"Why are you here?" She asked. I'm surprised that people aren't talking about what happened at school.

"Oh, you didn't hear?" I yelled.

"About what?" She asked, confused.

"I'm suspended from school for two fucking days. Do you know why Clare?" I asked, in a very very angry tone. I don't think I've ever talked in this angry of a tone to Clare before.

"No, I do not." She responded. Of course you don't, Clare..

"I had to punch some douche bag in the face, so hard that his nose bled for a good hour." I told her.

"Oh my God; Eli, Why? Who?" She asked. I'm surprised she hasn't caught on yet..

"KC.. I had to punch him in the face, because he informed me that you two had kissed." I told her. "How fucking stupid are you, Clare? Did you honest to God believe that you were going to be able to make out with another boy with out me finding out?"

"Eli - you have the whole story wrong." Clare responded. "KC kissed me and I pushed him off."

"Lying isn't going to help, Clare! You ditched me - you left my house, so that you could go to KC's! You walked away from your boyfriend, so that you could go make out with your ex. Is that a joke?" I yelled. "Clare - I believed in every thing we had. I believed in every thing you said. All your words were lies! Every thing we ever had was a lie! You're in love with KC!"

"No Eli! I'm in love with you!" Clare defended herself, begging for me to believe her - Not a chance in Hell.

"Actions speak louder then words, Clare." I paused "And your actions have proved how you really feel about us."

"I'm more in love with you then anyone I've ever known."

"Do you still like KC?" I asked, She didn't answer. "Answer the question Clare!" I demanded.

"No.." She answered, but I knew she was lying.

"Keep lying Clare." I yelled, as I rolled my eyes and began to walk away.

Clare chased after me, and grabbed my arm - attempting to get me to stop walking and face her.

"Eli. If you really care about me - or about us, then you'll stay and talk to me." Clare stated.

"I've done all the talking I need to do." I then paused for a moment "And if you really cared about us.. Then you wouldn't have gone behind my back and cheated on me." After saying this, I walked away - this time, Clare didn't come after me.


	52. Chapter 51

**DancingintheRayne** - (: Will do. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story. It honestly means so much to me and to my story; I really do appreciate it (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - You'll have to wait and read to see if Clare gets the chance to explain or if Eli blocks her out (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to the story. I really do appreciate it (:  
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**No-Name** - Haha, noo! Munro's mine :P And I'm pretty sure this is marleyismyhoney, but your name didn't show up for the reviewer-name :O lmao. And I know; I heard Eli's name and I got so freaking excited; and then I looked up the lyrics and it was a complete let down :( Haha. Lmao, it's okay. I don't mind grammar errors. (: I'm glad you liked it, and I'm sorry your fingers are numb :/ Lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me. (:  
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**peacelovedegrassi** - Haha; Just keep reading and you'll find out what happens (: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it and it means so much to me. (:  
**No-Name** - Awwh :( Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it. (:  
**Elinfatuated** - Hahah; nahh, Munro is most definitely mine. (: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me and to my story. (:  
**mcflyXlove** - No worries; here's a new chapter (: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it. (:  
**EliandClare414 **- I can not believe that Fitz is coming back! I'm so nervous for what's going to happen between Fitz, Clare, and Eli. And for the whole Alli thing, I'm so confused! Haha. Like, I honestly have no idea on what's going to happen with her. I'm so excited for the new episodes, and I don't even think I can wait! (: What do you think? And; thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me and to the story (:  
**GrizzlyBearLoveesYou** - Haha, Awwh I'm glad you liked it. (: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (:

-SOOO, I was listening to Blink182 while I wrote this chapter, and there  
are certain songs of theirs that tend to get me all emotional, so my writing  
in this chapter, is mostly based on how Eli and Clare are feeling about the  
whole situation. I hope you enjoy (:

Chapter Fifty One  
"_Part Two_: Come Back To Me, Eli"

I approached my house, and walked inside. My eyes focused on the stairs, as I stomped up them - clenching my fists at my sides. My face was most-likely purple, considering how angry and numb I was feeling. Every thing was blurry, it was like I was losing my mind. My temper had a mind of it's own, in this situation. I felt like I wasn't good enough for Clare. Clare had proven to me, that I was never and will never be good enough for her.

I threw myself on top of my uncomfortable bed, as I let out a deep breath. I reached over to my Ipod player and clicked 'Play'. Instantly, As Tall As Lions blasted through my room. I usually got lost in my music - my thoughts feeling insignificant and all my hatred fading away..

But this time, I still felt hate and anger and frustration. I still felt like punching a hole in the wall and breaking every single little thing in my room. Suddenly, I stood from my bed; the song "Maybe I'm Just Tired" by As Tall As Lions playing. I approached my desk, and looked down at it. I scanned all the pictures until I spotted one that was of Clare and me.

I rolled my eyes in disgust, as I held it in my hands. I gripped it, with all the strength I can. My hands began to shake. I could feel a tear.. one simple tear, rolling down my red cheeks. I didn't want to cry. I refused to cry. With all my power, and strength - with all my hatred, and frustration - I took the picture and whipped it across the room.

The picture frame smashed against the wall.. The glass shattering and flying in various directions The picture slowly floating towards the ground. I ran my fingers through my hair, and my teeth were pushed against each other. I could feel all of me going numb - no thoughts in my head, no intentions on what to do next. All I did, was picked up another picture that was of me and Clare.

I looked at it, and let out a sarcastic laugh. - "_All lies_." I stated, before whipping it at the wall. The glass, doing the same as before, breaking in to tiny pieces. The music was loud enough to block out all the glass-breaking noises. The music was loud enough to block out all of the small screams I kept letting out.. The music was loud enough to cover up my cell phone ringing - Phone calls from Clare, that I didn't intend on returning.

After breaking a few more picture frames, that held pictures of Clare and me - I took a seat, on my bed, and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. I flipped it open to take notice to five new text-messages, and six missed calls. I went through the missed calls - five from Clare, one from Adam. I then opened up all the text messages.

All from Clare.

_"Eli. I need you. Please, just talk to me." - "I would do anything to go back in time and change every little thing I've ever done. I know I hurt you, but I need you to forgive me." - "You're the most important thing in my life, Eli. Please." - "I'll do whatever it takes to get you back." - "I know.. You'll probably never reply to these messages or return my phone calls; but please, just know that every thing we had wasn't a lie. I'll never stop loving you." _

Those five text messages seemed like nothing to me. I didn't smirk at any thing she had said. I didn't feel any relief, or feeling of sympathy for being so mad. I didn't want to forgive her. I wasn't going to forgive her. Clare had made a mistake, one that effected both of us, clearly. Sure, Clare was in pain and had great regret for what she had done. But she committed the crime, and she was going to have to pay for it.

I had no intentions on forgiving Clare or "getting her back" for that matter. I felt like just ignoring her was good enough. Shutting her out of my life seemed like a good enough punishment. This was going to be an incredibly difficult task - but it was necessary. I didn't plan on allowing Clare to walk all over me and make me look like a fool.

I calmed myself down - I attempted to let go of all the anger. I impatiently sat there, waiting for Clare to call again. Although, I had no plans of picking up the phone; I still wanted her to call.. I still wanted to know that she regretted what she had done.

* * *

-Clare's POV-

"Eli pick up.." I murmured under my breath, as I stood there - in my bedroom, isolated from the world. My cell phone was pressed against my ear, as I awaited for his answer. I needed him to pick up the phone.. I needed to hear his voice.. I needed him to forgive me.

"_Hey it's Eli. I can't answer the phone right now.. So don't call back_." His answer machine stated. I couldn't help but smile.. But the smile soon faded, once I realized that I'd never get to hear one of his rude jokes or statements again.

I feel like kicking myself. I had broken the most perfect thing in my life - the _only_ perfect thing in my life. My families a mess - my dad ignores me and acts as if I don't exist; my mother is never sober and always treats me like I'm four; and now I lost Eli. Eli held my life together. When every thing was falling apart and I felt alone - Eli was there. I couldn't help but hate myself for what I have done.

I had isolated myself from happiness and the world. I had rejected love. I had thrown away some thing so.. perfect, and amazing just for one kiss. I didn't even want to kiss KC, but Eli would never believe that. Although, I understand where he's coming from.. If Eli had kissed his ex-girlfriend, then I would be in disgust. I would never want to see his face again.. I suppose he feels the same towards me.

I have honestly lost all respect for myself. I had never been so low.. I had never made such a terrible decision. I might as well run away to some where far far away, and never come back - I'm sure Eli, my parents, and every one at Degrassi would much rather have me gone. It doesn't matter though, my actions don't make a difference..

When I was with Eli; I felt important - I felt like I actually made a difference. I felt real and alive for once in my life. Just being with Eli; changed the way I looked at myself, for the better. I felt like I wasn't the brilliant geek that every one ignored anymore, I felt like I was the perfect person. Eli made me feel perfect. I could never imagine any one else making me feel the way Eli did.

I could never replace Eli. I don't think I could ever love another person. What KC and I had was nothing compared to what me and Eli had. I ruined it though. In the split second that I allowed KC to push his lips against mine.. I pushed Eli away. I will regret that one kiss, until the day Eli forgives me.. -If that day ever comes.

I grabbed my coat, and put on my shoes. I grabbed my phone, and stuck it in to my pocket. I then walked down stairs and out the door; with out even saying a word. It was raining, extremely hard and fast. The raindrops felt like knifes, as I walked down the sidewalk. I didn't even put my hood up, I wanted to be soaking wet. I didn't care if my hair was messy and wet - I didn't care if my make up looked like I did it with my eyes closed, while I was under water - I just _didn't care_.

It was a three minute walk, before I stood there; in front of the Goldsworthy home. If he wasn't going to return my phone calls or texts, then I was going to _force_ him to talk to me. I walked up the stairs and to his front door, I pounded my fist against the door. Begging for some one - _any one_ to answer.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Eli. The minute he saw that it was me, he rolled his eyes and began to shut the door. I quickly threw my hands out in front of me and pushed them against the door - pushing the door back open.

"Clare. Leave." He demanded. Although his words slowly broke my heart - I forced myself to ignore them.

"Talk to me; Please." I begged.

"No. We talked enough, it's done." He responded. His words felt like a bullet, but once again; I ignored them. The best way to get him back was to just keep on begging and let him say all that he needed to say. Even if his words were going to tear me apart; I didn't care. I just knew he needed to say them.

"Eli. It'll never be done." I replied. "Just come outside, for two minutes. Please." He seemed to be holding a debate, in his head, whether or not it was a good idea. Although, if I were him - I would never speak to me again. But Eli and I have established that we're complete opposites.. Meaning that; there's a possible chance that he will do the opposite of what I would do.

He sighed, as he stepped outside; in to the pouring rain. He shut the front door, and he began walking towards the sidewalk. I grew confused, as I followed him.

"Where are you going?" I asked,

"I'd rather argue on the sidewalk, rather then in front of my front door where my parents will be listening in on every single word you or I say." He explained.

He stopped walking once we were standing on the sidewalk - as did I. We then stood there, face to face. Not knowing the words that would soon be coming out of his mouth. I was afraid - I expected the worst, and I had prepared myself for the piercing words that he would soon unleash on my guilty conscience. I didn't mind though, I deserved all that was coming to me.

"Why?" He asked.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, confused to what he was exactly talking about.

"Why would you do that?" He restated his question, he seemed calm. Like he actually wanted to talk and not argue.

I let out a deep breath, as I stared at my shoes. I didn't even have a good answer.. that's what scared me the most. "I don't know Eli." I paused, "I don't know why I would stoop so low for such a scumbag like KC. It was the biggest mistake I've made in the longest time, and I just want you to realize that."

"Was it worth it?" He asked.

The only question that I knew the answer to. "No." I quickly answered. "Not the littlest bit... The kiss wasn't worth it,_ he's_ not worth it."

"Good." Eli simply answered - sending me in to a confusion, to why he would consider my answer _'good'_.

"Huh?" I began "Why is that good?" Eli shrugged, acting as if his answer or our conversation was nothing but an annoyance to him. It was as if he didn't want to explain anything to me - he didn't even want to talk to me. I got the feeling that me being here just pissed him off. But he hasn't told me to leave, so I don't plan on going any time soon.

"Because Clare-" He paused, hesitating to continue. "I don't feel bad for you. I actually feel happy for you." He told me, in a sarcastic tone. I gave him a confused look - giving him the idea to continue -"I'm happy that you finally admitted that you used me and that KC is who you like. I don't care, Clare. You played me, and I'm not going to take you back, I'm not going to hug you and tell you every thing's going to be okay, and I'm not going to pity you. You made a mistake. You chose a scumbag over a guy who would die for you. You chose your own path.. _Live with it_."

With those words, Eli walked away. I had the urge to run after him, and grab on to his arm. I wanted to turn him around and have our lips collide in to one anothers. But I just stood there; in shock, in pain. I had hurt Eli. I knew that from the very start that I kissed KC. But I guess I never really accepted it.

I stood there, in the pouring rain, crying. I didn't move from Eli's sidewalk for about fifteen minutes. I just stood there, crying the hardest I have in the longest time. I felt the rain dripping down my face, while it soaked my once dry clothes. I was shivering and shaking. I stared at Eli's front door; praying to God that he would come walking out of it.

I prayed to God that he would run out to me and hold me in his arms. I prayed that he would take me back and forget all the idiotic choices I've made. I prayed and prayed and prayed.. but it never happened.

* * *

-ELI'S POV-

I went in my room and played Blink182 songs. I blasted the song "Down", while I stared out my bedroom window. I watched Clare stand there, on my sidewalk - crying, by herself. It made me sick to my stomach to watch her all depressed and alone. But all of this was her fault. I did nothing wrong. All I did was called her out for hurting me.

My bedroom window was opened, giving Clare the opportunity to hear the Blink182 music that was obnoxiously blasting. I just wanted Clare to know that I was hurt.. I didn't want to talk to her or have her try to make me take her back. I just wanted her to see how messed up I was right now.

Suddenly, Clare began walking away - going in the direction towards her house. I couldn't help but frown, as she disappeared in the distance. She may have broken my heart and ruined every thing I thought was perfect.. But she was still that beautifully perfect girl I once knew.


	53. Chapter 52

**clareandeliforever** - Awwh, don't cry :( And I'm glad that you still read my story, even if it does make you sad :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Haha, you're going to have to wait and read to find out what goes on. (: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. (:  
**eclarelover4life** - I'm glad you liked it. (: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story, I really do appreciate it and it means a lot to me. (:  
**DareToDream94** - I don't plan on stopping anytime soon (: Haha, thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to this story. I really appreciate it. (:  
**MadameDegrassi96** - It's updated! (: Lol. Thank you for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to this story. I really appreciate it. (:  
**P** - Awwh, I'm sorry you cried! :( And I love that song! (: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story. I really do appreciate it. (:  
**im. an. eclare225** - No worries, I don't plan on ending my story any time soon (: Thanks for reading and reviewing, it means so much to me and to my story. I really do appreciate it. (:  
**ANIMEnerdk333** - Awwh, I'm sorry you cried /: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me. (:  
**Elinfatuated** - I'm almost positive that it was Clare who almost hit Fitz with Eli's car. Well at least, it looks like Clare's hair. I'm so excited to see what's going to happen with Fitz/Clare/Eli. I laughed so hard when Drew said the _'Yes mam.. Very'_ line. I think Alli was wearing a wig, it looked like she was. I can not wait for February! I need Degrassi back, like now! (: Haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing. (: It means a lot to me.  
**JustineHale** - Awwh! (: I'm so happy that my fanfic is one of your favorites (: That honestly means so much to me, and I really do appreciate it. Thank you. (: Also, thank you for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. (:  
**EliandClare414** - I'm glad that you think it was well written (: I'm so nervous about Fitz though, I'm scared he'll ruin Eli/Clare's amazing relationship /: He better not! Haha. And I didn't see Jenna, thankfully! Lol. Awh! Declan better not die /: I love him. I'm hoping that EClare will be involved a lot this season! Welll, thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me and to my story. (:  
**Azula Felinae** - You're going to have to wait and find out! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me - and I really appreciate it. (:  
**punkygiggles** - Blink182 is honestly amazing - I love them so much! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story. (:  
**eclare4ver** - Awh, I'm glad you liked it. (: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story. I really appreciate it. (:  
**No-Name **- You're going to have to read and find out! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me. (:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Will do (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to this story. I really do appreciate it. (:

**Song Suggestion**; "I Miss You" by Blink182  
One of my all time favorite songs ever. Blink182 is also my  
all time favorite band. I've been in love with this band all of  
my life, and no band will ever be as good as them (:  
**Blink182 forever**. (:

-Important-  
The Ellie in my story, is the exact same Ellie in Degrassi. (:  
I loved Ellie Nash, and I really wanted to include her in my story(:

Chapter Fifty Two  
"You're Already The Voice Inside My Head"

Friday.

My dad had called the school and attended a meeting with Mr. Simpson. Mr. Simpson said that since I have hardly gotten in to any trouble here, that my suspension was let up. But, I have five detentions..._ Sucks_.

I walked in to school, not expecting to be greeted or talked to by any one special. I mean, let's face it - from this point on, I will be alone. Without Clare, I am alone and for some reason.. I don't mind it. I'm not scared to take life on, by myself. I'm not scared to be all alone. Isolation isn't one of my greatest fears - to be honest, I'm used to being alone.

When I lost Julia, I sat in my bedroom.. for months, all by myself. All I had was my music and my memories. I would sit on my bed, blasting various types of depressing songs, and looking at pictures of old memories. Being by myself was okay.. Maybe losing Clare was for the better. I got to see how fake and untrustworthy she was earlier in our relationship.

It's better to find out five months in, then five years in.

I turned the hall, to see Adam and Clare walking towards me. They were laughing together, as if they were the best of friends. Wow.. Good to know who's real and who's fake.

I walked past the two, acting as if I didn't acknowledge them. I felt both of their eyes watching me, as I walked. Suddenly Adam ran to catch up with me, as Clare continued walking the opposite way by herself.

"Dude. Don't be mad." He stated. Don't tell me what to fucking be..

"Go hang out with Clare, she's single now." I coldly responded.

"Dude, I'm not gonna pick sides. And anyways, don't you think you're overreacting a bit?" He asked. What the fuck?

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? The girl went behind my back, to make out with her ex!" I exclaimed, with much anger and frustration in my voice. For a guy who is supposed to be my best friend - he surely was not acting like it.

"But Eli, you've messed up plenty of times.. Clare has always let you come back to her. Mistakes are made, and she hardly even made one." Before I could yell at him, he continued- "KC kissed her, she pushed him off and that was the end of it."

"I don't care Adam! She went behind my back and ruined this five month relationship that we had.. I'm not going to listen to you, to Clare, or to KC. It doesn't matter what any of you think. Clare is out of the picture. Time to move on." I snapped. I then walked faster, making it so Adam would realize that I was done talking to him.

I began to unlock my locker, when a familiar girl approached a locker that was a few down from mine. She began unlocking it.

"Ellie?" I asked, realizing that she was the red-head from my Social Studies group. She turned her head towards me and turned her Ipod off - taking out her ear phones. She smiled.

"Oh hey Eli. I didn't know your locker was here." I didn't know yours was there either.

"Yeah, I've never seen you around here." I began. "Sorry about yesterday. I lost my temper."

"Yeah. What was that about?" She asked, growing curious to why I had punched KC.

I shrugged, not knowing how to sum up the whole story.. "Well, KC had kissed my girlfriend. And the minute he told me, I flipped." I said, smiling at the end. "I kind of got a little out of hand though."

Ellie softly laughed - "Going to far lengths to protect the ones you love." She said with a smile. "No worries, I totally get it." Ellie paused for a moment. "Are you and your girlfriend okay?"

"Not at all. I'm done with her." I paused "Moving on."

She smiled and looked back in to her locker. "I'll see you around.. _Eli_."

"You sure will." I murmured, as I closed my locker and walked away.

* * *

At Lunch,

I had no idea where I belonged as I entered the cafeteria. I had yelled at Adam earlier this day, and Clare and I weren't on speaking terms - making it so that I couldn't sit at their table.. I looked around, and finally spotted Ellie smiling at me. She motioned for me to come sit at her table.. and I did so.

I secretly glanced at Clare and Adam, as I sat down at Ellie's table - Clare looked heartbroken and Adam seemed confused. I shrugged it off and payed all of my attention towards Ellie.

-CLARE'S POV-

"What is he doing?" I exclaimed, so confused to why Eli would sit at some random table with some random girl. Sure, we weren't dating anymore - but I didn't expect him to already be flirting with some girl. I didn't think that we were honestly over..

"Don't worry Clare; he's purposely doing this.. To make you jealous." Adam answered. As much as I wanted those words to help - they didn't. Words won't help the pain. I watched as Eli laughed at the things that that girl would say. He seemed like he was so happy, like he had already adjusted to not having me. We hadn't even broken up for a day, and he already found a new girl.

Was I really that easy to replace? If so, every thing Eli said was also a lie. He always said that I meant the world to him and there was never going to be an end to us.. But here we are, only broken up for eighteen hours and he's already all over some red-headed stranger.

I prayed that the girl was a mere distraction for Eli - a way to get his mind off of the break up and of me.. But apart of me believed that she wasn't a distraction.. she was a rebound - a new girl for Eli to go for.

* * *

-ELI'S POV-

_Worst lunch of my life_. Ellie's a great girl, believe me - but being away from Clare felt so wrong.. I always expected myself to be with Clare, for the rest of my high school life, and then maybe even longer.. But now, I don't know. I don't know who to be friends with anymore, I don't even know where to sit at lunch! I was a complete mess, and it was all because of one kiss.

Speaking of that _'one kiss'_ , I walked out of Degrassi and saw KC standing at the bottom of the stairs.. As if he was waiting for me or some thing. I walked down the stairs, and stood face to face to him. KC's lip was split, and he had a bruise under his eye. I hope he knows that if we weren't in school.. I would've done far worse than that.

"What do you want?" I asked, rolling my eyes. I didn't want to talk to KC, I just wanted to punch his face in.

"An apology."

"Alright.. Go ahead.. _Apologize_." I knew he was talking about me apologizing to him - but I loved messing with people.

"Not a chance in Hell.. I want _you_ to apologize to_ me_." He demanded. Acting like he deserved to be named the fucking king of Degrassi.

"I don't apologize to low-life, pathetic scumbags; like you." I snapped.

"I'm sure Clare would really like to hear you apologize to me." KC attempted to guilt me in to saying sorry.

"I don't give a fuck what Clare wants or likes. You can have her KC, I don't want her."

"So.. you're giving up - just like that?" He asked. I nodded, and became confused.

"Yeah.. Pretty much." I replied, sort of sarcastic - but more serious.

"That's a pretty pathetic move, if you ask me." I didn't ask you, though..

"And why's that?"

"I've heard about all the mistakes you've made with her, in comparison to her one little mistake? If any ones the bitch in this relationship.. It's you." KC replied. Yeah, because you know exactly what happens between Clare and me? Shut the fuck up.

I was getting angrier and angrier by every word that he would say.

"And you think I care what you think? You may have heard all the stuff that happened between Clare and myself - but that doesn't mean that what people say is true. Clare and I have barely even had that many problems in the past - and even if we did, it's clearly none of your business. You're in Clare's past.. Deal with it."

KC rolled his eyes and began to walk away.

"I don't need this." He murmured, almost too low for me to understand. I ignored his comment and walked towards Morty.

I wasn't in the mood to fight with people anymore. I had spent the past twenty-four hours - arguing with Clare, Adam, and KC. I was officially out of sarcastic and rude comebacks. I was sick of hearing people's voices yelling at me. I was just sick of every one and every thing.

My plan for today - lay in bed, and sleep.. But from past experience - my original plans _never_ seem to work..

* * *

-CLARE'S POV-

I entered my house; very unhappy and unaware of what was to come next. I walked up the stairs, only to bump in to Darcy - who was walking down the stairs. I didn't even look at her, let alone say her name. I wasn't in the mood to explain to Darcy how big of a mess-up I was. Darcy never made mistakes.. She was the mere definition of perfection, and I didn't want to '_disappoint_' her.

If she were to discover that I wasn't as 'classy' or 'well-mannered' as herself, then she would probably lose a lot of respect for me. As much as I could trust Darcy, and as much as I loved her - it seemed difficult to admit to my mistakes and tell her things that I have done wrong.

I entered my room and shut the door. I walked over to my Ipod player, and examined all of my songs. I wasn't in the mood to listen to any of them.. I became discouraged, until I remembered some thing that Eli had given to me.

I thought back to a few months ago, when Eli and I were in his car - just hanging out.

_"Clare, I made this for you.." Eli said, handing me a CD "It's a CD, with some of my favorite songs.. I think you would like it." _

I remembered every thing he said.. Word for word.

After remembering this memory, I went in search for that mix CD that he had made for me. I had barely ever listened to it, because it was filled with his type of music - also known as; not _my _type of music. I searched my room - every single inch of it - the CD was no where to be found.

I was on the edge of giving up, when I looked under my bed and saw a familiar CD. I grabbed it, and looked at it -

It was a blue CD, that had Eli's sloppy hand-writing all over it.

"_The Best Songs You Will Ever Hear_." Was at the top of the CD. I smiled. I loved how Eli's hand-writing was so careless, and messy. He cared more about the words he was writing, rather then what they looked like.

I took the CD out of the case, and walked over to my CD player. I put the CD in, and then took a seat on my bed. The first song that played was "I Miss You" by Blink182. I had never really listened to this band, considering the fact that they weren't in my genre of music. I usually listened to soft, acoustic or piano music. I disliked loud guitars and drums, or screamo. I especially disliked hip-hop and rap. I found it to be obnoxious.

Eli was in to alternative, screamo and rock. Our music preferences were far different from each others.. But it didn't matter.

I layed on my bed, and got lost in the song. Once the harsh and painful tears came sprinting to my eyes, I shut them tight. My eyes were shut, as I thought back to all the great times Eli and I had shared with one another. I could hear his voice in my head. I kept hearing him say 'I Love You'. Those three words sounded like the most beautiful thing coming from Eli's voice.

I would do any thing - any thing in the entire world, just to hear Eli say 'I Love You' to me one more time. I would do anything to feel Eli's lips pushed up against mine. I would do anything to have Eli.

"_Where are you? And I'm so sorry - I can not sleep, I can not dream tonight_."

The lyrics in the song were so beautiful and perfect. I missed Eli, so much. I just wish he would realize how much he meant to me and how much I needed him back. Instead, he was all over that stupid girl from lunch..

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and checked to see if Eli had called or texted me.

No missed calls.. No new text messages.

I rolled my eyes, and stood from my bed. I went over to my desk and sat down - I opened my laptop and signed in to all of my stuff. I immediately signed on to Facebook and Skype. I was going to communicate with Eli in some way, whether he wanted me to or not.

I took notice to the fact that Eli was on both Skype and Facebook. I let out a deep breath, before pressing the 'Call' button on Skype. I quickly fixed my hair, as I waited for him to answer the call.. I was nervous, to be honest.

Suddenly, Eli's face popped up on my computer screen. God.. he was beautiful.

I hesitated to speak, not knowing how to state my opinion or feelings. I let my mind and voice take control - I just sat back and watched..

"What?" Eli asked, with no emotion at all. He was acting like I was a stranger. Some one he had never even heard of or seen in his entire life.

"I uhm.." I was speechless. I probably should of planned ahead of time.. "I just wanted to talk."

"Oh." He awkwardly murmured.

"About us and about every thing that happened today."

"Yeah.. Today was interesting." He said, in more of a sarcastic tone, but what he said was true. Today was a little messy and uncontrollable. I nodded, trying to think of a way to break the awkwardness that seemed stronger then ever.

"Are you and Adam okay?" I asked, sounding very concerned - I was, I didn't want to ruin Eli and Adam's friendship.

"I don't know." He clearly didn't want to talk.

"Well, I just want you to know that.. I don't want every thing to go to Hell." I paused. "Adam can be both of our friends, I don't want to make him choose.. And maybe even we can be friends."

Silence.

Completely awkward _silence_. I sat there, begging for him to respond. He had no emotion in his facial expression - a completely blank stare was all he was giving me. I didn't know if I should restate what I had previously said, or if I should just allow the awkwardness to grow.

Suddenly, Eli spoke - "I don't know.. if being friends is okay with me." Ouch.

"Why?"

"Clare, you betrayed me. I can't trust you. I am only friends with people that I don't think will fuck me over. And to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if you screwed me over in any situation. You're untrustworthy."

"Eli - I don't want to be mean, but - KC and Adam have both said that you have done far worse things in the past to me, then I've done to you. I find it to be quite ridiculous that I can't make one mistake, with out you losing your mind." I snapped. I was going to fight back to prove to him that he was being idiotic.

"The past is the past, Clare."

"Why can't what I did be in the past then?" I yelled. "Why can only your mistakes be considered_ 'okay'_?"

"Because - none of my mistakes can even compare to yours!" He argued. Eli was kind of right, but if you add up all the wrong that he's done; then it would definitely beat mine. I rolled my eyes.

"Eli, are you kidding me?" I began "Mistakes are mistakes. I'm only human - stop treating me like I'm supposed to be perfect!" I paused "You're just like my parents; they never expected me to make one single mistake. They acted like I was perfection. You act like just because I'm _'Saint Clare'_, that I can't screw up. You act like my mistakes are far worse then every one else in this worlds. I'm sick of people treating me like I'm not allowed to mess up. Guess what, Eli - I made a mistake! And that's the end of it." I yelled.

"I'm not treating you like you're perfect! I'm not treating you the way your parents did either!" He argued. "You're right, you did make a mistake. And guess what, it's not the end of it. Your mistake made a whole new beginning. It cleared off every little memory you and I have ever shared. Your so-called '_little mistake_' has caused every thing that I ever felt for you to be completely crushed and forgotten about." He paused. "You can tell me that it's not fair; because I've made more mistakes - But that doesn't matter to me. You can't change my mind, Clare."

Tears rushed to my eyes. Was this whole thing actually real? Is it possible that me and Eli were honestly over? Tears slid down my face - as I attempted to think of a way to win Eli back; a way to make him realize that I was worth it.

"Eli.." I spoke his name, pausing after. "I need you.. So much. You are the only person I have in my life. I would do any thing to be with you. I would do any thing to go back in time and change every thing that happened between KC and me. I can't change the past - all I can do is tell you I'm sorry that what I did was so screwed up and wrong. As much as I want you to come back to me - I highly doubt you will. You held me up on this high pedestal, and I'm sorry that I couldn't reach your expectations. If you want me back, then come back to me.. But I'm not going to wait forever." I said, with tears rolling down my face. I didn't even wipe them off, I just let them fall..

"Don't wait." He paused. "Because, I'm not coming back."

I clicked the _End Call _button.


	54. Chapter 53

**Moonlit Mayhem** - Hahaha, Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. (:  
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**Song Suggestion** - "Frontline" by Pillar

**-YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED TO READ THIS-**  
I understand; no one likes drama. But you guys really need  
to trust me on this one. I have all of this planned out, and I  
know where this is going. Just trust me. PLEASE. (:

Chapter Fifty Three  
"We Fight To Live - We Live To Fight"

-ELI'S POV-

I spent my entire Friday night, alone, in my room. Pathetic as it sounds - it was the most relaxing Friday I've had in a while. I know, what I said to Clare was disturbingly harsh, but it's not my fault. I needed her to understand how I was done. I was officially done and there was no coming back from what happened. Many people have claimed that I was being an incredible douche-bag, but I don't care.. It's MY decision, no one elses.

It was Saturday morning, and I did not intend on getting up from my bed. I layed there, the blankets covering me and the sun shining through my window. I had my arm across my face - blocking my eyes from the obnoxious sun. I had no thoughts - no cares for the world. I layed there, almost falling back asleep when my bedroom door swung open.

I turned my head towards the door - expecting to see my mother or father.. But there she stood. Clare Edwards stood there - looking as if she as more frightened then she ever had been before. I immediately sat up from my bed, and gave her the most confused look in the world.

"Get up." Clare demanded, with much anger expressed through her broken voice. Her eyes were all red, and her make up was a mess. My guess - she had been recently crying; a lot. Her cheeks were more pink then ever, as she closed my bedroom door and stood there.

"Excuse me?" I responded, confused as Hell to why Clare Edwards had barged in to my room at 11 A.M. on a Saturday morning - demanding me to get up.

"We need to talk." She began "You're not going to push me away, Eli." I'll push you away if I want, I don't care how you feel. I rolled my eyes.

"Clare. Just go." I demanded.

"No." She stated, walking towards my bed, and sitting down on it - right next to me. "I sat up - all night last night, balling my eyes out. I couldn't even go to sleep till five A.M. I was laying in bed, thinking about you. I held my phone so tight in my hands - praying that you would text or call me. But it never happened." She explained.

"Well.. That's your fault." I coldly responded, not caring to how her night was spent.

"Eli. Are you kidding me?" She yelled, in disgust to how uncaring I was for her.

"Clare! I spent all of last night, sitting in my bed - not being able to fall asleep! Stop acting like you're the only one effected in this situation!" I argued back.

"You're clearly not effected - considering the fact that you're all over some red-headed stranger at Lunch all day yesterday!" Good point..

"It doesn't mean I'm not effected! I'm trying to get over you, Clare!" I yelled, "I don't want to hurt you. Trust me. It's just - I can't put myself out there after learning that you still have feelings for KC!" I yelled.

"I don't Eli!" She screamed at the top of her lungs - louder then ever before.

"Clare, I specifically asked you if you had any feelings for KC and you took like ten years to answer! That proves my point." I responded. "Stop lying, already. I'm not going to fall for it, and I'm not going to take back all the things I've said and done."

"But Eli.." She paused "I take back every thing I did to hurt you."

"Good for you." I was being harsh, I know - but I don't care.

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever met." She said quietly, looking at me with her big beautiful blue eyes.

"Violent words, Saint Clare." I sarcastically replied. I don't know why I was being such an asshole.. I just couldn't control it.

"Fuck you, Eli." Clare stated, as she stood up from the bed and turned to walk out of my room. I jumped up from my bed and ran over to her. I grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"Clare." I murmured her name, as I looked at her - she was crying so incredibly hard, and she looked so angry.

"What, Eli! What else could you possibly say to hurt me?"

"I don't want to hurt you." I stated. "I just.. I can't control being the way I am - I'm a dick, I know. And I apologize for that; but that's how I deal with situations that really hurt me.. I don't want you to hate me.. So I'm just going to say this as nice as I possibly can.." I paused for a moment, debating how to state what I planned on saying - "Clare, I love you and I think that I always will.. But_ this_ - between you and me - isn't working out.. I just can't deal with the whole KC thing, It hurts too much. I know - every one keeps saying that I'm not acting fair towards you, considering how many mistakes I've made - but.. How every one else feels about the situation doesn't effect my decision.. I'm done Clare, as much as I want you and me to work out and be together for as long as possible - We just can't. _I can't_."

Clare looked me in the eyes. I could see every single emotion she was feeling just by looking at her eyes. God, I hated this.. I hated all of this. But I just couldn't do it. I don't mean to sound crazy or over-dramatic, but I just can't.

Clare turned to the door and stormed out, slamming the door on her way. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh. My teeth were clenched together, as I felt like the whole world was turning black. No matter what; this was all my fault and that's all there was to it.

I wasn't going to cry and complain about how much I miss Clare - because I made the decision; I chose to let her go and that's all there is to it. I do miss Clare, to be honest - it's just.. I don't want to get back together with her and have her play me again. I hate giving out second chances, even if it is to people that I can't live without.

I grabbed my jacket and stormed out of my house. I entered Morty and drove towards the Dot. The Dot was a known place for KC to hang out.. I _needed_ to talk to him.

I pulled up to the Dot, and parked Morty on the side of the street. I then proceeded to exit Morty and enter the Dot. I immediately took notice to KC, Bianca, Fitz, and a few unfamiliar people sitting at a table.. As I got closer.. I noticed that Ellie was sitting right next to Fitz. _Great._.

"KC. Can we talk?" I asked, interrupting the conversation between the group that was being held. Every one that was sitting at the table- turned their heads towards me, as they all wondered what was going to happen.

Suddenly Fitz spoke - "Eli, get out of here."

"Fitz, shut the fuck up - this has nothing to do with you." I snapped. "KC - we need to talk, now." I demanded.

"I have nothing to say to you." KC responded.

"Nah, KC - come on, we can all have a _little chat _outside." Fitz stated, standing up from the table, and walking past me - pushing me with his shoulder.

Every one at the table stood up, and made there way outside - Even KC did. I walked outside and followed the group across the street, to a small alley that Fitz and I had fought in before. This was going to end bad.. I knew it. A circle type formation formed, as Fitz and KC stood in the center of it. I walked through, and stood face to face with the two.

"Alright. Let's talk." KC stated, acting all tough since he had a group of guys backing him up.

"I see how it's going to be.. I want to talk to you, so you bring all your friends to back you up, so that I don't beat the shit out of you."

"Conceited much?" Bianca spoke out from the crowd. I gave her a rude look and rolled my eyes. I then turned back to KC and Fitz.

"Fitz, you should keep your _bitch_ in line." BAD choice of words.

Fitz punched me as hard as possible in the stomach. I bent over, holding my stomach, when I felt an elbow slam against the back of my head. I fell to the floor. Fitz then sat on top of me - continuously punching me in the face, with the crowd and KC cheering him on. He punched me more times then ever before, and my face began to feel numb. Fitz then stood up, grabbing my shirt and forcing me to also stand up. I stood there, expecting the worse. I would of fought back, but I was extremely dizzy at this point.

Suddenly, KC punched me in the face - causing me to stumble backwards. I felt blood rushing out of my nose. Fitz then grabbed me back the back of my shirt and pushed me in to a bunch of garbage cans. I knocked through them all, and slammed in to the wall. I slid down the wall, and had my back pushed against the building. Fitz walked over to me and lifted his fist to punch me again, when a girl yelled from the crowd.

"Stop!" Fitz turned to see who it was. It was Ellie. Ellie walked over and gave Fitz a small push. "Stop." She said once again.

"Stay out of it!" Bianca yelled.

"No, Fitz needs to stay out of it. What happened is between KC and Eli. It has nothing to do with Fitz." Ellie argued. "Just please stop." She begged.

Surprisingly, Fitz rolled his eyes and began to walk away, the entire crowd following him. Ellie kneeled down in front of me, while I sat there. I put my hand on my nose, and felt all the blood all over it. I let out a deep breath.

"Thank you.. For helping me." I thanked her. Let's face it, if it wasn't for Ellie; I'd still be getting the shit beat out of me. She softly smiled at me.

"No big deal. Fitz is an asshole. He gets on my nerves some times."

"Then why were you with him?" I asked.

"Long story short - Last year, a girl wanted to fight me, and just when she was about to punch my face in - Fitz grabbed her and told her to stop. Ever since then, he's been getting me out of a lot of trouble and he always sticks up for me. He's one of my best friends.. He just lets his violent side take control some times." She explained. "Anyways, let's get you some where to clean you up and see the damages." She suggested.

I smiled and nodded. Ellie then stood up, and grabbed my hands; helping me stand up.


	55. Chapter 54

**sociallyawkward7** - Haha, I'm glad that you like that (: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. (:  
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**Azula Felinae** - No. Eli is just very angry that Clare kissed KC - Eli wants to be done with Clare, because he doesn't want her to hurt him again. If you are still confused, then just tell me and I'll explain further. (: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story - It means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. (:  
**im. an. eclare225** - Awwh, I'm glad you think I'm awesome :P Hahaha. (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. (:  
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**Song Suggestion** - "Almost Lover" by The Fine Frenzy

Chapter Fifty Four  
"Did I Make It That Easy To  
Walk Right In And Out Of My Life?"

Ellie led me in to the Dot bathroom. She grabbed a bunch of napkins and drenched them in water. After doing so, she cleaned my face off with them.

"How's the damage?" I asked, not wanting to look in the mirror and see how bad it really was.

"Eh.. I would say that he barely scratched you.. But I'd be lying." She responded, I sighed and turned to look in the mirror. I had a giant bruise forming on my right cheek. My lip had a deep cut. Finally, right above my eye brow was a smaller bruise, with a scratch in the middle of it.

I could care less about my appearance - but having to explain this to my parents wasn't some thing I was looking forward to. I also don't want to give Fitz a satisfaction feeling, when he sees me on Monday and realizes how much damage he's really caused.

"Who would of guessed that Fitz could do this much damage with _only three hundred punches_." I responded sarcastically. Ellie smiled and softly laughed.

"It's all good. What goes around comes around - Fitz will get his karma soon enough, he always does." I nodded,

"Hopefully."

* * *

I walked in to my house, to enter chaos. I rolled my eyes as the loud voices, that were being let out by my mother and father, ran through my ears. I entered the kitchen, not caring if either of the two were to take notice to my broken face. I opened the refrigerator, and grabbed orange juice. As I held the carton in my hand - I looked at my parents.

I couldn't even tell what either of them were saying; they were just screaming over each others voices - seeing who could go the loudest. I had a big enough headache, I really wasn't in the mood to listen to them. I grabbed a cup and poured the orange juice in it. After doing so, I walked up the stairs. My parents didn't even look at me - let alone acknowledge me by saying my name or asking what happened.

They just didn't care, but they never had before. I didn't expect things to change. I just expected at least a hello; or some thing rather then ignoring me.

I reached my room, and shut the door. I went in to my bathroom, and looked in the mirror. God, my face was a total mess. I examined the bruises and cuts - to make sure there wasn't any thing too serious. After doing all of this, I entered my room and sat down on my bed - as I did, my computer began to make ringing noises - meaning that some one was video-calling me on Skype.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to my computer. I sat down, and saw Clare's name popping up on my screen. _Answer.. Or don't answer?_

I answered.

"Eli. I heard what happened, are you okay?" She asked immediately - not even giving me the chance to say hello.

"Don't worry about it.. Clare.. Just don't." I didn't mean to be mean, I just wasn't in the mood to deal with her at this point. I had the biggest headache ever, and I wasn't in the greatest mood either. Also - I did this all for Clare. I put my neck on the line.. _for Clare_.

"Can you at least tell me what happened.. Please." She begged. I sat there, in silence, for a few moments - debating whether or not I even should explain what happened. I felt like if I told her I went there to talk to KC - she would believe that I wanted her back. But then again, if I don't tell her - she'll know that it has some thing to do with her.

So either way, I should tell her - "I went to the Dot, to talk to KC.. KC and his friends decided that we should talk outside. So about me, and twenty of KC's friends were standing in an alley across from the Dot - By the way, Fitz and Bianca happened to also be there." I paused. "So, Bianca said some thing bitchy, and I told Fitz to keep his bitch in line - Once I did this.. The fight began. Two vs. One wasn't the greatest situation for myself. Lucky enough, Ellie stopped the fight before it got too far."

"Wait.. Ellie stopped it? The girl you were with at lunch?"

"Yep. She really came through for me.." I said, attempting to make her feel even worse then she already did. Ellie was cute, but I could never move on that quick. I still love Clare, and I don't intend on getting in to anything with Ellie. I'd rather keep her as a friend, and maybe one day, when I'm over Clare - Our friendship will form in to some thing else.

"Wow.. Quite a story." Clare responded awkwardly. I did feel bad for talking so positive about Ellie, to my ex-girlfriend of only a few days - But I won't regret any thing I say.

"Yeah. So I'm gonna go now." I stated, about to click the End Call button - when Clare stopped me.

"No!" She shouted, catching me off guard - and forcing me to pause.

"What?" I asked, confused. Clare knew it was over.. Why does she insist on torturing both of us, by making us talk all the time?

"Just.. Can I at least say goodbye to you.. Before I leave for vacation?" Clare asked.

I paused and silence took over. I had to debate whether or not it was a good idea..

I didn't think it was a good idea, to be honest. Clare and I were over, and we both needed to face it. As much as I wanted this to continue and as much as I wanted her back - it didn't matter. Some times what you want, isn't what you need. You should always go off of your instincts, rather then your heart. Let's face it, I lose trust and respect for people VERY easily, and it's incredibly hard - maybe impossible - for those people to gain it back.. I don't think I can give it back to Clare.

"I'm sorry. I can't." I said, sympathetically. Clare awkwardly nodded and avoided looking at me as she sighed.

"Alright. Forget I said any thing. Bye Eli." She quickly ended the call and I couldn't help but feel a little bad.. But then again, it was for my own good.

I let out a small sigh, as I closed my laptop and then proceeded to run my fingers through my hair. I stood from my desk and made my way to my bed. Sleep sounded like the best thing possible right now. My face felt like hell, and my mood wasn't any better.. A good nap could possibly help. _Doubt it though_..

* * *

My eyes shot open at one AM. I yawned, as I sat up from my bed. I grabbed my cell phone and saw that I had no new messages and no missed calls. Ever since Clare and I ended things.. I feel shut out from the world. My phone never lights up with a text message or phone call. Clare and I used to always be talking, no matter what situation or where we were - we'd always be on the phone. I missed that.

I don't want to keep reminding myself of what I lost. I'd rather remind myself of how much I gained. I'm single now - Completely free. Freedom some times means pain.. Maybe at first, it does. Because I'm not going to lie, being free never felt so bad. Although, I believe that in the near future I'll realize how much better it is.

I decided that I needed a drive, I needed to get my mind off things. I grabbed my shoes and put them on. I then grabbed my car keys, wallet and phone before exiting my room and house.

There was an intense thunderstorm going on. The rain had nearly soaked me, and I was only outside for fifteen or thirty seconds. I liked the rain though. If I had a lot of hatred or sadness in me - I loved the rain. I felt like nature was also pissed off at every one.

When I entered Morty, I immediately turned one of my CD's on. This CD contained some of my favorite bands.

The music was blasting, and I didn't know where I was going. All I was doing was driving, and praying to God that I would remember my way back. I was going down a dark road, one that seemed to be very isolated from all the others. I saw a girl, walking down the road - with her hood up. The rain had soaked her. She was facing the opposite direction of me, preventing me from seeing her face.

I become curious, so I pulled my car about next to her and drove slower. It was _her. _I could tell from the minute I began driving next to her. Why was she here, what was she doing?

"Clare!" I yelled her name, after rolling down my window. Her head snapped towards me, as she looked more confused then ever. She squinted her eyes - to attempt to see who I was.

"Eli?" She said,

"Get in the car." I demanded.

"What?"

"Get in the car!"

I know, we weren't dating - I mean, we weren't even friends - I just didn't want Clare walking alone, on a dark road, by herself, in the pouring rain, at one in the morning. Didn't seem like her smartest idea ever..

She walked around Morty and entered the passenger's seat.


	56. Chapter 55

**clareandeliforever **- Haha, I'm glad you're still going to read it! (: And here's your update. (: Thank you for reading and reviewing. It honestly means so much to me and to the story. I really appreciate it. (:  
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**peacelovedegrassi **- Hahahaha Lmao! She should be sleeping! :P Haha. Thank you for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to the story. (:  
**Azula Felinae** - You're going to have to read to find out. (: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me and I really appreciate it. (:

**Song Suggestion** - "Never Say Never" by The Fray

Chapter Fifty Five  
"Don't Let Me Go"

**Silence**.

The car was in complete and disturbing silence, as the only thing that covered the awkwardness was the sound of the rain pounding against the roof and windows of my car. I reached for the volume nod, and turned up the volume. The song "What Went Wrong" by Blink182 began. I debated whether or not I should change it, considering the fact that it was a break up song.. I decided to let it play.

Clare didn't say a word, as she stared forward, barely even blinking. You could barley hear our breathing - we were like zombies.

"_I can't forgive - can't forget - can't give in. What went wrong? Cause you said this was right.. You fucked up my life_." These lyrics practically spoke the story of Clare and me at the moment. I couldn't forgive, I couldn't forget, and I didn't plan on giving in.

I was a stubborn person - one that didn't back down from any thing or any one. Once my mind was made up - there was no turning back, whether or not I wanted to. I heard Clare let out a deep sigh, I glanced at her and saw that she was now staring outside the side window - preventing me from seeing her face or even making eye contact.

I rolled my eyes, as I put my attention and focus back on the road ahead of me. To be honest, I had no idea where the fuck I was - but I didn't care. I guess that being lost seemed like the perfect thing possible at the moment. I didn't want to be home - I didn't want to be stuck in my bedroom - for once I was out of the house.. Even if I was stuck with Clare.

A half hour quickly went past, in silence, and we were still completely lost. I wasn't planning on informing Clare that I had no idea where I was - I don't think Clare even cared to begin with. I glanced at Clare - only to catch her staring at me. I rose my eyebrows - giving her permission to tell me what ever it seemed like she had to tell me. She nodded referring to no - acting as if she had nothing to say.

"Do you know where we are?" I asked her. This is going to be awkward..

"Not really." She paused. "_Not at all_, actually."

I awkwardly nodded and turned my eyes back to the road ahead of me. I really didn't want to admit that we were totally fucked at the moment. It was an awkward enough situation, with out having to include my stupidity for driving with out paying attention and getting us in the middle of nowhere. We had been driving down this dark road, for the past half hour - there was no places or houses surrounding it. The road was surrounded by many trees - and to be honest, it was quite creepy.

"Why? .. Do you?" She asked, suspiciously. I wouldn't of asked you if I knew..

"I do. Don't worry." Lies. Yeah, I always seemed to tell those even when I didn't mean to. Trust me, I didn't want to lie to Clare about knowing where we were - but I wasn't a complete dumbass, I'd eventually see some thing recognizable, making it easy for me to return the both of us home. I wouldn't fuck this up.. Well, at least I hoped.

"What were you doing anyways?" I asked her, she gave me a confused look. "Like- why were you walking around, alone, in the rain, on a dark creepy road, at one in the morning?" I asked. I had the right to be curious - it was a weird situation.

"I don't know.." She paused. "I was just sick of being trapped in my dumb room. And taking walks gets my mind off things that aren't going well for me." She explained. I couldn't help but feel sympathetic for her - She didn't have a good home life, and barely any friends anymore - us being over didn't add to her happiness. "Now, my turn - what were you doing?" She paused. "Driving around, alone, in the rain, on a dark creepy road, at one in the morning?" She said, with a slight smile - using the same words that I had before.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh - "Well.. Just as you - I didn't want to be home, and I was really pissed off."

"How's your face?" She asked, after a second or two - we both began to laugh - her question sounded more like an insult then a question. "You know what I mean!" Clare stated, with a smile.

"It hurts.. _Bad_." I responded. "I feel like my cheek is unable to move - but weirdly, my lip has already starting healing.. I think it only seemed so bad before because of all the blood. The cut on my lip isn't even that deep, but my cheek is horrible." I explained.

"What did Ellie do.. To stop the fight?"

"She just yelled _stop_, and ran over to the two of us. She told Fitz that it wasn't any of his business and he needed to stop. Apparently, the two are really good friends - so he listened to her. Ellie then took me to the Dot bathroom and cleaned all the blood off my face and I drove her home." I answered. I gave good detail - making Clare feel even more jealous.

"Oh." _Awkward_, "Did KC say anything or hit you too?" Funny how she wants to know what KC did..

"Uhm.. He punched me once, and barely even said a word. Fitzy boy did most of the damage and talking. KC doesn't have the guts to do any thing ever since I punched him." I replied. "Of course Bianca had to throw in her stupid-bitchy comments, like always."

"Bianca is quite the _bitch_." Saint Clare swearing - Never thought I'd see the day. I smiled at her, when suddenly the car went over some thing, causing a small crashing noise, I stopped the car and immediately exited it - as did Clare. The rain was weighing heavily on the two of us, as we went to the back of the car. I suddenly took notice to the back tire being flat. I let out a loud sigh, as I bent down to see what had caused the flat.

I suddenly noticed several pieces of glass stuck in the sides and bottom of the tire. I then looked back at the side of the road to see empty bottles of alcohol laying all around on the ground.

"Apparently people drink here, and don't pick up their garbage." I stated while standing up, yelling over the loud rain.

"What happened?" Clare asked, with fear in her voice.

"I ran over like four beer bottles, and the glass popped my tire." I paused. "In other words - _we're fucked_."

"But my parents have run over glass before, and there tires never popped!" Clare argued, acting as if I was lying.

"_Okay_.. But mine did." I responded, with an annoyed voice. The fact that she would even argue with what happened was ridiculous. Just.. This whole thing was ridiculous.

Clare rolled her eyes - "Now what?"

"We either walk for a good two hours, and we'll be back at 4:30 AM.. Or we spend the night in the car." I suggested. I'd much rather spend the night in my car, but then again - sleeping in a small space with my ex-girlfriend didn't seem like the greatest idea ever.

"Let's just sleep in the car. I don't see the point in walking." Clare answered. We then entered the car. We were both extremely soaking, for the rain came down harder on us then I had thought. My hair and clothes were drenched, as were hers.

"Maybe we should of gotten right back in the car, rather then debate in the pouring rain." I stated, smiling. Clare giggled.

"That would of been a good idea." She paused. "Wait! Do you have your cellphone, I can call Darc and she can come get us." Clare suddenly had a good idea - Thank God.

I searched my pockets for my phone, and finally found it. I flipped it open and the light didn't light up.. Out of battery. _Great_.

"It's dead?" She asked, I nodded. And she let out an annoyed sigh.

"How bout yours?"

"I didn't bring it. I didn't think I was going to get lost in the middle of nowhere, in a hearse." She answered. "How are we even going to sleep in here?"

"_Well_.." I began, I think Clare knew exactly what I was thinking.

"No way in hell are we sleeping in the backseat!" She yelled immediately.

"Clare, what else do you have in mind?" I replied,

"We can make this work in the front seat! I refuse to sleep in the back of a hearse!"

"Clare. Honestly, it's not a big deal."

"It isn't to you - but it is to me. I'm deadly afraid of hearses, and I refuse to sleep back there. I absolutely refuse." Stubborn Saint Clare.

"You're being ridiculous." I began "If you don't want to sleep back there - then don't. I will. Have fun in the front seat, by yourself." I responded. As I slid through the space between the two chairs and entered the back seat. There wasn't any seats in the back, all there was - was empty space. Lucky enough for me, I had a pillow and a blanket back there - since I used to always spend the night in my car, when Julia passed.

Suddenly, I heard noise, and looked back to see Clare sliding through the two front seats.

"I don't want to be alone." She stated, as she sat next to me. "Pillows and blankets?"

"Yeah. I've had them in here ever since Julia died. I used to sleep in here a lot."

"And you never got scared?" Clare acted as if it was absolutely terrifying to sleep in here. I know, it was out of the ordinary and a bit weird - but a car is a car, not a person; I'm not scared of automobiles.

"Not really. I think it's comforting and relaxing in here.. It's quiet, and empty." I explained. She nodded - I then grabbed the pillow and blanket and layed down. I left enough room on the pillow, and enough blanket for Clare to lay down next to me.

She hesitated at first - acting as if I was one of her fictional vampires or some thing. Clare then proceeded to slowly lay down. She rested her head on the pillow, and I layed the blanket on top of her. We both stared at the roof of the car - not knowing what to say, whether or not we should talk or just go to sleep.

"Would you rather." She randomly stated.

"Huh?"

"Let's play - _would you rather_ - but with people." She suggested, as she turned her head to face mine, I maneuvered so that my head was facing hers too. We were laying there, face to face - inches away.. Just talking.

"Alright fine. You first." I replied.

"Alli or Jenna."

I paused, thinking of who to pick - "Alli." I answered. "Dave or Wesley?"

She hesitated to answer - "Wesley. Dave is obsessed with Allie." Clare explained.

"Didn't Allie shut him down though?"

"Multiple times." She answered. "Allie or Ellie"

I paused- "Ellie." Now, that's awkward. "Drew or Peter."

"Peter. Drew has a big ego." She explained. "Bianca or Jenna"

"Jenna. Bianca is a bitch." Clare laughed, as I smiled. "Johnny or Dave"

"Dave." Clare suddenly paused. I immediately became nervous. "Ellie or.. _me_."

Honestly, I should of seen this one coming. Agreeing to play this game was the most idiotic thing I could of possibly done. How could I have not seen this one coming? Clare wanted to see if she was still important to me - if I had gained feelings for another girl. I don't blame Clare - even if we aren't dating; I still want to see if I come before KC.

Although, the fact is - I can't simply even decide at this point. On one hand - no matter what, I will always and forever have feelings for Clare; she was the first girl after Julia, and I care about Clare more then any one I've ever known. She has made me so much different then before - in a good way. With out Clare - I wouldn't of ever gotten over Julia, and I never would of became happy again.

On the other hand - Ellie's new; a fresh start - some thing to get my mind off of every one and every thing else. With Ellie - I had no past, a new start. When you don't have history with some one - it's some times better. It gives you the chance to change all your flaws and make them unnoticeable.

We layed there - silently. She was awaiting for my answer and I wasn't sure if she was going to get one. I debated back and forth in my head - attempting to just decide and stop being so confusing. I was way too confused at this point, and my final decision was to just stay silent.. Eventually, Clare would get the hint.. _Hopefully_.

"Eli.." She stated my name, probably confused to why I was so quiet.

"Uh huh." I mumbled, not even wanting to talk at this point. I was in deep thought - attempting to sort every thing out.

"You don't have to answer.. I understand - it's awkward - but it's just a game. I wasn't trying to force you to make any decisions, or to put you in an awkward position. I just was curious to how you felt about Ellie." Clare explained. No matter what she said - this whole thing was going to remain awkward.

"Well.. How do you think I feel about Ellie?" I wanted her perspective - her point of view.

"Well.." She paused. "I think.. You have feelings for her - well at least tiny ones. I always see you talking to her at school, you sat with her at lunch, you were in her social studies group and she saved you from getting your face rearranged. She clearly means some thing to you." Clare let out a deep breath after rambling. I could tell she wasn't too excited about the topic.. And the weird part was.. I wasn't either.

I almost wanted Clare to bad mouth Ellie. I wanted to have a reason to not like Ellie. I didn't want Ellie, right now.

"And if you're ready to move on.. Then move on. Me having feelings for you shouldn't hold you back. All of this - this entire thing is all my fault, and I've finally set that in my mind. I agree with every thing you said before. I caused the damages - I have to pay the prices." Clare paused. "And _please_ don't let me hold you back. Don't allow me to be the reason why you're not getting some other girl. You're amazing, Eli.. I didn't appreciate it enough; so now, another girl should."

What Clare was saying surprised me.. I didn't like it. I wanted Clare to still love me, I wanted her to tell me that she needed me back in her life, I wanted her. I pushed her away, I know.. But just being here - alone with her, was the most amazing thing possible. When I saw the flat tire, some thing in me was happy.

"How are you and the guys?" I asked, slightly changing the subject. "In terms of KC."

"Uhm.." She paused, and let out a deep breath, "I haven't really spoken to KC.. Since every thing happened. He's texted me a few times, but I never replied. To be honest, no guys even acknowledge me - it's like I'm invisible at Degrassi."

"Are you kidding?" I began; "Any guy would be insanely lucky to have you, Clare. Don't be hard on yourself. You'll find some one out there, I know it." Why was I doing this to myself, honestly?

Clare immediately smiled, and her cheeks turned red. I then extended my arm out, and Clare maneuvered her body so that her head laying on my chest and her body was against the side of mine, I then rested my extended arm on the side of her stomach, as we cuddled.

We didn't speak another word for the whole night. Neither of us were speaking, but we both knew that the other one was awake. We just layed there, holding on to each other like it was the last time we would ever be able to.


	57. Chapter 56

**elanna** - Awwh, I'm glad you think so (: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I really appreciate it. (:  
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**EliandClare414** - Errr, I can't think of anything! :/ I'm sorry! I would suggest just thinking really hard about it. I wish I could give you an idea, or at least better advice /: I really hope you do good on your assignment though! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to the story. (:  
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**degrassiisforever **- Haha. I love Eli too! :P I'm really really happy that you think my story is amazing, it means so much to me! (: And this is my first fanfiction in the longest time, so I was still getting the hang of it - sorry for ending the chapters like that! (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means so much to me and I really appreciate it. (:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Here's the update! :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story - I really do appreciate it. (:  
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-Nothing really happens this chapter;  
I just haven't updated in the longest time,  
because Finals are coming up :O  
Sorry for making you guys wait though!  
It won't happen again, I promise. (:

Chapter Fifty Six  
"You Gotta Fast Car"

My eyes slowly opened, as I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. I loved Morty - but he didn't even compare to a bed or any thing comfortable for that matter. As I slowly sat up, I took notice to the fact that Clare was no longer laying next to me. I grew obnoxiously paranoid-

"Clare!" I screamed, when suddenly the trunk door swung open and there stood Clare Edwards.

"Calm down, Goldsworthy. I'm right here." She responded,

"Where did you go?" I asked, curious to why she wasn't laying next to me.

"I got up like three hours ago, and walked down the road. After walking for like five minutes, I ran in to a house. I knocked on the door and there was man and a woman there, who were extremely nice, and they let me use their phone to call Darcy."

"Darcy's coming?"

"Yes sir." She replied, smiling.

"In how long?"

"Fifteen to ten minutes." She answered. _Thank God_, I did not want to walk all the way back.

I nodded, not responding - leaving a silence to over take the two of us. I couldn't help but feel like this was all just turning awkward. Last night, things seemed to be getting back to normal - like we were fixing the things that were wrong between the two of us - but now that I have gotten sleep; I've come to realize that I feel a little.._ weird_ about all of this.

Clare suddenly motioned for me to exit Morty - I did so, as I slowly climbed out of the back seat - and stood there, face to face with Clare Edwards; my ex-girlfriend. I could barely breathe as we made eye contact - it was as if we were about to kiss. I let out a deep breath, as I turned my head to the side - breaking our intense eye contact.

I know myself well enough to know that if I were to allow this kiss to happen - I would regret it. Clare hurt me, and I know how bad it feels for the person you're in love with, to do some thing so unexpected - and hurtful. I didn't want to kiss Clare and then tell her that me and her were never going to become any thing - I didn't want to put her through that.

I put my hands in my pocket, and took a few steps forward - staring at the road ahead of me. I could practically feel Clare's eyes staring at me.

"Ever wonder.. What things would be like if you could go back in time and change the past?" I asked. Random question - but I had this sudden feeling of curiosity to her answer.

"Things would be much better." She answered, slowly walking up to me and standing next to me - staring at the road ahead also. "What would you change?"

"Honestly?"

"_Honestly_."

"Julia's death. I would go back in time and stop her from riding away - I would make sure she stayed safe; with me." I answered. It was the truth. Losing Julia was my biggest regret. "And you?"

"I would change.. _So much_." She answered, exaggerating how she said_ 'So Much'_. Like before, I grew curious -

"_Like_?"

"I would stop my parents from fighting or divorcing. Their first fight was at the beginning of this year. They fought over how my dad couldn't attend my Math competition. Every thing escalated from there.. I always feel like I caused all of their fights." She paused. "I'd change every thing I had with KC. I would never have gone to his apartment.. I would never have let him kiss me. I would of deleted his contact from my phone, and just completely shut him out." She explained.

I was silent; I didn't have the slightest idea of what to say - I just let my mind speak, rather then controlling it.. "I personally believe that going back in time is a bad idea.. We learn from the past, and if it wasn't for the past.. We wouldn't be who we are."

"I suppose you're right." Clare replied. "No regrets, right?"

"Yes mam." I replied, with a smirk.

Suddenly, Darcy's car pulled up, with Peter in the passenger's seat. The two exited the car, and Peter went to the trunk to grab a spare tire. I never knew that Darcy and Peter were even back to being friends. I thought that they despised each other.

* * *

It only took me and Peter twenty minutes to successfully switch the tires and get Morty going. Clare entered the passenger's seat, and I entered the driver's seat of Morty. I started the car, and Clare immediately changed the radio station. She stopped at a song called "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman.

She instantly smiled, as the song began. I couldn't help but smirk, as I glanced at Clare - who was mouthing the words.

"This song.. It reminds me of you." She stated, in between verses.

"And why is that?"

"I don't know. _Just does_." She replied, leaving out detail.

Clare then continued to softly sing along to the song. I smiled, as I payed attention to the road ahead of me. Most people would consider Clare and awkward person.. But she was confident and more outgoing then you would think.

Clare was Clare - _Perfect_.

* * *

The rest of the drive was normal - a few jokes, some awkward silences, and just insignificant conversation. I dropped Clare off at her house, and then made my way to mine..

I entered my house, to see yet another fight going on. My parents still hadn't noticed the bruises covering my face. Peter had mentioned it, while we were fixing the tires - I told him the real story, he was only a few years older then me - it's not like he cared. But I wasn't sure if my parents would be as cool about it, as Peter was. Although, they never really pay attention to me anyways..

I walked in to the kitchen, while my parents were in the living room. I grabbed left over pasta from a few nights back, and put it in the microwave. I suddenly heard my mom call my name - This was not going to go well.

I entered the living room - and immediately received shocked faces.

"Where were you? What _happened to you_?" My mother, concerned, yelled.

"Morty broke down - so I crashed in the trunk." I paused. "And what do you mean _'what happened to you'_?" I knew exactly what she meant, but being a smart ass was some thing I liked being.

"Elijah. You know exactly what your mother is talking about - don't be a smart ass. I've only been back for a few weeks and you already seem to be more out of control then you were before. Now answer the damn question - what happened to you?" My dad went off.

He always blew up over stupid stuff, that was insignificant. He didn't even care about what happened to me, but he wanted to seem like the concerned dad, who cared for his son. Drop the act, dad, you look like an idiot.

"Nothing happened to me - when did you start caring, anyway? You didn't seem to care so much when you abandoned me and mom - when you knew that she didn't have the job or money to support this family on her own. You didn't seem to care when you were attempting to ruin my life, by making me move in with you. You never cared - so why start now?" I asked, I didn't meant to be such an asshole; but I honestly despise this man. He ruined my childhood, and I'll never forgive him for that.

"Don't you dare disrespect me!" He yelled, louder then ever before. "Answer your mother's question!" He demanded.

"I got jumped! Are you happy now?" I yelled.

"And this is why I didn't want you at that Degrassi place! It's for kids who are disrespectful and violent!" My dad replied;

"Dad, welcome to the world! Every thing and every one is violent now! Stop acting like you never knew that before." I replied.

"Get upstairs." My dad said, his fist clenched at his sides - he looked like he was about to flip out. I didn't move. "Now!" He screamed.

I rolled my eyes and walked up the stairs. That man was out of his mind.


	58. Chapter 57

**sociallyawkward7 **- Hahaha (: You're going to have to keep on reading! (: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me. (:  
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**Song Suggestion** - "Look After You" by The Fray (:

-This is sort of random; but I just wanted you guys to know - that I'm so  
thankful for you guys reviewing, and it honestly means the world to me. (:

Chapter Fifty Seven  
"If I Don't Say This Now..  
I Will Surely Break"

It was 10:30 at night, although it was a Sunday - and I had school the next morning - I didn't care. I just really needed to get out of this house. My room used to be the place where I spent more then enough of my free time.

My room used to be the only place that I actually felt okay. But ever since my dad moved back; I can't help but feel like this whole house has _'Fuck My Life'_ written all over it. All the drama and lies from my childhood feel so much more alive now.

Let's face it; my family was never okay. My brother and sister aren't even involved anymore. My parents fight like it's their jobs - and I just.. don't fit in here.

Once I'm eighteen, I'm getting out of here. The minute that I turn eighteen is the same minute that I will be exiting this house - no, it wasn't even a house.. It was more like an alternate for Hell.

Enough thinking about leaving - it's time to actually do it. I had sneaked out more times then I could count; one more time wouldn't hurt. I grabbed my shoes and walked downstairs. I walked around - curious to see what my parents could even be doing at this point. I entered the living room to see my dad, sleeping on the couch. I then glanced in the kitchen to see my mom looking in the fridge.

I slowly and quietly made my way towards the door. I really didn't want my mom to hear me and ask why I was leaving so late on a school night. I opened the door - hesitating to; but eventually did. I slipped through the small opening that I had created and slowly shut the door.

I then was walking down the streets, with my hands buried in my pockets. I planned to visit the Edward's home. I don't know exactly why I was continuously putting myself in this situation..

The situation where I'm forced to stare at Clare, with out having the ability to wrap my arms around her and kiss her with as much emotion and love as I possibly could. Clare saw me for me, and I loved that about us. But this_ 'us'_ thing, that I tend to mention a lot, doesn't exist.

Clare and I are _not_ dating.. As many times as I say that, I highly doubt I'll ever believe it.

I stared down at my feet, all the way until I reached her home. I looked up - just staring. I had no intentions on even calling Clare or throwing rocks at her window. It was as if just staring at her house was enough for me..

Staring at a house gets boring after a while...

After realizing that; I grabbed my phone from my pocket, and flipped it open. I slowly clicked the 'Contacts' button, and went to Clare's name.. It killed me just to see her name. It made me feel like shit, to be honest. I felt so bad because we were over, and I just kept dragging it on.

I clicked call and pressed the phone up to my ear. Each ring felt like it lasted a million years.

"Hello there." She greeted me, sounding as if she was caught off guard.

"Hey, uhm, what are you doing?" I asked, hesitating. I honestly had thoughts of hanging up and sprinting back to my house.. I know- I sound like I'm in preschool..

"Just finishing up some homework. Why, what's up?" Clare responded.

"Oh, well if you're busy then - _never mind._" I stated,

"No, no." She quickly interrupted. "Just tell me what you need to say."

"I'm outside, if you want to do some thing." I stated, so quietly and awkwardly. I was never an awkward person, I always didn't care - I've always had that image of not caring, but for some reason.. Clare changed it.

"Oh okay, I'll be out in a minute." With out another breath or word - she hung up the phone. I couldn't help but smirk as I closed my phone and placed it in my jean pocket. I waited there for only a minute - before Clare came walking out. She closed the door slowly, attempting to stay quiet so her mom wouldn't notice.

"Bad ass Saint Clare sneaking out - and getting away with it?" I joked, she rolled her eyes and approached me.

"What did you want?" She asked - as we made eye contact. I got lost in her beautifully big blue eyes. They were like never-ending oceans. They were filled with such emotion. I snapped myself out of the trance I was in.

"Uhm, just.." I paused once again. _What did I want_? "Uhm, just wanted to talk."

"Oh." And the awkwardness begins.. "Darcy covered for me.. With my mom."

"Oh really? What did she say?" I asked.

"My mom was screaming at me, claiming I was never home last night. But Darcy saw my mom drinking last night, so she pulled the _'Yes she was mom, but you were passed out'_." She explained. "Dodged a bullet there.." She added with a smirk.

I smiled, "Good." I paused "See.. Things didn't go as smoothly for me.. I walked in and got lectured." I admitted.

"What did your mom say?" She asked, assuming it was my mom who did all the yelling.

"More like - what my dad said." I responded. "They asked me why I had all these bruises and cuts, I was being a smart ass and me and my dad argued about it. He sent me upstairs, and I stayed in there till now." I explained.

"Awh. Parents suck." Clare sympathetically stated - pausing before continuing - "Thank you.. Eli, for picking me up last night and just.. For being nice to me." God, I wanted to kiss her.

"Anytime Clare." I responded, with the smallest - but noticeable - smile on my face. Silence took over, not the bad kind though.

"I really better go.. I have to get all my stuff ready for Tuesday."

"Tuesday? What's happening Tuesday?" I was confused,

"Vacation - the two week one, that I told you about?" She answered - refreshing my memory.

I wasn't sure if her leaving for two weeks was a good or bad thing. We were finally beginning to grow much closer and our broken relationship and friendship seemed to be coming all back together. Clare and I weren't just on speaking terms.. It was like we were back to the old us - we were back to when we were just becoming friends.

Her leaving could be a good thing though.. I promised myself that I wouldn't get close to Clare and I really didn't want to. I was scared of rejection and heartbreak - I always have been. Even if I missed her, it could be a good chance for me to forget her and get over her.

"Oh." I awkwardly murmured- "What time you leaving?"

"Well, I'll be at school tomorrow and then on Tuesday morning - at like seven in the morning - I'm leaving."

"Where are you going again?"

"Our summer home, it's only an hour or so away." She answered.

We were silent. Why did the idea of her leaving for such a long period of time make me so depressed?

"Clare." I stated, as we stared in to each others eyes.

"Eli." She responded, not expecting what I was about to do.

And in that single moment..

Our lips collided.


	59. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. PLEASE READ. **

Well.. I have an incredibly big decision for all of you to make. I have a storyline in my head..  
One that involves the story ending in about three or four chapters. I really don't want to drag  
this story on and ruin it.

If I were to end the story, I would definitely begin writing a new EClare fanfiction.

I just really don't know if I should end it or not; apart of me is telling me to - so that  
I don't drag the story on, and so I can begin another EClare story.

I just really really don't know what to do. Please tell me what you guys think.  
Your opinions matter the most to me. (:

I really really need all of you guys to let me know what you think.

**-EClareObsession**


	60. Chapter 58

**BTW; **I'm responding to the reviews from last chapter, not the Author's Note (:

**clareandeliforever** - Hahahaha! (: I hope that's not a bad thing! Lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. (: It means so much to me. (:  
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**EliandClare414** - Ooh, well tell me how it goes! (: I really hope you do good on it! (: I pinky promise that I will put all my heart in to my next EClare story, just like I did for this one. (: I'm really happy that you enjoyed this story so much, it really does mean a lot to me. (: Thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing my story, it means so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (:

I've officially decided.** This story will be coming to an end.** :(  
I'm guessing that I have about.. Two more chapters after this one.  
BUT, the good news is.. Once I'm finished writing this story; I will begin another EClare fanfic (:

**Song Suggestion** - "All That I Am" by Parachute

Chapter Fifty Eight  
"Just Take Me Away"

As our lips continued to press against one anothers - every moment, the kiss became more intense and fulled with more passion. I wrapped my arms so tightly around her waist, as she wrapped her arms around my neck. We slowly pulled our lips apart, resting our foreheads on one anothers, as we continued to have our arms wrapped around each other.

We were silent. The only thing that either of us could hear was each other breathing. She breathed in, I breathed out, she breathed out, I breathed in. I tightened my grip on her - I didn't even think it was possible to hold her any tighter then I already was. For some reason, I felt like the tighter I had her - the more real this all was.

"Eli." She spoke my name, sounding like she was either confused or happy; maybe even both. I let out a deep breath - sort of signaling Clare to continue. "What does this mean?" Clare spoke in a quiet tone, seeming as if she was scared to even speak to me.

"I don't know." I paused, confused as much as she was. "_What does it mean_?" I asked, redirecting the question towards Clare.

She pulled her forehead away from mine, but our arms and hands remained in the same positions - "Eli.. This all is your decision. I want _us_, I want us to be back together -" She paused, we were staring directly in to each others eyes, "If you want there to be an_ 'us_'. If you want to be with me... Just say the words and I'll be there."

I hesitated to respond, not knowing exactly what I wanted. The only thing that I did know was that I was with Clare, and I couldn't be any happier. I had finally kissed her.

"We're back.. _Clare_." I paused. "I want you back."

With that last word, Clare had the biggest smile spread across her face, as she kissed me once more.

* * *

Monday.

Mondays were torture. Just waking up to the sun shining through your window, after a long weekend. Weekends always were so relaxing - and it gave you a chance to actually have fun, rather than do school work. After relaxing for a couple days, you're caught off guard by your alarm clock ringing and your parents yelling for you to wake up.

I, for one, was not a fan of any of this - waking up early, arriving to another type of Hell.. And then having to learn? Who ever created school must have been really pissed off at the world.

I yawned as I stood from my bed, and entered the bathroom. I showered, brushed my teeth, changed, and then made my way downstairs. I took notice to a.. _weird _situation.

The situation? My mother was cooking breakfast, while my father helped her. These two didn't get along very often - No, they never get along. The fact that they were making breakfast and smiling at each other was just.. _Disturbing_.

I awkwardly approached the kitchen table, and took a seat. I wasn't sure how to react to all of this. Just having a normal family moment seemed impossible, if you asked me. I never in a million years thought that this family could ever be normal, or okay again. To be honest, I didn't mind having a messed up family. All of my life, I had to get used to living with just one parent. I didn't mind it.

"This is new." I spoke up, my parents heads quickly turned back to look at me.

"What's new, sweetie?" My mom asked, with a bright smile on her face. I never knew that some one could be this happy, this early in the morning.

I shook my head- "Nothing." I said with a smile, not wanting to interrupt or ruin the family moment. Both of my parents smiled at me, then smiled at each other - and then continued to cook.. Maybe love can work out in the end.

* * *

I pulled up to Degrassi. As I explained before; I was not excited. The only thing that held me from being so annoyed and pissed off at such an early Monday morning - is the fact that I will be seeing Clare Edwards here. I hadn't seen her since our last night meeting. But I was very happy with what had occurred last night.

I know - I made a promise to myself that Clare and I would never happen again. I talked so rudely and harshly about Clare, and I hated her guts for a good few days. I had plans to never speak to that girl ever again. But here I am, on a Monday morning - praying to see Clare as soon as possible.

I exited Morty and entered Degrassi. I approached my locker, and immediately opened it. As I sat on the floor - sorting through my books - I heard a familiar voice.. One that didn't belong to Clare, or to Adam. It was..

"Eli." I turned my head to see Ellie standing right next to me. I stood up, and gave her a fake smile. I didn't hate or dislike her - I just felt like talking to her was not a good idea at all. I didn't want any trouble or drama with Clare. I just wanted Clare.

"Oh, hey Ellie." _Awkward, awkward, awkward_...

"Your bruises and cuts seem to be already healing." She commented. I had to be nice to her - she saved my ass from getting destroyed. I let out a small laugh, and shrugged.

"Yeah. That wasn't one of my finest moments." I responded. She laughed, and I then looked down - I didn't want to even look at her. I felt like she threatened me and Clare's relationship. I had recently gotten feelings for Ellie, and I didn't want them to reappear. I wanted to stay with Clare.

"I talked to Fitz -" She paused "_Correction_ - I _yelled_ at Fitz." Ellie stated, I smiled-

"And what did you _yell_ at Fitz?"

"I told him he was a jerk, who needed to mind his own business and stop being such a dumb ass. I also told him that his tough guy appearance was unbelievable and he just looked like an idiot who thought he was brave." She explained.

"Damn." I said, sort of shocked.. Why would Ellie flip out on one of her close guy friends for a guy who she just met? "And his response was?"

"He actually didn't yell back. He began feeling bad - He begged me for my forgiveness. And after he practically went on and on for three years about how much he didn't want to lose me as a friend, just because of some _'emo-boy'_ - I finally forgave him."

"_'Emo Boy'_? I don't think Fitz even knows my real name anymore." I joked. Ellie softly laughed.

"Eh it's whatever." She said with a smile, "Actually; since I'm all fired up from that argument with Fitz - I'm about to go teach that Clare Edwards girl a lesson." Ellie stated, as she began to walk away. I quickly grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"No - don't do that." I demanded.

"And why would I not?" She asked.

"Because.." I paused, Ellie rose her eyebrows - signaling for me to continue.. "We're back together."

_Awkward_. Ellie's jaw practically dropped, as her cheeks formed in to a red color. She looked sad and embarrassed. I couldn't help but feel more guilty then ever before. I think I may have led Ellie on - No, I_ know_ that I had led Ellie on. Why must I be such a douche bag?

"Oh." She responded, nodding slowly. After remaining silent for a few moments - "Bye Eli." She quietly added, before walking away.

Damn.

I let out a deep breath, and looked up at the ceiling. I have this habit of fucking people over. I wish I didn't mess every friendship and relationship up. I shrugged it off and attempted to forget about it - by going back to getting all my books out for my first few classes.

I heard a much more familiar voice; I knew exactly who this girl was,

"Eli Goldsworthy, actually preparing for classes? Damn, never thought I'd see the day." Clare Edwards, _your sarcasm hurts_.

"Damn, Saint Clare making me feel like I'm not smart?" Clare smiled, as I stood up - and kissed her.

"How is your Monday going so far?" Tell her about Ellie or no..?

"Good." Yeah, it's better if she doesn't know; "It's the same old story.. I wake up - hating the world and dreading school. Then I remember that I'll see you here, so it makes just about every thing feel so much better."

Clare smiled and kissed me again; "Quite the suck up, aren't we, Eli Goldsworthy?"

"Oh shut it Edwards - I've hated every one and every thing for the past week; I think I have the right to sound like I'm a suck up."

"Good point, good point."

I smiled and closed my locker - and sat down on the floor - my back leaning against the lockers. Clare then took a seat next to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, and we held hands.

"Our last day together.. For two weeks." She stated, in a quiet tone. "You going to come see me tomorrow morning before I leave?" She asked me.

"I will."

"Promise?"

"_Promise_."

* * *

It was after school, when I was walking out to my car, when Ellie approached me. I could barely even look at this girl with out feeling the awkwardness and tension growing between the two of us - How was I supposed to talk to her?

"Eli." She shouted my name - grabbing my attention,

"What's up?"

"We need to finish our Social Studies project - it's due tomorrow, remember?"

Fuck, I wanted to spend tonight with Clare, considering the fact that it was her last night home. I had to find a way out of this..

"Oh, I'm busy tonight though. Can't you and KC work on it?"

"No. KC's sick."

"What about you and that other guy?" I asked.

"_Brian_ claims that he did all of the project and doesn't plan on doing all of the work." I was so screwed.

"But, it's Clare's last night home.. She's leaving for two weeks."

"Cry me a river." Harsh. "I'll be over at eight tonight."

With that, Ellie walked away. I never thought that she could be such a bitch..

I rolled my eyes and walked towards Morty. I saw Clare leaning against my car - waiting for me. I smiled as I approached her.

"And what would you be doing here?"

"I needed a ride home. Walking home gets kind of annoying some times." Clare responded, I smiled.

"Eh, I don't really want to drive you home." I joked, she rolled her eyes and hit my arm.

"Suck it up, Eli - You're going to have to drive me home for the rest of the year."

"Not if I don't want to." Sarcasm was the funnest way to mess/joke with Clare.

She ignored my comment and entered the passenger's seat.


	61. Chapter 59

**sociallyawkward7 **- Hahah, I'm glad that I got the happy random symbols! (: I'm also sad that my story is ending :( It's okay though, I'll start a new EClare story, right when I finish this one. (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**clareandeliforever **- Hahahaha! (: I'm glad that you liked that line so much! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It honestly means so much to me and to my story. (: I really do appreciate it. (:  
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**Elinfatuated** - I love spelling Amayzing like that (: (Munro knows best) :P Haha. Awwwh! I'm so happy that you like my taste in music (: It really does mean a lot to me! (: I hope that you read my new story (I plan on posting it the same day, or the day after I post the last chapter of this story). (: Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story. I really do appreciate it. (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl **- Haha, I'm glad you're happy! (: Thanks so so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me; and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**Broken14yearoldheart **- Hahaha, that is how you spell it. At least I think. :P Haha; Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story. I appreciate it, a lot! (:  
**EliandClare414** - Actually, there's only one more chapter left after this one, :( Well, I haven't really thought of my main idea for my next EClare story, but I plan on beginning to write the first chapter as soon as possible. I really hope you read my next story! (: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story - I really do appreciate it. (:  
**LonelyGirl** - You are going to have to read to find out! :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It means so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**loooove it **- Awwh (: thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I honestly appreciate it and it means so much to me. (:  
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**Song Suggestion** - "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday

-NEXT CHAPTER IS THE FINAL CHAPTER :(

Chapter Fifty Nine  
"Part One: All I Know Is That The Ends Beginning"

"See you tonight?" Clare asked, as I parked Morty in front of her home. Tell the truth or wait till later? I debated for only a second or two - before I was forced to answer.

"Of course." Why was I so addicted to lying?

Clare smiled brightly "Good." She stated, before leaning over to kiss me. I smiled and she then exited the car. I watched her walk up the stairs and to the door. Before entering her home, she looked back and smiled at me. I put on a fake smile. I couldn't smile right now. I felt sick to my stomach.

Clare proceeded to enter her home, and the minute she closed the door - I let out a loud sigh and clenched my fist. I was so angry at myself - I was so disappointed that I was messing up our night tonight. Clare and I had planned on spending every minute possible, before she went on vacation. And here we are; I messed it all up, of course.

I pulled up to my house, and took notice to the fact that neither of my parent's cars were in the driveway. I entered the house and immediately walked in to the kitchen. I suddenly saw a blue post-it placed on the fridge. I approached it and was extremely curious, as I ripped it from the fridge and began reading.

"_Eli, your father and I are out to dinner, and won't be home till about twelve. We'll bring home leftovers! -Mom_"

My parents.. Out of the house.. _Together_? Didn't seem possible, if you asked me. I can't believe that the two are even getting along, let alone going out together. Maybe my broken family would finally put the pieces back together. I know, I expressed my feelings about my family and how I don't mind having every thing split up - but there are some days where all you can wish is that your family could be like every one elses.

I some times wished that both Clare and my families would fix every thing and be okay again. I especially prayed that Clare's family would come back together. That girl has the biggest heart and the nicest personality - she didn't deserve to have every thing she believed in, torn apart. Clare deserved much more then what the world has given her.

I walked upstairs and threw my backpack on my bedroom floor. I layed down on my bed and leaned over to turn on my Ipod player. I didn't even change or think about the song that had turned on - I don't even remember which song it was - All I did, was layed there, just thinking and thinking and thinking. I was mostly attempting to think of some genius plan to get out of tonight. I wanted to spend the night with Clare, not Ellie. But I'll admit; I don't know Ellie well - but I can already tell that she's stubborn.

She wasn't going to just suck it up and work with out me tonight. She wasn't going to realize how much tonight and Clare mean to me. Instead of thinking of a way of getting out of doing homework tonight, I needed to think of a way to lie to Clare about it. Clare doesn't like Ellie - Actually, Clare hates Ellie. If I were to explain to Clare that we wouldn't be together tonight because I was going to study with another girl, especially a girl who's Ellie.. Things would _not_ go well.

Clare and I just fixed things - less then twenty four hours ago - I really didn't want to already make mistake. I plan to keep me and Clare's relationship better this time. I didn't want to fight or make mistakes any more. I just wanted Clare and I to be perfect - to work out and have no troubles. No drama, no fights, no break-ups; I just wanted Clare and me to be okay.

_The question is_.. Is lying to her going to help things stay okay? I mean, how would she find out that I lied anyway? I could just say I'm sick or have a family thing or some thing else..

I admit - I'm stupid. But I tend to be good at lying.. Even if it is to the girl I love..

* * *

"Hey Eli." Clare spoke in to the phone. I had called her - lying to her in person would be ten million times harder. I was scared to see her reaction to what I was going to say; I was scared she wouldn't believe me; I was scared that she would be mad at me.

"Hi Clare." I spoke, my voice was very shaky.

"What's up? It's only six, I thought we were hanging out at 7:30?" She asked; I dreaded her asking about tonight. I didn't want to explain to her how badly I was messing up. I honestly felt so guilty, that I was probably guiltier then the sickest criminal in the world.

"_About that_.." I was about to continue, before Clare interrupted.

"Oh, are we going out earlier?" She asked. Please stop assuming - it's making me feel even worse.

"No.. _Not exactly_." I answered, in a quiet tone,

"What then? Spit it out."

"I can't hang out tonight." I just said it - I had to get it over with.

Silence was some thing that Clare and I always seemed to have. No matter what conversation, where we were, or who we were with - one of us would always say some thing that caused an awkward silence. It was always the outcome for us, when it came to bad news. Instead of immediately responding - we would just be quiet.

"Why?" Clare asked, sounding as if I had taken her heart out of her chest and stomped on it.

"Family event - dad claims that if I don't go, I'll be_ 'disrespecting' _his family. I begged not to go, but I haven't seen my dad's side of the family in a few years; he's forcing me to attend the stupid thing." **Lies**.

"Oh.." She paused; "Well, is there a way I could come with?" She asked, hopeful. Her suggestions made me feel even worse - it proved that Clare really wanted to hang out tonight; whether or not there was way.

"Sorry Clare. He said it's strictly relatives." Dammit, I felt like an asshole. If I had punched her in the face - it probably would have been less harsh.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning then, Eli. Love you. Bye." Clare hung up - not giving me the chance to apologize or tell her that I also love her.

I slowly closed my phone - and sighed, while rolling my eyes. I wasn't rolling me eyes at Clare or at any one else - I was rolling my eyes because I was so angry and frustrated at myself. If I was smart, I would of told Ellie that there was no chance in Hell that I was giving up tonight with Clare.

I would have shoved her stupid Social Studies project in her face - and told her that we could take the F, because I refuse to let tonight go. But instead, I gave in and let her push me around like I was her fucking dog.

I placed my phone on my nightstand before sitting down on my bed. I began to deeply think. I was so frustrated right now - and the only way to control my anger was to sort every thing out in my mind. I needed to know exactly where I was going with myself and how I planned to make Clare happy.

I was a douche bag - an obnoxious, lying, scumbag who doesn't deserve some one as good as Clare. Hell, I don't even deserve a roof over my head at this point. I had never been so harsh on myself for messing some thing up with Clare - I was just so angry this time, because Clare and me had JUST fixed every thing. I felt like some thing bad was going to happen, whether I could stop it or not.

It's barely been a day and I have already put all of this on the line.

* * *

The clock was reaching eight o'clock - and I practically prayed for each minute to take ten times longer then it did. I dreaded Ellie showing up - I prayed that some thing would happen, where she wouldn't be able to come. I didn't want to look, talk, or be with her. At this very moment, I hated her. She ruined some thing that I really wanted - I planned on making tonight miserable for her.

The minute we finished this stupid project - I was going to kick her out of my house and then run to Clare's.

I heard the doorbell ring - I would rather get punched in the face three hundred and fifty million times, then go answer the door. Ellie was usually cool, but things were extremely awkward and tense between the two of us. I knew that tonight wasn't going to be fun or enjoyable - it was going to be stupid and annoying. A waste of both of our times, actually.

I walked down the stairs, taking my time on each step - attempting to prevent having to begin homework. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs and was standing in front of the door - I hesitated to open it. I let out a deep breath and softly placed my hand on the door knob. I slowly twisted it and let out a sigh as I opened the door and saw Ellie standing there.

She had her back pack on her back, and she had a bright smile on her face. She seemed more.._ pleasant_ then earlier. Maybe tonight wouldn't be as terrible as I thought..

Hopefully we can get along, get this over with - and I'll be able to go see Clare.

"Hey." She greeted me, still smiling. I smiled back - I decided to not be my usual sarcastic and rude self - and instead, I planned on being more welcoming and happy.

"Hey. Come in." I stated, moving out of the door way and providing her space to walk in to my house. As she walked in - I was able to see her eyes scanning every last inch of my house.

"Your house is so pretty." Ellie stated. She clearly had no taste - this house didn't even compare to a jail cell.

I just smiled at her, and began walking up the stairs, with her following behind me. I entered my room and she did after me - she shut the door, and took her coat off, placing it on my computer chair.

"So.." I began "Get the poster out and let's quickly finish this. I really want to see Clare tonight, since she's leaving tomorrow." I explained - I figured that just getting the whole truth and story out there, as soon as possible, was the best thing to do. Maybe she would feel sympathetic and work as fast as possible.

"Oh." Awkward.

We stood there for a few seconds, in silence, before she set her back pack on my desk, and grabbed the poster from the inside of it. She then layed the poster on the floor, with some pencils and her History book. She sat on the floor, and then looked up at me;

"Do you plan on helping me, or are you just going to stand there all night to watch me do all of the work?" How about you go home, finish the project on your own, and stop being such a stuck up bitch.

I fake-smiled and sat across the poster from her - "What do we even have left to do?" I asked, as I stared at a poster that was practically full and seemed to have all the writing, designs, and coloring necessary. In my mind; if we added any thing else, it would look over done.

"Uhm.." She mumbled, over-looking the poster and seeming like she didn't even know what else to put. Maybe this was all a trick.. "We need to add a few more things."

"Like what?" I asked, growing suspicious. Ellie seemed nervous and I personally believe that it was because she knew that I was coming on to her lie.

"We need to finish coloring the title and we need to go over all the words in Sharpie." Ellie answered, giving me a look that practically said _'I Just Owned You'_.

"And you couldn't of just done this by yourself?" I asked. I didn't mean to be rude - well actually, I did. "Not trying to be mean, but how hard can coloring and darkening words be?"

"Eli. You barely even touched this project - the least you can do is color." Ellie responded "Sorry that every one in our group isn't going to do all the work to get your lazy ass an A." What a bitch.

"Yeah, because my master plan was to punch one of our group members in the face, and then have none of you guys call me, when you planned to meet up to work on our project." I sarcastically stated. "Sorry that you all picked KC over me, and decided to completely ignore me when ever you guys planned to work on the poster._ Not my fault_."

"Yeah, _blame every one else_.." She murmured, as she looked away from me and down at the poster. I rolled my eyes.

After a minute or two of complete and harsh silence - Ellie finally spoke up.

"I don't want to fight, Eli." She began, letting out a deep breath "To be honest, the last thing I want to do is fight right now." Ellie paused, "I guess I'm just a little.. _Angry_ at you."

"Why?"

"I don't want to sound stupid." She said, sounding like she was already embarrassed.

"You won't sound stupid. Just tell me."

"I felt like.. _Rejected_ earlier today. You sort of led me on and made me think I had a chance with you." Ellie calmly stated, as her cheeks turned a light pink color.

"Ellie. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. You're a cool girl, I just.. I love Clare." At least I was being honest.

Ellie nodded and smiled "Honestly.." She began, "Did you ever have feelings for me - like, at all?"

"I did." I answered, "I began to have feelings for you for like a day or two.. But I couldn't stop thinking of Clare. I wasn't going to jump right in to some thing new with you, when I knew that what me and Clare have wasn't any where near over."

She nodded awkwardly. She then stood up from the ground and approached my desk. She picked up a framed picture of me and Clare.

"You guys.. Must _really _love each other." She stated, staring at the picture. I couldn't help but smile.

"We do." I quietly answered, Ellie looked at me and placed the picture frame back on the desk. She then walked over to me and sat down next to me - so close to me, that she could practically be sitting on top of me. "Then why are you here?"

"Because you didn't really give me an option." I responded.

"Or is because you want to be here?" She asked, flirtatiously; I gave her a confused and annoyed look -

"No.. I don't actually." I was being harsh, I'll admit that.

She leaned in to me and our faces were inches away, I had no plans at all to kiss her. If she was going to even move in any closer, I was going to stand up and demand her to leave.

I was about to yell at her, when the door opened.

"Oh,_ this_ is your family event, huh?" A girl yelled from the door. I quickly turned my head to see Clare standing there.

"No, Clare - trust me, this is the complete opposite of what you think!" I yelled, standing up.

"So you're not about to make out with another girl, when you're supposed to be out with your family?" She yelled,

"I was about to tell her to leave! I swear!" I yelled, walking towards her.

"You hypocritical asshole!" She yelled, slapping me so hard across the face, that it tingled and felt like it was on fire.

"No, Clare!" Ellie finally spoke out - "I was going to kiss him and he didn't want to."

"Yeah because I'm going to believe _you_." Clare sarcastically responded. She then turned her attention back on me, suddenly; I noticed tears coming to her eyes - "When me and KC kissed - You made me feel like the most disgusting person on this planet. You treated me like I was nothing to you. And now, here we stand - and you are about to do the same thing to me, that I did to you? Is this your way of getting even or some thing?" She paused. "You know what - you have fun over these next two weeks - Actually, have all the fun you want for the rest of your life.. Because I'm done."

Clare then began leaving my house, I stood there - still for a moment; I saw her turn to began walking down the stairs; when I decided that I couldn't give up on us. I ran to the stairs, and walked down till I was two stairs in front of Clare. I then turned to face her, and put both my hands on each railing - so that I was blocking her exit.

"I'm not letting you leave, Clare."

"Eli. Stop." She demanded, as a tear rolled down her perfect pale skin.

"Clare - you have this all wrong! Ellie even said it herself!" I stated.

"Eli, I don't want to hear what you have to say! You lied to me! You told me you were going to a relative-only party, when instead you were in your bedroom with another girl - inches away from kissing! If you guys were really just _'hanging out_' then why not do it in the living room or in the kitchen - instead of your bedroom?" She yelled. I had no answer. "Exactly." She responded to my silence -

She grabbed my arm and pushed it off the railing - I moved both my arms, and allowed her to leave.

I stood there - all alone, on the stairs - just having no thoughts in my mind. All I could even think of is how much of a hypocrite I looked like right now. I yelled and hated Clare's guts when KC kissed her - and now that the same thing has happened to me.. I finally understand where she was coming from. She had lied to me, just like I had lied to her - KC had kissed her, just like Ellie tried to kiss me.

Ellie suddenly began walking down the stairs, I didn't even make eye contact with her - I didn't even move when I saw her - I just acted as if she wasn't even there.

She opened the front door-

"Eli." She spoke my name, I didn't turn around or move - "I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything, after about ten seconds; the front door shut - meaning that Ellie had left.

I am left all alone now. I fucked up, I should of known from the start that this was a bad idea. I should of invited Clare over, so she could be here while me and Ellie quickly finished the project. I could of done so many things to prevent this situation. For once in my life.. I blame myself.

* * *

It was three AM, and I was wide awake. I was sitting in the front seat of Morty. It was pouring rain, the thunder was overwhelming and the lightning was blinding. I just sat there, blankly staring forward - watching as the rain hit the windshield. The rain sounded like bullets. I didn't even have the radio or music playing - all that I needed to hear were my thoughts and the harsh rain.

I suddenly heard the passenger's seat door open, I looked over to see my mother sit down in the passenger's seat and then close the door. She was silent at first, knowing that some thing was wrong with me. There was only one other time, besides now, where I sat in Morty - in complete silence - in an intense thunderstorm.. And that was when I lost Julia.

"Eli, honey, what happened?" My mom asked, breaking the silence. I hesitated to answer - explaining this entire situation seemed harsh; maybe impossible. Just thinking about it made me sick. I continued to look forward, I didn't even want to look at my mother.

"Clare.." Just saying her name hurt. "She, uhm, she broke up with me."

"Why?"

"I lied to her.. She's leaving tomorrow for vacation for two weeks, and tonight we were supposed to be together. This girl, Ellie, forced me to help her finish our Social Studies project - since it's due tomorrow.. I lied to Clare, and told her I had a family party. She decided to drop by and say hi.. She happened to walk in when Ellie was trying to kiss me." I explained - I still hadn't looked at my mom, I remained staring forward.

She waited a few seconds to speak - "Do you like Ellie?"

"Not at all." I spoke quietly.

"Then.. Let Clare know that."

"I did - Well, _I tried_.. Clare could barely even look at me."

"Every relationship has their problems, sweetheart. If you mean as much to Clare, as she means to you.. Then she'll come around, eventually."

"And what if she doesn't?" I asked, turning my attention away from the front of the car - and looking at my mother. It was the first time that I had actually looked at her through out this entire conversation. "What if she realizes how much I mess up? All of her friends have continuously told her that I make so many mistakes - Clare knows that I've messed up a lot.. What if she gets sick of having to make up and break up all the time? What if she gets sick of having to be scared of what I'll do next? What if she gets scared to be with me?"

"Eli, if you really want Clare's forgiveness - and if you really want Clare.. Then you have to prove it." My mother told me, "You need to go see her tomorrow, before she leaves - you have to say or do whatever it takes to make her realize how much she means to you." My mom opened the car door, and before she exited it - "And remember, Eli.._ Actions speak louder then words_." My mother then exited the car, closed the door and quickly walked to the house.

I then stared forward and let out a deep breath. I knew that this was my last chance. I had one last chance to make it all up to Clare. I had one last chance to win her back - and this time.. I would never even take a risk at messing it up. I would make sure that the two of us would be the most perfect and amazing couple to ever be together.

* * *

I had stayed up all night, just sitting in Morty. Not one time did I even come close to falling asleep. I had closed my eyes and attempted to fall asleep plenty of times - but none of them were successful. I was too nervous - too scared - too sad to even think about sleep. I turned my car on, and began driving towards the Edward's home. I needed as much time possible with Clare, in order to explain myself to her.

I drove as fast as possible, wanting to get there as early as I could. I pulled up to Clare's home, to see her mom packing some suitcases in the trunk - Darcy was helping her. I parked Morty across the street and awkwardly approached the two girls. I was nervous; I was almost positive that Clare had told Darcy about what had happened - and I knew that this was not going to go as smooth as I had hoped.

"Uhm.." I murmured nervously, "Hello Ms. Edwards and Darcy." Being polite was the only thing I could think of right now. I was far too exhausted and upset to suck up any more then I already was.

"Hello there Eli, here to say goodbye to Clare?" Clare's mom said with a bright smile.

"She's inside, want me to go get her?" Darcy asked - also being very friendly. Maybe Clare hadn't told them after all..

"Would you be able to?" I asked, Darcy smiled and nodded, before she turned around and walked back in to the house.

Ms. Edwards and I stood there in silence, as she organized all the suitcases and bags in the trunk of the car. Suddenly Clare came walking out of the house, with Darcy. My eyes were focused on Clare, as she approached me. Even at 6:50 in the morning; she was beautiful. She seemed very angry at me - like she wanted to murder me. Luckily, _I had witnesses_..

Clare walked across the street and I followed; I figured that she did this so that her sister and mother wouldn't hear our conversation.

"Eli, just leave." She quickly demanded.

"No. I refuse to, Clare. I won't leave until you hear me out and take me back."

"Well then I guess you'll be here forever." Ouch. I quickly shook off her comment and attempted to keep my focus on the only thing I wanted - _her forgiveness_.

"Clare, after last night.. I came to realize some thing." I paused "You were in the same position as me a few weeks ago. You lied to me about hanging out with KC and KC tried making a move on you. As for my situation - I lied to you about hanging out with Ellie and Ellie tried to make a move on me."

"But the difference is - you kept saying how what I did was so low and so wrong - and how it hurt you so much and how much you hated my guts for what I did. You did the exact same thing I did. You're a hypocrite, Eli."

"And I admit that I am, Clare, I'm a complete hypocrite and I know that I messed up. I would do anything to take it back."

"Unless you have a time machine - you're wasting my time." Clare stated, beginning to walk away from me - I grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Clare, if you had just shown up a minute before you did - you would of heard me tell Ellie that I didn't want to hurt her, but I was in love with you." I paused. "I'm in love with you, Clare, as much as you want to believe that or not. I love you, more then any thing in this entire universe. I would give up any thing to get you back. Just please.. One more chance."

"_One_ more chance? How many chances have I given you, Eli? I mean honestly, you mess up our relationship at least fifty times a month - I'm sick of crying over a boy who never seems to care."

"Clare. I care more then anything. If you take me back - I will never lie to you again, I will do every thing in my power to keep you from getting hurt, I will be there for you through every thing and I will never leave your side. Just please."

"Goodbye Eli." She walked away, and this time I let her.

She entered the backseat of her family car, and closed the door. I stood there, in disbelief. Suddenly, Darcy approached me.

"Clare told me, about every thing that happened with you guys." She paused "If you really want to get my sister back, then you need to take a big chance - Follow us to our summer home and surprise her."

"How will I do that?"

"Go to the Dot, and get my number from Peter - text me and I'll give you the address to our summer home. Just don't say one word about this to Clare - she would never talk to me again." Darcy quickly walked away and entered the passenger's seat of the car. Her mom entered the driver's seat - and the car began driving.

It was official. I was going to Clare's summer home.

* * *

**TRUST ME, PLEASE. (:**  
**I promise - I will not disappoint you! **


	62. Chapter 60: The Final Chapter

**-BTW;** I just posted my new story** "Love and Memories"** which is an** EClare story** (:

**Itran** - Awwh, I'm glad that you love it. (: I'm so thankful that you enjoy my writing and it really does mean a lot to me. (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story, it really does mean a lot to me and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**clareandeliforever **- I'm glad you trust me :P I'm glad you laughed at that line, (: Here's the final chapter! :( Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story. It seriously means so much to me, and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**xXEliLoverXx **- Hahaha, (: Go Darcy! :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. It honestly means so much to me! (:  
**sociallyawkward7 **- Here's the new chapter! (: But sadly.. It's the last :( Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing my story. It honestly means so much to me, and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**MadameDegrassi-girl** - Haha, mixed emotions? :P You're going to have to read to see what he gives her, (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. You've been reviewing for such a long time now, and it really does mean so much to me and to my story (: Thank you. (:  
**EliandClare414** - Awh, I'm so glad that you're going to read my new story (: I just posted it actually! :P Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story. Also, you've been reviewing so many chapters and it means so much to me that you sticked with my story and continued to read it till the very end. (: Thank you. (:  
**P** - I know; that song is so incredibly amazing (: And I held off studying for my finals to finish this /: Uh oh, lmao. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It honestly means so much to me and to this story. (:  
**im. an. eclare225** - Haha, this is the ending! :( I honestly would like to thank you for reading and reviewing this story. You've been reviewing for a really long time now, and I just want you to know that it really does mean a lot to me. (: Thanks so much! (:  
**DancingintheRayne** - Will do! (: I really would like to thank you for reading and reviewing as much as you do. It seriously means the world to me, and I'm very thankful that you reviewed so many chapters and stuck with my story. (: Thank you! (:  
**No Name -** Will do (: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to the story. (:  
**Broken14yearoldheart** - Haha, awwh I'm glad you still liked it (: Thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing this story. It seriously means so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (: Thank you.  
**Elinfatuated** - Guys take forever to learn :P haha. I loved when Eli said "Ouch" in the show (: He soo cute! :P Well, here is the final chapter and I really hope that you enjoy it. (: Thank you so so much for reviewing and reading this story. It seriously means so much to me and I really would like to thank you. (:  
**EclareTheLovers** - Haha, (: I'm glad that you liked it, (: ! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It seriously means so much to me and to this story; and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**Ninnerx3** - I'm glad you think so (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It seriously does mean so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**Princess. Amyyy** - I'm glad you trust me (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. It honestly means so much to me and I really do appreciate it. (:  
**Azula Felinae** - Go Darcy! :P hahaha; Thanks so so so so much for reading and reviewing this story. It seriously means so much to me, and I really do appreciate all of your reviews. (:  
**peacelovedegrassi** - Haha, I DO REMEMBER! (: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. You've been reviewing for a while now, and I just want you to know that I honestly appreciate all of your reviews. And I'm very thankful for them. (:  
**EClare4Ever393** - Awh I'm sorry :( I started a new EClare story :P You should go read it :P haaha. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and to my story. Thank you so much. (:

-I would like to start off by saying thank you to every single one of you who  
reviewed my story. I honestly am so thankful for having such dedicated and  
amazing reviewers. You guys seriously mean the world to me, and I'm so happy  
that I was able to write this story. (: I really really really hope that you guys  
enjoyed this story, and I hope that you guys will read my next EClare fanfiction! (:  
**Thank you so so much** (:  
-I'm not going to lie, I'm really really sad that this story is ending.. :( Hopefully my  
next EClare story will have as many amazing and dedicated reviewers as this one (:

Chapter Sixty  
THE FINAL CHAPTER  
"Part Two: All I Know Is That The Ends Beginning"

I stood there, frozen, just watching the Edward's car driving away. Was Darcy's idea a good one? Or would it just make things worse? What if I were to drive all the way to her summer home - for her to reject me and shut me down? I guess.. Love is all about taking the risks, right?

I opened Morty's drivers seat and immediately entered it. The second I shut the door, was the same second that I pushed my foot down as hard as possible on the pedal. I needed to get to Clare, as soon as possible. I didn't want her to keep thinking about our fight - or to keep thinking about what had caused our fight. I just wanted her to see how much we need each other. I'm willing to go to great lengths to make this work, whether or not Clare wants to put this all behind us or not.

I never drove this fast at seven in the morning - I was never this _wide awake_ at seven in the morning.

I parked Morty across from the Dot, and sprinted inside. I took notice to Peter, who was working behind the counter.

"Peter, what's Darcy's number?" I asked, out of breath, with out even saying Hello or any other greeting.

To be honest, Peter and I rarely ever talked - and barely even looked at each other, for that matter. It was probably a little awkward that I barged in to his work and demanded his girlfriend's number.

"Why?" He asked, giving me the most confused look.

Although I didn't have time to explain; I figured that it was the only way that Peter would give me her number - "Clare broke up with me, and they left for their summer home today. I went to say goodbye to Clare, but she blew me off - and when Clare wasn't looking, Darcy approached me and said that if I got her number from you - she would give me the summer home address - and I would go up there to surprise Clare and make it up to her." I explained quickly; Peter stood still for a few seconds, before grabbing his phone from his pocket.

He gave me Darcy's number, and without thanking him or even saying goodbye to him - I ran out of the Dot.

I sprinted across the street and hopped in to Morty. I sat in my parked car, and texted Darcy asking for the address. Once she replied, giving me the address, I sped off. I knew how to get there, I have lived in Canada my entire life, it wasn't that hard to find out where you were going.

As I drove, I got a little nervous. To calm myself down, I turned on my one of my favorite CD's. Music usually eases the bad emotions that I have at the moment - but right now, it's not working. I'm growing paranoid about this whole idea.. I'm scared that I'll be wasting my time and making a fool out of myself.

If I were to pour my heart out to her - and she just completely laughed in my face and shut the door; what was I going to do? I can't expect Clare to forgive and take me back. I can't just believe that what ever I do will be enough. Hope is all I got right now.

I know that I can't over think this. The more that I think of how bad this can go - the more nervous I'll get, and the bigger chance of me backing out. I just have to think about how good this can go.

I stopped at a store - a jewelry story, actually. It was the same store that I had gotten Clare's birthday necklace from. I walked in and immediately went to the glass counter, that held the most expensive necklaces, earrings, rings and bracelets.

I glanced through them all, waiting for one of them to catch my attention. I suddenly saw a ring, that looked perfect.

"Excuse me," I spoke, catching the worker's attention, she turned and smiled at me - "Can I see that one?" I asked, pointing to the ring. She smiled and nodded and grabbed the ring from under the glass and handed it to me.

It was a thick silver ring, that had the writing - "I'll Love You Forever" written around it.

"How much?"

"One hundred and fifty dollars." She informed me. I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket and opened it. Whenever I got the chance to save up all my money.. I spend it all on Clare. Ironic, huh?

I handed her the money and took off. Once I got inside my car, I knew that I had to get back on track. Clare had left about a half hour ago, meaning that she would have thirty minutes before I arrived at her summer home.

I felt more confident about this whole thing now. I had gotten Clare a ring, and I was going all the way to her summer home. I debated whether or not to plan out what I was going to do, once I got there. But I personally believe that it's better to just wing it.

Once I get there, I'll let my brain take over - and just let what ever the hell I want to say, be said. I figured that if I were to plan it out before I got there; I would stutter whatever speech I had prepared - or it would make me even more nervous.

The song "The Only Exception" turned on the radio. This song was not in my taste in music, at all.. But I didn't change it, for one reason.

There was a time, a long time ago, where I had asked Clare what song reminded her of the two of us.. She said this song. And I'm not going to lie - ever since that day, whenever this song turns on the radio, I always let it play.

I wonder if I really was Clare's _"Only Exception"_. I mean, she's said that I was before - and there has been plenty of times where she has proved that she has changed her mind on a lot of things for me. Clare is my only exception for a lot of things..

I made a rule about my car, only MY music and I choose the radio stations.. But whenever I drive Clare some where - she picks the song and station.

I made a promise to myself, a long time ago - when Julia passed, that none of my future girlfriends were ever allowed in my room ever again; I didn't want to ruin me and Julia's memories.. But Clare always hangs out in my room.

I planned to never tell anyone about my home life and how messed up it is - but Clare knows about every thing.

None of my future girlfriends were supposed to ever find out about Julia, - But Clare knows.

It's like - every past promise that I made to myself about the future and how I was going to treat girls, after Julia, has completely changed. I want to make Clare happy; even if it means breaking my walls down and showing the real Eli.

I want Clare to know every little detail about me. I want there to be no secrets at all between the two of us.

Before Clare, I was never happy with myself - I felt like I was messed up and unwanted - but then there came Clare. She makes me feel like a better person. She's the only reason why I believe that I can get better - and I can be a better person then I was before.

* * *

I was only about five minutes away from her summer home, and I couldn't be more scared. The more that I think about how much she means to more, the more that I realize how big of a deal this all is.

In five minutes, I'm going to have to pour my heart out to Clare - and there's a fifty percent chance that she'll forgive me and take me back.. but there's also a fifty percent chance that she'll shut the door in my face and delete my contact number from her phone.

My stomach got massive butterflies - and I felt like throwing up - my hands were shaking so fastly, that I thought that I wouldn't be able to even hold on to the wheel anymore - my mouth was dry and my breathing was heavy - as I pulled up to Clare Edwards summer home.

I sat in Morty, gripping the wheel as tight as possible, even though I was parked. I stared forward and I felt my entire body go numb. I've never been this nervous in my life, and it really is freaking me out. I texted Darcy and told her to make sure that Clare was the one to answer the door. I waited a minute..

Actually, I waited _five_ minutes, until I exited Morty.

I opened the driver's seat door, and just sat there for a few seconds, with it opened. I finally stepped out and closed the door. I stared at Clare's summer home; looking at it as if it was a school. I dreaded knocking on that door.

I let out a few deep breaths and then slowly approached her house. I stood in front of the front door - I raised my fist, to knock on the door, but quickly put it back down. I don't think I can do this - it's too much for me.

But.. It's too late to turn back now.

I let out a deep breath - and finally built up the courage to knock on the door. I swallowed my pride, as I stood there, awaiting for some one to open the door. After a second or two.. There she was - that blue eyed, curly hair, beautiful girl. She looked at me like I was crazy for a moment.

She began to close the door, but I quickly put my hand out - preventing her from closing it.

She walked outside and shut the door -

"Eli, what are you doing here?"

"Clare, we honestly need to talk."

"We've done all the talking we needed to." She responded -

"Clare, I'm not done talking and I won't be until you've heard every last word that I need to say." I was speaking as if I had all the confidence in the world; if only she knew that I actually had none at all, at this moment.

"Fine. Eli.. _Go ahead_." Clare gave me permission to continue.

I was silent for a moment.. I didn't know what to say - that's when I just said every thing that came to mind.

"Ever since day one, I've been in love with you. You are the most perfect, most amazing girl in the world. I always believed that after Julia, I would never find a girl again. I thought that I was destined to be a nobody for the rest of my life.. But then, _you came along_. Clare, you changed me. I was so used to fighting, being violent, and drinking - I was out of a control for a few months - I thought that I was going to be like that for the rest of my life. But with you.. I feel like I'm able to change, I feel like I can become a better person and I can actually have respect for myself." I paused, "I will do any thing in my power to make you mine again. I can't - I **won't** give up on you. I refuse to give up on the one thing in my life that's actually working out. Clare, my best memories - the best times of _my life_ are with you. I don't want to lose that all over some stupid girl who tried to kiss me. Ellie means nothing to me - I'll cut off all communications with Ellie, if you want me to. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make our relationship better and stronger then it ever was before. I understand if you don't want to take me back, and I understand if you want to move on to some one who thinks before their actions, and treats you better.. I'm just asking for one more chance to show you how much you mean to me." I paused "Clare, I love you.. So much, more then you'll ever understand. And I will never stop trying to get you back. I will work my ass off until you come back to me."

I was silent. I had poured every thing that was in my head and heart out and there was no other possible way that I could express how I feel right now.

Silence. Silence. Silence - please just say some thing Clare.

"Please." I murmured; practically begging for another chance. I took the ring out from my pocket, and held it in my hands - showing it to her - "One more chance."

Clare looked down at her feet, taking off all eye contact with me.

"Eli." She spoke my name, lifting her head up to look at me; "Our relationship is so out of control and unpredictable. I've skipped school with you, which is some thing I never wanted to do.. I stood up to my parents for you, which is some thing I never ever wanted to do in my life." I knew that she would reject me. "You challenge me, Eli.. You make me take chances, and you make me risk every thing that I believe in." I was ready to leave, I was sick of hearing how much I was messing her up. "And that's why I need you. Without you, I am so shy and I hide myself from the world. But with you, I feel like I can be somebody.. I feel _alive_."

I smiled at her - "What does this mean?" I asked, those same butterflies from before rushing up in my stomach.

"It means that I can't let you go." She paused. "I want to be with you."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, and held her as tight as possible. We kissed so passionately, with all the emotion possible. We pulled apart and rested our foreheads against each others.

"We're going to be together forever, Clare, I promise." I whispered to her.

"I know we will, Eli.. I know we will."

I smiled and kissed her once more.

"I love you." I told her.

"I love you too, Eli."


End file.
